he deserves someone better.

Happy New Year. I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.

I decided to have people over on Thursday night to pregame before going to a penthouse party later. So I bought two bottles of champagne, two bottles of tequila, and ingredients to make a Greek feta dip.

I wore a high neck embellished dress and a fur vest and since I had already started drinking when I did my makeup, I went all out with falsies and everything. I haven’t worn false eyelashes since I was in college.

One of Brady and Chris’s friends was hosting the party. I think he rented out the place specifically for the party because it was so fucking nice. When we first got there I ran to the floor to ceiling windows, asked Brady to take a picture of me then demanded to move in.

“Maybe in a few years, babe,” he said and I hugged him.

There were ice buckets with bottles of champagne and liquor so naturally I helped myself to them. It was like a scavenger hunt. I’d find a bottle of Grey Goose and then shout, “Guys, I found the Grey Goose!” to my friends and then I’d pour us a shot. What a fun idea for a party.

Most of the night was a blur, but Carly and I ran around holding hands a lot just like old times. I made Brady wait outside the bathroom for me and I spent about twenty minutes in there talking to my mom. She called me early because she said she didn’t know where she’d be at midnight, but wanted to wish me a happy new year in advance. She’s so considerate.

When I walked out of the bathroom Brady grabbed my hand and led me to the main area where everyone was gathering. I saw Carly’s little silver dress in the middle of the crowd of people and I could see that she was looking down at someone. It didn’t take me long to realize that Chris was proposing. I literally gasped and turned to Brady to see if he was as shocked as I was. He shushed me.

I turned back and everyone started cheering.

“Oh my fucking God. She said yes?” I said to Brady, but he was already elbowing through the crowd to congratulate them.

I followed Brady and Carly came running over to me screaming.

“Oh my God! I told you!” she squealed and threw her arms around my neck.

I was so surprised that I didn’t even know what to say. She pulled away and grinned at me expectantly and I finally said, “Let me see your ring.”

It was a tiny vintage inspired ring with a light, light green center diamond and swirly designs. It’s not my style at all, but it was so pretty.

“Aww,” I cooed. “Congratulations. I can’t believe this.”

We cried and hugged for a while until Brady and Chris came over. Carly and Chris getting engaged was great and amazing and honestly made me kind of hopeful for me and Brady’s relationship. So I suggested we take a celebratory shot and I kept drinking until I blacked out.

Brady woke me up the next morning before he left for work. I rolled over and immediately saw one of my fake eyelashes sitting on the pillow next to my face.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I made a weird sound, rolled over and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I warmed some leftovers from the day before, grabbed a bottle of water and snuggled on the couch with Tucker and the iPad. So technically, it’s Brady’s iPad, but I use it all the time to watch YouTube videos and shop and stuff. I never realized it before, but Brady’s iCloud account is connected to his iPad. He must have turned the notifications off or something because they never pop up.

I noticed a new message icon so I clicked on it. I couldn’t help myself plus I didn’t realize that it was Brady’s actual real life messages. The message was from Daniela, the young girl who works as Brady’s grandparent’s housekeeper in Florida. It was in Spanish so I didn’t know what it said, but she used smiling emojis. I was so excited that I was in his messages that I didn’t even think to take the time to translate it all. I think that whole relationship is a little bit bizarre. I backed out and looked at all of Brady’s message threads. I found Anna and I couldn’t click on it fast enough.

The last message was from her saying, “Good night,” and I scrolled up so I could see the full conversation. Apparently she had done a photographer friend a favor and modeled for some photos and sent the pictures to Brady. He told her that they looked nice and she proceeded to tell him all about the photo shoot, how many outfit changes there were and how awful the clothes felt, all the makeup she had to wear (which is crazy because to me it looked like only had mascara on), etc.

I scrolled up more and saw that Brady had sent her some pictures of the progress in the basement (it’s still not done) and our bedroom. He told her that I’d “let” him pick out the entertainment center which is true. Anna seemed surprised that the bedroom transformation was all me (remind me to post a pic on Twitter). She even said I was “gifted in that area.” I’m guessing she saw Brady’s all white boring bedroom before.

