The first person I saw when I walked into the office on Monday morning was a tall, big shouldered guy with the kind of cheekbones I try to contour into my face with makeup and eyebrows I would kill for. He broke into a sexy smile when he saw me.
“Are you Reese? I’m Luke. We’re going to be working really closely together,” he said. He had a deeper voice than I was expecting. He had longish highlighted hair that was perfectly falling in his face. He was very masculine, but something about how well put together he was made me question his sexuality.
Diana didn’t make any mention of anyone I was working with so I was confused. “Okay. What’s your position?”
My look and tone must have been bitchy because Luke kind of winced then threw his shoulders back defensively. “Creative director.”
Diana definitely didn’t tell me there was going to be a new person with a director level position. I know I’m a brat, but I wanted to be in charge. So I just said, “K. We’ll talk later,” and went to find Diana in her office.
“Hi! I just met Luke,” I said, sitting down.
“He’s going to be great! I think you guys will get along wonderfully!” Diana enthused.
“What’s he going to be doing?”
“He’s going to be in charge of the creative side. So while you’re making sure everything is being put into action, he’s going to be designing it. So you’ll be the main one coming up with concepts, he will make them come to life. He’s going to be your little assistant,” Diana said.
“So he’s not the ‘creative director’?” I clarified.
“‘Creative team lead,'” she said.
Ha! So he wasn’t a director. I couldn’t wait to confront him about it later. Which was later that morning after the staff meeting. There’s a new “product development suite” with my new office, a design room (that is honestly jankity), an open space of cubicles, and a conference room for design meetings with the team. My first order of business is turning that design room into a more inspiring space.
I was walking through taking before pictures when Luke walked in. He walked past me and started flipping through a notebook and I guess he was still mad about our first encounter that morning.
“So when did you start?” I asked, trying to start over.
“Last week,” Luke replied, not looking up at me.
“Where did you come from?” I pried.
“Milwaukee.”
Okay, cool. Great talk. I continued taking pictures and talking to Luke and he finally kind of started to open up. I was still thinking about what happened with Matt so I blabbed all of this to Luke. Then I asked if he was seeing anyone.
“Well, I’m gay,” he said back and I realized that he probably thought I was making a pass at him. I was mortified. But at least I know for sure he’s gay now. I think Preston will love him. He’s way more manly than the guys Preston usually goes for.
I didn’t hear from Matt until Tuesday morning. I was feeling guilty about the whole thing though so I came clean to Brady about it. I told him about meeting Matt on the plane, exchanging numbers, the pub crawl and Matt squeezing my ass and giving me $200.
“Why did you even go if you knew he was interested in you?” Brady asked, looking confused, but not mad.
“Well, that’s the thing. I didn’t know he was interested in me in that way,” I said.
“Reese, you’re not an idiot. You knew what his intentions were,” Brady said and looked back down at his laptop basically dismissing me.
“Uh, no I didn’t. He didn’t act interested in me until Friday night. Am I supposed to just assume every guy wants to fuck me?”
“Stop acting like a dumbass.” He gave me a mean look and my mouth dropped open because that was rude. I slid off the table I was sitting on and stomped to Brady’s room.
I got in bed and waited for an hour for him to join me. When Brady walked in, I glared at him and didn’t say anything. He got undressed and got in bed.
“What are you doing?” he asked, snuggling next to me.
“Acting like a dumbass,” I said.
It’s like Brady was waiting for me to say something like that because he started yelling.
“You allowed a man to grab your ass and kiss all over you! Why else would he ask for your number, Reese? Do you think he really wanted to talk stocks with you? You don’t know anything about that stuff! Why are we even having this conversation? You should know better.” He turned away from me.
I felt bad. Brady hardly ever yells at me. And he was right. I hate being yelled at and usually get really defensive, but I knew this was on me.
I leaned over him and kissed him and he kissed me back. I said, “Sorry. Are you mad?”
“No. Just don’t do it again,” he said.
