I wish I would have known Brady’s sister in law didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving before we went all the way to San Francisco to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. And Black Friday for that matter. They actually live about an hour away from the airport in the middle of the woods. Kind of like Brady’s parents’ house. Hunter came and picked us up (in a late 90s Range Rover, of course) and informed us that we needed to stop at the “market” to get food, but apparently that meant liquor to get us through the week. We went into the liquor store and all picked out a handle of what we wanted. Guess what I picked!
When we got to the home/cabin/solar powered castle, Hunter’s wife, Dom greeted us at the door. I met Dom last year at Brady’s dad’s party and she was a total bitch to me. So I wasn’t looking forward to seeing her again. She had the baby strapped to her torso and didn’t speak to me or Brady as we walked in.
“Did you get the asparagus?” she demanded. She glared at me and Brady like it was somehow our fault that Hunter forgot the asparagus. Guess we really should have gone to the market.
Hunter took us upstairs to the guest bedroom we would be staying in. Right across from their bedroom.
“You guys get settled in. Me and the wifey are going to make dinner,” he told us.
As soon as Hunter walked out, I said, “I can’t believe he’s still with her. She’s so awful.”
Of course Brady defended Dom and said, “He loves her.”
“She’s mean and I’m not speaking to her this whole trip,” I said.
Brady looked at me like I was being ridiculous so I rolled my eyes and said just kidding. Even though I wasn’t.
I took off my pants and took a nap in the little bed because I was exhausted from traveling. It was literally a dorm room sized bed. Super inconvenient. I’m used to our king sized bed. Brady woke me up a little while later because dinner was ready. I changed into a Free People tunic and fringe Minnetonka ankle boots. Reese-ahontas.
When we got back downstairs Dom was sitting at the table breastfeeding the baby.
“Dinner is served!” Hunter shouted and I couldn’t help thinking he meant Dom’s tits were dinner.
Luckily though, Hunter grilled steaks and potatoes for us. When we sat down to eat, Dom immediately scolded us for still living in a city as corrupt as Chicago. This was the day the cop was arrested for shooting the 17 year old boy.
“Believe me, if I didn’t have this guy, I would be marching with them. Law enforcement is so corrupt. The justice system is so corrupt,” she snarled.
I looked at Brady and Hunter and they didn’t even bother looking up at her. I guess I felt bad that they were ignoring her so is said, “Yeah, it’s really sad.”
“I’m just sick of this shit,” she kept going. “And I’m sick of people talking about how sad and unfortunate it is, but not doing anything about it.” Dom looked pointedly at me.
No wonder Hunter and Brady decided not to say anything at all. After dinner, we sat around playing with the baby, who is so fucking cute by the way. He has Dom’s darker, olive skin with huge blue eyes and light brown hair. I want my kid to look exactly like that.
The next night, the night before Thanksgiving, we all went out. Hunter and Dom have a part time nanny who helps out (even though Dom doesn’t even work) and she just happens to be blonde and super hot. She’s probably only like 19, but still. With all the marriages breaking up because of nannies recently, I wanted to warn Dom to watch her husband. But since she’s a bitch to me, I didn’t say anything.
We ended up at a gay bar downtown. It was totally my scene and naturally I wanted to get super duper drunk so I kept ordering more shots for me and Brady. I started discreetly telling people he was my gay bestie because I thought it was funny. All the guys started introducing themselves to him and asking me if he was available. Brady was super weirded out and uncomfortable, but he had no idea that I told people that. It was entertaining. I grinded my ass on him all night until he got a boner and grabbed my wrists.
“Are you almost ready?” he whispered in my ear.
I nodded my head while sipping my vodka tonic. Brady went to get Hunter and Dom while I closed our tab. On our way out the door, an older guy who was short and bald, grabbed Brady’s ass.
“Dude! I’m not gay!” Brady told him and I practically fell over laughing all the way outside. When I finally pulled myself together and wiped my tears away, I told him the truth.
“I told everyone you were gay,” I explained.
“What? Why would you do that?” Brady exclaimed.
I began laughing. “Because it was funny. All the gays love you!”
Brady grabbed my shoulders and shook me playfully. “I can’t believe you did that. Do I need to prove to you that I’m not gay?”
I nodded happily. When we got back to the house, Hunter and Brady wanted to continue taking shots. Even I was ready to call it a night. I sat there petting Brady until he was ready to go upstairs.
The next morning, we laid in bed with the iPad looking at cookware sets. New pots and pans weren’t a part of our renovation (or budget), but if I’m going to be a cooking wifey then I need new ones. I picked out copper/rose gold ones then got matching dinnerware.