I scrolled up more and saw them talking about Lindsey and work and it genuinely seems like they are still just great friends. It wasn’t romantic at all. Which made me feel kind of bad for snooping, but not really. I guess I wanted to find some dirt because I started reading the other threads. Lindsey, Chris, Hunter, etc. I didn’t find anything juicy except the fact Hunter and his wife think she might be pregnant again. Ew.

There was a thread with someone named Liz and I eagerly opened it, hoping to find something. But I guess they work together and she talked about her boyfriend and he talked about me a lot. Ugh.

I got a late lunch with Kendra and Carly later in the day. Kendra had spent New Year’s Eve at home with her hubby and hadn’t seen Carly since the engagement. I was excited to discuss everything while sober.

Kendra squealed and hugged Carly for like five minutes. I sat there rolling my eyes because it was super over the top and ridic.

“Were you surprised?” Kendra asked.

Carly glanced at me. “Kind of. I felt it coming, but we wanted to wait a few years.”

“That’s how it was with John and I too. I’m so glad we did it when we did it though,” Kendra said. She started grilling Carly on everything, if they’d picked out a date, was it going to be in Chicago, did they plan on staying in Philly long term, etc. Obviously Carly didn’t have any answers yet. She said Chris didn’t even talk to either of their parents about it beforehand which is just so irresponsible. But whatever floats your boat I suppose.

At the end of the conversation, Carly said, “Soon it’s going to be your turn, Reese!” and Kendra burst out laughing as if that will never happen.

I glared at her and she grabbed my hand. “Love you, Reesie.”

“What’s funny?” I snapped.

“Nothing! I’m sure Brady will propose one day. Or whoever you end up with,” she said, smiling.

“It’ll be Brady,” I assured them.

They didn’t object and we changed the subject.

Marco wanted to give me my gift on Saturday evening. I suggested we meet at Starbucks and he was already waiting for me there. Marco just doesn’t even look like he belongs in a Starbucks with his huge arms, beard and fitted White Sox hat. Plus he’d already ordered my girly looking frappuncino and it looked funny next to him.

“Hey you,” he greeted me with a hug. He had a big gift bag in his hand and I tried to peek in it.

“What is it?” I asked.

Marco smirked at me and held the bag out. I peeked inside and saw the white Louis Vuitton monogram print.

“Marco,” I said, looking at him and not taking the bag. “I don’t want it.”

“Yes you do, crazy girl,” he said.

I guess I didn’t put up that much of a fight, but Marco wouldn’t let me refuse the gift. A fucking Louis Vuitton bag. I literally didn’t get him anything. And it really weirded me out because it matches the LV card holder Brady got me for Christmas. So I don’t know what to do with it. I haven’t given him any reason to give me an LV bag, I promise. I’m not leading him on or anything. Seriously.

That night I went out to a sports bar with Lexi. The guy she was talking to turned out to be engaged so she needed a crazy night out. We went to a bar we’ve been to together before and the bartender remembered us and took shots with us. He’s actually married (he has a ring), but he still flirted with us and gave us a ton of free drinks.

There was a group of guys sitting at a table behind us and one of them got up and introduced himself and asked us to sit with them. Lexi was off her stool before I could even decide if I wanted to or not.

Within half an hour, Lexi had picked one of them to be her man for the night. I was hanging out with a guy named Sam, who works for Tesla in California, but was visiting his friends for the weekend. We all decided to go to another bar and I don’t remember even getting there. I vaguely recall fighting with the door guy at the next bar and taking more shots (my idea).

We ended up at a high rise apartment and Lexi and I raided the refrigerator because we were starving. We found pizza rolls and heated up the entire bag for everyone. Lexi disappeared upstairs with her guy and I fell asleep on the couch with my plate of pizza rolls.

Lexi woke me up.

“Your boyfriend is blowing up your phone,” she told me grumpily, shoving the phone in my hand.

I sat up and looked around, momentarily forgetting where I was. The apartment was really fucking nice with high ceilings and huge windows. I’d slept through the night and I could see that it was morning.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Where the hell are you?” Brady demanded, sounding annoyed.