I promised I wouldn’t and I know that I can’t do that to Brady again. So when Matt texted me, “Miami next weekend?” on Tuesday, I texted back, “Can my boyfriend come?”
Matt didn’t text me back, but called me around lunchtime. I didn’t answer. That afternoon he texted asking for my birthday. Meaning he was probably trying to buy a plane ticket for me. So I didn’t respond.
My dad was in Chicago for work on Wednesday. We made plans to get lunch like we always do when he comes to town and I invited Brady even though I knew he would be busy with work. To my surprise though, Brady asked where we were going and what time and then said he could probably make it. Yay!
We went to this Mediterranean restaurant that my dad loves and ordered crostinis, scallops, and tartare. My dad asked me about my new job and Brady about his. Then he said, “Your mother has been staying with your grandma for the past month.”
“Huh?” I said back, confused.
“She can stay there until she gets her act together. You know, she charged $18,000 for-”
“Daddy, you can tell me about it later,” I said quickly. I didn’t need Brady knowing about our ridiculous family issues.
“I’m not going to put up with this any longer, Reese. Make sure she knows that.”
I feel like if Brady and I get married it’ll be like my parents’ relationship. I’m going to shop and spend money and Brady is going to passive aggressively send messages through our kids. I can already see it happening.
Not even an hour after I got back to the office, my mom called me.
“Hi Mom,” I answered.
“So Brady can find time to have lunch with your dad, but not me?” she greeted me.
“Mooooom,” I groaned.
“I don’t appreciate you two ganging up on me,” she sniffled.
“We aren’t ganging up on you.”
My mom is so dramatic.
“Then why did you take Brady to lunch?”
“We were fighting when you were here, Mom!” I practically screamed.
She didn’t say anything.
“Dad’s pissed at you,” I said.
“And I’m pissed at him. Don’t take his side Reese, you don’t know what happened.”
My parents are so childish. And I think it’s incredibly inconsiderate of them to try to involve me in their fights and make me pick sides. So I told my mom I had a meeting to go to and hung up.
She called back later on in the afternoon to apologize and to ask what my dad told me. I was like, “I’m not getting involved. Call him and ask him.”
I went to Brady’s that night after happy hour with Kendra and John. He was working and I let him for a little while before I started being annoying.
“How do you know you’re not gay?” I asked.
“What?” he said back, barely looking up at me.
“How do you know you’re not gay?” I repeated.
“Because I’m not…”
“But how do you knowwwww?”
“Reese.”
“What? How can you be sure?”
“Because I’m not attracted to men.”
“How do you know? Have you thought about it?” I leaned in close. This was getting interesting.
“No!” Brady exclaimed. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Has anyone thought you were gay? Has a man ever hit on you?”
“No.”
“Could you imagine yourself sucking a dick?”
“Are you just trying to piss me off? No!”
I could tell Brady was getting irritated with me, but I couldn’t stop.
“No, I’m just wondering. How can you know if you don’t like something if you haven’t tried it?”
“I’m not talking about this anymore. You’re being ridiculous,” he said.
I left him alone until later on when he came in his room to get ready for bed.
“Are you moving away?” I asked.
“What? No,” Brady replied.
“You said your mom had a job opening for you. Are you going for it?” I elaborated.
“Oh. No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m okay here. My job is fine and I don’t want to sell my place. I need to be far away from my parents too.”
“Why?” I agree with him on the parents thing because mine are obviously insane, but I wanted him to say it in his own words.
“I don’t like being around them. Reese, you know this,” Brady sighed.
“But when I first met you, you said you were considering moving back home,” I pointed out.
“I was considering moving to the east coast, not back home to be near my parents,” he explained.
“Oh east coast… Like New York City? Where your ex lives?” My face lit up with excitement.
“What? No!” Brady was sounding frustrated again. “Why are you interrogating me?”
“Whattttt? You’re never open with me,” I pouted.
We were both quiet as Brady walked to the edge of the bed. “Okay, what else do you want to know?”
