i’m allowed to have male friends.

I hate work. We hired this new girl who I loved when we interviewed her, but not so much anymore. She started a few weeks ago and I liked her at first because she was sassy and seemed pretty determined to be good at her job (she’s an account exec). People claimed she kind of looked like me, especially from the back. We have the same hair color and length, have similar builds (we are the same height, but she’s shaped like a 12 year old boy whereas I have some curves, obviously). I thought I would take her under my wing, but she (Stacey) was adamant that that wouldn’t happen which is weird because if I was starting a new job I would want someone to do that for me.

One day I asked her where she was in her training and she said, “I’m almost finished. Why?”

Her tone was rude and it caught me off guard. But I still said, “I’m just trying to help. I can be a resource for you, too.”

And she rolled her eyes and stormed off. Can you believe that? I was literally just trying to help.

Another time, I heard her on a call giving out the wrong information so once she hung up I came back and told her the correct information. I was super nice about it, promise, and she goes, “I know what I’m doing, Reese.” Like what a fucking brat.

Still, I didn’t want to be mean to her because we work kind of closely together and I didn’t it to get awkward (hello, Whitney!). I was standing in the break room with Stacey and Luke one day last week and Luke was telling her how he was really intimidated by me at first.

Stacey smirked. “Really? I don’t see why you were intimidated.”

Isn’t that kind of rude? I felt like it was. What point was she trying to make? And then Luke was telling her how hot he thinks Brady is (cuz bae is hot, duh) and Stacey demanded to see a photo. I pulled up a selfie Brady sent me from work where he looks super, super hot and Stacey scrunched her nose up.

“Oh. I expected him to be a lot cuter,” she said.

That’s when I decided that I hate her. It doesn’t help that she and Luke have hit it off and go to lunch together a lot. And she’s always in his Snaps. Maybe I feel like I’ve been replaced which is embarrassingly childish, but I can’t help it. I’m territorial of my friends (and food).

On Thursday, Brady texted me wanting to get drinks after work. I guess he had a long day. So we met at this place near the house and Brady was already there drinking a beer.

“Is there food?” was the first thing I asked.

He handed me a menu and I ordered chips and guac. And a margarita. By the time I finished my second margarita I was angrily telling Brady about how much I hate Stacey.

“She said she doesn’t think you’re hot!” I concluded.

Brady smirked at me. “And you’re mad at her for that?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. He didn’t say anything so I continued. “She’s a huge bitch. I just want a new job.”

“So you want a new job because of some new girl below you?” Brady clarified.

“It’s not just that. I’m unhappy. Everyone sucks now. Can I be a stay at home mom?” I asked.

“No.” Brady laughed. “How can you be a stay at home mom when you aren’t even a mom?”

“Well, when we get a puppy. That’ll require a lot of work,” I sniffled.

“I think you’re being dramatic and rash.”

I glared at him. “I think you’re being insensitive.”

“Fine. Quit your job then,” he said.

We changed the subject after that.

Luke invited me out on Friday night and I felt bad leaving Brady because he’d already made plans for us to order pizza and stay in. He assured me that he didn’t mind so I went anyway. We went to Boystown to dance and get cheap drinks. All the gays gagged over my outfit (high rise flare jeans, lace up crop top) and wanted to spoil me and Luke with fruity drinks. We weren’t complaining.

We ended up running into Preston and his boyfriend, Joe and some of their girl friends.

“Oh my God, you didn’t tell me you were coming here! You’re so fucking cute, I can’t deal!” Preston screamed. We hugged for an entire minute and then ran to the bar to get tequila shots, obviously.

I ended up meeting this Puerto Rican guy named Marco. He was in the bar to pick up his brother, but he was totally, 100% straight. And he was so hot (tame beard, light eyes, muscles and tattoos). I shouldn’t have, but I hung out with him and flirted with him for way too long. None of my friends stopped me. We exchanged numbers then he had to leave to take his brother home.

I had Brady come get me when I had too much to drunk. The bar ran out of the good tequila so we’d settled for some house shit that almost killed me. The next morning I woke up and cracked one eye open. Brady was walking out of the bathroom.

“We should go to Puerto Rico for New Years,” I blurted out.

“Hmm?” Brady said, looking confused.

I remembered that Marco had told me about his extended trip back home to Puerto Rico and encouraged me to go because it’s really cool.

“It’ll be fun,” I said, closing my eyes and falling back asleep.

Brady and I spent all of Saturday at Home Depot picking up shit we need for the house. The place was a zoo and we had to wait around for like two hours to even get any help. I texted Marco the whole time. Before you judge, it was totally innocent. He’s cool. We vibe really well. He reminds me of my ex a little bit, but way more mature and sweet. I think we can be friends – I don’t have any straight male friends! I’m allowed to have male friends.

