I hate work. We hired this new girl who I loved when we interviewed her, but not so much anymore. She started a few weeks ago and I liked her at first because she was sassy and seemed pretty determined to be good at her job (she’s an account exec). People claimed she kind of looked like me, especially from the back. We have the same hair color and length, have similar builds (we are the same height, but she’s shaped like a 12 year old boy whereas I have some curves, obviously). I thought I would take her under my wing, but she (Stacey) was adamant that that wouldn’t happen which is weird because if I was starting a new job I would want someone to do that for me.
One day I asked her where she was in her training and she said, “I’m almost finished. Why?”
Her tone was rude and it caught me off guard. But I still said, “I’m just trying to help. I can be a resource for you, too.”
And she rolled her eyes and stormed off. Can you believe that? I was literally just trying to help.
Another time, I heard her on a call giving out the wrong information so once she hung up I came back and told her the correct information. I was super nice about it, promise, and she goes, “I know what I’m doing, Reese.” Like what a fucking brat.
Still, I didn’t want to be mean to her because we work kind of closely together and I didn’t it to get awkward (hello, Whitney!). I was standing in the break room with Stacey and Luke one day last week and Luke was telling her how he was really intimidated by me at first.
Stacey smirked. “Really? I don’t see why you were intimidated.”
Isn’t that kind of rude? I felt like it was. What point was she trying to make? And then Luke was telling her how hot he thinks Brady is (cuz bae is hot, duh) and Stacey demanded to see a photo. I pulled up a selfie Brady sent me from work where he looks super, super hot and Stacey scrunched her nose up.
“Oh. I expected him to be a lot cuter,” she said.
That’s when I decided that I hate her. It doesn’t help that she and Luke have hit it off and go to lunch together a lot. And she’s always in his Snaps. Maybe I feel like I’ve been replaced which is embarrassingly childish, but I can’t help it. I’m territorial of my friends (and food).
On Thursday, Brady texted me wanting to get drinks after work. I guess he had a long day. So we met at this place near the house and Brady was already there drinking a beer.
“Is there food?” was the first thing I asked.
He handed me a menu and I ordered chips and guac. And a margarita. By the time I finished my second margarita I was angrily telling Brady about how much I hate Stacey.
“She said she doesn’t think you’re hot!” I concluded.
Brady smirked at me. “And you’re mad at her for that?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed. He didn’t say anything so I continued. “She’s a huge bitch. I just want a new job.”
“So you want a new job because of some new girl below you?” Brady clarified.
“It’s not just that. I’m unhappy. Everyone sucks now. Can I be a stay at home mom?” I asked.
“No.” Brady laughed. “How can you be a stay at home mom when you aren’t even a mom?”
“Well, when we get a puppy. That’ll require a lot of work,” I sniffled.
“I think you’re being dramatic and rash.”
I glared at him. “I think you’re being insensitive.”
“Fine. Quit your job then,” he said.
We changed the subject after that.
Luke invited me out on Friday night and I felt bad leaving Brady because he’d already made plans for us to order pizza and stay in. He assured me that he didn’t mind so I went anyway. We went to Boystown to dance and get cheap drinks. All the gays gagged over my outfit (high rise flare jeans, lace up crop top) and wanted to spoil me and Luke with fruity drinks. We weren’t complaining.
We ended up running into Preston and his boyfriend, Joe and some of their girl friends.
“Oh my God, you didn’t tell me you were coming here! You’re so fucking cute, I can’t deal!” Preston screamed. We hugged for an entire minute and then ran to the bar to get tequila shots, obviously.
I ended up meeting this Puerto Rican guy named Marco. He was in the bar to pick up his brother, but he was totally, 100% straight. And he was so hot (tame beard, light eyes, muscles and tattoos). I shouldn’t have, but I hung out with him and flirted with him for way too long. None of my friends stopped me. We exchanged numbers then he had to leave to take his brother home.
