stories i’m not proud of – part four. + i’m never drinking again.

In honor of her wedding on Saturday I thought I’d share a story about my friend, Brandie. Brandie is one of my favorite people ever. She’s from a really wealthy family, but she’s actually really humble and down to earth. I remember once she was trying to buy a Louis Vuitton bag online and checked her bank statement before. She was like, “Oh my God, I only have $110,000 left in my account.” She didn’t mean it in a pretentious way either.

Brandie was very generous with her money too, which we all loved. Whenever we would do anything she insisted on taking care of it. I remember once we stopped at a convenience before going to the movies and we all picked up chips and Starburst and gummy bears and Diet Cokes to sneak into the theater. We got in line behind one another to pay separately but Brandie demanded we all put our junk on the counter so she could pay for it. She spent like $80 total. Love Brandie for that.

Anyway, Brandie was generally just a really nice person and got along with everyone. She’s kind of like Carly.

One time, our group was going to a house party off campus: me, Lauren, Brandie and a few of our other girlfriends. We pregamed and got ready, and Brandie’s boyfriend (now fiancé) drove us all to the party in Brandie’s BMW SUV. We got drinks and settled in the kitchen so we could mingle and gossip and take pictures for Facebook. I sat on the kitchen counter with a cup of jungle juice in my hand.

[Just so you can visualize – I wore big hoop earrings and my hair in a bun on top of my head – very Kim Kardashian circa 2009-2010. I was so tan and my hair was ombré before ombré hair was a thing (my highlights had grown out) so my roots were darker and my bun was light. Trendsetter.]

So I was just sitting there giggling with Lauren about something when I heard some belligerent girl talking to Brandie. She was saying something like, “Your boyfriend blah blah blah,” and Brandie was backing away slowly because the girl was loud and had a beer bottle dangerously close to her face. I couldn’t tell at first, but the girl was yelling at sweet Brandie who is the nicest person ever and would never deserve to be yelled at.

Obviously I needed to intervene so I shouted, “Watch who you’re talking to, girl!”

Crazy girl turned and looked at me, confused. “What?”

I leaned down closer to her face so she could hear me. “Don’t talk to my friend like that, you psychopath.”

This must have triggered something because homegirl drew back and launched the empty bottle at the cabinets behind me. The beer bottle shattered into a billion pieces just barely missing my head. Once I realized that I was okay and no glass had hit me, I was shocked and livid that this crazy girl would do something so dangerous and reckless. The glass could have hit me in the spine and I could have been paralyzed!

So I lunged at her. I slid off the counter and I lunged at her with my hands out to wring her stupid little neck. We fell to the ground and we fought for probably only ten or twenty seconds. I felt someone pull me off her, but I was kicking and clawing demanding to get back at her.

I heard Brandie’s boyfriend telling me to calm down and realized he was the one who pulled me off the crazy girl.

“Oh my gahddd Reese, are you okay?” I heard Brandie say.

Lauren was saying something like, “Bitch are you done? Do you want to get your ass kicked again?” I love Lauren. Technically no one got their ass kicked, but you know. Gotta say whatever sounds good.

So yeah. No one can say I’m a bad friend. I almost got kicked out of a party for Brandie and she’s been forever grateful. I got a reputation of being a scrappy little thing after that even though I really didn’t get in other fights (except with my ex). I didn’t mind though. Kept the crazies at bay.

Anyway, back to present day. Tuesday was a struggle for me. Luke texted me on Tuesday evening saying, “Let’s go out and have a drink.” And since I had already gone to the gym, was literally in bed watching Chopped and Brady was working I said okay.

Luke suggested a place that’s so swanky that I felt like I needed to wear my long sleeved little black dress, booties, sparkly statement earrings and my YSL bag. Luke was all like, “Oooooooo, look at you!” when I met him outside and he looked like the heart eyes emoji.

Luke had on a v-neck and a bright blazer and super chic captoe shoes. He’s fabulous and I can’t wait to introduce him to Preston. We went inside and immediately started flirting with the bartender who told us our first round was on him. So one drink turned into too many to count. We sat at the bar talking about work and life and charming the pants off the bartender cuz that’s what we do. One of the last things I remember is getting up to use the bathroom, stumbling and Luke grabbing me and saying, “Oh girl, you gotta keep it together better than that.” I laughed at him.

I woke up on Wednesday morning, panicked, not knowing where I was or what day it was. I was relieved when I figured out that I was in Brady’s bed. I felt around until I found my phone and discovered that it was exactly 8:00 AM. I needed to get home and get ready then make it to work before 10:00. I slowly peeled myself out of bed (I was still wearing my dress) preparing to gather my things. I found a fresh glass of ice water on the nightstand and realized that Brady probably put it there before he left for work. I drank it all in under five seconds.

