what the hell is wrong with him?

I was a little sick on Friday and had to leave work early, but I was better by the time Brady got home from work. I think I just needed to sleep it off. I got up and we made dinner and decided we were going to go out with Kendra and John later. Oddly enough John texted Brady inviting us, but Kendra didn’t reach out to me at all. Weird because I thought we were supposed to be best friends.

Anyway, we made plans to go to this stupid pretentious bar and I wore a suede skirt, a v-neck and my over the knee boots. I was feeling so much better that we started taking shots before we even left the house. It was kind of funny how fast we went from, “So how was your day?” to “You’re literally the best thing that’s happened to me.” And also pretty sad that apparently we only feel that way when we’ve been drinking.

When we got to the bar Kendra and John were still en route so Brady and I got a pitcher and sat down at a table. Brady pulled out his phone and sat it on the table and I saw that he had a new message from Hailey. I couldn’t really tell, but I think it said, “How is your night?”

“Who’s that?” I asked pointing to his phone.

Brady picked it up and showed me. He had unlocked his phone and I could see that Hailey had sent the last three or four messages that Brady hadn’t responded to. “She works at the hospital.”

Ohh!” I said, over the top dramatically.

“In the gift shop,” he continued.

I scrunched my nose. “I thought only elderly women worked in the gift shop.”

Brady shrugged. “I did too, but she’s still a student.”

“Wow, a student,” I echoed. “What does she want with you? Do you help with her homework?”

He laughed. “No. She brings me candy sometimes.”

“Why? It sounds like she has a crush on you.” I could see Kendra and John walking in and Kendra looking around for us.

“I think she’s just being nice,” Brady said.

“Being nice, Brady? You say that about everyone.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, really.”

“Why did you exchange numbers?” I asked and to my dismay, that’s exactly when Kendra and John found us.

“Uh, hey!” Kendra said, leaning down to hug me.

We all hugged and I scooted my stool closer to Brady to make room. He squeezed my knee and I gave him a look like, “We’ll finish this discussion later.” He nodded.

So we all finished off the pitcher that me and Brady had pretty much downed ourselves and ordered another one. Kendra and John were sipping slow and being adults, but Brady and I were already pretty trashed and kind of hogged the second pitcher too. Eventually I was ready to go find disgusting food and kept texting Brady begging to leave.

Luckily, Kendra’s started yawning. “I’m getting tired, you guys. I just can’t stay out late like I used to.”

“It’s been a long day,” John agreed with her.

We got up and started to leave, and I brought up that they better take advantage of being able to stay out late before they started having babies and stuff. Kendra laughed.

Brady grabbed my hips and said something like, “Maybe we’ll make one tonight.”

I turned and hit him playfully because that is literally the last thing we need. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Brady said there was a 24-hour taco place a little bit away so we walked. Literally everything on the menu sounded good so we got every kind of taco, burritos and chips and salsa. They had to give us two bags to carry all our shit.

We were really drunk so I started telling him that I was concerned about the current state of our relationship.

“What are you talking about? It’s fine,” Brady said.

“If you seriously think it’s fine then that’s our biggest problem,” I replied.

He looked offended.

“I just wanna go back to how we were when we first met,” I went on. “It was so fun and now we just fight all the time.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

I said something like, “I really love you and care about you, but if things don’t get better then we are going to break up.”

“I don’t want that. I love you too.”

“You’re really mean sometimes.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t intend to be mean.”

This went on for like an hour. Brady couldn’t apologize enough. He promised to try harder to be nice to me and I said I would do the same. We left all the extra food on the table and retreated to the bedroom. We had a fairly quick hookup sesh then I climbed off and cuddled him.

“So why did you and this student, Hailey, exchange numbers?” I asked.

Brady was starting to doze off, but that got his attention.

“I don’t know, Reese,” he whined. “She asked for it.”

“And you gave it to her?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say,” he continued whining.

“You say, ‘No, I have a hot, but psycho girlfriend at home so I can’t give you my number.'”

“That is true.”

I grabbed his face. “Do you think she’s hot?”

“No,” Brady said automatically.

“Be honest. She’s hot.”

“No. I’m not interested in her in that way. You’re hot, not her.”

“But she’s pretty.”

“She’s good looking, yeah. Not as good looking as you.”

It was kind of cute how Brady kept bringing the attention back to me. Atta boy. I kissed him.

“We need a vacation,” I pointed out. I know that I need my own vacation, but Brady and I were vibing so well that I wanted to take a getaway with him.

“Yeah. Let’s go to my grandparents’ next weekend,” he suggested.

I hadn’t even considered that as an option. Probably because I didn’t plan on vacaying with Brady.

I shrugged. “Okay.”

