I’m sorry about the lack of posts lately. Being a mom is hard – a lot harder than I thought it would be. He’s always wanting to go outside and use the restroom and eat and play. It’s exhausting, but it’s fun. Brady told a bunch of people at work about Tucker and how he was looking for a permanent home for him and one of his coworkers said she wanted him to give to her granddaughter. When Brady told me that he might have found a home for Tucker, I threw a tantrum and cried. Because that’s mean. You can’t just give someone’s child away.
Anyway, I have so much to catch y’all up on. I went out with Luke and Stacey the other night. I’d agreed to go before I knew Stacey was invited and I thought maybe we all might have fun, especially if alcohol was involved. So we got dinner and drinks with this other girl we work with. The entire meal kind of felt like a competition between me and Stacey. She kept interrupting my stories and trying to talk over me and it was just super uncalled for. Eventually I just ignored her.
Brady was out with Lindsey and some of their guy friends so we met up with them at the bar. They were waiting for us and naturally I ran over excitedly because that’s bae. Stacey completely ignored Brady and Lindsey and their friends until she found out that Lindsey works for the company she’s trying to work for. So she started asking a ton of questions.
I leaned over to Brady and said, “See how rude she is?”
He shushed me as if I was being loud and she would hear me. I rolled my eyes. “She sucks and I hate her.”
Brady ordered a round of shots for all of us, like that was going to help us get along better. After we took the shot Stacey came sauntering over.
“Reese, is this your boyfriend?” she asked sweetly.
“No, this is a look alike I just found,” I answered sarcastically.
Stacey ignored my comment and reached around me to give Brady a side hug. So unnecessary. She started talking to him about our office and work and stuff and I just stood there sipping my drink. Brady is so polite and patient. I knew he didn’t give a shit what the girl was talking about.
I had stopped listening to their conversation until Stacey grinned devilishly at me. “Reese is so lucky though. She doesn’t have to do all the bitch work we have to do. She doesn’t really have to do anything.”
“Ugh, shut up, Stacey,” I couldn’t help saying. “You have no idea what I do.”
She burst out laughing like I was joking. Obviously I wasn’t.
Brady grabbed my hip and said, “Don’t.”
Stacey turned back around to order a drink and I pulled away from Brady.
“Don’t what? Why do you always take my enemies side?” I said.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, Reese. I don’t want you to be angry right now. Just chill out,” Brady said calmly.
So I decided to go back to ignoring Stacey since she was being deliberately annoying. Luckily she stayed away until it was time to go. We all headed outside and she stopped everyone so she could take a group selfie for Snapchat.
“Brady, what’s your Snapchat?” she asked.
Before Brady could even open his mouth I replied, “He doesn’t have one,” like a jealous psycho wife. I didn’t even care.
Stacey giggled and walked away. She clinged on to Lindsey after that and insisted they exchange numbers. Obviously Stacey just wanted help getting a job and it really annoyed me. But Lindsey seemed okay with it so whatever.
Dale and I have been sparring constantly. I know I should just let him do his job and keep quiet, but he sucks. He doesn’t work efficiently and has the worst ideas ever. He’s always complaining about our budget and how we need to cut costs anywhere and everywhere we can. So of course, I’ve been being super modest with my AmEx, I made someone part time instead of full time (she wanted to go back to school so it was fine), I’ve been working my tail off trying to source cheaper manufacturers and really going out of my way to help cut costs. Then Dale goes out and hires FIVE new people for various positions around the office. Two executive assistants, an HR generalist, an inventory manager and some other job I can’t even think of because it’s so ridiculous.
After our third new person walked in introducing themselves, I found Dale and asked him what was going on with all these new people and how they fit in with our budget.
He smiled condescendingly. “Reese, we’re always trying to be as budget conscious as we can, but if things need to get done, they have to get done. We can’t sacrifice everything just to save money.”
I thought that was a completely fair argument and decided to continue doing my job as normal, but still trying to be aware of our budget (I get my own budget that was given to me by Dave and I’ve never even gotten close to maxing it). But one day Dale cornered me in the hallway and said, “Let’s talk.”
I’m like, “Okay, what’s up?”
He took me in his office and pulled out my AmEx statement which he had marked up with a highlighter and red pen. He proceeded to question me about every expense and lecture me about our company budget (not my own budget which I still haven’t gotten close to).
I said, “Maybe you should confiscate my American Express and I’ll just bug you every time I need something?”
Dale laughed. “Do you think I have time to babysit you? But I want a detailed expense report at the end of each day for the next two weeks until we can get this under control.”
As if that isn’t babysitting.
Since Dale and I were butting heads a lot, I tried to avoid him and just communicate with him through his new assistant, Vanessa. It sounds immature, but I just can’t stand even looking at him. I catch him walking around the office all the time, just observing everyone and not doing anything. Then he will tell Vanessa to write down this huge list of things that need to get done, not do any of it and not follow up that any of it gets done. He’s just not effective.