That night Lindsey came over. I haven’t seen much of her since she moved out, but she likes all my Instagram pictures so I guess there’s no hard feelings. She and Brady always talk about the latest news and I’m always super curious to hear Brady’s views because Brady and I never talk about that stuff. Is that weird? I think it’s because neither of us is really that passionate or opinionated about it. Lindsey is. She’s pretty conservative and always shares stupid articles on Facebook.

I’d finished an entire bottle of wine by myself so after Lindsey left, I made Brady tell me the story of him losing his virginity.

“Ugh, why?” he groaned.

“I just want to knowwww, Brady bae,” I said.

He paused for a moment as if debating telling me. Then he said, “I was a sophomore in high school and this older girl had a crush on me.”

“Was she cute?” I interjected.

“She was all right. Blonde,” he said.

“She sounds hideous.”

Brady laughed. “Yeah. She would always hit on me. I wasn’t into her, but my friends said I should go for it – that she obviously wanted to…sleep with me.”

I regretted asking him, but I needed to hear the end of the story.

“So we did one night. At a party.”

“How was it?” I had to know.

“Nothing special. I didn’t last very long.”

“How long did you last?!”

“I don’t know. A couple minutes?”

I gasped. Then I laughed. Brady glared at me.

“That’s so precious! Let me see her!” I exclaimed.

“Um…I don’t have a picture of her,” he said.

“Facebook! Use my phone!” I pulled up Facebook, logged out and handed Brady my phone.

I waited a few minutes until he finally turned the phone around and showed me this blonde bombshell. She was seriously really hot. She looks like Miss America. So I was mad at him for claiming she was just “all right” and that he’d had sex with a hot girl. So I grabbed my phone and got in bed. Brady stayed up and hung out while I texted my new BFF, Marco, who I love. He’s so real, you know? I sometimes feel like I’m living in some fantasy land and Brady lets me believe it. Marco somehow brings me back to reality.

The next morning, Brady and I went to church with Kendra and John. Afterwards, we went to brunch and ordered a pitcher of white peach mimosas. So yummy. I think I finished an entire pitcher by myself.

“I want to go shopping!” I demanded when we left brunch.

“Really? What do you need?” Brady asked.

“Everything! Take me to Nordstrom!” I said.

“Reese, no. You don’t need to go shopping.”

“Please? Please? Puh-leeeeze!” I whined. “Just drop me off. I’ll find a way home.”

Brady literally refused to take me to Nordstrom so I went home and cried then ordered a ton of stuff from Nordstrom.com. Take that! I went to Facebook on my phone and realized that Brady was still logged in. I started scrolling through his newsfeed then I went to his messages because obviously that’s where all the juice was. The first two messages were from girls whose names and faces I didn’t recognize. I suddenly felt really bad for snooping so I logged out before reading anything. See how much I’ve changed! I’m dying to know who he’s talking to and about what.

We have a work group chat and tonight we were all talking about what we were going to bring for our work holiday party next week. I said I would make a cheesecake and Stacey said, “Reese, can you even bake?” And added an annoying emoji. Luke replied, “LOL,” and I wanted to kill both of them. Maybe I was being too sensitive but it really pissed me off. I can’t fucking stand her. I’m quitting.

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36 thoughts on “i’m allowed to have male friends.

  1. e says:

    she seems like a bitch. I mean she’s really going out of her way to be rude. I mean she just started working so she could’ve been a whole lot more polite about everything. 😁

    I don’t trust Brady so I think he’s always shady when he is talking to random girls and not saying anything about it but maybe they’re coworkers?
    is he allowed to have girl friends besides Lindsay? I mean now you have a new guy friend, so I guess it’s alright? it was super nice of you not to snoop though! hahah

    • I agree.. she’s really rude and I’ve given her no reason to be! of course Brady is allowed to have girl friends. I’m sure the messages were innocent, I’m just really curious about it.

  2. Danielle says:

    To me it sounds like Stacey is making a bunch of really snide passive aggressive comments directed at you that no one else is noticing yet…. I’m not sure if this is the most mature response on my part, but I would subtly/not so subtly remind her that she reports into you next time she makes a comment. Otherwise you could talk to whoever about maybe letting her go? Her attitude of “I already know what I’m doing” after two weeks is the kind of attitude that normally doesn’t last long in a company.

    Proud of you for not snooping through Brady’s Facebook though! You’ve come so far. Does Marco know you have a bf?

  3. You definitely intimidate her, and she’s being bitchy because of it. Which is an insane thing to do at a new job. I wouldn’t worry about her and Luke, I think her passive agressiveness will make him get sick of her pretty quickly.
    Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having male friends as long as Brady knows about Marco and Marco knows about Brady and everyone is transparent about everything. It’s just when you start hiding things that you’re doing something wrong.

