i’m so f-ing frustrated.

I made Kendra and Preston go to dinner with me on Monday so we could discuss birthday plans. It’s my twenty fifth birthday and between work and trying to make Brady fall in love with me, I haven’t had a chance to plan the extravagant ball I’ve always envisioned. Oh well. As long as I get to drink and wear a pretty dress I don’t care what we do.

“Let’s just have dinner and get drunk,” Preston said.

“John and I are going out of town. It’s Labor Day weekend,” Kendra said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “But it’s my birthday. That’s more important.”

“Quit being dramatic. We can get drunk anytime. And I’ll give you your gift beforehand.”

I couldn’t help smiling at her mentioning a gift.

“You know what size shoe I wear, right?”

Kendra rolled her eyes. “Yes, Reese.”

“So I’ll find a restaurant and make reservations. And I have the perfect place we can go afterwards,” Preston said. “You just show up looking like a vixen!”

I told them that I think I have a boyfriend and explained what happened on Saturday night. 

“Wow, you haven’t had a boyfriend since-” Kendra started.

“Don’t say his name,” I warned.

She said his name.

“Ugh. I don’t want to even think about him,” I sighed.

“It’s okay. We all have that one person where we’re like ‘what the fuck was I thinking?!'”

“That’s the thing. I know exactly what I was thinking. You guys didn’t get to see the real him. He was hot and funny and flirty and sweet. I like, loved him.”

“Yeah, too bad every girl in school felt the same way.”

Kendra was trying to be funny, but I didn’t laugh. He and I had the most ridiculous “relationship.” It was like my thing with Eric, but for months and months on end. And I was less mature and drank more back then so you can imagine the kinds of scenes I caused on campus. How fucking embarrassing.

“Well, you’ve learned your lesson, right? Don’t make the same mistakes with Brady,” Kendra said.

Of course. Because I was the one making mistakes, not my unfaithful “boyfriend.”

Kendra took me home after dinner and then Brady called. He had just gotten off work and I invited him over. I wondered if tonight was the night. I showered and put on a matching La Perla set just in case.

“Hi, how are you?” I said, letting him in.

“I’m exhausted. You look very nice,” Brady said and hugged me.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a tank top and jorts, but maybe he could tell I had cute lingerie on underneath. I grabbed us waters and joined him on my couch.

“What happened today?” I asked.

He explained that he had spent the day running around trying to fix a patient complaint that was brought on by one of his colleagues. While he didn’t specifically call anyone out or place the blame, it was the first time I’d seen Brady kind of complain. And the little stress wrinkle in his forehead was so cute.

“But you worked everything out, right?” I asked, tugging at his tie. 

“Yeah, of course. It was just a long process,” he said.

I started untying his tie, hoping he would get the hint. “You poor thing.”

“How was your day?” he asked.

“It was okay. Let’s go to my room.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to my room. I got on the bed and Brady followed, pushing me back with his body so we were laying side by side. 

We started kissing and he made his way down to my neck. His hand was positioned on my waist just below my boob and it felt like he was afraid to even touch me. Like, just grab my tit. You’ve already made out with my vagina so why not?

I got his shirt off and then reached down for his pants.

“Hey,” Brady said, pulling away slightly. “I’m kind of tired.”

I stopped and looked at him. He did look tired, but seriously? He was so tired that he didn’t want to hook up with me?

“Okay,” I said shortly and got out of bed.

I was so irritated that I went to the kitchen and dug the pack of birthday cake Oreos out of the back of my cabinet and wolfed two down. Then two more for good measure. I was completely at a loss as to why this keeps happening. But then I started thinking about how Brady told me he was exhausted and the story of his day. But still. Wouldn’t sex make it so much better? Whatever. I decided to offer him some Oreos before he went home.

Except he was already sleeping by the time I got back to my room. So maybe he really was tired.

I’m so fucking frustrated. 


38 thoughts on “i’m so f-ing frustrated.

  1. Whitney says:

    How freaking annoying! What is his hangup about sex? How many chances are you going to give him. Could he be impotent poor l or maybe he doesn’t last long? I’m beginning think that he practicing abstinence.

