i want to hack into his account.

So Diana was right: I love Luke. I feel bad that we got off on the wrong foot because I think we are going to be best friends. We hung out on the floor of the design room on Thursday and he told me his life story and how he came out to his family. His mom was one of the mom’s who said, “I know,” when he told her he was gay. Preston’s parents said the same thing. He loves Britney Spears (I’m not sure how or why) and I like some of her old stuff so we danced to old school Britney in my office on Thursday afternoon. Afterwards, Luke was like, “You were so intimidating at first. I thought you were going to bite my head off.”

“What? Me?” I said, pretending I’ve never had anyone say that to me before.

“I was just wondering how this little girl can give such deadly looks.”

“That’s just my face,” I explained.

I told Luke that I have a blog. He’s the only person I’ve ever told and I don’t think he would judge.

I spent the night with Brady on Thursday and I didn’t plan on going into the office on Friday so I slept in a little bit. I insisted Brady call and tell his boss he would be late so we could sleep in and have sex and I could make him an amazing breakfast. I’m super surprised, but he did it and it took minimal coaxing. He finally left for work at like 11:30 AM. I told Brady that I wanted to go run some errands, but since Chris was out of town, I wouldn’t have a way to get back in. I suggested just borrowing Brady’s keys since he would be working, but he said I could use the spare set. So now I have keys to Brady’s place since he hasn’t asked for them back. Finally. Totally gonna pop in at random to make sure he isn’t doing anything sketchy.


So I got up and got ready to go get my nails done. I brought my laptop to the nail salon so I could work while getting my pedicure. Best idea I’ve had in a long time. I got a lot of work done and then I took a break to get on Facebook. I happened to end up on Brady’s page (okay, I searched him) just to see if there were any new updates. I never paid attention to our mutual friends before (we don’t have a ton) but I happened to glance at them and saw a profile picture of a girl with dark hair wearing a bikini. It was my friend from home, Brittany. Ew. I didn’t even know they were Facebook friends and I definitely don’t see why they should be. I want to hack into his account and delete/block her.

I realized that I RSVP’d to a friend from college’s wedding in Dallas on May 16th. I completely forgot about it and hadn’t even gotten a plane ticket. The bride was one of my close friends and we were even closer because our boyfriends were teammates. So I’m about 90% sure my ex is going to be there especially since he’s from Dallas too. At first I couldn’t decide if I wanted to invite Brady or not, but then I realized that I need everyone from college to know that I’m not still hung up on that loser. Plus Brady is hot so.

The weather was really nice on Saturday and one of Brady’s friends invited us out on his boat. I was a little skeptical because the last time I was on a boat I got sick. It turned out to be fine though. I felt so New England. His friends were talking about remodeling their homes and going to gender reveal parties and graduating from B school. Meanwhile I was wondering where the tequila was. Hopefully I’ll grow up soon.

That night Brady and Chris had people over because there was a boxing match on. Apparently it was a big deal, but I had no idea about it until Chris mentioned it. I was like, “Whatever. As long as there’s alcohol.” It was really annoying because people were like really into the fight. I thought it was just an excuse to drink. Plus Brady and some of the other people kept going outside to smoke during the commercial breaks. It was just really lame and I wanted everyone to leave. I didn’t want to seem antisocial and leave so I just sat there not socializing.

I didn’t want to get out of Brady’s bed on Sunday so I laid there while he went for a run, cleaned, showered and picked up Thai food for dunch.

“Get in bed with me!” I whined.

So he did and we ate our food in bed. Brady said something along the lines of, “I don’t understand how you don’t have bed sores by now,” which I thought was kind of shady, but also made me realize how lazy I was being. Oh well.

I mentioned the wedding and asked if he wanted to come.

“Maybe. I’ll need to look at my schedule,” Brady said.

“I already bought our plane tickets,” I lied. I really just wanted him to agree to go with me.

“Okay, I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?” he said.

“Not really. Thanks boo!” I leaned over and kissed him then pulled out my phone to actually look at flights.

