My Friday therapy session went a million times better than the previous one. I went in with a more open mind and tried not to be so defensive. And I think Laura eased up a lot too which helped. We mostly talked about me and my family though. She wanted to know everything and I opened up a lot to her. I told her things that even Brady doesn’t know.
Brady left to visit his brother on Friday night after work. I was super sad and felt left out, but pretended to be really excited about his trip. He didn’t even want me to take him to the airport, he insisted on driving himself straight from work.
So I went to dinner with Luke and Luke’s friend, Callie. She was sweet, but wouldn’t stop dropping the fact that she’s a full time model into conversation. Like, “I can’t have any carbs, I have a huge shoot next week,” and “I’m lucky that I model because I work for two days then I can work out the rest of the week.” It was annoying.
She did win points with me though when she told me that I look like the girl from the Wolf of Wall Street aka Margot Robbie. I’ve only gotten that one other time before and I was super flattered. Margot is so hot. So I was besties with Callie after that.
On Saturday morning I called Brady as soon as I woke up. I missed him so much. He didn’t pick up so I sent him a picture of me in bed. I got up and cleaned a little, made tea and toast, then sat at the dining room table alone. I was like so bored. I can’t remember the last time I was that bored. What did I do before I met Brady? It’s so weird/scary. Not that I think we will break up, but I don’t want my entire life to revolve around him. I should be able to have fun with my friends or alone, right?
Brady eventually called back and I told him to send me a picture of him with the baby. And then he did and I swear my ovaries exploded. So fucking cute! He was even holding it correctly (I don’t think I actually know how to hold a newborn) and it looked so natural. I replied, “Oh my God, I want one.”
And Brady said, “Don’t get any ideas.”
On Saturday night, I went out with Preston, his gay friend, Eli, Nicole and Lexi. I mostly hung out with Lexi because Preston and Eli were being super slutty and flirting with straight guys and Nicole had hit it off with some guy who owns a convenience store (i.e. rich) so she was no where to be found.
So Lexi and I did the only thing there was to do at a bar: drink lots and lots of tequila. We literally just sat at the bar drinking sangria margarita swirls and taking the occasional shot. Lexi told me a ton of stories about crazy shit she’s done and was so nonchalant about it. I think that’s why I like her. She’s so chill.
I didn’t realize it, but I hadn’t eaten much on Saturday (just the toast and some fruit) so I got really, really drunk. One of the last things I remember is getting sent a shot of Fireball from a guy at the other end of the bar. Then I blacked out.
I woke up in a bed with dark linens. Brady has the whitest bed I’ve ever seen so I had no idea where I was. I sat up and looked around, noting the brown wingtip dress shoes on the floor near the closet. It took me a full minute to realize that I was in Carly’s brother, Kyle’s bed. He wasn’t in the bed with me (thank GOD), but Lexi was.
“Dude! Lex!” I said loudly.
She rolled over and sat up with a start.
I lowered my voice as I asked, “What the hell are we doing here?”
She looked around and shrugged. “At least he let us have the bed.”
Lexi and I were both still wearing our going out clothes which was a great sign because I literally could not remember anything.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Reese, you fucking psycho. You don’t remember?”
“Uh, no. I don’t remember anything. Tell me!”
“Well, you tried to hook me and this guy, Kyle, up, but then told me you’ve already hooked up with him.” She shot me a side eye.
“But I mean, it’s fine. We made out and stuff, but I insisted you come home with us. I didn’t want him to try anything else.”
“Lexi, Brady is going to kill me,” I said as calmly as I could.
“Why? Nothing even happened,” she said, looking confused.
“Because I have no business being here!” I got up and started looking around for my shoes and bag.
“How’s he going to find out?”
I didn’t have time to explain to Lexi that Brady and I have an honest relationship with a lot of trust so I couldn’t keep this from him.
“I’m leaving. Are you coming?” I asked.
Lexi looked at me then looked around like she was contemplating her options.
“I’m going to lay here for a little while longer,” she finally said.
“Okay. See you later,” I said and opened the door to leave.
I was surprised when I ran right into Kyle in the living room. I gasped. I don’t know why, but I expected to sneak out of there without seeing him.
“Well, well, look who it is,” he greeted me, smiling.
“Hey Kyle. I’m leaving,” I said.
“Already? I was going to order breakfast.”
I couldn’t tell if he was actually serious, but I didn’t care. “Lexi is still here.”