      • Y says:

        So not your fault. You’ve given enough clues since then. Urrrgh Brady. I’m frustrated for you. He better be so good after this wait. Are you going to invite him to your birthday party?

      • Definitely not your fault. You’ve made it clear multiple times since that you want him. I don’t know you have the patience to hold out so long…I’d be going crazy!!

      • elle says:

        They are lying it so is your fault. No guy is going to keep trying and keep trying if you say no. If he respects you he is waiting patiently but doesnt want to be teased or turned down repeatedly.

    • nylonlover69 says:

      You should invite him, but I kinda hope he is busy because I get the feeling that Drunk Reese is going to be there too, and we all know what kind of scene she can cause, especially if she is feeling left out.

  2. A says:

    It’s so very clear that he wants you though! My boyfriend has a pretty stressful job and often times he’s just exhausted after a day of work. He probably just doesn’t want to be sleepy the first time you have sex together. Cut him some slack and maybe try making plans for Saturday when he hasn’t worked and has saved all his energy to fuck you…

    • Kelly says:

      She has done that though. They were together Saturday after the work event and spent Sunday morning together. If he didn’t want to have sex when Reese was drunk why not have some mindblowing morning sex. I don’t know if it’s clear that he wants her, at first I thought so but his actions lately have me scratching my head. If this was a one off incident that would be something but this is becoming a common occurrence. Poor Reese, I’m getting frustrated for you):

  3. I’ve been waiting since last night to find out what went wrong. SIGH.
    I’d be feeling hurt at this point- I’m sensitive when I feel rejected!
    Are you losing interest or does this make it like a “chase”?

    • Luita says:

      Its funny but not really. Hahaha. How do you think he felt when you stopped things before?
      I go back to the same thing, you guys need to communicate. There’s nothing wrong with letting him know (while sober) that you want him to rock your world! Actually say the words, some guys don’t get clues. Then he’ll tell you what his hang up is, if there’s any.
      Just relax seems like thing are going well and he likes spending time with you. The physical part of the relationship will come.

  4. Amy says:

    I’d be frustrated too but he couldn’t even bring up being your ‘boyfriend’ without referencing what the girl said at the party. I agree w an earlier comment. Tell him why you stopped that time when Brady was so into it. Get his verbal reaction. Otherwise, I am clueless & would be tempted to let it go 😉

  5. K says:

    Maybe, next time you see him to hang out and you get to the point where he pulls away, just ask him straight up “babe, is everything ok? What’s wrong? I promise I won’t back out this time” and see what he says. He could be afraid you’ll back out again. so just ask him straight and tell him that you won’t stop him this time and see if that helps.

  6. Ashley says:

    What if his penis is malformed from years of over-masturbating?

    Juuuuust Kidding.

    But seriously, if he doesn’t give it up tonight, I would be over it. A girl has needs ya know!!!???

    You can be my boy friend and we can hang. Or you can be my boyfriend and we can do it. Pick one.

      • Ashley says:

        I’m just kidding. I mean, you have to laugh about the situation a little. However, I know you like him which is why it’s so frustrating. He seems to like you so I don’t get it. Seems like the moment has been there, albeit maybe you should actually talk about it if it continues. Hope you got lucky last night!

  7. Anna says:

    I think he’s just nervous because you pulled away. Maybe he thinks YOU’RE the virgin and that’s why you kept stopping. LOL imagine…

  8. Bailey says:

    I think you should talk to him and tell him why you wanted to wait. Then let him know you’re ready to move forward. He may think you’re just teasing him because every time he’s tried to have sex you pushed him away with no explanation. Maybe he’s scared of being rejected again…

  9. Julie says:

    I started reading your blog yesterday and I’m all caught up!I love it! I had seen it before in other blogs and decided to try it and you did not disappointed me! I like Brady for you. I think you both keep each other on your tipitoes and that’s awesome! Can’t wait to hear what happens with your plan!

    • Britney says:

      I just started reading yesterday too! I love Reese, she talks the same way I do and I am dying to find out what happened last night.

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