how are we ever going to have a fulfilling life together?

Our summer interns started on Monday. Because of the huge change we had in departments, we didn’t really have anything set for them to do. And since Whitney’s role is so small now she is in charge of babysitting them all day. Lucky her! We have all girl interns and one boy. He’s gay. Luke hates him.

After work, I got dinner (banh mi!) and went to Brady’s. He wasn’t home yet so I set up our feast and posted a picture on my Snapchat story so everyone would be jealous. When Brady got home we ate and talked about work and stuff. We were talking about needing to take a real vacation, like not just a weekend, and I suggested Spain. One of my Facebook friends is in Barcelona for the summer and I’m super jealous of his pictures. I literally log on just to see if he’s uploaded any new ones. Brady thought it was a great idea. I’m too afraid to plan it though because it might jinx us!

Later on, we were laying in bed with our laptops and Brady said, “Your dad told me to tell you to make sure you’re being nice to me.”

“What? Where? How?” I asked, oogling at his computer screen.

“He texted me,” Brady said and held up his phone.

I scrunched my nose up. “What? How does he have your number?”

“Uh, we exchanged numbers?”


“Last time he visited.”


I was so confused. I don’t remember ever seeing my dad and Brady exchanging phone numbers or business cards or really even talking one on one.

“I don’t know. We just get along well. Is that bad?” Brady pushed his glasses up on his nose.

“No, it’s fine. Just don’t talk about me. And don’t tell him anything about our relationship,” I said.

Brady laughed and said he wouldn’t. I think it’s kinda interesting that Brady and my dad get along well and text each other although I can’t figure out what they possibly text about (Golf? Cars? IRAs? Me?!). And it makes me kind of sad that I can’t imagine ever texting his mom or dad and being friendly with them. We don’t have a single thing in common/they hate me.

On Tuesday night, Brady brought home macarons and wine for me. He’s so sweet. We watched Netflix and drank wine in the living room. A little while later, we heard Carly and Chris walk in. I watched them walk toward the kitchen, dressed all nicely like it was date night.

Fueled by the wine, I shouted, “Hi Carly!”

She stopped suddenly and looked at me, then did the meanest thing I’ve ever seen her do: she rolled her eyes at me. Rude.

“Ugh, what’s with her?” Brady asked after she and Chris disappeared.

I shrugged. So she was obviously still very mad. And it made me mad. So I decided to be done with her.

I was meeting with Kendra for happy hour after work on Wednesday and I decided to bring Luke along. And since I was bringing Luke I decided to invite Preston.

I’ve told them all abut each other and now they’re friends on Snapchat and Instagram and talk sometimes. Luke says Preston isn’t his type, but I was convinced once they met in person they were going to love each other. They’re both like the male version of me!

“You’re going to love him! He’s so much fun!” I told Luke as we walked to the restaurant. I’d been waiting for the day when my two favorites gays got to meet and it was finally happening!

Kendra was already there when we got there. We sat down and ordered and I discreetly told her about the impending meeting. When Preston arrived, he was with Nicole and she made this big scene about how happy she was to finally meet Luke. So annoying.

I watched Preston and Luke eye each other up. Preston is tall and thin with amazing skin, dark hair and eyes, and he wears lots of layers, boots, hats, etc. Luke is the opposite. He’s tall and muscular with light beachy hair, blue eyes, a five o’clock shadow, and he was wearing freaking Converse and a beanie.

“Nice to meet you, man,” Luke said in his deep voice.

After we sat down, Preston texted me, “He is SEXY.” I looked up and smiled at him across the table.

We started talking about Caitlyn Jenner because I wanted to get everyone’s opinion on it.

“She’s so brave and I think it’s amazing that she is finally able to show the world who she really is. Honestly, it brought tears to my eyes,” Preston said.

Luke side eyed him. “Dude, really? Are you thinking about transitioning too or something?”

“What if I am? Is that a problem?” Preston shot back sassily.

I giggled and sipped my drink because clearly they were kidding.

“I think his, I mean her, makeup could have been better. I mean, you’re on the cover of a magazine! She should have looked like a million bucks,” Nicole said.

We all looked at her.

“Well, she still looks much better than Kris Jenner,” I said and everyone laughed.

“She still looks like Bruce to me. I’m not really buying it. I think it’s for publicity,” Nicole went on.

