i think he’s gay.

When I walked into work on Monday morning, Leah was already there with Andrew. As you can imagine, I was in no mood to deal with him. We talked about business for the first hour or so then he asked how my weekend was. I told him it was fine.

Then he said, “How’s your man?”

Ew. I didn’t like the way he said “your man.” Regardless I wasn’t about to tell him that we broke up so I was like, “Oh he’s good!” super enthusiastically.

Andrew smiled. “Great! Glad to hear it!”

I feel like he’s just always fishing for information on my personal life.

Later on in the day, Leah, Andrew and I were standing behind the counter of the store all working on our respective paperwork when Leah said to me, “So did you call him?”

I was only half listening so I was like, “Who?”

“Your ex! Have you called him?”

That got my attention. I glanced at Andrew quickly to see if he heard. He wasn’t paying attention. 

“Shh,” I told her. “I don’t want Andrew to know we broke up.”

Leah gave me a weird look. “Okay… I already told him though.”

“What? Why?!” I exclaimed. Andrew looked over.

Leah shrugged and whispered, “He asked about my weekend and I told him. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was a secret.”

Ugh. So I don’t know if she told Andrew before or after he asked me about Brady, but he now knows that I lied, right? I’m glad he didn’t confront me about it and make it awkward.

Around lunch time I got a text from Carly that said, “Hey! Brady gave me your stuff to give you!”

I replied, “What?”

“Brady asked me to give you all your stuff you left over there…”

I was livid. Brady didn’t even have the balls to give me my shit back himself? What a puss. 

Andrew wanted to go to lunch and I don’t even remember what we talked about because I was so pissed. When we got back to the store, I locked myself in the bathroom and typed up a scathing message to Brady letting him know what a coward he is and how he was going to be single and lonely forever. And then I deleted it. It wasn’t even worth it.

When Carly dropped my things off later I made her explain to me exactly what happened.

“Well, as I was leaving last night, Brady stopped me and asked if I could take something to you,” Carly said.

“What were his exact words?” I wanted to know.

“‘I have some of Reese’s things. Would you mind giving them to her?'”

“Did you ask him why he couldn’t give them to me himself?”

“Noo, of course not, Reese. He’s just as fragile as you are. I said sure.”

“I’m not fragile,” I muttered.

“So he went in his room and brought out all your stuff. Look how nice he folded everything!”

She was right that he’d packed all my stuff really neatly in a Trader Joe’s bag. He fucking would. I seriously can’t believe he gave my stuff to Carly so he wouldn’t have to talk to me. Actually, yes I can. I hate him.

On Tuesday, Kyle texted me in the morning asking how I was doing which was really nice. We ended up texting all throughout the day and I was happy to have someone to complain to about work. He offered to give me a massage and I accepted so he came over that night. I wasn’t going to turn down a massage.

I poured myself a glass of wine and sat between Kyle’s legs on the couch while he rubbed my neck and shoulders. I was talking his ear off about everything from working out to my living room decor to the Patriots winning the Super Bowl. Clearly I don’t have anyone else to talk to.

Eventually he started going lower and massaged my back and subtly reached around and felt up my boobs. I let him and kept talking like nothing was happening. And then he started kissing my neck. And then he took off my shirt. I continued talking and sipping my wine. And then finally, Kyle took my glass of wine out of my hand, pushed me back on the couch and ran his tongue all over my chest and tummy. Then the only sounds coming out of my mouth were moans.

Sooo, yeah. I kind of hooked up with Kyle again. No tears this time. It was actually really nice and I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again (I won’t though). I still kicked him out afterwards.

I convinced Kendra to get drinks with me on Wednesday night. I hadn’t seen much of her since she and John got engaged. The first thing she asked about was Brady and even though I had a ton of questions for her, I did want to talk about Brady.

“I think he’s gay,” I said, eating a mozzarella stick.

“What?” Kendra exclaimed, almost laughing.

“It’ll explain a lot of things. He’s so clean. When I first went to his condo, I thought Chris was married and lived with a woman because it was so clean and well decorated. Nope, just Gay Brady putting his gay touch on everything.”