“I feel like I’m going to be the last of my friends to get married. If I ever get married,” I said after I found the flight I wanted.

“Why do you feel like that?” Brady asked.

“Because I’m like crazy. Don’t act like you don’t agree,” I answered.

“Not crazy. You’re fun and wild. But I love that about you.”

*big smiling emoji face* Does anyone remember when Brady called me laidback when we first met? I wonder at what point did he realize how wrong he was?

“But too crazy to marry, right?” I said.

“Noo….” Brady dragged the word on like he was uncertain. Almost like it was a question. “I would love to marry you Reese, but there’s a lot we would need to work on.”

“Really? Like?” I obviously know the main ones: communicating, my jealousy, probably my partying, spending habits, etc, but I was curious to know Brady’s view of things.

“Well any relationship, particularly a marriage, requires compromise. Sometimes I don’t feel like you’re willing to compromise,” he said.

Whoa whoa whoa. Way to call me out. And I felt like I was great at compromising so I was confused.

“How? Like when?” I asked, trying not to sound defensive.

Brady laughed kind of nervously and didn’t answer me. I blinked at him, waiting.

“For example, last time we went out to dinner I told you that I wasn’t in the mood for Mexican, but you were so that’s what we had to get…”

I thought back to Thursday night when we went to a Mexican restaurant for mahi-mahi tacos and margaritas. Brady didn’t seem enthused about it, but I can’t remember him explicitly saying he didn’t want Mexican. Looking back, I don’t think he ate much (even though those tacos were bomb). I felt awful.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I’m not telling you this so you’ll apologize.”

“I know, but I feel really bad now. Do you think I’m controlling too?”

“Uh, maybe a bit. You’re pretty bossy. I don’t mind-”

“Oh my gosh, why do you put up with me?” I was replaying every moment of our relationship at this point.

“Because you put up with me.”

I was still thinking about all the non-compromising and controlling things I’ve done.

“There are things we both have to work on together. I’m not pointing my finger at you.”

Like all the times he wanted me to go running with him to keep him company, but I whined until he said nevermind. Brady goes shopping with me every time I ask with no hesitation.

“It’ll take time, but I’m willing to work on it if you are.”

I looked at Brady and smiled. “You’re sweet.”

I do this thing where I ask Brady the same three questions everyday. “Do you love me?” “Do you miss me?” and “Do you think I’m pretty?” It definitely started off as me fishing for compliments, but now it’s just our thing.

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” Brady said and I knew what he meant even though I didn’t actually ask.

I was about to say, “Tell your mom we are back together,” but realized how bossy that sounded so I said, “Maybe you should tell your mom we are back together.”

“Oh. Why does it matter?” Brady got up and started cleaning up our Thai food mess and I felt the entire mood change. I think he wanted to have a distraction so he didn’t have to talk about his mom with me.

“So she can invite us places. I’m sad we missed Florida,” I said.

“We can go places on our own.”

“Okay.” I could sense he wasn’t feeling the direction the conversation was going so I added, “I’m going to plan a weekend getaway for us.”

“Sounds good. Just let me know.” And Brady left to take our trash out. I wish we had more moments like that and I wish I hadn’t ruined it.

I went home on Sunday night so I could do laundry and wash my hair and stuff. I’m trying not to keep a ton of stuff at Brady’s at this point. That just seems needy. Plus I keep thinking about that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie purposely left things at Big’s place and he gave it back. The horror. Brady wouldn’t do that (not directly to me anyway), but still.

When I woke up this morning, I had a text from Brady from earlier. It said, “I don’t like when you’re not here when I wake up.”

Ugh. We are so sweet to each other now I can’t even handle it. I love it though. Maybe we needed that break to realize how much we mean to each other. Brb, barfing.

Oh get this: the other night I had a really vivid sexual dream about that guy Trevor I wrote about from high school. Maybe writing about him and thinking about him (he was hung like a horse) put me in some sort of mood. When I woke up I wanted to get on Facebook and message him my number. Obviously I didn’t and just woke Brady up to hook up, but is that normal?