      • Jenny says:

        Could it be that you are making a mountain out of a molehill? If Luke doesn’t see the issue and thinks you are being a baby could it be that he is right? Maybe you’re making things worse than they are because as you admitted you’re annoyed that Luke is spending time with her and not you. Since this blog is from your perspective we don’t know the full story.

  4. Amanda says:

    I’ve had that person at work and everyone else thought she was “awesome”. Eventually though, finally everyone else saw the light. Don’t respond to her pettiness – she feeds off the drama.If you need to critique any of her work etc do it by email so that words can’t be twisted.
    As for Marco – I hope he knows you have a bf. There is nothing wrong with having male friends as long as everything is in the open.
    PS – you are stronger than I am for not snooping!

  5. Gurrrrrrl says:

    GURL – you have got to watch the flirting. remember your last fight with brady when he got pissed and told you that the dude only wanted to bang you? that guy you met on the plane i think…If YOU acknowledge that it was flirting, then Brady is gonna flip

  6. Carolina says:

    A few things. The way you describe Stacy. Body like a 12 year old while you have curves. Could it be you’re intimidated because she hangs around Luke now? How is it that one person could have issues with so many and not realize that they are probably the problem since they are the common denominator. Whitney, new manager, new girl. So what if she doesn’t want to emulate you? Seems like she is looking to do what’s best for her career which doesn’t include slacking off and gossiping with you.

    I think it’s screwed up that you gave your number to the guy and have been chatting with him. Does he know you have a boyfriend that you live with? I doubt it because you like the attention of other men way too much. You keep sneaking around and it will come back and bite you in the ass.

    And then you make Brady tell you stories from his past only to get butt hurt because you’re insecure. Who the hell cares about who their boyfriend lost his virginity to? Then you want to see a pic of the woman? What’s wrong with you? Your comments at dinner about Brady being insensitive when he shot down your idea of being a stay at home mom .. Childish.

    You’ve mentioned how you have a ton of credit card debt because you just have to have a new purse, shoe, etc so when Brady (a saver who seems concerned about your spending and how you view money) says no you go home and rack up a huge bill. Way to be mature and responsible. You do know with the outrageous interest rates and paying these bills off in time you’re probably paying 40 percent more than if you had purchased what you could afford. Reese you have a ton of growing up to do.

    • I already said that I don’t like her hanging out with Luke. intimidated? no. I have no reason to be intimidated by a little girl. I just think she’s a bitch. also, I am not the problem. I’m just outspoken and I think other people would let things slide and I’m not that kind of person. I want to know everything about Brady’s life and past. if he didn’t want to tell me, he would not have. it isn’t a big deal!

  7. Amber says:

    Had to laugh when I read about you asking Brady for his virginity story! I have grilled my husband on all of his past girlfriends – he always reminds me that I am the one that he chose to marry and sometimes he messes with me by making up ridiculous things he has done with exes!
    As for the new girl at work – ugh! She sounds so annoying! I would just ignore her as much as possible. Cannot believe you didn’t read Brady’s messages from those girls!!!!! Now I am so curious, haha. I am sure they are work friends but next time be sure to read them! (Just kidding – sort of!)

    • I am just so curious about Brady’s past relationships.. especially after meeting Anna and seeing how different she is than me. I try to ignore Stacey, but she’s always around. ugh.

  8. The girl at work sucks and I’ve dealt with that situation too many times to not be able to tell you that SHE is intimidated by YOU, especially because you’re senior to her. People, especially women, have really odd ways of showing their insecurities at work. I would ignore her as much as possible because when she needs help, she will come grovelling to you.

    Re: exchanging numbers with that guy– I cannot tell you how many times I’ve done that. Although when you switch the situation and you realize you’d be pissed if Brady was doing it, for some reason you just continue to converse with someone regardless of whether or not they know you have a significant other. It doesn’t make you a bad person, doesn’t invalidate your feelings for Brady, it’s just a weird behavior that I’ve struggled with as well. I say do your thing and stay as honest as possible.

  9. Luita says:

    Honestly I think Stacy is intimidated by you because of the way she’s acting. But don’t let her bring you down, just do your thing at work. If she continues acting like that others will start to notice, you just continue being nice to her.
    I understand having a new male friend, but do you have to text that much? Does he know you have a boyfriend? Cheating doesn’t always happen that you find someone and you have sex with them right away. Cheating starts innocently sometimes, you start talking to someone of the opposite sex and confide in them, start finding things in common maybe one day you complain to them about your partner and they do the same, you start talking about things that you don’t tell your partner. I feel like it shouldn’t feel more real talking to a guy you just met than talking to your boyfriend…… Just be careful I’m not saying all guys could want from you is sex, but you did meet this guy at a club, he didn’t look at you and say “she would be a great pen pal”, there’s a reason he started talking to you and I bet you it wasn’t innocent.