He grabbed my waist and squeezed me, kissing the side of my face. “I can’t wait. I’ll get our tickets.”

He let me go and I dozed off for a minute before he grabbed me again.

“Reese, I love you,” Brady said.

“Okay then act like it.”

“I know. I will.”

You know what’s crazy? I was hearing blog comments in my head like, “You need to act like it too.” Probably because I know I’m not the world’s greatest girlfriend either.

“I will too. We both need to try harder,” I said.

I was dozing off again, but Brady was ready for round two. What a long night. After we finished, I rolled over and passed out. I was so exhausted.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, Brady wasn’t in the bed and I assumed he was out getting breakfast. My assumption was correct and he came back in a few minutes later with French toast, eggs and bacon. So good.

We ended up spending the entire day together and it was so much fun. I had some things to return to Nordstrom so we went there first. I returned my items then we headed to the men’s department so I could pick out things for bae. Brady absolutely hates shopping, but he was trying so hard to be nice to me that he let me pick out a ton of stuff for him to try on. I thought it was a great time. I made him get a couple casual button downs, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and a thin springy sweater. I’m obsessed with all of it.

After Nordstrom we went for mani pedis. Well, I did because Brady refused. I told him that it’s not taboo for guys to get their nails done anymore, but he still wouldn’t. There was a pet store near the nail salon so I insisted we go there next. Tucker is always in need of new things, am I right? So I got him some organic treats, a more springy collar and harness, some dentist chews and several toys.

When we were in line to pay, Brady grabbed my shoulder and said, “You’re going to be such a great mom.”

I turned around and gave him a weird look. What the hell is wrong with him? All the baby comments were fucking weird. I didn’t even say anything back.

We headed to dinner after that. Brady continued being super nice and sweet and even asked me to come over to his side of the booth to sit by him. Usually I only do that when I’m being needy. We were in the restaurant for close to three hours just talking and ordering drinks and food. I don’t understand why it can’t always be like that. We weren’t doing anything at all, but it was so fun and easy.

By the time we got home, Tucker was pissed that we’d been gone so long. But he was happy about his new toys and treats. Brady and I considered going out with his friends that night, but we decided that we were too tired and wanted to stay in. So instead, we set up the guest bedroom in the basement. We bought all new bed linens and stuff for it and moved all the furniture from Chris’s old bedroom downstairs, but after setting everything up I realized that it was plain and bare and not welcoming at all.

So naturally I made a Pinterest vision board and made a list of items I needed to get. I decided on a rustic theme with muted colors and lots of wood and textures so we don’t have to get any new furniture. Can’t wait for it to all come together!

I got brunch with Kendra on Sunday. I told her about Brady’s baby and mom comments.

“So let me get this straight,” she said. “He’s afraid to commit to marriage, but he isn’t afraid to have a baby?”

“Apparently. Isn’t that strange? I just can’t believe he keeps saying stuff like that,” I said.

“Maybe he actually is ready to commit now. Have you talked about it lately?”

“Hell no!” I exclaimed. “I’m not bringing that up again.”

“You need to see where his head is. If I were you I wouldn’t be okay with him making comments like that, but claiming he doesn’t want to get married. He’s giving you mixed signals,” Kendra said.

“Well, maybe,” I thought out loud. “But maybe he doesn’t necessarily want to get married, but still wants to build a life with me and stuff.”

“Do you think his mother is going to go for that? He can’t even tell her that you’re living together and you think she’s going to be okay with you having children out of wedlock?” Kendra pointed out.

“Who fucking cares what she thinks? She doesn’t control my life.”

“Brady cares.”

True. So maybe I’m reading too much into it and Brady didn’t even mean anything by what he said, but I think he had a change of heart. Right?

We talked about Carly. They picked out a date; it’s going to be November of this year. She’s dead set on doing this deep red, wine color, but she’s having trouble picking an accent color. I keep trying to convince her that blush pink would be perfect with it, but she isn’t convinced. I even made a Pinterest board.

Brady hasn’t texted Hailey back since Friday night and I wonder if it’s because I confronted him about her. Maybe he feels guilty. I kind of feel like this is exactly like the Matt situation (the businessman from the plane) where Brady just likes the attention. I read through all their messages and he’s never mentioned me once. Well, at least he seems to have learned his lesson now.


34 thoughts on “what the hell is wrong with him?

  1. Kelly says:

    I can’t believe you guilted Brady for texting hailey when you’ve texted your fair share of single men that were interested in you. I’m disappointed that you took this approach where you act all high and mighty while scolding Brady.

      • Megg says:

        I thought the way you asked was completely fine. Brady has asked you before and even accused of knowing that those guys were being more than “nice.”