“Publicity, doll, really? She’s being ridiculed by everyone!” Preston gasped.

“She gained followers on Twitter faster than the president of the United States. That’s hardly being ridiculed. Everyone is supporting her,” Luke said.

The two of them stared each other down while Nicole continued to offend the entire table. Preston texted me again saying, “He’s an asshole. I don’t know if I love it or hate it.”

“Love it. Try to be nicer,” I replied.

I heard Preston say, “So Luke, do you go out?”

“I do,” Luke answered.


“Wherever. Places around here.”

“Hmm. Have you been to B-Town?”

“Hell no. I avoid places like that.”

Preston’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Why?”

“It’s way too faggy and gross for me. Not my scene at all,” Luke said.

Preston looked wounded. “Okaaaaaaay.”

I texted Kendra, “They aren’t getting along as well as I thought they would. We need to mediate.”

“Mediate?” she responded. “We need to split them up before someone gets hurt.”

I put my phone down and decided to point out that they have more in common than they think.

“What gym do you go to, Preston? Luke goes to the gym every morning before work,” I said.

“I don’t work out, boo,” he said proudly. “I’m just naturally this fit.”

Luke scoffed and shook his head.

Nicole said, “It’s because of all he cigarettes and coke.”

“Nikki!” Preston gasped, slapping her shoulder.

Luke gave me a wide eyed look. That’s how the entire meal went. It was a disaster. Finally Preston and Nicole decided they were going to take their party elsewhere. As soon as they left I said, “He’s not normally like that.”

“Yeah. He needs to stop hanging out with Nicole. She’s literally too stupid to function,” Kendra said.

I was tipsy after we left and walked to a bar a few blocks away to meet Brady for the Blackhawks game. He was with guy friends and I was the only girl, but who cares. There were no stools available and no one seemed to want to accommodate me so I made Brady scooch over so we could share a seat.

“Hey baby,” I said in a low voice so only he could hear me. “Did you order food? I’m starving.”

“Hmm?” Brady said, smiling affectionately at me.

He clearly had no idea what I said so I looked around until I found a passing server. I’d actually eaten before at happy hour, but I always want to eat more.

“Can I have an order of cheese fries, a strawberry margarita on the rocks – salt, and a round of tequila shots for the table?” I said to the server.

“Reese,” Brady said.

“Loveeeee youuuuuu,” I said hugging him.

When our tequila shots came I happily announced to the group. Everyone looked around like they were unsure for a moment, but then we all took it. Afterwards I said, “So I’m dying to get everyone’s thoughts on the most pressing issue our country is facing right now… Caitlyn Jenner.”

Everyone groaned.

“Who cares?” Nate, I think, called out.

“I care,” I said.

“I think it’s bullshit that growing tits and cutting your dick off makes you a hero. What a country we live in,” said Jacob.

Everyone chuckled and I gasped.

“Yeah. ‘Courageous’ because he’s a drag queen.”

“Because he thinks God made a mistake.”

“It’s disgusting. I’m sick of seeing and hearing about it.”

I leaned over to Brady. “I never knew your friends were so Republican.”

“Yeah…” he said looking kind of uncomfortable.

“What do you think?”

“I mean, I don’t really care.” He took a long gulp of his beer. “It doesn’t impact my life at all.”

“But it brings forth a lot of issues people are normally afraid to speak about. It’s like racism. Every knows it’s there, but no one wants to talk about it.”

“I would hardly compare this to racism, Reese,” Brady said.

“How? It’s the same thing. Black people can’t help that they’re born black and they are still discriminated against for it. Gay people can’t help that they’re gay, transgender people can’t help that they were born the wrong gender…”

“You can’t compare someone’s appearance, their genetic make up, their culture, the way they were born to what is essentially a choice,” Brady said.

Choice?!” I practically shouted. “Being gay is not a choice!”

“Maybe it’s not a choice, but coming out and being open about gay or transgender is a choice. People cannot hide their race or ethnicity.”

“You think gay people should hide being gay?” I asked in a low voice. “Brady, are you homophobic?”

I felt like I was going to cry. I can’t believe Brady and I had never had this conversation before.

“Of course not. I just think it’s an unfair comparison.”

