Since I wasn’t working on Friday, I did a little shopping, got waxed and threaded, and went to Kyle’s condo to talk. He texted me asking if I’d talked to Carly and I said no and asked if he had any suggestions. Since I was on my way home, I just walked to his place so we could talk about it. He’d just gotten off work and was wearing slacks and this fitted dress shirt that showed off his big arms. I think he works in finance, but I’m not sure.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” Kyle said when he let me in. He smiled and pulled me into a hug and I instantly knew it wasn’t a good idea for me to be over there. I gave him the weakest one armed hug I could muster.
“I’ve never been here before. Give me a tour!” I said, trying to avoid too much eye contact.
“Okay,” Kyle said, laughing and following me into the living area. I walked through his living room and kitchen while he commentated. I peeked into his dark bedroom and quickly turned away before he could follow me in.
“Cute,” I concluded. We walked back to the kitchen and looked at each other.
Kyle ran his hands through his hair and said, “So how have you been? Do you want a glass of wine?”
His smile was so blinding that I literally had to look away. He’s so good looking.
“Sure, I’ll have one glass,” I said.
I stood there while Kyle poured us glasses of red wine.
“So Carly is giving you the cold shoulder, huh?” he asked as he handed me my glass.
I nodded. “I didn’t expect her to stop speaking to me. I’m really surprised honestly.”
“Yeah, when Carly’s mad, she’s mad. She doesn’t get mad often, but when she does…” He shook his head like he can’t even deal with her.
“Hmm,” I said. I hopped up on the counter and sat with my legs dangling off. “Have you talked to her?”
“A little bit. She’s giving me shit about it too.”
“Okay, you know her well and I’m sure this has happened before.” I gave him a side eye. “What should I do?”
“Just give her some space. She’ll have to get over it.”
When Kyle said this he moved his arm and accidentally touched my knee. Since I was wearing shorts, he touched my bare skin and I pulled my leg back like he was a hot flame. Kyle and I have always had a lot of sexual tension going on, but I knew better than to play into it.
“But if she’s talking to you, I want her to talk to me,” I said.
“She’ll come around, Reese. Don’t worry,” he sighed.
I was kind of annoyed. Carly hasn’t spoken a word to me, but she’s speaking to Kyle and both of us went against what she said. Plus he’s probably done this to her before.
“Why is she so mad?” I asked him.
He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “Dude, I don’t know. I’m not too concerned about it. She will be okay eventually.”
“But I just don’t get why she’s refusing to talk to me at all,” I mused.
We were silent for a minute and I took a big gulp of my wine so I could finish it and get out of there.
“Nice kicks,” Kyle said and he stood in front of me and picked one of my legs up so he could see my shoe better.
“Thanks,” I giggled nervously. One of his hands was on my calf and the other held my foot. He started massaging my calf and made his way up to the back of my knee. I told him to stop.
“Ticklish?” he smirked at me.
“Yes!” I nodded. I tried to pull my leg away but Kyle held on. And I’d also like to remind you that I was wearing short shorts so I was also trying not to expose my vagina.
“Kyleeee,” I groaned.
“I love it when you say my name like that,” he said, finally letting go of my leg.
I jumped down from the counter and scurried around him preparing to leave.
“Are you out of here already?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah, I’m meeting up with my boyfriend soon,” I said, even though I hadn’t talked to Brady all day.
Kyle looked away and I grabbed my Nordstrom bag and headed toward the door.
“Hey!” he said and followed me. “We can still be friends, right? I don’t want you to think we can’t.”
Friends? Y’all know I can’t be friends with guys. It’s just impossible, especially after we’ve already had sex. But I still nodded. “Of course, Kyle.”
He hugged me goodbye then I ran all the way home because it was raining. Brady came over later that night. I hugged him so hard when I saw him. There’s nothing like seeing your bae after practically getting molested by your former friend’s brother, right?
“Happy to see me?” Brady laughed.
“Yessss. I missed you,” I said.
We decided to go to dinner so I changed into a long sleeved dress and heels. After dinner we sat at the bar and talked about our trip to Florida. And then we talked about our dog that we haven’t gotten yet. And then we talked about the houses we are going to buy (yes, plural). We like to dream big.
On Saturday one of Brady’s fraternity brothers was visiting so he had to pick him up from the airport early. I went home and worked out then spent the day with Preston and Nicole. They were fun and all, but I started missing my boyfriend which I know is pathetic. I texted him, “Hey, what are you doing?”
He said, “Home drinking with Eric [frat brother], Chris and Carly. You?”
The fact that Brady and Carly were drinking together made me uneasy. What if she got drunk and blabbed to Brady that I slept with her brother? What if Chris blabbed? So I made it my mission to avoid the duplex for the rest of the day.
On Sunday, Luke came over so we could do some work. We worked for about two hours before we decided to drive to Wisconsin for no reason other than to get food from his favorite restaurant. Not a single regret.