      • Anna says:

        I think you did a really good job of approaching it in a way that wasn’t defensive and wasn’t going to put him on the defense. There is no harm in asking about it if she’s texted when you can plainly see it. Plus, asking about it takes some of the secrecy out of it for him, because he knows you know who she is.

  2. kelly says:

    I don’t think it is bad to make new friends of the opposite sex as long they are aware you are in a relationship and your significant other is aware of them. I don’t think Brady was doing anything wrong, I think he was trying to be nice and it was easier to give her his number than explain he has a psycho girlfriend. Guys are just oblivious like that sometimes, especially when they know they have no intention of doing anything inappropriate- giving a number probably wasn’t a huge deal to him. I’ve been reading for a while and this is my first comment, I honestly feel that Reese has grown a lot and is really trying to be a more thoughtful partner. Glad you had a good weekend with Brady!

  3. sarah says:

    Woah, you lucked out with that text from Hailey! I agree with Kelly in that Brady should be allowed to have female friends, I don’t think you have anything to worry about with this girl texting him every so often. But in your defense, I feel like you always make it really obvious to guys that you have a BF, and Brady didn’t mention you at all. Go visit the gift shop when shes working and buy some candy for Brady and let her know who you are haha! As for this Brady baby shit, I think you need a serious sit down with him like 1.does he want to be married to you? 2.does he want kids with you? 3.is he going to change his mind next week on any of the above? because he is ridiculous with the mom/baby comments in this post.

  4. Sara says:

    I agree with the above that having opposite sex friends is fine (I do and I am married), but I think a young woman (I assume Hailey is young because she is a student) bringing a man candy even semi-regularly is a sign that she has a crush — it gives her a reason to interact with Brady. That being said, crushes can be harmless, but it is foolish to not acknowledge them. Brady should casually let her know he is taken; it really is the kind thing to do for Hailey so she doesn’t over interpret Brady’s friendliness. Hailey could end up with some very hurt feelings if she feels led on. Unrequited feelings suck, but it is better to not hover around thinking there is hope of a deeper relationship when that is impossible. If Hailey doesn’t have a crush, no harm no foul in mentioning you, but I think it is naive of Brady to assume she doesn’t, and that is not very nice of him. I also think you are spot on about your comparison between Hailey and Matt. One reader called you out about the men you have texted with in the past, but since you are not doing that anymore (right??), I think that is not the issue. In fact, since Brady knows about Matt, you can even use that to try and communicate how you feel about him texting with Hailey.

    As for all the baby talk, try not to read too much into it. Brady just recently made the anti marriage comments and he may still be processing what he said and what you said and it may lead him to change his mind. He seems pretty clueless at times even about his own feelings. He may be just talking out his ass or he may now be testing the waters because his thought processes are catching up with his words.. If he says things like “You’ll make a great mom”, simply respond with “Thanks! I hope so.” Basically, that encourages him to think this way without getting too heavy too fast. If he IS easing into the idea of starting a family best to keep your responses positive, if that is what you want with him. I know people will say “you need to talk about this”, and you do, but maybe not all at once. As a metaphor, treat Brady like a stray cat who wants to be friendly, but is scared, if you act carefully and gently, he may come around to your way of thinking. If he feels safe. you can ease into a dialog with him about all marriage and family. Eventually you will have to come to a decision along these lines, but I think your idea to spend energy revitalizing your relationship so that it is more like it was in the beginning is a very good one and at the moment a better use your energy. It will strengthen the foundation of your relationship and make marriage an even more viable option.

  5. Liz says:

    It sucks that you and Brady have these heart to heart conversations when you’re both drunk. I think both of you need to ease up on the alcohol and try to talk soberly. I don’t think either of you resolved anything, its the same vicious cycle. You guys argue, go out, get drunk, confess your love for each other, hash out issues, have sex and everything is good for a while. You need to break the pattern.

    How is Hailey bringing Brady candy any different than the cop bringing you a Louis Vuitton bag? BTW what did you do with that bag? I think the parallel that person above was drawing is that you text different men at different times but didn’t tell Brady until after the fact.

    • I completely agree, Liz. I think our drunk conversations are stupid and I’m sick of it. the only good thing is how nice we are to each other afterwards, I wish it was like that all the time. I still have the bag.

  6. Ashley says:

    So I’m noticing a lot of assumptions that Heidi doesn’t know about you because you aren’t mentioned in any of the texts…but it’s possible that Brady told her about you in person. Brady is such a private person that it wouldn’t surprise me if he hasn’t mentioned you, and not because he doesn’t want her to know about you, but because he doesn’t want to make things weird and awkward at work by just randomly bringing it up. i really believe that his communication with her is completely innocent. But I like the idea of going in and starting a conversation with her while buying candy for Brady. That way, you can innocently be like “just visiting my boyfriend Brady on my lunch hour” when she asks how your day is.