I dug into my cheese fries and tried to digest the fact that my future husband is close minded and ignorant just like his parents. How are we ever going have a fulfilling life together? I plan on having a man of honor (Preston) and drag queens vogue-ing down the aisle at our wedding. For a moment I thought I should hook him up with Nicole and they could live a nice, transphobic life together. Then I looked at Brady and he was looking down at his beer bottle and he looked so innocent and cute.

“Hey,” I said, nudging him with my elbow. “I forgive you for what you said.”

Brady laughed. “Okay, thanks.”

After the game, we went back to Brady’s house and had sex. Afterwards as we were laying next to each other I said, “Brady, I just want you to know that I used to be a man.”

He gave me a weird look at first and then rolled his eyes when I started laughing. I’m so hilarious. I love myself.


51 thoughts on “how are we ever going to have a fulfilling life together?

  1. megg says:

    omg! I hooked up with this guy a couple months ago and just as we were getting naked he said, “I used to be a girl.” He too thought he was so funny. It was funny in the end, but holy shit I stopped breathing for a full minute.

    I’m 100% supportive of the transgender community. Brady seems overall open minded. He may not have had the influences in his life to realize what an important issue gay/lesbian/transgender rights is. I would never be able to be with someone who held bigoted views…so I totally get where you’re coming from. Continue to talk with him. See if he’s willing to recognize the significance.

    I’m proud of you for holding your own while surrounded by such narrow mindedness!

    And if you haven’t watched John Stewart’s clip on Caitlyn Jenner/being a woman in America, watch it!

    • lol omg, wait so he didn’t used to be a girl? hahaha. yeah I was really shocked when Brady said those things about trans and gay people. I’ve never heard him sound so close minded and awful! it kind of hurt.

      • megg says:

        No. He never was a girl. He was being funny. Which, honestly was a little off-putting for me. Your exchange with Brody “I used to be a man” was funny, because Brody knows you! This was a guy I had barely met…a hookup. Maybe he was testing to see if I was trabsphobic…who knows?? It definitely hurts when you realize some of your core beliefs are vastly different from someone you love. I’m holding out hope that Brady will expand his understanding!

      • ummmm!! Not sure if you are from NorCal, but saying we grow a lot of weed…. Kind of a generalization. Some ( most actually) of us grow cows or nut trees:). Happy cows come from California๐Ÿ˜„. And there are way more of them that come from up here than weed:). Once it is “legalized” fur than that it already is, all bets are off. Lol

    • I remember reading on Twitter a while ago. I wonder how the republican community is going to accept him! (by the way, I don’t dislike republicans or anything like that, my mom is a republican and everyone I grew up around are republicans, but I think they are really evil and ridiculous sometimes).

  2. sarah says:

    I’m a first time commenter. First, I love your blog and think you’ve come such a long way! But your comment about republicans being evil sometimes kind of hurt. I’m personally a republican and not all of us have close minded views. I accept people for who they are and how they want to live their lives. In fact, I think Caitlyn Jenner coming out was extremely brave, and I support that. I also support equal rights because everyone deserves to be happy in their own skin, whichever way that is. However, I still believe what the bible says, meaning that god makes no mistakes when he makes us in the womb. I just believe it is not my place to judge how one chooses to live their life. So please don’t say that all republicans can be evil. We aren’t as close minded as many make us out to be. As long as a person is not judgmental about their beliefs and force them on to someone else then I think everyones ideas/thoughts/beliefs deserve to be heard.

    • I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you or hurt your feelings. I definitely shouldn’t have generalized all republicans because of the ones i know and have encountered. I’m glad you don’t judge Caitlyn Jenner or anyone else because I don’t either! โ™ฅ๏ธ

  3. Lori says:

    As a republican I find it insulting that you paint all republicans with the same paintbrush. The majority of us are not evil and actually are more middle of the road than you think. There are plenty of democrats that are screwed up as well. I think Carly is getting increasingly annoyed with you acting like everything is fine between the two of you. If you value her friendship talk to her. If not just cut ties.

    From experience developing such over friendly relationship with coworkers. It could come back and bite you in the ass. Learn to set boundaries with work friends.

    • sorry. I don’t mean to insult you. I actually don’t identify as democrat or republican and I agree that there are crazy people on each side. I try to avoid politics honestly. I’ll try not to talk about democrats or republicans again.

