For some reason, I missed Brady a ton over the weekend. I think I was overwhelmed with everything that was going on and I needed him to help me relax. He was always so optimistic. On Sunday I texted Carly saying, “I miss Brady. Can I call him?”
She replied, “No. You both probably need space.”
Which I thought was weird. Carly was one of the main people encouraging me to reach out to him. I wonder why she suddenly decided it wasn’t a good idea. Do you think he said something to her?
Diana agreed to meet me at 9:00 AM on Monday morning – as soon as she got to the office. I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but I knew I needed to talk to her, even if it was just for career advice like a lot of people suggested.
Being in my old building made me so nostalgic. I really, really miss my old job which is exactly what I was afraid of with taking the new job. I saw a couple of the people I used to work with on my way to Diana’s office and everyone wanted to talk and know how I’m doing and if I’m coming back. I feel like it’s so fake though because for the most part no one I used to work with has kept in contact with me. So whatever.
Diana hugged me which I thought was a good sign. Diana is definitely my favorite boss I’ve ever had, but she isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy.
“How are you, Reese? How’s the new job?” she asked, getting right into it.
“Um, it’s okay. Well, I don’t like it,” I said.
“Oh?” Diana looked surprised. “Why don’t you like it?”
“Well, I like it. I just don’t like my boss,” I corrected myself.
“Mmhm.” Diana sipped her tea. I miss drinking tea with Diana in her office. “What don’t you like about your boss?”
“He just isn’t motivational or inspirational. He doesn’t make me want to do my best or move up in the company. He’s actually pretty mean.”
“Mean?” Diana repeated, looking amused almost.
“Like, I’m afraid to ask him questions. I don’t like the way he talks to me.”
“Is he truly mean or are you just being a baby?”
I gasped, offended. “He’s mean! He’s so awful.” I had to be careful with my words here. “So I’m not sure what I should do.”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
“Talking to him about what?” The thought of talking to Andrew made my skin crawl.
“Your concerns. The fact that the way he speaks to you is discouraging. You should explain to him what he needs to do to help you do succeed.”
“Okay…” I remembered that Andrew asked me that flat out one day and instead of a real answer, I just sucked up.
“He will most likely appreciate your courage to speak up rather than silently resenting him. I would.”
I nodded.
“And after that, if he’s still disrespectful to you, I’d sit down and really weigh your options. You can’t work in an environment where you hate your boss.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“Do you want to come back here?”
It’s like she read my mind.
“I mean, I would love to. But I know it’s unlikely with Whitney and everything, right?” I said.
Diana nodded. “What, am I supposed to fire her because you suddenly decide you want to come back?”
“No.” When she put it that way, I did feel a bit ridiculous. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s…adjusting. It hasn’t been a smooth transition, but she’s getting there.”
I wanted to be like, “See, she sucks! Demote her and bring me back!” But that wouldn’t be right so I nodded.
“I’m not going to let you give up on your new position that easily. You talk to him – today – and see how the rest of the week plays out. Then we can sit back down and regroup. Okay?”
I liked the sound of that. At least she’s willing to try to help me. I stayed and talked to her a little while longer and I really loved catching up with her. She’s so pretentious, but somehow so humble lol I love it.
After I left there, I rushed to the store so I could get on my noon conference call with Andrew. The whole call I thought he was being kind of nicer and not putting me (or anyone) on the spot and making us feel dumb like he usually does. I figured maybe because it was Monday he wanted to take it easy on us.
But then right before he ended the call, Andrew said, “You guys, before we hang up, I just wanted to apologize if I’ve said or done anything that offended you. It is not my intention to make anyone offended or feel uncomfortable so I am sorry for that. Please don’t hesitate to tell me if I say or do something you think is inappropriate, I won’t know unless you guys tell me.”
We were all silent then Andrew thanked us for our time and we hung up. So I feel like someone must have called HR on him recently. Maybe Ty called them for me? But it sounds like he must have offended someone else too (probably prying into their personal life). I wonder if this is the final straw. Maybe HR told him that if he gets another call he will finally get fired. So he needs to go back and cover his ass.
So I don’t know. I really don’t want to talk to him, but I think Diana is right and that I should. Should I also bring up what happened last Thursday? Or are we pretending it didn’t happen? Or maybe he was so drunk that he doesn’t even remember?