16 thoughts on “i want to hack into his account.

  1. Kristin says:

    From what I know, I think the break did some good for both of you. Look at the conversation you had, you guys never spoke about that stuff before. I like that he acknowledged that you both have things to work on. Some of your traits will never change, they’re part of who you are, but being aware of those things and how they affect him are what you have to learn.
    Don’t stress about facebook, it’s really not something anyone should let affect their relationship. 99% chance that Brittany friend requested him and he felt it would be rude to ignore it. Just like you’re bossy, Brady is nice to everyone.
    In my experience, sex dreams about other people are totally normal. However, if Brady ever catches you having one, it was totally about him.

      • Sara says:

        She is thirstier than a camel in the Sahara desert. He wouldn’t do anything, but her behavior makes you uncomfortable, so the less seen of her the better, I think.

  2. Danielle says:

    Adorable. I like that you guys are starting to talk about/work through your issues. I’m sure you can work them out if you’re more mindful of him and such. But you’ve clearly already thought about it anyways.
    I’m glad you finally have a co-worker that you actually like and who seems chill. Whitney and Andrew and even BJ all sucked.
    Also, I wanna say that’s normal because it’s def happened to me too. lol

  3. Luita says:

    I love that he recognizes that you put up with him also. We are all imperfect and you can love someone and also get annoyed by their quirks, that’s ok. We all have things we need to work on, the important thing is that we recognize that and try to improve. And it seems like he wants to work on things with you, I love you & Brady together, I’m rooting for you guys! 💘
    You are getting better at communicating Reese. And I really don’t care what others say, I see you growing up.
    And really i can say that all I want and you do with it what you want because what matters the most is what Brady thinks of you not some strangers online that only get one side of your life.

    • Luita says:

      PS I had a dream about an ex too, he’s married now and I dreamed he came looking for me at 2am and wanted to leave his wife. Of course I woke up wanting to know about him, looked him up on Facebook but didn’t find him, which is probably good since he’s married. I think it’s totally normal that you wanted to reach out to him, but it’s great you didn’t.

  4. megg says:

    This made my heart so happy! Brady is opening up and talking about things with you. He really seems to be valuing time with you and making effort. It was missing before and resulted in a bit of craziness in your part (I’m the same way). You’re doing well too…you didn’t freak out, you took what he was saying and recognized areas you can improve and that is amazing! I love seeing this all unfold with you and Brady💚 Don’t get hung up on his mom/family. I come from a family who I love dearly, but we have such different viewpoints on a lot of things. I’ve found it’s easiest to not always keep them updated on my life: who I’m dating etc. they don’t understand boundaries, they want to insert their biased opinions, and quite frankly it fucks with my head. So I keep them at a distance. I can see Brady’s need for that with his family. It’s a hard balance to find. Just be supportive of him and continue to help him develop a meaningful relationship with you.

    • I totally agree about the family thing, I think I just feel really uncertain about how his mom feels about me and its fucking with MY head. I just need to let it go and see what happens.

      • megg says:

        Totally get that. I would be surprised if someone like her would ever give validation. The important thing to remember is you don’t need it. You’re amazing and Brady is lucky to have you and visa versa. Hold on to your power, don’t give an ounce of it to his parents.

  5. J says:

    I love how Brady responded to your questions. And him saying “because you put up with me” was sweet and shows mutual respect. It’s great that you heard what he had to say- now try to keep being intentional about working on those things! ❤

  6. Jenna says:

    Brady and you seem so much stronger now… I seriously love you guys together 🙂 Also, I don’t have a twitter so I couldn’t write there but I saw you’re looking into getting a dog… What about a schnauzer, they are adorable and good dogs! Good luck finding one

  7. J says:

    maltipoo or maltese all the way for a dog! they are so sweet and cute plus they don’t shed so you’ll never have to worry about dog hair on your clothes

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