While we were laying there, Brady said, “I know I don’t say it enough, but I really appreciate you.”
I glanced up at him and said, “Aw, thanks. Even though I told everyone you were gay?”
Brady laughed. “Never a dull moment with you.”
I feel like he must have seen how happy Hunter and Dom are and realized that we could be like that if we try. Neither of us share our feelings with each other often enough.
The rest of the day we were really lovey dovey and all over each other. Dom even rolled her eyes and said, “Stop being so extra.”
That night was weird. We all sat around drinking beer and someone suggested we smoke. So we left Dom and the baby inside and went outside to get high. Hunter prepared the joint/cigarette (blunt? I don’t know anything about this stuff) and we passed it around. After my first turn (and choking and coughing up my lung) I could tell something was different. I just figured San Francisco had different weed.
We finished it off and the next thing I remember is spinning around in circles in the backyard. I felt like I was going really, really fast like a dreidel, but then I would see Brady and it was like he was still and not moving, but everything else was still spinning. It was so fucking weird.
Eventually, I collapsed on the ground and started laughing uncontrollably. Brady appeared above me, grabbing my shoulders so I didn’t crack my skull on the concrete. He was saying something, but he sounded really far away and I couldn’t understand him. He tried to lift me up and I made my body limp so he couldn’t lift my deadweight.
“Dude, is she okay?” Hunter shouted from really far away.
Brady grunted in response. After letting him struggle for a little while longer, I started laughing again and got up myself. We ended up in a patio chair with me on Brady’s lap. We started kissing and I thought it would be funny and cute to bite his bottom lip. Apparently I did it too hard.
“Ow! Fuck!” Brady exclaimed. He touched his fingers to his lip and I saw that there was blood. I started sobbing.
“I’m such an awful person. I don’t blame you for hating me!” I cried.
Brady didn’t respond because he was trying to stop his lip from bleeding.
“I’m calling 911,” I declared getting up.
“Reese, don’t,” he said, following me.
Luckily my phone was nowhere to be found. We went inside and I started baking a chocolate cake I found in one of the cabinets. I popped it in the oven and chugged a bottle of water. I finished it in under ten seconds. Brady and I went upstairs and as soon as I sat on the bed I fell asleep.
The next day we had plans of going to a winery so I woke up excited for that. I had kind of forgotten about the night before until Brady told me that Dom was annoyed with me and I should probably apologize when I got a chance. I had no idea why she would possibly be mad at me so I asked.
“Well, you left a cake baking in the oven for two and a half hours and could have burned the house down,” he explained.
“Oh,” I said. “Do they not have any smoke detectors?”
Brady just looked at me. I finished getting ready, putting on my warmest, most boho, hippie outfit ever. I’m going through a boho phase right now.
I avoided Dom the entire day. I could tell she was still annoyed and ignoring me too, but would sometimes make snarky comments. I was sipping on a particular red wine and I complained that it was too bitter.
Dom said, “People like you can never be satisfied.” And she just kept making remarks like that the whole trip.
When we got back home, Dom got inside and snatched the baby from the nanny and immediately opened her shirt to start nursing. She went upstairs and the nanny, Caitlin, stayed and hung out with us for a little while. I wanted to ask her how she stands working for such an evil witch like Dom, but I decided not to. As she was leaving, she told Hunter she would be going on a trip and he said, “Text me and remind me.” Obviously it was totally innocent, but I secretly hoped that they had an affair going on. Then I got mad at myself for thinking something so mean.
We left San Francisco early on Saturday morning. I had fun, but I was beyond ready to get home. Especially because I had like four packages waiting for me.
On Saturday night, even though I was exhausted, I went out with Lexi and some of her friends. I didn’t know it at the time, but she and Kyle fizzled out and now she’s talking to a new guy who we met up with that night. He brought a friend and the friend started making passes at me immediately. And I missed my boyfriend so I ended up going home early.
Brady and I spent all of Sunday decorating the house for Christmas. We spent about $460 on decorations that morning (including a tree) because the place just didn’t feel festive enough.
Decorating is exhausting. I was so tired by the end of it that I ordered a pizza for dinner and fell asleep before it even arrived. I feel like I’m turning into a housewife.
Speaking of, Dale is micromanaging everyone and making us all hate our jobs. Luke is even talking to a recruiter about finding a new one. I’ve always loved my job now and now that I’m not having the same experience, I seriously want to quit. I know I shouldn’t give up that easily (and I won’t), but going to work everyday when you don’t like your job is really hard. I hope Brady proposes soon so we can get married and I can stay home and have a baby. Just kidding.