Living with Brady full time has been so different. I usually stayed over three to five times a week, but still. It’s going to take some getting used to. I went grocery shopping for us on Wednesday after work because there was literally no food in the house. I decided to go ahead and get the stuff we would need for the Labor Day party since I was already at the store and ended up spending almost $600. It was sickening! That’s two pairs of shoes!
And the other night he asked me to clean something. I don’t know why, but I was so offended. Why was he bossing me around? I was just sitting there working on my laptop with my feet up on the coffee table and Brady came home from work. He went to put his things down and stuff then came back in the living room and said, “Would you mind cleaning up all the stuff off the counters?”
I just stared at him.
Then he said, “I just don’t want it to be a mess when our guests get here.”
Our guests were Carly and Chris and they flew in that night. Brady went to get them from the airport while I made dinner/cleaned. When I heard the door open, I rushed to the door to see my girl.
“Carrrrlllllyyyy!” I squealed when I saw her walk in behind Chris.
“REEEESIIIEEEE!” she screamed back. She dropped her things and we hugged and cried. It was very dramatic.
“I’m so sorry I missed your birthday. Look what I got you!” Carly reached into her purse and pulled out a little bag. I immediately opened it and it was pretty bracelet set from Anthro. She’s so sweet.
After they put all their stuff down, we sat around the dining room eating and catching up. Carly and Chris say they love Philly. Carly is hoping to find a new job soon (she’s like a secretary now and doesn’t feel like she is making a difference in the world).
After we ate we went downstairs. They all wanted to smoke (just like old times!) and I decided to join. We smoked for literally two hours straight. Afterwards, Brady and I made huge bowls of ice cream and sat on the counter eating them.
“This is amazing,” I moaned.
“Not as amazing as you,” Brady said and I beamed.
On Saturday morning I rolled over and checked my phone, only to realize that it was 7:40 and our appointment with the therapist was at 8:00. I screamed.
Brady rolled over and I jumped over him to begin getting ready.
“What are you doing, Reese?” Brady mumbled.
“We have to be there in twenty minutes!” I exclaimed.
He got up and we got ready. We strolled in at 8:25 and I immediately started apologizing to our new therapist. She didn’t look how I was expecting. She was about 5’0 with wide hips and big boobs and huge blue eyes. She couldn’t have been over thirty five or forty and wouldn’t stop smiling.
“Don’t worry about it, Reese,” she said after I apologized for the fifth time. “Let’s get to it, shall we?”
She had me fill out some forms and surveys then we followed her into her office. Brady and I sat on the gray love seat while our therapist (Laura) sat in an oversized armchair adjacent to us.
The first question Laura asked was, “Brady, why are you here?”
I smiled at her. Yes, grill him Laura!
“I’m not really sure… Uh, Reese suggested we come here,” Brady answered.
I turned and stared at him, wide eyed. Seriously?
“We have been fighting a lot more lately so I thought coming here might help us communicate better,” I said.
Laura smiled and nodded. “That doesn’t answer my question though. Brady, why are you here?”
“Oh. Because Reese asked me to come,” he answered.
“You don’t think your relationship needs any improvement?” Laura continued.
“Not really, no.”
I turned and looked at him again. I wanted to strangle him. “Brady.”
“What?” he said, looking back at me defensively.
I was really embarrassed about arguing in front of Laura so I said, “Brady has issues opening up which is a big part of the problem,”
“Brady, if you could change one thing about your relationship with Reese, what would it be?”
“The way she throws a fit whenever she doesn’t get her way about anything,” Brady said.
“So that’s what you would change about Reese. What would you change about your relationship?” Laura smiled.
I wanted to turn and glare at him but decided that I couldn’t get mad because at least he was opening up.
“Reese, what would you change?”
“I wish we had more conversations about our future and more serious stuff in general,” I said.
“Does Brady know that?”
Laura and I both looked at him and he shrugged.
“We do have conversations about our future and stuff but only after we’ve been…partying. I wish he would initiate it under normal circumstances,” I continued.
“Brady, what do you think about that?” Laura asked him.
After a little pause, Brady said, “Honestly, I think it’s really ridiculous that we’re here. It’s completely unnecessary.”
I literally gasped.
“How about this – Brady, let’s chat alone. Reese, will you wait in the reception area? We’ve already spoken briefly, but now I would like to hear from Brady,” Laura said.
I stood up and glanced at Brady and I swear he shot daggers at me. The nerve! I went out into the waiting room fuming. Brady and the therapist talked alone for a whole hour. I sat in one of the chairs watching the door the entire time, waiting for them to come out. I was dying to know what they were talking about.
Finally, the door opened and Brady emerged first. Laura followed him and she was smiling like he had just proposed.
“Hi,” I said.
Laura whispered something to Brady then motioned for me to follow her into her office. So Brady and I basically switched spots. He smiled at me as we walked past each other and I rolled my eyes at him.
“What did you guys talk about?” I asked Laura as soon as we sat down next to each other on the love seat.
She laughed. “I can’t tell you that. It’s confidential.”
Rude. I thought she was supposed to be on my side.
“Reese, I have a question for you,” the shady therapist said.
“Do you love Brady?”
This caught me off guard. I almost didn’t even know what to say.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Laura continued smiling like the psychopath that she is.
“Why do you love him?”
“I don’t know. Because he’s my boyfriend.”