“I feel like your relationship with your parents has gotten a lot worse the past couple of months. Did something happen?” I asked.
“No,” Brady said automatically.
Then I had a realization. “Is it because of me?” It would make sense. I’d overheard Brady’s mom saying she didn’t like someone (probably me) in November and she said I was controlling because Brady was spending Christmas with me. Since then he hasn’t had anything nice to say about them (his conversation with Brittany, him telling me he would be okay with never speaking to them again, etc) and he hasn’t gone to visit them.
“Of course not.”
“Are you sure?” I didn’t believe him.
“I’m sure. It has nothing to do with you. We’ve never had a good relationship,” Brady said. I’m not sure why, but my chest started to feel heavy.
“I know you don’t like talking about them, but can you tell me about it one day?” I asked.
Brady finally got in bed next to me. “Mmhm.”
And then he kissed me and we hooked up so we didn’t have to talk about his parents anymore. So 1. He’s obviously not gay. And 2. I really wish I could get him to open up to me about his parents. Because right now, I feel like he’s being irrational. Yeah his parents are super republican and stuff, but it’s like, they’re still his parents. What if something happens to them? Won’t he feel guilty for hating them? I just want to shake some sense into him.
hot mess in high heels. 
You’re kind of a crazy person
well, yeah.
While I commend you on trying to get Brady to open up, your timing was all wrong. It’s like trying to talk to a guy while a game is on, you don’t have their full attention and really they want you to be quiet. These are the kinds of things you should talk about on Saturday morning while lying in bed or late night before bed (if you’re sober).
One thing I’ve wanted to tell you, I may have already, but my husband always told me that a drunk guys words are a sober mans thoughts. So when Brady is being drunk and super cute, enjoy it and know that it’s probably true and he’s just afraid to say it.
okay now I feel bad. should I not ask questions? what should I do?
Ask questions, just not when he’s working.
Is there a specific reason you want to know more about his parents? Getting him to open up will be a long process, take some baby steps. Stick to stuff between you and him or him and his job before you delve much more into the parents. I would bet you his issues with opening up are a direct result of being raised by them.
he actually wasn’t working, but I get what you’re saying. I just don’t understand why he suddenly hates them way more than before, that’s all.
I just don’t really understand why you were trying to hide your parents’ issues from Brody but trying to get him to open up about his parents. Maybe if you open up to him, he’ll open up to you.
I disagree. Her parents issues are between them as a couple. Reese could decide to share with Brady if she’s comfortable, I think Brady’s situation is different because she’s trying to get him to open up about the issues affecting his relationship with his parents, not necessarily his parents marital issues.
maybe but like Y said, my parents issues are between them and have nothing to do with us or our relationship.
So much is wrong with this. I was so happy when you and Brady got back together and I assumed you’d at least TRY to change a little. But come on girl. Really? This is the beginning of the actual end for you two.
you’re being dramatic.
Umm. I’m lost. Care to elaborate. I’m not sure where you’re coming from
Me neither! I thought it was super sweet how Reese asked him to tell her about it one day. Shows she cares, and stopped pushing right at the right time.
I can see a big difference this time around with you Reese! You’re trying so hard, but not forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. i.e. you still get whiny with him, but not mean and out of control. And that’s a good thing! I think Brady likes the needy (in a good way) Reese. It’s cute. Have a great weekend!
aww. thanks 🙂
maybe I was little TOO annoying. I wouldn’t be surprised
You are so funny Reese! I can’t believe you asked him how he knew he wasn’t gay!!! Hahaha I love that you are asking more questions though, and not letting him off the hook with short answers. Good job!
Good job on finally letting Matt know you have a bf, persistent guy though still wanting to know your bday, hahaha
Is Whitney still at the office? I guess you don’t have to work with her anymore, right? Must be nice.
lol. i think it’s a valid question! Whitney is still around. I haven’t gotten a chance to actually talk to her besides hi and goodbye – luckily!
Hi Reese,
So glad the Matt guilt is off your chest. But I think it really irritated Brady though.