Now I usually come home and pour a glass of wine and get in bed with Tucker. So depressing. At least Brady’s been nice. He can tell how unhappy I’ve been so he usually comes home with some sort of treat. Well, that and we got in a fight one day because a girl at work brought him lunch so he had to make up for that. Am I allowed to be annoyed by that? Is she calling me a bad wife? This girl literally made food specifically to bring for Brady. I threw a fit, naturally.
“Did you tell her you don’t eat at home? Does she feel bad for you?” I demanded.
“Of course not! She’s half Vietnamese and wanted me to try a traditional Vietnamese dish,” Brady said.
“We could have gone to a Vietnamese restaurant! She just wanted to flirt with you. You’re so naive,” I said, then I had a thought. “You’re so cultured, do you expect me to believe you’ve never had Vietnamese food?”
“I have. It’s not a big deal, Reese. I think she’s engaged,” he said.
“You think? How do you not know?”
“She has a ring, but I mean, I didn’t ask…”
“So obviously you don’t talk about me either. Unbelievable, Brady. Unbelievable.”
Anyway, after that Brady came home everyday with treats for me and Tucker. Chocolate, froyo, Rice Krispy treats, wine, US Weekly, etc. It’s like our thing now. We greet him at the door with our hands out.
Thursday was Brady’s birthday so I threw him an ugly sweater party. Most of our friends weren’t even in town, but I still thought it would be fun. I made cookies and Jell-O shots for the occasion.
Carly and Chris were the first to arrive at 2:30 PM. They’re home for the holidays.
“I think Chris is going to propose!” was one of the first things Carly whispered in my ear.
I jerked my head toward her. “What? How do you know?”
She was grinning from ear to fucking ear. “He’s just been acting all nervous and weird. Has he said anything to Brady?”
I shook my head. “Brady hasn’t told me anything. Chris hasn’t even asked me for permission or my opinion on a ring.”
“He knows what kind of ring I want. I’ve sent him pictures,” Carly blushed.
“Wait, so you’ve talked about it?”
“Kind of. I told him that I want to be engaged within the next two or three years.”
“And what did he say?”
I started thinking that maybe I should give Brady a timeline too. I made a note to ask him what his thoughts and ideas were.
Brady ended up getting super drunk which I loved because it was his birthday. He deserves to get drunk. He kept insisting I keep drinking because he didn’t want to be the only one drunk.
“Am I the only one who’s drunk? I’m so embarrassed. Babe, why did you let me drink this much?” Brady said. It was so presh.
But he did end up performing Back to Back by Drake which was the highlight of everyone’s night. I had no idea that Brady even knew that song. He’s more of a Rooney kind of a guy.
We both woke up hungover as fuck on Christmas. I wanted to die. Brady, who always handles hangovers and alcohol in general better than me, got up and made waffles and we sat at the table to eat.
I couldn’t wait to open gifts because over the last few weeks the number of gifts under our tree kept growing and growing. I think we just kept trying to one-up each other. One of the gifts I got for Brady he knew about because he had to install it himself. He’s been talking about wanting a new tv for the basement for a while so I just got him one. I literally walked into Best Buy and told the sales guy to help me pick out the largest and nicest tv they had. So he talked me into this really cool new curved tv for optimum viewing. Loved it.
I also got him a cute leather planner even though he doesn’t use a planner, new bedding, a Burberry tie, several pairs of fun socks, an All Saints jacket and a watch. I love giving gifts. Especially to Brady because he always appreciates it (except if I bought it with his own money, obviously). Plus I want to mold him so he looks less Banana Republic and more like my boyfriend. Not sorry!
Oh. Marco got me a Christmas gift. I haven’t gotten it yet because I haven’t seen him. I told him that he didn’t have to get me anything (especially because I haven’t gotten him anything), but he insists that he wants me to have it. I mean, I’m not going to turn down a gift so.
Anyway, I’m so happy to be off for the rest of the week. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with Dale? I’ve tried really hard to go in to the office each day with a happy open mind, but now I’m ready to jump off a bridge. Or at least quit. I’m already dreading going back. Help.
36 thoughts on “is she calling me a bad wife?”
Stacy is a bitch, I don’t like her. And I’m just like you it bugs me when my friends don’t hate my enemies! But I think Brady just wants you to be the bigger person and not stoop down to her level.
Reese I really like you and I promise I’m not judging you. But do you really think it’s ok to get mad at Brady cause someone at work brought him food when you have a guy you are texting that bought you a Christmas gift? If you trust your friendship with Marco is just that, then why can’t Brady have a girl friend too?
So, what did you get for Christmas? Did Chris propose?