“I’m at Lexi’s,” I answered.

“Are you kidding me? Where does she live? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all night!”

“I’m coming home right now,” I said calmly. “No need to freak out.”

Brady hung up on me so I knew I needed to get home fast. Lexi tried to get me to stay because the guys wanted to take us to brunch (brunch? In my dress and makeup from last night?), but I told her that Brady was going to have my ass if I didn’t get home soon. He’s never hung up on me.

I logged onto Facebook on my way home and saw that Lexi had tagged me in a ton of pictures. A group picture from the bar that I’m guessing a bartender took, a picture of me with the pizza rolls, a picture where I was pulling the neckline of my dress down so you could see my cleavage, a picture of me kissing Sam on the cheek. What the fucking fuck, Lexi! I called her and she didn’t answer so I texted her, “Delete those pictures right fucking now dude I can’t believe you posted them.” I started untagging myself and saw that they’d been up for 8 hours. I prayed Brady hadn’t seen them yet.

Tucker greeted me at the door. I stayed in the foyer and played with him for a little while so I could delay the confrontation and lecture I knew I was about to get. I finally picked him up and walked inside. Brady was walking out of the kitchen and I began apologizing immediately.

“I’m so sorry. I literally passed out on the couch and Lexi had my phone all night. I didn’t mean to make you worry,” I said.

“You slept at Lexi’s apartment?” Brady asked.

“Um, yeah.” I didn’t know if he’d seen the pictures or if telling him the truth would be worth all the trouble it was going to cause.

“I don’t think you should hang out with her anymore,” Brady said calmly.

I was taken aback. Brady would never ask me not to hang out with one of my friends. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to. I don’t like the situations you get into when you’re with her,” he said.

“But she’s my friend, Brady,” I argued.

“And she’s single. You are not.”

Before I could continue, Brady walked past me down the hall.

We hadn’t gotten a chance to talk about Carly and Chris’s engagement so we did at dinner that night. Even Brady had no idea that Chris was going to pop the question – like he was just as shocked as I was. When I read their messages Chris didn’t mention anything, he didn’t give Brady even a hint that he was going to propose. I figured guys would talk about that.

“He didn’t ask you for advice or anything? That’s so weird,” I said.

“Well, I’m probably the last person he would need advice from,” Brady laughed.

I glanced at him. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I’m happy for them.”

“Do you think we’ll be next? We’ve been together just as long,” I asked.

“I don’t know. Their relationship is different than ours. No need to compare.”

“Because I’m sure he actually communicates with her,” I mumbled. Brady pretended not to hear me.

Whatever y’all have to say, say it. I already feel bad enough about the entire weekend. I know Brady deserves someone better than me.


40 thoughts on “he deserves someone better.

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Why do you feel that marriage is the only step you need to take for Brady and you to be serious? It’s not something to rush into. I feel like you are wanting it for all the wrong reasons. Just have fun, that’s what life is about. Enjoy your time together, be in love. When you give these shitty timelines, you’re bound to be disappointed and you will make both of you miserable.

    Stop comparing yourself to others. Be confident. You have lost that confident personality you first had when this blog started. I don’t know why you feel you have something to prove at all times. Brady liked you right away. But this new Reese, the whiner, the manipulator, and the pushy commitment girlfriend, will not get what she wants.

    Please see the bigger picture, because I think it’ll be a lonely road from here.

  2. Melpod says:

    Okay maybe I’m missing something but how is hanging out with Lexi all night drinking really any different then Brady hanging out Anna (smoking or whatever) at that party in New York (I think it was New York)?
    I think sometimes you are so hard on yourself and you see Brady as so much better than you. He’s not, so stop testing it to see if can just break already. The sooner you realize your good enough and deserve the best and should treat your partner with respect, the sooner things will begin to flow a lot better.

    • Sarah S. says:

      I agree. You’re good enough for him. Don’t sell yourself short or believe the bitches who think you’re not.
      Also, you need to make him communicate or ditch him, in my opinion.

      • Bella says:

        Did he know you were spending the night at a strangers place, passed out with pizza rolls? If he did, why would he be searching for you?