You and him talking is really good though, maybe not the exact way you did it but at least you are opening up more and trying to get more of him. Having said that know when and how to get him to open up, he seems like such an introvert that I am sure it takes time.
Please note really really happy for you for both your work and personal life. As it gets better and better
what should I have done instead?
Well he seems to need ease. When you ask him headstrong sounds like he got super defensive. Maybe next time ask him “softly” where he doesn’t feel cornered or overwhelmed.
It’s just a suggestion. But you know your man
I’ll try but I literally don’t think I can be soft and gentle lol
First the new guy at work. You’re so damn pretentious it’s ridiculous. Getting upset because you didn’t know about him and then getting happy when you find out he isn’t a director? Get over yourself. Then you really showed how professional you are spilling your personal business to him. Work is work not a therapy session for you.
Second Brady is absolutely right. You can lie to him and pretend like you didn’t know matts intentions but you did. Telling him to make yourself feel less guilty is really selfish. Then telling him when he’s working? Didn’t you agree to be supportive of him when he’s working from home and not be so needy months ago? Then you storming off because he reacted like a normal human being? You’re not the only one entitled to your feelings. Brady had every right to feel how he does and say what he did. If the tables were turned you’d react a lot worse. You could’ve told Matt from jump you had a boyfriend that would have showed how you changed but didn’t. Don’t get so snippy with him now because you chose to not be upfront.
I don’t see any change in you. Honestly badgering Brady while he’s working with stupid questions and you keep going. Brady doesn’t have to tell you anything about his family. You’re so same entitled. You don’t want him knowing about your family drama but you’re on his ass about his family. Maybe if you were more understanding and not nagging him with your questions he’d open up to you. I feel that everything has to be about you and that’s not a good way to live life. Whether you are the director at work or have an equal shouldn’t matter or upset you. Learn to coexist.
just admit that you don’t like my personality and be done with it. you criticize everything I do no matter what. this is just who I am. I can only change so much.
I don’t know about you (obviously) but when I don’t like someone I stay away from them specially when I don’t HAVE TO be social with them. It seems like you don’t like Reese, for your own peace of mind why don’t you just stay away from her blog? Reese has never claimed to be perfect, she writes the blog to help herself and there’s one thing if you want to give constractive criticism, but to be so negative about everything that she does? Come on.
I would like to hear about your life because it seems like it’s perfect and you would have the perfect relationship and never make mistakes.
While I might not agree with everything that Lucia said, I think that we learn more from our harshest critics than those that agree with all of our choices. How will any of us grow if we never face criticism or failure? I don’t think any of us have the right to tell someone to stop reading because they don’t share the same opinion. Reese is a big girl and doesn’t need anyone defending her, she can do that on her own.
I’ve been married for a year now and I think that I might be able to maybe speak from experience. We all have stress in our lives. You do and of course Brady does. He seems overwhelmed with his job and you should be a little more understanding. Maybe hold off on asking him tons of questions until he is relaxed? No one wants to deal with that especially after a draining day. I think your timing was off telling him about Matt when he was trying to work from home. I suggest waiting to until both of you are in the right state of mind and not preoccupied with work or anything else pressing. That’s my two cents.
that’s kind of hard when all he ever does is work. I’m going to confront him about it.
Lizzie you do realize we are not really a part of Reese’s life, right? It’s not up to us to help her grow us a person by criticizing her. Just saying….
Your comment was more constructive than Lucia’s though so I’ll give you that (I’m so giving today haha).
I just don’t understand why people continue to follow the blog and comment just to criticize and be mean! Do they have nothing better to do with their lives? Life is too short to just be mean all the time.
I know Reese is a big girl and can defend herself, but I’m feeling feisty today so why not irritate the internet trolls 😜
lol thank you luita! you’re always so sweet and supportive. ❤
Yeah this was weird. You’re mean all the time. Stop reading if she’s bugging you sooooo much. Why waste your time and energy being so mean? You’re not even trying to be constructive.