“Oh, Reese.”

“What? It’s true. And the fact that it took him so long to have sex with me. What straight guy would turn down pussy being thrown at him?”

“He’s just a gentleman. And he wanted more than just sex with you so he waited. I think that’s admirable.”

“And then, I think he has a crush on Chris. He told me that he doesn’t really need a roommate, but it’s nice having one. What straight guy in his late twenties wants a roommate? Gay.”

Kendra scrunched her nose up. “I don’t get that vibe. And Preston hasn’t mentioned anything. You know Preston can sniff a gay out from a mile away.”

Truthfully, I know Brady is not gay. I just wanted to talk shit about him. He did mention that he doesn’t charge Chris very much in rent and he enjoys having him around though.

“So, you’re getting married,” I said to change the subject.

“Yep. Haven’t set a date yet,” Kendra said while admiring her ring. John did really, really well with Kendra’s emerald cut Tacori ring. It’s huge and beautiful. I didn’t think John had that kind of taste.

“Why haven’t you asked me to be a bridesmaid?” I asked.

“We don’t know if we want to do a big wedding with bridesmaids and stuff. We were thinking a beach wedding in Hawaii with just our parents.”

I rolled my eyes. “Y’all are so boring and predictable.”

“Shut up, Reese,” Kendra said and she actually sounded serious. Touchy subject?

Anyway, I’m headed to Tennessee now for our big visit with the directors and presidents from New York. They are coming tomorrow (Friday) so we are going to be prepping pretty much all day. I hope it goes well/Andrew doesn’t make my life hell. Not counting on it though. Bye!

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26 thoughts on “i think he’s gay.

  1. Oh my goodness. When you first started hanging out with Brady and he was super timid, not forward, etc. I was like “dude is definitely gay.” Then when everything was good with you guys I totally dismissed it. Soo weird. It’s also awful that he’s such a wuss that he had to give your stuff to your friend, but it might be better off that way.

    Andrew is an asshole. I hate the way he pries into your personal life. Sucks that Leah blabs to him though.. something to definitely watch out for.

    Keep your head up, which you seem to obviously be doing very well already. I think you should keep Kyle around and give him a chance. You never know…

      • It’s not bad at all if that’s how you feel. You do you. Whether you never see him again, or consult with Carly (maybe??) about seeing him regularly, you’ve got to do what’s in your heart.

  2. I think it’s best that Brady just gave your stuff to Carly. It wouldn’t have gone well if you guys saw each other and maybe he just wasn’t ready to have you flip out on him. And since you are angry (as you should be) that’s what would have happened. Nothing productive would have come of it.
    Can we talk about Leah and how shenjust felt it was ok to tell Andrew your business?? Rude if you ask me.

  3. Luita says:

    I can totally see how that convo between Leah & Andrew went, he asked about her weekend and she told him about it without thinking. I don’t think she did it on purpose but I hope she learns to not do that again. Some people don’t know how to separate their personal & professionals lives.
    I see you are going through all the stages of grief, anger, depression, acceptance. Did you do denial & bargaining? It’s totally normal, they should add making rush decisions like sleeping with Kyle again. Hahaha hopefully things don’t get messy. Do you think brady could’ve seen the pix you posted and decided it was over for sure that’s why he sent your stuff with Carly?
    And what’s up with Carly? Her loyalty should be to you, not brady. He’s fragile??? What bs excuse is that? I would’ve said something but that’s because I’m Latina and we don’t hold back much haha.
    Good luck in Tennessee and don’t hesitate to put that manager on the spot if things are not right, she’s a reflection of you just as you are a reflection of Andrew.

    • i don’t know if brady saw that pic, but that thought definitely crossed my mind. like i thought he somehow found out and that explained why he did that. and carly feels bad for brady i guess (even though this is what he wanted) which is why i need to stop hooking up with kyle. if she finds out she will kill me!

  4. I totally saw the title of this post and thought it was going to be about Andrew, even though that doesn’t make too much sense.