Brady got me a necklace that I picked out, a pair of boots that I picked out, various items from my Sephora wishlist, an LV card holder, a book and a bunch of chocolate. chris did not propose! I would’ve died if he did, omg.
Hahaha I love that you added ‘that I picked out’ onto the presents! I had an awesome Christmas (presents-wise) because my husband got me everything that I picked out myself! It’s just better that way haha
Brady picks out really great gifts for me, but there were some specific things I really wanted. made it easier for him and he still did well!
I would schedule a meeting with Dale and ask him if there is something that you personally did to upset him. Ask him what you can do to make yourself a more efficient and valuable member to HIS team. And go into the meeting with a list of things you have been doing to be more efficient and budget-conscious. I think he would really respect you for doing that. Right now it just seems like you’re being a petty little girl because your bff Diana left. But if you go to him, you can show him that you’re open to change and willing to discuss ways to make things run better. Diana probably told him about you before she left, so he is going to come in ready for attitude from you. Don’t give it to him. I bet it will shock the shit out of him if you do what I suggest.
that’s a really good idea, try and give him another approach and maybe he will soften up to you! but overall he seems like a dick 😦
also that Stacy girl is such a bitch I can’t even. my fiancé is the same way (as Brady) when I’m gonna get into an argument with randoms, which drives me crazy because it feels like he is taking his side but he probably just doesn’t want me to stoop down or is playing devils advocate and try to get me to see a different POV in some regard
WHAT DID BRADY GET YOU!!!
ps. don’t think you should take the present from that guy, does Brady even know about his existence? I don’t think that viet girl meant anything by the food, I think Asian people are just really polite like that (or the ones I’ve met 😊 )
need more updates!
yes, I’ve told Brady about Marco. it’s all good, don’t worry! I won’t accept the gift though, y’all are right, it’s so hypocritical.
I’ve done that. I used to go to him everyday and ask what I could do to help him and he would just talk about how much he needed to do and not actually want my help. it’s frustrating and that’s why i just do my own thing.
Ughhh I was just so pissed off reading this. Who does dale report to? Is there an anonymous tip line you could have everyone report him to lol. Sounds like he does jack shit, wants to spend money while having you guys cut money so he can spend more!
And you should have lindsey put in a good word for stacey, her leaving would be awesome
I guess technically Dale reports to Dave, the director, but Dave refuses to believe the office is anything other than perfect. so irritating.
Aren’t you a director?
our office hierarchy and positions have changed so technically no.
Oh the hipocracy! So you get mad because a woman brings Brady food but it’s okay that you’re texting and accepting gifts from Marco? I don’t know how Brady puts up with the tantrums you throw all the time. I feel for him because you give him shit for everything yet you do whatever you want. It’s unfair to him. you want to set a timetable for your relationship but you don’t seem completely committed. You seek male attention. You’re texting Marco behind Brady’s back knowing fully well what his intentions are. You expect these daily presents now and honestly a part from Christmas what have you done to show Brady you appreciate him. Sex doesn’t count.
Regarding Stacy I find it interesting that Brady and Luke don’t see a problem. She gets along with Lindsay and everyone else but you. I think you’re making a big deal over nothing. You want attention and you’re jealous that Stacy is hanging with Luke. You’re no longer his go to person and you feel left out so you find a way to make Stacy to be this terrible person all the time. That’s going to get old fast.
A spending budget is for business expenses. Dale is probably right to challenge some of the charges. You have not written about professional business lunches or traveling for business so what exactly are you using the corporate card for? Just because you have a spending limit does not mean you can use that card for your own personal benefit. I get the feeling that you don’t like change and have been so use to Diana letting you do whatever without supervision that you’re finding ways to bitch about Dale. He’s in charge now and you need to accept that. If you can’t then move on.
I agree with sooooome of what you wrote, but you do know that business cards are used for expenses other than travel and meals, right? Recruiting, samples, office supplies, etc… I highly doubt Reese is using the card for personal benefit.
At most companies the individual employee does not charge business cards on their corporate card. The admins order and charge to the company. Same with office supplies. These are taken care of by the office manager. Even if Reese had to buy on her own the cost would be minimal. Recruiting? She’s not hiring or seeking to hire anyone. I have a feeling that Reese charges personal items on her corporate card from previous posts. We had a guy at my company charge dinners with his girlfriend on his corporate card. He claimed he was under budget when questioned too. He ended up having to repay the company for goose charges.
lol, i’ve accidentally used my work credit card for personal purchases before and got in big trouble. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that again. any supplies I need for work though, I am allowed to charge.why else would they give me one?
Come on Caroline… you know I was giving examples, hence the recruiting, office supplies, etc. Reese is in management, so she likely does use her card for materials and samples for presentations and what not. Insinuating someone is a thief isn’t cool.
thank you, I would never just go shopping with my company credit card. can’t believe people would even think that.