Anyway, writing this stuff is actually really, really therapeutic for me, but I think I’m going to take a week or two away from the blog. I’ve really prided myself with being super consistent with my posts (right?) and I loved the fact that I never took a hiatus like other bloggers. But I just need to focus on work, finding somewhere to live and not thinking about Brady. Feel free to contact me on Twitter (Twitter.com/hotmessReese) or email me at hotmessinhighheels@gmail.com! I promise it won’t be long and I love you guys as always! ❤
hot mess in high heels. 
I really hope Andrew stops acting inappropriately instead of just thinking he pull that shit and then apologize, and then do it again. I was kind of surprised that you didn’t mention that to Diana, but I’m not sure I would have brought it up either.
Taking a break is definitely necessary sometimes. I’m also apt hunting right now and it’s stressing me out even though we’ve barely started looking. There aren’t enough hours in the day sometimes.
I thought about telling her, but she is friends with my mom and she and my mom talk about everything. I don’t want my parents to get involved. I don’t know what’s more stressful: finding a job of finding a place to live.
I’ve never been in your situation but I do have a manager who has put a few employees in tears, she likes challenging people in an awful way. She likes me and people who stand up to her, because she’s dumb its not difficult to outsmart her. I think you should talk to him but only on a professional basis. Like you spoke to Diana, tell him that you feel uncomfortable asking him questions and not too welcomed (since you’re new). See how he takes it, deff don’t bring up the drunken behaviour, its just going to dig the hole deeper
lol I don’t think Andrew will be easy to outsmart, but I think standing up to him is a good idea.
I totally agree that you need to take a blog break and focus on yourself for a week or so. I also love how Diana handled things with you. She’s exactly right, take a week or two to sort it through, don’t make a rash decision, and then figure out your options to move forward. You’re definitely going to land on your feet, Reese. You’re a strong, hard working, talented woman.
About Brady… my guess is he’s seeing someone and Carly didn’t want to tell you. Maybe not, but there’s something she’s not saying. I’d invite her out for apps and talk it out. Explain that you’ve tried to respect his space but you need to know where his head is at.
Love you girly, hope you get in a good head space over the next few weeks!
seriously?! “he’s seeing someone?” that was a fucking ridiculous comment to make.
Wow, that was a strong reaction. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a rebound. I think you’re a little mean.
Honestly, that was the first thing that came to my head too based off of Carly’s reaction.
really? 😦
I did… But like you said, he doesn’t know how to flirt so probably not the case. ☺
seeing someone? already? it hasn’t even been a month! who could he have found that fast? he doesn’t even know how to talk to girls or flirt!
You’re right, I don’t know, I’m probably wrong. My point was though, Carly changing her tune suddenly, saying you both need space after all you’ve done is give him space, is a red flag to me. I think there’s something she’s not saying.
yeah, I think there is something she isn’t saying too. I really hope he isn’t seeing someone. but he probably is, that or he told Carly he hates me and has no interest in talking to me. 😦
Or Carly found out about her brother!
I don’t think so. I just think if she did, she would have said something to me about it. maybe not. I don’t know.
I would be shocked if Brady was already seeing someone else. Look at how long it took him to even figure out you liked him when you were all but ripping his pants off. Plus, I don’t think Carly would gloss over it, she would probably tell you th truth, right?
Maybe Carly just tried to mention you to Brady and he shut down or something. Remember that she described him as “fragile” – hardly the word you use when someone is moving on with somebody else.
Hang in there! Good luck with the apartment/job drama!
lol I know right? and i hope Carly would tell me if Brady was seeing or talking to someone. or maybe she wouldn’t because I’m “fragile”
I didn’t call you mean or ridiculous. I said your comment was. Which it was. It’s not likely Reese needs more things to be stressed about. Your comment is nothing but an assumption and totally ridiculous to be making
Nooooo! Don’t take a break! This is my favorite blog! I stalk your blog all the time for new posts! Lol
In all seriousness, I hope you have a great couple of weeks away from us, and that you come back with all sorts of good news! ☺
hopefully! and I won’t be gone long, you won’t even notice!
I don’t think you should sweep the Andrew incident under the rug. Either have a one-to-one conversation with him or have the conversation with someone from HR present. You just need to state that you were not comfortable with what occurred and that you never want a repeat of it. Let him know what you do need from him in regards to being your boss and move forward. He’s a predator and predators need to know that you have your boundaries. You can also go to your HR department and talk to them about things, without getting specific, etc. and get advice as to handle it best.
Good luck with the next couple weeks. Everything is going to work out. I’m sorry it all is happening at once, but you’re strong! xoxo
I think talking to him with someone from hr present is a really good idea. that way he will know that I’m serious and not afraid to go for the big guns if necessary. lol.