I had Brady come get me when I had too much to drunk. The bar ran out of the good tequila so we’d settled for some house shit that almost killed me. The next morning I woke up and cracked one eye open. Brady was walking out of the bathroom.
“We should go to Puerto Rico for New Years,” I blurted out.
“Hmm?” Brady said, looking confused.
I remembered that Marco had told me about his extended trip back home to Puerto Rico and encouraged me to go because it’s really cool.
“It’ll be fun,” I said, closing my eyes and falling back asleep.
Brady and I spent all of Saturday at Home Depot picking up shit we need for the house. The place was a zoo and we had to wait around for like two hours to even get any help. I texted Marco the whole time. Before you judge, it was totally innocent. He’s cool. We vibe really well. He reminds me of my ex a little bit, but way more mature and sweet. I think we can be friends – I don’t have any straight male friends! I’m allowed to have male friends.
That night Lindsey came over. I haven’t seen much of her since she moved out, but she likes all my Instagram pictures so I guess there’s no hard feelings. She and Brady always talk about the latest news and I’m always super curious to hear Brady’s views because Brady and I never talk about that stuff. Is that weird? I think it’s because neither of us is really that passionate or opinionated about it. Lindsey is. She’s pretty conservative and always shares stupid articles on Facebook.
I’d finished an entire bottle of wine by myself so after Lindsey left, I made Brady tell me the story of him losing his virginity.
“Ugh, why?” he groaned.
“I just want to knowwww, Brady bae,” I said.
He paused for a moment as if debating telling me. Then he said, “I was a sophomore in high school and this older girl had a crush on me.”
“Was she cute?” I interjected.
“She was all right. Blonde,” he said.
“She sounds hideous.”
Brady laughed. “Yeah. She would always hit on me. I wasn’t into her, but my friends said I should go for it – that she obviously wanted to…sleep with me.”
I regretted asking him, but I needed to hear the end of the story.
“So we did one night. At a party.”
“How was it?” I had to know.
“Nothing special. I didn’t last very long.”
“How long did you last?!”
“I don’t know. A couple minutes?”
I gasped. Then I laughed. Brady glared at me.
“That’s so precious! Let me see her!” I exclaimed.
“Um…I don’t have a picture of her,” he said.
“Facebook! Use my phone!” I pulled up Facebook, logged out and handed Brady my phone.
I waited a few minutes until he finally turned the phone around and showed me this blonde bombshell. She was seriously really hot. She looks like Miss America. So I was mad at him for claiming she was just “all right” and that he’d had sex with a hot girl. So I grabbed my phone and got in bed. Brady stayed up and hung out while I texted my new BFF, Marco, who I love. He’s so real, you know? I sometimes feel like I’m living in some fantasy land and Brady lets me believe it. Marco somehow brings me back to reality.
The next morning, Brady and I went to church with Kendra and John. Afterwards, we went to brunch and ordered a pitcher of white peach mimosas. So yummy. I think I finished an entire pitcher by myself.
“I want to go shopping!” I demanded when we left brunch.
“Really? What do you need?” Brady asked.
“Everything! Take me to Nordstrom!” I said.
“Reese, no. You don’t need to go shopping.”
“Please? Please? Puh-leeeeze!” I whined. “Just drop me off. I’ll find a way home.”
Brady literally refused to take me to Nordstrom so I went home and cried then ordered a ton of stuff from Nordstrom.com. Take that! I went to Facebook on my phone and realized that Brady was still logged in. I started scrolling through his newsfeed then I went to his messages because obviously that’s where all the juice was. The first two messages were from girls whose names and faces I didn’t recognize. I suddenly felt really bad for snooping so I logged out before reading anything. See how much I’ve changed! I’m dying to know who he’s talking to and about what.
We have a work group chat and tonight we were all talking about what we were going to bring for our work holiday party next week. I said I would make a cheesecake and Stacey said, “Reese, can you even bake?” And added an annoying emoji. Luke replied, “LOL,” and I wanted to kill both of them. Maybe I was being too sensitive but it really pissed me off. I can’t fucking stand her. I’m quitting.