    • I get that, but I think if I talk to any other friend a lot, why is it a bad thing if I talk to a guy friend a lot? I’m making it as normal as possible. I text Luke all day everyday.

      • Jenny says:

        As a manager you cannot be texting your employee all day, going out drinking with him or getting that close. Your inadvertently creating a conflict of interest. You can go on and on about texting Marco being innocent but I 100% agree with Luita. if there was nothing but friendship why not tell him your in a relationship and open up and tell Brady all about Marco? He is just your friend and both of you know that so there’s nothing to hide from Brady.

      • I totally get what you’re saying about not getting too close with my employees but Luke and I work very close together anyway. and it isn’t like I’m unfair to anyone because of it – Luke is the only one in his position.

      • Jenny says:

        Even though no one else reports to you , behaving like this with Luke makes you look unprofessional. Think about Diane. She was at the top of her game and kept it professional with everyone. She was your manager but she wasn’t texting you all day or spending nights drinking with you. She didn’t come crying to you about personal issues. She kept a professional relationship and led by example. That’s what a manager does. Behaving how you do with Luke makes you look unprofessional especially to senior management.

    • Luita says:

      I don’t know if I would go as far as saying that hanging out with Luke is inappropriate, I guess it all depends on the office dynamics. Diana wasn’t close to Reese’s age like Luke is so I see why they didn’t hang out. I work in a cancer center and we’ve gone on happy hours with one of the doctors we work with. Our nursing supervisor hangs out with a couple of girls on the weekends and I don’t think that’s wrong.
      If you can tell Brady that you are talking to Marco and show him the texts without feeling guilty then continue to do it. Ultimately only you know what’s best for your relationship, I’m just asking you to be careful.

      • Jenny says:

        Happy hours and getting together every now and then are fine. I have three people that report to me, all around my age but I try to keep it professional as possible. Yes we talk about our lives and grab a drink every now and then but I don’t text them all day and divulge every detail of my life. With Luke Reese is constantly hanging out with him and it appears unprofessional. What happens if she has to reprimand him? Reese’s rebuttal that everyone knows Luke grabs lunch with Stacey and not her is irrelevant because I am sure that even though no one says anything they know what’s going on. Diana kept it professional in that at work everyone knew that she was in charge and knew that there was no favoritism. Work was work. She focused on the task at hand and left the socializing to a minimum which is needed to climb the corporate ladder. Hanging out with your direct report every day, grabbing drinks with him, texting all day, gossiping and confiding in him about everything is not appropriate employee-manager relationship in my opinion or in my field.

  10. amy says:

    Even if texts are totally innocent, they can still kinda mean something if you text so often. I have a lot of close platonic guy friends, but they definitely don’t text me thaaaat much unless one of them starts liking me. Does this guy know you have a serious boyfriend?

    • of course he knows I have a boyfriend. so I can have male friends and text them but not too frequently because that might mean he likes me? got it! I don’t really have male friends so I don’t know.

  11. Angie says:

    She probably doesn’t like you from all the shit people at your office have told her about you. You should probably think about that. Would you like her if you heard those things about her? No, you wouldn’t. And for you to act like you’re so much bette than her bc you have “curves” and she doesn’t. Wow. Looks only get you so far in life and clearly that’s pretty much all you’ve got going for yourself. You aren’t very smart and you only care about yourself and you buy expensive things to make you look like you have something. Materialistic shit. That’s all you have. You hate her bc she doesn’t think your BF is cute. Like come on. To you he’s only good for his looks. He’s way too smart to be with you.

  12. L says:

    Hi Reese,
    I don’t really post on here but I read all the time and I have a few things to say now!

    1. Other people have said this before, but you definitely have matured since you’ve started this blog. Also, the way you take shit like a champ in the comments is amazing and I think that it’s brave that you open yourself up to such harsh criticism.

    2. Also, I’m sure this has been said before many times… I think you’d be much happier without Brady. This post shows you’re really making efforts to trust him and respect his decisions, but I don’t think he generally shows the same trust and respect. It’s also incredibly weird/shady that you don’t know a ton about his past and he doesn’t like to talk about it. I get not wanting to talk about shit like that but it’s necessary in a serious relationship.

    Thanks for posting, I always enjoy reading!!!

  13. Amanda says:

    I trust my husband 100% and I know hes a good guy…however I don’t honestly know everything about his past. To him its the past and its not important to us. Ive done the same thing as Reese and tried to get info because I think it gives me some insight to him (and I’m nosy). However he doesn’t give up info but I don’t think its because its anything bad – just uncomfortable because he wouldn’t want to ever hurt me by allowing me to picture him with others,
    I don’t get why people come here and bash Reese. I understand they may not like some of her choices or the way she lives her life. But the blog is honest and real life. Why keep coming back and reading about someone who you seem to think so little of?

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