  4. Britt says:

    OMG. On Monday, after my FWB and I had sex, we were talking about Caitlyn Jenner and the trans community and he was just so confused/uneducated on the whole situation. So, I turned to him and told him that I used to be a man (obviously kidding) and he looked at my face, then down to my boobs, then back up to my face with the most confused look until I burst out laughing and he hit me with a pillow. When I read the ending of your blog, I died. Great minds think alike!

  5. Amber says:

    Hey! I haven’t posted in a while (still read all of your posts though – love them) but this latest one is too funny! You seriously crack me up – loved the ending! And I love you and Brady together – it seems like things are going so well, yay!!
    And ps, I am so over Carly!

  6. Hebbsxo says:

    I think that it’s so important to have conversations with your peers re: the hot topics going on in the country. To gain and understand other people’s perspectives and to share your own to see the situation as a whole. It also make me super judges which is why I had to deactivate FB. For the people being insulted by your republican comment…people are entiltled to personal opinions and thoughts, worse things are said everyday people. Republicans are generally closed minded people, all of my in laws are and holy shit when politics come up at dinner, it’s 2 against 10 disgruntled scrunched up faced folks.
    Also, totally think you’re hilarious too! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Sarah says:

        While many of the older generation of republicans are very close minded, most of the younger ones in our generation aren’t! I don’t agree with a lot of what my strict republican family believes in but I still call myself a republican. But I’m a much more relaxed republican and can say the same for many of my friends who are also republicans. Meaning, while I myself don’t believe in certain things, I think it’s totally ok for others to believe differently and live their lives differently. And I accept them for that. Generalized statements about either party get us no where.

      • I’m glad you pointed this out. when I think of republicans I think of people like Brady’s parents not younger republicans like you or Brady.

    • my family is not really big into politics so maybe I haven’t been exposed to that a lot and that’s why I have such a bad impression of republicans (just from the media). and don’t even get me started on Facebook. as soon as something big happens like Caitlyn Jenner I avoid facebook for weeks.

      • Hebbsxo says:

        Girl, my reason for deactivation was the gay marriage issue. One friend ranted on and on and on about how gay lifestyles were perverted on a mutual friend who happens to be married and gay’s post. I was like goodness bye!

      • I have such a hard time understanding how people who aren’t gay have an issue with gay marriage. it has NOTHING to do with you so why are you against it?

    • Stacey says:

      No we can’t agree Carly is being ridiculous. Reese is acting like their cool and skirting the issue. Be and adult and reach out to Carly if she’s such a good friend as you claim. I would be pissed if I was upset with my so called best friend and she acted like everything was fine. Reese needs to be more aware of her behavior and how it affects others. If you make a promise stick to it. Don’t do what you promised not to do because it felt good for a moment. Your word should be gold.

      • Leanne says:

        I wouldn’t talk to you either if you text me and act like nothing happened, the cut off all communication for days and now is yelling my name when I’m in the process of leaving with my boyfriend to go wherever. You haven’t made an effort to remedy this issue. Even though you keep saying she’s your friend and you feel bad what have you done? You went to see her brother again this time to talk and probably because you needed some attention. To me you aren’t doing anything but complain that Carly isn’t speaking with you. When you hurt someone you care and love you apologize not act like that hurt never happened.

      • Leanne says:

        You haven’t really reached out to her and taken her feelings into consideration. Trying to act like nothing happened will only upset her more because it seems that you’re minimizing her feelings. Maybe you’ve reached out to her in other instances and haven’t blogged about it. She’s hurt and maybe you should think about how she is feeling.

  7. Y says:

    Doll. Don’t avoid the issue with Carly. If she won’t talk to you maybe send her an email apologizing, then the ball is in her court. I know I would be pissed if my friend didn’t address the issue and pretends like nothing happened. It’s like belittling her feelings.

    You are hilarious. I don’t think Brady is closed minded. He was just raised by Republicans. I however agree with him that it’s not comparable to racism. Two separate issues. Racism was a concioys subjugation of people by society. It’s a completely different issue.