Wow jenny, do you work with Reese? Because if not you are making a lot of assumptions there, and I think that just makes you an ass.
I work in the medical field so I don’t even pretend to know what Reese’s job is all about and what her expenses could be. And if she were talking all about what she does at work all day I would probably get bored. But I don’t assume she doesn’t work hard, that’s just rude.
Luita where did I say that Reese doesn’t work hard? Don’t put words in my mouth. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You are making tons of assumptions and the name calling shows how immature you are. Reese doesn’t need you to defend her. You’ve done this on many posts when you disagree with someone. If you disagree that’s fine. There’s no need to indulge in name calling.
thank you girl. 🙂
that’s just how me and Brady’s relationship is. he knows I throw tantrums and he deals with it. it’s fine. obviously i’m not using my corporate card for my personal benefit. are you kidding? i have to use it for gas when I have meetings, office supplies, printing, lunches for my team, upfront fees, etc offended that you would even insinuate that I use it for anything other than work.
What did Brady get you for Christmas???
I posted it on Luita’s previous comment! sorry, i didn’t know if you guys would want to know.
Where did Dale come from? Like, what company did he leave to join yours? Just curious if he has any similar experiences in the same field, or if this is new territory. Regardless, he sounds like a dick. I agree with the one suggestion to make him see how valuable you really are on HIS team. He seems like a bit of a narcissist/control freak, and until you can move on, you may need to kiss as much of his ass as possible. I’m not good at that either, but I wouldn’t want to leave a company that I put so much time and effort into just because of a d-bag boss who might not last another 6 months.
Dale came from a pretty big fashion company, but he didn’t hold a similar role there. different field + different position. not the best combo.
Okay I have to agree that you being upset that Brady’s work friend brought him lunch is totally hypocritical because of the situation with Marco. This Marco business is you treading on thin ice… It makes me nervous. Be careful.
Also, is there anyone else you report to besides dale? It sounds like he’s going a little overboard with his micromanaging of you. If you are really doing your job well and spending appropriately, I’d start documenting all the stuff he’s making you do. It seems like he’s looking for little things to make you look bad, not to improve the company, and you need to watch your back!!
Also, Stacey sucks. Avoid her at all costs.
Have a HR rep included in these conversations with Dale. You shouldn’t feel this uncomfortable in your position when you’re trying to communicate what’s happening.
Sorry, as usual, no helpful advice from me. I’m dying picturing who Brady is in my head singing back to back hahaha
hahaha, literally the highlight of my life.
Maybe it’s possible that Stacey and Dale have some sort of relationship outside of work. Distant relative of some sort? It seems like they both began working with you around the same time. It would explain why Dale is being an ass and why Stacey is acting like an entitled bitch.
ew, maybe. it would totally make sense and if that’s the case then I am going to be looking for a new job!
Ugh micromanagers are the worst! Especially when they don’t have a good understanding of what is actually going on! I once worked for a boss who yelled at me for ordering an $8 calendar for my desk, she boarded free promo calendars from different places and wanted me to use one of those instead. She refused to let us buy things we needed to do our jobs, but then spent thousands of dollars at the end of the year on random crap that we never used because her grant money would expire at the end of the year. Insane! There was no reasoning with her, I just sucked it up and bit my tongue when she lectured me and did what she asked even when it was stupid. It was my first job after college so I couldn’t burn any bridges. But I started job hunting as soon as I had enough experience under my belt to get a better job!
I think you are handling Dale the best you can, just try to not let him get to you because this is more about him trying to feel important and in control. If you are staying within budget and all of your expenses are necessary for your job, he can’t really say anything. He’s probably just on a power trip by marking up your expense reports like that, but that’s his issue. I think pointing out how you have cut costs (like someone suggested) is a good idea, but if he is on a power trip it may not work because it’s more about his own insecurity and needing to feel in control than actually saving money. The only thing you can really do is humor him and realize it’s his own problem so don’t take anything personally.
Take this with a huge grain of salt because I’m shit at office politics, but if you’re going up to Dale every day and asking how you can work better, he’s going to think that you need to be micromanaged, and that you probably don’t have a lot of shit to do or else you wouldn’t be bothering him. Obviously that’s not true, but he doesn’t know that.
Just wanted to add my two cents on the whole Dale situation. My advice is that you make your correspondence with him through writing as much as you can–whether it be through texts, emails, notes, etc. This is just so you can protect yourself with a paper trail.
If he ever asks about your work ethic or spending again (or even before that happens again) you can always ask the colleagues that you trust, as well as a senior person(s), to offer their own, individual performance review of you so if worse comes to worst, you have a third party backing you up and you have the evidence to prove it (make sure you ask through writing and get responses in writing, as well as make it clear who you’re asking and who the response is coming from).
This might be all too much but it works in protecting yourself. Trust me.