      • he didn’t know that part, but I told him exactly which bar I was going to. did I know the exact location of the party he went to in NYC? and who knows, he could have gone somewhere else after the party too.

    • maybe me hanging out with Lexi is the same as Brady hanging out with Anna. all I know is that I felt really guilty after the fact and I don’t think Brady did. perhaps that means I did something wrong and he didn’t. I’m not sure.

      • Syephanie says:

        It’s different because you knew where he was going. He didn’t meet a bunch of random women and go back to their place where he passed out. He came back home to you. There comes a time in life where you need to ease up on the partying and drinking and look at the bigger picture.

  3. Rose says:

    I think Brady saw the pics. Reese do you think your behavior on your night out with Lexi was appropriate? I can’t believe you’re still snooping. How would you feel if Brady went through all of your messages? I bet they aren’t as innocent as his.

    • kelseyxsays says:

      I think that’s a little ridiculous to say Reese’s texts “aren’t as innocent” as Brady’s. That’s a huge assumption and not really fair in the slightest. I agree that Reese shouldn’t have snooped, but that’s a bit of a stretch to say Brady is innocent compared to Reese. They both have huge things they need to work on.

      Reese, don’t sell yourself short. You are good enough for Brady, stop putting him on some grand pedestal. He has his own shit he has to work on, just like you do.

      • Rose says:

        Do you think the texts from Marco telling her how hot she is innocent? Or what about the guy on the plane? Her convos with her ex weren’t that innocent either. These are things Reese wrote about. Not making any assumptions just going by what she’s shared.

      • first of all, if you read my texts with Marco and my ex you would see that they actually are innocent. I would let Brady read them right now if he wanted to. and the guy from the plane is old news and I’ve already settled it with my bf.

    • no, I don’t think my behavior was appropriate at all. Brady has every right to be mad and punish me for it. I wouldn’t like it if Brady went through my messages but they are just as innocent, trust.

  4. Amber says:

    I know how it feels to watch your good friends get married and want to be married too! I feel like you need a heart to heart with Brady to see how he feels about it — I don’t see anything wrong with trying to get him to say whether he wants to get engaged this year or something else (and if it is something else, to be specific — i.e. is he not sure if he even wants to get married, does he think that he wants to wait a few years etc).
    As for the snooping, it doesn’t really bother me! My husband knows that I read his text messages and look through his phone – he always says he doesn’t have anything to hide and doesn’t want me to get crazy with it – like I am not allowed to delete friends from his Facebook etc. But I am just naturally a nosy person and cannot really help myself even though I do trust him!

  5. Cynthia says:

    I’m about to sound really negative but the last thing you and Brady need to be discussing is marriage. It doesn’t seem that you guys have a solid foundation based on what you write. I do think that you guys love each other, just seems like an immature relationship.

  6. Delilah says:

    You need to get your head straight, you say you want marriage and more of a commitment but your actions say otherwise. You and Brady both have a ton of growing up to do before you get married.
    And Marco seems like a bit of a creep, I’d be careful with that one. Does Brady know about your friendship with Marco?

  7. Anna says:

    Help me out here, because I might not be remembering. How many times have you actually been in Marco’s physical presence? He’s your “BFF”, but you’ve only blogged about seeing him less than a handful of times. And he’s buying you Louis Vuitton?? That’s a hella expensive gift from a guy friend who isn’t interested in you.

    • Sarah says:

      I would agree, you think you’re innocent in that friendship with Marco, but I don’t think hes on the same page. He needs the axe before that goes any further. Thanks for the Louie, bye Marco!

      • Kelly says:

        She has to give the bag back. If she didn’t want it like she claims why didn’t she insist he take it back? I read the comments and in my opinion of you have to snoop then you clearly don’t trust your significant other. Reese you yourself have written about the inappropriate texts you’ve partaken in. You should own it instead of saying how innocent they were.

        You speak of marriage but you’re always talking about all these hot men you meet. Even on your Twitter you posted how you met the hottest man today. How would you feel if Brady engaged in similar behavior or made a female friend that gave him presents. No offense but you don’t act like a woman in love and ready to get married.