    I’m still wondering if Chris is going to move out of Brady’s when he goes away for grad school. If Carly winds up being single, at least y’all can go out together.

    • KatyB says:

      I totally thought the same thing! Although I totally get why Reese bagged on Brady. Bummed he turned out to be a p**** too! There is someone great out there for you Reese! Who can handle your occasional crazy and is worthy of your love!

      Good luck with the jobby job this week! Andrew is an ass but you’ll figure out how to handle him soon! 🙂

    • lol the title applies to andrew too. i keep forgetting to ask carly about chris moving in may, but she hasn’t mentioned it at all so i feel like she doesn’t know?

  5. I’m fucking pissed that Brady gave your shit to Carly. He has to get in touch with you at some point, because if not I will seriously lose my shit. What a fucking asshole. Its weird though because Brady’s passiveness is kind of what I loved about him. But right now I hate it. And its really not fair that Carly said “hes just as fragile as you” because HE DUMPED YOU. like thats so annoying. My friends do the same shit. I feel like she shouldve been like “no sorry you can do that yourself.” Thats what I wouldve done!!! Ughhh

    • same here, I usually go after super alpha males who are aggressive and take charge so Brady was a different guy for me. now I see why I don’t do guys like him.

  6. Ashley says:

    Brady was always passive, which I thought was good. It evened the two of you out. Now, though, I can’t stand how passive he is being. If anything, it’s showing you what you need to know even if he can’t say it out loud again. He can’t be what you need right now. He’s not fighting for you. He’s not making any effort. He’s told you what you need to know by saying nothing at all.

    Now that you know, be the best Reese you can be. Words of advice: “Do your squats, eat your vegetables, wear red lipstick, and don’t let boys be mean to you,”

  7. Haley says:

    1. I don’t think the Kyle thing was the best idea. I 100% understand hooking up with someone to cleanse your palate, so to speak, after a long relationship… but your close friend’s brother? And not feeling bad that you’re going to keep it from her? To me, that shows that you know what you did was wrong and you did it anyway. Yea yea, he’s a grown man and he can do what he wants… but I think it’s just kind of fucked up to do something that you know would hurt a friend of yours and something she has repeatedly told you not to do because it would upset her and you do it anyway and don’t feel bad about keeping it from her. Idk, I think you should tell her.
    2. I agree with a previous poster who said how maybe Brady saw your picture with Kyle and he assumed you were done with him? He could’ve asked Carly to take your stuff immediately after y’all broke up if he was sure that was it, but he waited a while.
    3. You have a fairly aggressive personality I think (no shade, just an observation), so I used to feel like Brady balanced you out. He was sort of mellow and unreactive when you were the opposite. I know you guys broke up and all, but I’m not sure he deserves all this hate and anger from everyone; he seemed like a good boyfriend to me. Yea, he had his own issues, but I think everyone does. You, me, every guy, every girl. It’s up to you to pick and choose what issues you can put up with.. but to me, his issues pale in comparison to what your ex used to do and how he used to treat you. I felt like Brady was slowly working on himself (partly because he cared for you and you showed him he should try to change), but his work issues started making it difficult to focus on that. You can’t expect a change like that immediately.
    4. I’m not saying you should talk to Brady if you don’t want to. I just wanted to give you my honest opinion, which seems to differ from most people who comment. I liked Brady, and I still like him. Yes, the whole breakup was abrupt and sudden and hurtful… but I don’t think any breakup ends just because of one person. And I totally understand that everyone is trying to make you feel better (and I hope you do!), but I think I remember reading that you wrote this blog to learn more about yourself and your actions, and I wanted to give you my real feedback on this.

    • 1. yeah, I know it wasn’t the best idea and I feel bad about doing it and knowing that it was wrong. that’s why I don’t plan on doing it again. and this sounds like a bad excuse but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I don’t think Carly has any reason to know.

      2. good point that Brady may have seen the picture on Facebook before I deleted it and that definitely crossed my mind, but in my defense the picture wasn’t really that incriminating – it was just me and Kyle. I don’t see how that could make him assume I was done with him.