I started looking for my bag and realized that couldn’t find it anywhere. I literally tore up Brady’s room trying to find it then tore up the living room and kitchen. Finally I texted him, asking if he knew where I put it.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry. Are you sure you had it? I don’t remember you having a bag when I picked you up,” Brady replied.

A horrible feeling washed over me. If I left my $2,000 bag at the bar I would never see it again and it literally had all my belongings in it. My ID, all my cards, my apartment and car keys, my limited edition lipgloss that can’t be found anymore. I calmly sat on the couch and started calling the bar. Of course, they were closed. I actually wanted to jump off a bridge.

I took a long shower and got dressed in something I’d left there. I tried calling the bar a few more times before calling an Uber to take me to work.

Luke came and found me immediately so we could discuss the night’s shenanigans.

“Did you exchange numbers with the bartender or anything?” I asked after I told him about losing all my stuff.

“I didn’t. And you’ve called the bar?” Luke said back.

“A million times!” I cried. I was starting to worry that I would never see my shit again. I would have to pay for new apartment keys, jump through hoops to get a new drivers license and new credit cards and find a lipgloss that is similar to the sold out one. I was stressing.

To take my mind off of it, Luke talked about how the night went besides losing my stuff. I didn’t remember a lot of it. He said that Brady picked us up and I made him stop so we could get food (McDonald’s, obviously) then take Luke home which was not on the way at all.

“Tell him I appreciate it so much! He is so sweet!” Luke gushed.

Aww. He’s right – Brady is so sweet. Especially since he gave me his card so I could get food and stuff since I didn’t have any money. Like what would I do without him?

Around the time I was leaving Brady’s work, I got a Facebook friend request from a guy named Wyatt. And after looking through some of his profile pictures I realized it was the bartender from the night before. I quickly accepted then had my Uber driver stop at Potbelly’s so I could pick up my lunch. When I got back in the car, Wyatt had sent me a message.

He let me know that he had my bag safely in his possession and did I need him to bring it to me or anything? I almost cried, I was so happy. I told him where my office is and asked if he would be in the area at all. If not, I told him I would meet him literally anywhere to get it. He replied that it wasn’t any trouble and that he would let me know when he was on his way.

I could not believe my luck! Wyatt could have taken my stuff and run with it, but he didn’t. Just when I thought everyone in the world sucked, this happened.

When Wyatt finally showed up at my office I couple of hours later, I couldn’t help throwing my arms around him and practically kissing his feet thanking him.

“I owe you a drink!” I declared.

“Okay, you just let me know when,” Wyatt smiled.

I ran back to Luke and told him what happened. “Can you believe Wyatt brought my bag all the way to me? He didn’t have to do that.”

Luke agreed and said I needed to be thanking my lucky stars that an honest person found my things. He’s right.

Anyway, this weekend is Brandie’s wedding and I’m so excited to see her again! It’s been probably a year since I’ve seen her. And I’m excited for everyone to meet Brady. He’s soo different than my ex, it’s funny. I can’t wait.


20 thoughts on “stories i’m not proud of – part four. + i’m never drinking again.

  1. lbermont says:

    Oh my god!! I’m so glad that the bartender had your bag!!!

    Back in March, I went out with coworkers. I woke up in bed at like 5am with all my clothes on, and my phone, but no bag. I’d apparently passed out on the stairs outside (while it was snowing) and J had to drag me up 3 flights of stairs, but he didn’t see my bag with me when I got home. So I panicked and ran outside and ran down the stairs and lo and behold, my bag was on the ground, hidden in a pile of snow.

  2. A says:

    Welp this is how I feel right now. Moving to chicago this wknd and my friend was over last … So hungover watching people pack up my whole apartment..worst.

  3. kelseyxsays says:

    When I read that on Twitter I LOL’d so hard. lol That’s such a shitty thing to laugh at though…. but I laughed because I can relate to the struggle hahah. But at least now it can be funny cause you have your bag and belongings back. #Phew
    Can’t wait to hear how the wedding goes!!! Make sure you keep your shit together this time, haha.

  4. K says:

    hm. I think, you should do something for Brady to say thanks for being awesome and coming to get you and taking Luke home. Maybe take him out to dinner or something and tell him you’re buying to say thank you. It may not sound like much, but he WILL appreciate the gesture. Trust a bitch. He’ll love you for acknowledging his effort on that one.

  5. Haley says:

    Lol I just saw that you wrote on Twitter that you’re not going to tell him about Matt’s texts. I’m honestly really disappointed in you. A relationship is literally nothing without honesty and it’s pretty obvious you don’t really do the right thing if it’s even a tiny bit difficult or would inconvenience you… But honestly, it’s your life so do what you feel is best.

    • I NEVER said that I wasn’t going to tell him. so before you start judging and telling me that you’re disappointed, go back and read what I said.