You don’t approve of any single thing that Reese says or does, so why do you keep coming back? Probably says more about yourself actually…
Doing a great job, Reese!!!
Why will you confront him about working all the time? That’s his career, what he’s worked very hard for. Some people have to work a lot. Not everything is about what he can give you. If you want a guy who can be at your beck and call every second, find someone else. although poor brady does a great job of really trying to give you everything you need. If you don’t try and see where he’s coming from, this won’t work. And I wasn’t being dramatic above…you said you were being annoying on purpose… he even yelled at you. These are all the things that will lead up to you guys splitting up again. You cant expect him to be with you every second when he’s super serious about his job.
I understand what you’re saying but here’s why I disagree: we aren’t together every second and we don’t even hang out every day. so when he invites me over to hang out I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I have his undivided attention. he’s constantly working when I come over so I think he should be able to tear himself away for a few hours for me. reasonable?
Yikes! Lots of snark in the comments already.
I think my only “advice” is to make nice with Luke, since you two are going to be working together. It sounds a bit like you might have gotten off on the wrong foot. He might end up being really great to work with.
Good on you for telling Brady you are there for him when he is ready to open up about his folks. I wonder, too, if this has to do with Hunter not talking to him. Weird, since Hunter doesn’t like the parents, either. Very mysterious. Still, seems like the wise choice is to not push too hard for answers. And the whole is Brady gay thing? Hilarious. I got the joke anyway.
Sorry about your folks. Mine split up when I was 24 (not that yours will) and the only way I stayed sane was to tell them to leave me out of all of their shit, so good for you for standing up to both of yours and not taking sides.
Everyone keeps harping on the Matt thing. You told Brady about Matt and Matt about Brady. It’s officially a dead issue.
yeah, luke and I are actually getting along now. we had a Britney Spears dance party today lol. I think I’m going to love working with him. I don’t know what’s going on with his parents and hunter but I wish he felt like he could tell me. it’s really hard not being someone people want to talk to. especially my boyfriend.
You made a good start by saying you were there for Brady if he wanted to talk. Baby steps for him and he will eventually open up. I suspect he has been pretty closed for a long time.
It feels like you’re trying to push Brady away. I feel like things are already slipping back to how they were before. 😦 Do you want this to actually work?
I do want it work. I’m not trying to push him away. I’ll try harder. 😦
So I honestly just stumbled upon your blog maybe Wednesday? And I read non stop for 24 hours (no joke. I have no life outside of work) and I just have to say, I admire the way you’ve put yourself out there trying to change your relationship for the better. I also admire how you didn’t let anything bring you down with your old job, and eventually you found your way back to where you belong. With your old job but doing something different.
It was pretty awesome reading and seeing you become such a dynamic person. You’ve grown up a lot since you started this blog. There are moments I cringe because of how you do come across to the people you love the most, but you’re working on it! Forget the bitches above that only want to bitches above that only want to critize you and bring you down. There really is only so much you can change about yourself, You’re personality isn’t one of those. Anyways I absolutely adore you’re blog. ❤
aww thank you so much! best comment ever ❤
Seriously– I DIED at the 20 “how do you know you aren’t gay?” questions. Your life is hilarious! I am excited to hear how you new position goes also. I think you and B need a weekend getaway soon without technology, share stories of growing up and see if he opens up more on the parental issues. xo.
lol I don’t think he was as amused as you. and that’s such a good idea. currently planning a trip instead of working, oops.
Reading this blog from the beginning in one day was way more fun then studying for finals (might fail bio now lol)! You’ve got a new fan in me 🙂
I like the sound of Luke, would love a fit gay best friend.
I kind of agree you came a bit too strong with Brody, but I understand you’re trying to make it work. X
http://www.elinainlondon.com
“He was working and I let him for a little while before I started being annoying.” hahaha god I love your blog, you are so funny.
PS i’ve been meaning to ask, have you read White Girl Problems? You and your writing remind me soo much of it!
omg yes! I loved white girl problems. I feel like it’s the story of my life.