I called Brady when I got home. He didn’t answer so I decided to just go over there. I had this premonition that Carly would be there and it would be awkward, but I thought it was extremely unlikely because it was Sunday evening and she would probably be in the suburbs.
Nope. Carly’s car was parked when I got there. I got really annoyed at first, but then I realized that it wasn’t her fault that our boyfriends live together. I made it safely to Brady’s room without seeing her and texted Kendra asking if I should talk to her.
“It wouldn’t hurt to try,” Kendra said.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of trying to talk to Carly in person and her ignoring me. My pride couldn’t take that and I would probably say something snide in retaliation so I decided not to say anything at all.
Also on Sunday, my ex added me on SnapChat. I didn’t realize it was him because his username didn’t have his name or anything in it. Random people add me all the time on Snap so I thought nothing of it. Then he sent me a picture of his bare torso and his boner in boxer briefs. His face wasn’t in it, but I know what his body looks like. Plus the caption was, “What’s up?” and who else would just say that like it’s normal?
Gross. I blocked him immediately.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve given Carly some time to cool off so I’ll try texting her again today. Hopefully she responds, but if not I’m going to give up. This is all way too dramatic.
29 thoughts on “we like to dream big.”
Carly is obviously very stubborn but will hopefully talk to you again. As you said, her brother has probably slept with her friends before and maybe it’s ended badly and ruined some pretty good friendships. That could be why she said he’s hands off. What possibly has her so upset is not only did you lie because you knew she would be so mad but also sex with her brother was more important then any harm it would do to your frienshsip.
I’m not saying she’s right but it may be why she’s so upset. Also its her brother, her not speaking to him will impact her relationships with her family and that creates different responsibilities.
It’s very hard to be to be self aware and have empathy. Its easy to be what people perceive as selfish. I used to have similar traits and my relationships were always so difficult. But one day my husband put it in very simple terms and said You really don’t understand when people don’t think and do like you would. You think that everyone should understand you but you don’t even try to understand where other people are coming from. I was so shocked, hurt and mad. But realized he was right and started to look at people’s lives, their experiences and motivations. It helped me to put myself in their situations and how my words and actions affected them. I basically found my empathy and once I did my relationships with friends and family did a complete 180.
My friend told me the same thing one day when I was complaining about people at work. He told me “everyone sees things differently, everyone thinks differently so just put yourself in their shoes” It’s hard to do that because sometimes people don’t use common sense, but it helps to put things in perspective.
I’m glad you finally blurted out you had to go see your bf. Did Kyle know you got back together with Brady? You should clarify to him that you guys can be friends but no touching at all is allowed.
I’m glad you didn’t go out to talk to Carly, because then you would’ve really had to tell Brady what’s going on. I’m trying really hard to understand why she’s so pissed, but other than Kyle having real feelings for you, I can’t figure it out. Kyle is obviously over it, (not that he wouldn’t mind a repeat from the looks of it, just stay away). But when you talk to her try to validate her feelings and don’t make excuses.
I never told Kyle that I was back with Brady but maybe Carly did. I’m not sure. I don’t think Kyle has real feelings for me. I’ve never gotten that vibe from him at all. we don’t see each other or talk often and we just harmlessly flirt when we do.
I think your husband is right and I’m trying to follow that advice. it’s hard.
So she’s stubborn because she’s not ready to talk to a friend who betrayed her trust? You may not understand or agree with what she asked of Reese but since it doesn’t involve you that really doesn’t matter. I think Carly is perfectly justified in being angry and Reese will be lucky if she hasn’t lost a friend.
personally I think this is something really stupid to lose a friend over. but if that’s what Carly wants then whatever.
eww i love how kyle was still trying to flirt with you even though he knows y’all can’t do that again. men.
i hope carly chills out soon, like before brady or chris notice she’s not talking to you.
Kyle is desp
What’s your snapchat? I would love to add you!
i don’t give out my personal snapchat.. sorry!
You betrayed Carly and she’s feeling hurt. Just because some readers are thrilled about the prospect of their close friend hooking up with their brother doesn’t mean everyone is. She specifically asked you not to do something and you did it. It’s as though hooking up with Kyle was more important than your friendship with her. Try to see things from her perspective.
I don’t know why you’re calling Kyle desperate. Didn’t you choose to go over to his place? I think you inadvertently flirt and then act like you were the victim. I have a question for you and I’d hope you’d answer it. How would you feel if Brady went over to Jessica’s place to talk? Regardless of the reason you can’t keep doing things like this. There can’t be a double standard between what is acceptable behavior for you and him. Regarding Carly talking to Kyle and not you. That’s her brother. Maybe instead of making light of the situation via text he actually talked to her. Cutting ties with him would cause a rift in their family. Plus we don’t know if Carly asked him not to hook up with you specifically. While I don’t think you need to tell Brady about Kyle I’d be careful because thirds have a way of coming out.
why would carly tell me not to do anything with her brother but not tell him the same thing? that doesn’t make much sense to me. and i’m not saying she shouldn’t talk to him or cut ties or anything like that because obviously it’s ridiculous. but i think both of us should be punished the same because we are both responsible for what happened. i wouldn’t like it if brady went to jessica’s house, but it would depend on what they needed to talk about.