      3. this comment kind of makes it seem like I broke up with Brady. he broke up with me. I don’t think he was a bad boyfriend at all, I just think he’s handling this badly and immaturely and makes me see him as a different person now.

      4. thank you! I’ve decided not to talk to Brady right now because I don’t have anything nice to say and I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret. possibly in a couple of months.

  8. So Andrew asked Leah about her weekend and she blabbed about you and Brady? She could have just said that the two of you hung out and left it at that. Definitely be careful about being too open with her, especially if she’s going to tell your boss your personal information. I also think it’s really weird that Andrew is so interested in your relationship with Brady. And if he did already know that you two broke up, I think it’s really weird that he still chose to ask you how “your man” is doing. Sorry, but that is fucking creepy. lol

    I can understand why Brady wanted to give your things to Carly instead of give them to you himself. It’s probably too difficult for him to face you. We know that Brady sucks at communication and reaching out. In the beginning of your relationship you worked hard to get his attention and make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you, and finally, to date you. I have a feeling that he expected you to text him and/or to reach out to him first. Because some time has passed and you haven’t reached out to him, maybe he thinks it’s too late or that you hate him (he knows how sensitive you are). Or maybe he feels like he’s not good enough for you or who you want him to be. You have given him a hard time about certain things he’s done that you didn’t like. Maybe he feels he can’t live up to your expectations? Just a guess.

    It’s never too late. Who knows, maybe after a cooling off period you two can finally get a chance to talk things through. I know how painful break-ups can be. Hang in there! 🙂

  9. Sara says:

    I think you are right to let things be regarding Brady. I doubt the picture on FB had anything to do with it. You said he rarely reads his FB page anyway. I have read this blog pretty closely and I would characterize Brady as a very lonely, inward focused person with a fair amount of internal anger, which is why he broke things off so abruptly. He made some harsh comments about his folks that speaks to simmering anger that he buries pretty deep, except in unguarded moments. I also think his “starve the ego, feed the soul” tattoo is REALLY telling. He keeps things simple and when they get complicated, he purges. He said he went through a phase a few years ago and ditched a lot of friends because of his change of mindset. I think he is doing this now. And everyone keeps saying how passive he is, but really, when he WANTS to be assertive, he is. He broke up with you definitively, he even asked you out on his own terms. You reached out after the post July 4th run and got no response, but when he saw you later it was Brady who said he wanted to date you. Yes, he was drunk, but he still was direct. He has faced other guys down in bars who came up to you more than once with a “this is my woman” stance. I think he is more Alpha male in the true sense (Alphas do NOT have to be loud and domineering. They really don’t) than people in this forum have given him credit for.

    All this being said, I think his breaking up with you is total selfish bullshit. He went from telling you that you made him happy and asking you to move in (early January) to unceremoniously dumping you (mid Feb), so just over 5 weeks. If he was so unhappy, why didn’t he say something? Because he is closed off. He had an internal breakdown due to life stress, decided to purge his life and it was at your expense, Reese. He blindsided you rather than make an attempt to make things right between you. Not admirable, frankly. I mean, I have liked Brady based on your descriptions from minute one, and was all for your relationship, but he really fucked up here. Seriously. Whatever your relationship dynamic was, he acted cruelly. So whatevs. You deserve better than that. Maybe you two will speak again and you can decide how you want to behave if and when it happens, but you owe him nothing, nada, nil. Carly is right in that he likely is fragile, but it is of his own doing. Let him wallow in it, if that’s what he wants. You have bigger fish to fry. Onward and upwards, Reese! You will come out of this better and stronger.

  10. Dude that breakup was bullshit. Brady has some serious explaining to do, how can he talk about a future with you then just be like I’m not what you need right now. What a cop out! I wouldn’t be able to think straight!! Here I bought you Cartier see ya later? Makes me think that something happened how could he just “suddenly” feel this way? He feels guilty about something, why else wouldn’t he call or offer any explaination! Dude… I’m so pissed off for you!

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