Kyle looked past me at his bedroom door then said, “All right. It was good seeing you.” He pulled me into a hug then I went home. Seriously, I can’t believe I thought that was a good idea, even with how drunk I was.
Brady got back to Chicago that afternoon and I’d cleaned the house from top to bottom and made lasagna for his arrival.
When I heard him unlocking the door I ran to the door so I could greet him.
“Hiiiiiiii bae,” I squealed when I saw him.
“Hey,” he replied and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.
He laughed and asked, “Did you miss me?”
“A ton,” I said, pouting. “How was your trip?”
“It was good. I wish you would have come.”
My jaw dropped. “Well, I wasn’t invited.”
Brady didn’t say anything and took his suitcase and bag to the bedroom. I followed him.
“How was your weekend?” he asked.
I’d decided that I was going to come clean about what happened and not drag it out and make it a big deal.
“Oh my gosh,” I began. “Last night I tried to hook Lexi and Kyle up and we all went back to Kyle’s and Lexi and I slept in his bed.”
Brady stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me. “What?”
“I know! It was so weird. Nothing happened obviously.”
“Carly’s brother, Kyle?”
I nodded. “He and Lexi are a thing now.”
Lexi had texted me after she finally left Kyle’s and told me that they made out and fooled around and she was excited to see him again. And did I mind?
Brady just looked at me.
“So yeah. I came home as soon as I woke up.”
“Why did you even go over there?” Brady wanted to know.
“Lexi didn’t want to go alone because she didn’t want him to try anything,” I explained.
“You should have told her no.”
“I know, but I was really drunk…”
“When are you going to stop getting so drunk that you can’t even function? I mean, this is getting ridiculous. You’re not in college anymore, Reese. If you can’t go out and not drink until the point of oblivion then you don’t need to go out and more importantly, you should seek help.”
I was taken aback by this. Whoa. Seek help? The shade.
“No, you don’t understand. I hadn’t eaten. I didn’t drink a lot, but it still hit me pretty hard,” I explained.
Brady shook his head. “I’m sick of this.”
“Sick of what?” I exclaimed.
He didn’t answer and went in the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and I started crying. I went into a crying coma and didn’t wake up until I heard the bathroom door open. I sat back up. Brady walked out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Brady, I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I was irresponsible. I love you and never want to hurt you.”
I could tell he was surprised by this confession, but tried to keep a straight face. “Okay.”
“Are you mad?”
“I’m disappointed.” Brady walked into his closet to get dressed and I waited on the bed for him to come out.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” I asked.
“Nothing. I would ask that you not do it again, but apparently you don’t know what that means,” Brady said. He walked out of the room and I followed him to the kitchen.
“I made lasagna,” I told him.
I made our plates then we sat at the dining table eating. Brady showed me more pictures of the baby (so effing cute) and seemed to be over the situation. But one of the takeaways I took from my Friday session with Laura was to address a problem as soon as I felt it eating at me and eliminate it. And the Kyle situation was eating at me. Specifically Brady’s reaction.
“When you said you were sick of this, what did you mean?” I asked.
Brady looked at me blankly for a moment like he didn’t know what I was talking about. Then he realized and said, “Nothing. It’s fine.”
“It isn’t fine! We are never going to stop fighting if we don’t talk about our issues and eliminate them!” I exclaimed.
He looked down. “You get yourself into really stupid situations. I wish you would think more before you do things instead of having to do damage control afterward.”
“I know. I’m really sorry. I was literally blacked out,” I said.
“I’m sick of you using being drunk as an excuse.”
I blinked. Brady was still looking down, avoiding eye contact. I felt like I was going to cry so I quickly got up and went to our room. I knew crying was dramatic and I had no right to cry so I didn’t want Brady to see me. But obviously he followed me.
“Reese,” he sighed, sounding exasperated.
“I’m fine,” I said. I wiped my tears away and turned around to look at him.
“Why are you crying?” Brady wanted to know.
“I know you’re telling the truth and the truth hurts. I just need to cry for a few minutes if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t want you to cry.”
“I want to.”
Brady laughed and hugged me. Then I cried like a baby.
I told him I am never drinking again.
He said, “You should just learn moderation.”
“What’s that?” I asked. Moderation isn’t a word in my vocabulary as you probably imagine.
But I think I will try it. Maybe limit myself to two drinks and have the people I’m out with hold me to it. The problem is I can’t stop drinking once I start. That’s probably the sign of a serious problem, right? I’ll ask Laura.