Really Reese? Didn’t you personally Facebook Jessica to stop talking to Brady completely? you totally made Brady’s work environment uncomfortable and now you say it depends what they had to talk about? You don’t know what Kyle promised Carly. This is about your actions and betrayal. Whether she treats both of you the same is her choice. Stop comparing.
okay then you stop comparing my situation to brady and jessica.
You can’t have it both ways. Jessica and Brady did whatever long before you yet you made it your duty to stop him from even making small talk with her. You get annoyed when he talks to any woman. Yet is okay for you go visit a man you had sex with to talk? Isn’t that a double standard. When you make choices you have to live with them. In a relationship it can’t always be you doing Reese and Brady being on eggshells if he even talks to a woman.
I don’t get annoyed when he talks to all girls.
“And then I watched him unlock his phone and hand it to her so she could put in her username. Ew. Why did they need to follow each other on Instagram? She isn’t even cute and her outfit sucked. I realized that even if she does decide to follow Brady on Instagram, he has nothing but pictures of me so I started giggling to myself.”
The most recent example of you getting annoyed with other girls.
Why? The comparison of Brady speaking with Jessica is equivalent to you and Kyle. You might not want to admit it to yourself but you’re doing the exact same things you’d freak out if Brady did.
okay I probably wouldn’t like it, especially if he didn’t tell me. I like to think that’s I’m a lot less jealous now though.
I think part of growing is becoming more self aware and thinking about how your actions will affect others. Do I think going to see Kyle to talk was a good idea on your part? No. I think you also need to realize that you hurt Carly. Take Kyle out of the equation and focus on making amends and fixing your friendship with her. Remember that when you make a promise to someone and your break it, it destroys trust and hurts that person. Try to put yourself in Carly’s shoes…the closest example I could think of is Kendra telling about your fling with Kyle even though she promised. How would you have felt if she did this completely unprovoked? That’s probably how Carly feels. I also think that you should think Brady and how he would feel about your actions. If he found out about you visiting Kyle he wouldn’t be happy so be cognizant of your future choices.
you’re right. I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea but I still did it. it was selfish and really stupid/unnecessary.
You know…maybe when you talk to Carly, you explain that her brother is a sort of safe spot for you. You know he likes and respects you, you were in a vulnerable spot and you enjoyed the time with him but you both knew that it wasn’t going anywhere. It was a fling thing for both of you guys, met a need you both had, and now you’ve moved on and am happy with your friendship with him. (Even if you aren’t going to be ‘real’ friends with him.) People make too big of a deal about things…just respect Carly, try to explain that you understand how she feels and are sorry, that it just happened and everything is good with you and Kyle. This too shall pass! 🙂
if she talks to me I do think this is something I could bring up. I don’t know of this will help my case any since I “betrayed” her…
Has she ever done anything that you felt betrayed by her?
not that I can think of.
Ahhh Reese. I think you mean well and have a good heart but this whole texting other guys (married guy)/ going over to Kyle’s/ flirting with guy at home depot/ seeking attention from your friends, needs to stop. It seems that you need attention and reassurance from everyone around you. From what I’ve gathered from your blog, it seems that you are good looking, smart, and successful. So why are you still needing reassurance from other people? I understand the way you were raised probably led to all of this, but its not a good enough excuse now that you are aware of the issues. There is definitely a double standard when it comes to your relationship. You would NOT be ok with Brady going over to Jessica’s. You’re not even okay with them communicating at work. Why is it ok for you to go over to Kyle’s? I felt you wanted attention (which you got) and then called him desperate. I’m saying all of this because I used to be the same exact way. Brady sounds like a great guy and would hate for you to lose him over stupid attention seeking decisions like going over to Kyle’s to “talk”. In my opinion, calling Kyle would have been more effective than going to his place.
you’re right… I’m trying!!!! I’ll try harder. 😇
I think the only thing that Kyle said that was useful was to give Carly her space. You kinda knew that already, but you also learned that A) he is never going to let up with flirting with you and B) he is obviously not bothered by you two hooking up. And I think you are right–you two can’t really be friends, but there is no reason to not be polite (which you were.) Still, the less time spent around Kyle the better, I think. I would seriously just go talk to Carly the next time you two are at the duplex together (if you don’t end up talking sooner.) . It will be hard since she is pissed, but you can admit you were not thinking straight because of your breakup and that you realized that you made a mistake. You didn’t set out to hurt or betray anyone; it just happened. That being said, tell her you want to patch things up with her and put all this behind you. You might have to eat a bit of crow to make things up, but I think it will be worth it to mend your friendship. If Carly needs to vent at you, try and not take it too personally. I am sure this will all work itself out. Just don’t run away from the issue.