      • I meet hot guys all the time but none of them compare to my boyfriend. I’ve always said that! maybe I’m not ready to get married but my actions do not mean that I don’t love my boyfriend

  8. Luita says:

    I haven’t read the comments so sorry if I’m repeating other’s advice.
    You are young Reese, there’s no rush to get married and don’t do it just cause everyone around you is doing it. It’s great that you found someone that makes you so happy you feel ready for that step. But do you really think as a couple you guys are ready? The communication issues won’t magically get better because you guys exchange vows. Things only intensify once you are married and new issues will come up.
    Work on being happy with him now, with where you are in the relationship.
    I kind of agree with him that you shouldn’t go out with your single friend because then you have to be wing woman and you get into this weird situations. But it bothers me that he keeps in touch with his ex and that he talks to other women, your friendship with Marco also bothers me. (I know! Not my business šŸ˜œ)
    I’m totally jaded because of things I’ve seen friends go through. I had a friend that cheated on her husband when we out on a girl’s night out and another whose husband started and emotional affair that then moved to physical affair, and they were good people.
    So treasure your relationship treat it special because it is, value each other and work on communication rather than getting a ring on your finger.

    • I don’t mind if Brady has girl friends and I even don’t mind his ex (especially after reading their messages). if anything I trust him more now.

  9. I don’t think it’s a matter of either you or Brady deserving better than the other but perhaps just needing different things from partners. A relationship without communication rarely thrives.

    Check out my new blog newyeartrueme.WordPress.com

  10. Lesley says:

    What does Marco do for a living? How is he able to afford a Luis Vuitton bag for a random person who is supposedly just his friend? They are over $1,000.

  11. Chris says:

    I disagree with the above comment about snooping cus of insecurity. Sometimes I’m just really bored and like to read Danny’s emails or texts… šŸ™ƒšŸ˜³

    Kendra rubs me the wrong way.. I feel like she always has a snide remark to make about you.

    But, girl. Lmao. You had a blast. No regrets! Maybe next time make sure you let Brady know you’re ok though!

  12. I disagree with the above comment about snooping cus of insecurity. Sometimes I’m just really bored and like to read Danny’s emails or texts… šŸ™ƒšŸ˜³

    Kendra rubs me the wrong way.. I feel like she always has a snide remark to make about you.

    But, girl. Lmao. You had a blast. No regrets!

  13. Hebbsxo says:

    oh girl- i know how it feels to want to be apart of the engaged/married crew. it took my boo 7 years to pop the question. by then my friends were divorcing and breaking off engagements. be patient- you both have a lot of growing in your relationship. if you think he deserves better than become the best version of you for him!

    i hate to say it but, i had to cut out girls nights out with single friends too. instead host a girls nights- wine, dinner & gossip.

    good luck girl- new year, new you! šŸ˜‰

  14. e says:

    quit getting so fucked up when you drink woman!šŸ˜‚
    I also had to drop girls nights out with my friends whenever they were just out looking for a hookup, and looking to get super wasted šŸ˜¦
    we still hang out but it’s in a different setting, and it’s still a lot of fun! BTW: I’m not like anti drinking but I don’t enjoy losing track of myself or whatever, I’m not sure if there’s any other way of putting it šŸ˜‚

    you ARE good enough quit hating yourself šŸ™ˆ
    it’s good you like, have respect for Brady… but you need to stop putting him on a pedestal. I mean he seems nice and stuff but he is definitely not perfect!

    much love!

  15. Amanda says:

    From someone who’s been there – don’t bring up the marriage thing all the time. Talk about it once and be done with it. Now looking back I feel like I lost out a bit because I made my husband talk about it all the time and it just wasn’t the same when he finally proposed because I knew it was going to happen. Plus – if you wait a bit longer you won’t need to share the spotlight as much. It may seem like everyone else is moving ahead but trust me – a lot of people who are now married wish they took more time with it. (hahah but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a secret Pinterest board so you can be as ready as hell when the time comes! Watch and learn from all other weddings and then you can have the perfect one!)

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