She grabbed my forearm and leaned down close to me, looking concerned. “Seriously. Tell me why.”
I was honestly stumped. Like, I don’t know. I love him because I love him. But I tried to put into words exactly why. I was even curious myself.
“He’s my favorite person to be around. I can be myself and he still accepts me. We can talk all day and night and still have things to talk about. I’ve never met someone I can do that with. I’m not tired of him either and I think that says a lot. I have ADD,” I said.
Laura smiled and leaned down close to me. “I asked Brady the same question about you. What do you think he said?”
“I have no clue!” I blurted out.
She leaned back, looking surprised. “You don’t know why Brady loves you? Do you think he loves you?”
For some reason, I felt myself starting to tear up. I feel like you kind of have to cry in a therapist’s office or your session was useless, but I definitely didn’t plan on it.
“I mean, I hope so.”
“Do you believe he does?”
“He probably said no. I don’t know. I’m a terrible girlfriend,” I said. I started crying. Laura handed me a few tissues like she had been waiting for the dam to break the whole time. I think it’s what she wanted.
“Guilt,” she said.
“No I’m fine,” I said.
“No, you’re obviously very guilty about not being a good partner. I’m glad you recognize it. And I hope we can come up with some solutions today,” Laura said.
“So it’s all my fault.”
“Do you think it’s your fault?”
“I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore.”
“Reese.” At this point Laura was way too close to my face and I could smell the coffee on her breath. “I’m not here to place blame on anyone. I’m here to help you.”
I eyed her.
“So you don’t think Brady loves you. Let’s talk about that,” Laura continued.
“I didn’t even say that. Chill,” I said. Do you see why I was hesitant to see a therapist?
“Let’s do an exercise,” Laura suggested.
And since she kind of pissed me off, I refused. I was being really short and standoffish with her so I decided to just end the session since it was basically ruined.
Brady and I made it almost all the way before even discussing what happened.
“So, how was that?” he asked me.
“Ugh,” I said. I was driving and made an overly wide right turn. Brady had to hold on to the door handle. “Stupid. I’m not going back.”
“Yeah. I didn’t find it helpful,” I explained.
“Oh. I thought she kind of was,” Brady said.
“Probably because she put all the relationship problems on me,” I mumbled.
“Nothing. It was dumb. I’m not going back.”
But maybe it was kind of helpful because Brady and I were super sweet to each other all day. We even made blackberry cheesecake bites together.
On Saturday night, we went to a bar with Carly and Chris, but came home fairly early. On Sunday we had people over for Labor Day (a day early because Chris were flying out early in the morning). Brady manned the grill and I made salsa, guacamole and margaritas. Carly made pot brownies. I was drunk before the first guest even arrived, per usual.
I told Kendra and Carly the therapist story and Kendra said, “Reese, I think you were way too defensive.”
I’m like, “Are you kidding? She tried to call me out!”
“She did not.”
“Carly!” I exclaimed. “Can you imagine if you were in my situation?”
She shook her head with wide eyes like she didn’t want to get involved.
“I wonder what Brady told her,” Kendra said. “He probably made you sound like such a heartless bitch.”
I gasped. “Do you think so?”
“No, I bet he didn’t,” Carly said.
“I just feel like the therapist was being so unfair,” I sniffled.
“We don’t even know what she talked to Brady about,” Carly said.
“What about me?” Brady asked, walking over.
We all stared at each other and didn’t answer. Conversation over.
Oh my gosh, get this. Later on, I was sitting with Brady, Chris, Carly and one of their friends and someone mentioned threesomes. Like in a joking way. Brady said something like, “Not since 2010.”
I was like, “Wait, what?”
And Brady laughed and put his arm around me playfully.
“Wait, you’ve had a threesome?” I whisper-yelled.
He looked at me like I was being ridiculous and said, “Reese.”
Chris said something and Brady started laughing and talking to him, but I grabbed his arm.
“With two girls or two guys?” I asked.
He gave me that look like I was being a Nagging Nancy, but I didn’t even care. I needed answers!
“What do you think?” he asked.
I glared at him. “You’re gross.”
He laughed and went back to talking to his friends. I was shocked and appalled. I feel like I don’t even know him at all. Obviously he’s changed a lot since college.
Guess who texted me on Monday. Andrew! He said his friend has a boat and he was inviting me out on it. I have no idea why he invited me, but I considered it for about five minutes before deciding it wasn’t a good idea.
Plus, one of Brady’s friends was having people over and I needed to escort him there. It was one of those situations where everyone was super intelligent and had sophisticated sounding jobs (a chief dental resident, a financial auditor, an industrial engineer). Like “Hi, I help design pillows, nice to meet you.” I was definitely feeling mediocre/stupid. I even asked one of the girls if her top was J. Crew and she looked at me like I was an idiot and said she had no idea. So I stopped trying to make conversation with them after that.
How was everyone else’s Labor Day? This week is going to be hectic because one of my team members is still on vacation. You never realize how important someone is until they are gone. Speaking of, I need to plan a vacation for next month. Possibly around Halloween. Possibly without my slutty boyfriend (I haven’t had sex with him since finding out about his threesome and I won’t until I get more answers).
Update: I guess I should add this – I know I said I won’t go back to laura, but I’m going to see her alone on Friday morning. I paid for four sessions already so I may as well use them. Hopefully it’s better.