Sometimes a break is needed, we’ve all been there when life gets to be too much. Good luck with the apt hunt!
Didn’t you sleep with her brother? Maybe she found out
how would she have found out? Preston knows not to tell her and her brother wouldn’t say anything.
I don’t know. But it could also explain her being weird… like maybe she’s mad. Just a thought I had
I am going to ask her if she’s mad at me today.
I also think he is seeing someone. It would explain why Carly suddenly doesn’t think you should call him and why he wanted to get rid of all your things from his room. He can’t bring a girl over with his ex’s stuff everywhere. Just my opinion.
Diana seems like a really great mentor and I think she’s gonna be a good person to rely on career wise. She offered some really sound advice in regards to Andrew.
Also, I’d def ask Carly what’s up… I agree that she’s keeping something… Not necessarily that he’s seeing someone, but something…
Have a great break from the blog. I hope everything works out for you and we’ll be waiting for you to come back! ❤
Diana is great!
I saw the title of your post and it almost gave me a heart attack hahaha #ImaLoser well played Reese!
I think a break will do you good, take some time to sort things out. You should start with the most important thing, put all your attention into finding a new place to live. After that if you still want out of your job start the job search. And getting over Brady will just come with time, when you least expect it, it won’t hurt so much to think about him.
I would talk to Carly and ask her why she’s changing her tune, maybe they got high together and he opened up.
The rational side of my brain says “forget about him, don’t even try to contact him”. But my romantic side says “what if he’s hurting as much as you are? What if he doesn’t know what to do either?” You know him better than anyone else here, don’t worry about what other people tell you, what feels right to you?
Good luck with everything. I know it’s hard, I’ve been there having to look for a new place with less than 30 days notice, but what came after that was so much better!
I started thinking like your romantic side and thinking that he probably misses me and doesn’t know what to do, how to approach me and everything but after Carly told me not to call him I think something is up.
Carly would tell you if he was dating, right? i think you have a right to know that.
I would hope so
Well good luck on the apt hunt. Def talk to him w/HR present so he cant try & be a douche & make it seem like you’re being too sensitive. As far as Brady is concerned maybe he finally found out what happened w/his brother & that girl? Maybe its family & work drama. He did hate his job so who knows whats going on there. Anyways cant wait for your return a little time away may be just what you need for now. We’ll be patiently waiting for your return!!
Omg. Super relevant story. So I know a former partner at a major consulting firm who was super similar to Andrew ( a total jerk to his teams and regularly had flings with BAs, the entry level after undergrad). He was fired a year after making partner and is now making like 30k a year rather than 500k and begging his former employees for job help.
Hang in there. I agree. Focus on apartment, then when the dust settles the job stuff. Like the HR idea and love Diana as a mentor.
Good luck!
Ugh you taking a hiatus is worse than my favorite show taking a hiatus!!! We get it though you need to focus. But we’ll all be here waiting for you to come back! Refreshing our phones daily! Love ya Reese enjoy your time off!
I look forward to your blog updates, so hearing that you want to take a (hopefully short) hiatus, made me a little sad. That said, selfishness aside, I agree that it’s a good idea for you to focus on your life right now and figure some things out.
As far as Brady goes, I don’t know that I believe he’s seeing someone — especially this soon. However, Carly may be privy to something Brady told Chris in confidence regarding his feelings about what happened, or maybe it’s because she knows he’s in bad shape and thinks if you tried to talk to him right now that it would go very badly for you both. If it were me, I’d be thinking the worst too, but I hope that the reason she said you shouldn’t call is nothing to worry about. Worst case scenarios would be that he is seeing someone or that someone spilled the beans about you and Carly’s brother – or saw the two of you together and said something to Brady. I do think that you do need to talk to him when you feel ready, though. Just make sure that it’s not a drunk dial lol. j/k It does say a lot that you’re willing to give in and be the first one to reach out. I think that he would actually appreciate that. That’s just my opinion. Something that has helped me in the past is to write an e-mail getting all my feelings out there, even if I don’t intend on sending it to that person. I can articulate my feelings a lot better when I write them down. If you decide to reach out to Brady, maybe start small like a short text message that says “I miss you.”
I’m glad that Andrew apologized for his behavior. I agree with what someone else suggested about talking to him with HR present. That way the conversation will stay appropriate and professional.
I’ll miss your posts! See you when you get back, Reese! *hugs*
I’m so surprised I have yet to drunk dial Brady! whoever thinks I’m not making progress is wrong!