      • Hebbsxo says:

        UMMMM STOP THE PRESS! I would say, don’t tell him– chalk it up as a lesson learned for yourself that not every guy has the right “friendly” intentions, and move up and on. Sometimes ignorance is bliss–NOTHING HAPPENED, NOTHING TO EXPLAIN! It will just give him trust issues and there is totally no need for that!

      • Hebbsxo says:

        If you’re dying to tell someone: tell your best non-judgey girl friend, she’s supposed to know the dirty deets of your life anyway, not your BF. Seriously, if it doesn’t make him ANGRY as hell that you wanted a little esteem boost from a good looking (creepy as fuck-nonetheless) (married douche bag) dude, it will just make him concerned every time you go out without him. You don’t need unnecessary relationship struggles; they are hard enough as is. Go enjoy a beautiful, wedding weekend with your man and let it go! There are better things to talk about and do on a flight anyway! 😉

    • Sara says:

      All right, I know what I am about to say is totally inflammatory, but Haley, you are full of shit. All that telling Brady about an interaction like this will do is rock the boat and destroy trust. And I ask you, Haley (and be truthful to yourself here): have you ever flirted with someone not your man? Fantasized about someone else (not your man) while getting off (either alone or with him)? Searched online for the whereabouts of old boyfriends? I bet you have. All these are worse than Reese’s texting interaction and they are NORMAL. Any normal, healthy woman has responses like these. It’s how the human brain works. So, stop being such a shit disturber by giving destructive advice. (Yeah, your comment pissed me off, can you tell >sarcasm<) Reese told Brady about the pub crawl, so he knew about Matt. He continued to pursue. She ignored it, mostly and finally blocked him when it went from "hi how are you?" to gross-stalkery.

      Relationships ARE about honesty, but there is no reason to disclose every single sliver of our inner lives to our partners. If we all did that, we would all have to join convents or monasteries because no relationship could endure such assaults of "honesty".

      Sorry, Reese, for going off like this in my response, but I was too irritated by Haley's comment to keep my mouth shut.

      • Haley says:

        Lol actually, I’m not full of shit. I just value honesty, but you clearly don’t. I don’t need to defend my advice-I told Reese what I think the truth is, not some watered down bullshit about how she can do whatever she wants and not tell Brady because that’s easier. Sorry your relationships are so shallow they would be destroyed by actual honesty. Bye Sara!

      • Sara says:

        My relationship (singular) is not shallow. With him for 10 years, married for 8-1/2 (happily and faithfully on both sides) and I value honesty as well, but there is such a thing as over sharing. You can say a lot in the name of “honesty” and all it does is hurt the other person. I stand by my statement that the texting mess should be dropped and chalked up to experience. Reese already told Brady about Matt and it was Matt who continued the pursuit. Reese responded briefly to a series of texts from a man who she had told that she had a BF, he pushed the issue and she blocked him. What is there to tell? Seriously?

      • Laura says:

        Sarah I totally agree with you. Haley you’re being selfish no? Reese shouldn’t tell brady abou it because it’ll do nothing but alleviate her own guilt. Nothing happened and she is no longer talking to Matt so what is the issue? If she were carrying on a relationship with Matt then that would be one issue but chalk it up to a learning experience and don’t do it again is my advice. I’ve been there and lied to my then-boyfriend (now husband) about flirting with a guy who wanted to take it too far. My boyfriend found out about it (he’s a detective, literally, so he saw right through my lie) and was furious with me. I had to come clean since he asked and it did not do good things for our relationship. Thankfully we were able to work it all out and move on but it was so not worth him finding out. I learned from my experience and I can say nothing like that has EVER happened again.

        Reese just keep moving forward with Brady. It’s your relationship and your life…don’t ruin it over some stupid flirting and advice given to you by someone online (ironic that I’m giving advice now but you know what I mean lol). I hope the wedding/weekend away with Brady was totally awesome and I can’t wait to read about it!

      • Bella says:

        Haley I’m sorry to say this, but you have gone beyond constructive criticism and it seems that you are just making a point of knocking all of Reese’s actions. If it’s making you this disturbed then you should maybe just check out of the blog…
        Anyway, Reese it’s your life and up to you what you do 🙂

      • megg says:

        For the record, I totally agree with Sara and Hebbsxo. They said everything that needs to be said. Also, I think more people reading this blog should check-out and listen to Dan Savage. So much to be learned about the art of navigating relationships. Haley, I’d start with you 😉

  6. Susy says:

    I had that Ombre look back then in 2009 too, but it wasn’t intentional. I had a health issue so I lost some of my hair and it lightened up to a reddish/light brown color. I hated it! But when I look back and see pictures I do think, hey, I started the ombre look too. I was so glad when it grew back.

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