    • megg says:

      (my comment is not meant to attack you) It is NOT a completely different issue. It is intertwined like a mother fucker. Read up. Take some courses. Learn. Bigotry is bigotry. Oppression is oppression. Equal rights and respect for all…despite color, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc. And those who are gay/trans and of color have it sooo much worse. The average life expectancy for a trans woman of color is 35 years old. 8 trans women of color have been killed this year. Very intertwined…very much the same issue.

      • I agree. I’m starting to feel like Brady’s brother’s wife with how much I’m preaching about this. but yes. agree so much. it’s so sad.

    • megg says:

      And how exactly do you not think that discrimination against the lgbt community is not a conscious subjugation by our society? They are not afforded the sane rights and freedoms. They make less in the work place, insurance benefits are not readily theirs, discrimination is rampant for this class of people. Don’t think it is not conscious oppression.

      • Laura says:

        I agree with everything you just said but I’d like to point out that what you describe applies to all women everywhere. We don’t make as much as men do in the workforce and we are an extremely oppressed group by society. Just tacking onto the awesome point you made!

    • I don’t think he’s closed minded either, but I don’t think he understands LGBT issues. maybe he hasn’t had any close friends who were LGBT so he just doesn’t get it.

  8. Sara says:

    My! This is for sure the most political discussion yet! And it is very cool–people have posted some interesting viewpoints!
    The dictionary definition of of bigotry is (and I quote) is “intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.” This definition covers a lot of ground. To say that gay people are not the same as people of different races because they can hide their differences is naive. Why should they have to hide? To say they have more of an advantage because their difference does not show is even more naive. In this country, people of different religious or political affiliations are often not obviously sorted out, but one cannot say there is no religious or political prejudice. Gay people have been singled out and treated with fear and loathing and it is only recently (in the last 10 years) that they have even begun to have some of the rights that others of us take for granted. I was one of the attendants for a gay friend who got married right after DOMA was passed and I was proud to do so. The recents rights afforded to gay people are a long time coming. My brother is gay and so was my late uncle, and the stories I heard from them about gay bashing and hate they experienced are horrible. I admit I have had gay friends and relatives and so for me, it is just another way of being like being female vs. male, of varied religious affiliations, of a particular race, a particular political viewpoint, whatever.
    As for prejudice I have personally experienced, I have endured serious sexism in the workplace in my life (recently–last Summer– I was passed over for a promotion for someone far less experienced and male largely because I am a woman. I was disgusted and shocked that such sexism still exists, but it does and it SUCKS.) This experience did give me pause to think about ALL prejudice and how destructive it is. Prejudice of all sorts is damaging and I really think trying to imagine walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is a useful exercise. I think the point of the commenter to not judge all Republicans by media sound bites is well made. I am a Democrat, but I think that politics is far less black and white and that most people are not stereotypes but should be viewed as individuals viewed for their own individual merits.

    • Sarah says:

      Completely 100% agree! So many of my republican friends, including myself, support equal right for everyone even if people think our party does not support it. And to an extent, it doesn’t. But that’s the older generation once again! I truly believe once our generation fully takes over the lines between parties will become even more blurred. The reason I still side with the Republican Party more is for other reasons and based on my own personal beliefs. But the main belief I have is that it is not my place to judge others! And there are a lot of younger republicans out there like me that believe the same.

      • okay this makes sense. I guess I am thinking about the older republicans so I’m sorry for generalizing all of you! like I said, I don’t identify with either party.

  9. Chell says:

    Long time reader, first time commenter! I’m general I love your blog Reese and really admire the way you put yourself out there, flaws and all. I think you rock!!! I just wanted to take a second and weigh in on the Carly stuff. A few years back my close friend made out with my ex. It really hurt me to find out that she had done that becaus, long story short, she knew I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. Her rational was that it wouldn’t bother her if a friend hooked up with her ex. But what really hurt was that she didn’t tell me, I found out from someone else and when I did confront her she acted like it was no big deal. I think that could be the issue here; not so much that you hooked up with Kyle but that you didn’t tell her and when she found out it seems like you acted like it was no biggie and you would be cool if she hooked up with your brother if you had one. Maybe you have apologized in a way that shows you are genuinely sorry and remorseful and just haven’t posted it here, but if you haven’t maybe that should be the first step. At the end of the day we don’t always need t agree with or totally understand why people are hurt by our actions, we just need to acknowledge that hurt if we truly care about them. Best of luck, I really hope you guys can make work it out!!!

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