I think you should directly ask Carly why she doesn’t think you should contact Brady; she has spent more time around him than your other friends and if there is something going on, knowing might help you move on from all this. And frankly, whatever may or may not be going on with him, if you feel like texting him that you miss him, then do it. Worst case, he tells you to leave him alone. If you do contact him, I would do so knowing that you might not get the response you would ideally hope for–in other words, hope for the best and expect the worst.
I would try to talk to Andrew as Diana recommended. If he has been ratted out to HR by someone else, he might become a non-issue. I still stand by my recommendation from the previous post that you keep a log of all of your contacts and communications with him–what he says, if he starts to cross the line somehow, with dates, places and times. Be VERY detailed and specific. This is your armor against him. In any case, you should keep in touch with Diana whether you go back to work for her or not. She sounds like an excellent contact to have.
Good luck on the job, the apartment hunt and the whole Brady deal. Given enough time things will sort themselves out one way or another.
I want to text him but keep psyching myself out, especially after Carly told me I shouldn’t. I don’t know what to think anymore. and I did take your advice and I have recorded some of the incidents I can remember just in case this somehow comes back on me (which I hope won’t happen).
I am glad to hear you are writing stuff down. I have had friends go through this kind of work crap and it helps, even if you don’t use it because it creates empowerment. And as to Brady, go with your gut, but you have been on the fence about contacting him for a couple weeks now, but keep coming back to it. Text him and see what happens. Like I said: worst case he flat out tells you no way. That may be something that would help you let go, BUT maybe he is too ashamed to reach out. His mood undoubtedly falls between the extremes of relief and regret, but you will never know unless you call. It will likely blow his mind in any case because he is not expecting it. (Nothing like the element of surprise…)
Talking to Andrew about how what motivates you and how you like to be managed. Tell him you were not happy with the way he treated you, but are willing to forget about the event. As others have suggested, use Diana as a mentor, it’s really useful to be able to discuss things and get a different prospective.
Good luck with the apartment search, don’t make a rash decision and find somewhere you like! Look forward to reading the next update on your return! Keep positive you’ll be fine!
Talk to Carly and find out why she all of a sudden has changed her mind about you contacting Brady. As someone else mentioned, it could be because he is still torn up about the break and maybe he said to her that it would be too hard talking to you right now. So def ask her what’s going on. I definitely think a little space is good for the two of you; that being said, I also think you deserve some answers from Brady. He has always struck me as an introvert (except when he is high) and maybe he found out bad news about his brother or parents and he would rather deal with it on his own rather than imposing on you (which is dumb because that’s what you do in relationships when you’re having issues). Or maybe Jessica has started making his life a living hell at work or has filed some type of complaint against him with HR since your Facebook messsage to her and he doesn’t know what to do. And based off of what I’ve read, it sounds like sometimes it could be a bit difficult having a serious conversation with you because you sometimes come off a little selfish. And I really don’t mean that in a harsh way, I was the same way with my ex and you have definitely matured and grown as a person since starting this blog. And once my ex had it stuck in his head that I was a certain way, he never believe I could be any different and Brady may be feeling the same way with you because of past behavior.
I really don’t think he is seeing anyone else. Look how long it took him to ask you out and then for you guys to have sex. He just doesn’t strike me as a guy that goes out and has random hook ups or that would rebound that fast with someone else. Especially because it’s obvious how much he loves you based off what you write. Once you talk to Carly and find out her reasoning, then you should make the choice on wether to call him or not. If it were me in your shoes, I would probably just go to his house without warning. That way he can’t just ignore your phone call/text and just never respond. If you go to his place, he would probably not turn you away. It’s better to have these kind of talks in person. Well, now that I’ve written a novel, I hope you enjoy your break and I look forward to reading your next post when you’re ready!
💖 Ashley💖
Diana sounds like a great mentor and role model. I’m glad she listened to you and provided some grounded advice. It’s also great that there may be an opportunity for you at your old job back (bright side!).
The current situation at your current job is a bit tricky and you should definitely sit back and think about what may be the best decision for you to make though I know it must be challenging.
I also think you and Brady should sit down at one point (don’t know when–maybe after you get some of your other affairs sorted out–he’s probably doing the same) and discuss how things ended–it was very abrupt.
Good luck with your search for a new home and take as much time as you need to process everything that’s happening.
-Violeta
Don’t stay away too long! Love your blog and adventures! 🙂 Enjoy a spa day to clear that mind and relax the body!
I keep checking back to see if the break is over yet! Miss your posts – hope things are getting better for you!