    As for all this baby talk, it is super confusing, and frankly a bit inconsiderate, of Brady to be talking like that. I agree with the above comments that you should be careful how you talk to him about it. It is still pretty fresh since he made the no marriage comments and he might be wrapping his brain around it now. At the same time, I don’t believe you should have to walk on eggshells around your spouse when it comes to serious topics like this. As women, we are always told to “be careful” how we talk to men about our feelings and emotions because we don’t want to scare them off. In my opinion, if he is scared off by your emotions and feelings then he isn’t worth you having them for him.

    It’s amazing the growth I see in each of your posts. Yeah, sometimes you have days where it seems like you’re back to your old ways, but we all have those days. It’s obvious that you want to be the best girlfriend possible and that you’re working hard to do that. So kudos to you, Reese!


    • I can understand not mentioning me if the subject doesn’t come up. I’ve definitely been there. looking in on the outside though, it doesn’t look a little shady. I can see Brady getting mad or annoyed if I show up and introduce myself to this girl lol. the baby talk is SO inconsiderate!

      • Ashley says:

        Yeah, I don’t think it’s necessarily shady. I’m just playing devils advocate and trying to see both sides. I have a guy friend whose gf used to get mad because I would text him and only ask what he was doing that weekend. She thought he hadn’t told me about her or i just didn’t care, which wasn’t the case. I knew about her and when I would ask what he was doing, it was meant as more of a broad “you guys”.
        And like you mentioned, he probably does like the attention he is getting from this young girl. Just like you like the attention you get from men sometimes. It’s flattering, especially when you have been in a relationship for as long as you guys have.

        I wouldn’t go into the gift shop and just be like “hey bitch I’m Brady’s gf”. Lol. But when you’re checking out and she asks “how is your day going?” You can nonchalantly reply “it’s good. Just surprising my boyfriend Brady for lunch”. That way it doesn’t look as though you’re ambushing her or being sneaky. It was just a random run-in. And then when you see Brady right after you can give him his candy and be like “oh! I met Heidi when I was buying this for you! She seems super sweet. You should invite her over to the house this weekend for dinner and drinks. I would love to get to know her.” That way, you don’t seem like a crazy psycho bitch and then you can see how they interact with one another. If it seems purely innocent, then no harm no foul and you can quit being worried about it. Plus, it would give you major brownie points with Brady if you suggest having her over for dinner. It will show growth on your part.

  7. Amanda says:

    Happy for the good weekend. I was..uhhh killing time/working so I went back and re-read some of your first posts when you and Brady met and thats what got me hooked on this blog. I loved how you both were with each other but that’s been missing.This post it somewhat came back and I’m super proud how you handled the conversation about Hailey.You made a really great point about why did he have her number. Especially if she is younger there is no reason for her to have it. I know this is probably 100% unlikely but if she doesn’t know about you and has a massive crush that she thinks is going somewhere she may not react so well when that doesn’t happen. It could cause issues for Brady at work.Plus I assume the psycho Jessica still works there so they could band together against him or some crap.Kind of outrageous but it does happen.
    Oh…and I am the same as you and would find it hard to fight the temptation of reading his emails – but be careful.It would really suck if he ever did decide to propose and you ruined it!

    • omg I miss when me and Brady first met too! 😭 I’m so glad I have this blog to be able to go back and read and reminisce. such a fun time. Jessica actually doesn’t work with Brady anymore, thank GOD, but I do feel like me going to Hailey myself wouldn’t make Brady very happy. he would know I am up to something.

  8. D. says:

    As someone who used to date a guy with a LOT of female friends, many of whom had crushes on him, I do not think you should go to the gift shop. But I think you should tell Brady he needs to tell this girl about you ASAP. Even though I think the situation with Marco wasn’t the best, you were still upfront about having a boyfriend and telling Brady about Marco. And you deserve for Brady to do the same! He doesn’t need to make a big deal about it, just drop it into normal conversation like “yea I went out with my girlfriend this weekend with friends” when she asks about his weekend. There is no reason why she should be texting him all the time and not have Brady mention you at all. I had this exact problem with my ex, some girl he met when we were on a break was constantly texting him and trying to hang out, and “it never came up” that he and I were back together. He made a bunch of excuses about how she just wanted to be friends. I made him tell her about me and she quit texting him right away so obviously she was interested in more than just friendship! On the flip side, I quit talking to my male friends if they kept saying inappropriate things to me because they weren’t respecting my relationship and so were obviously not really good friends.

  9. Lesley says:

    I wonder if Brady is eager to go to his grand parent’s house in Florida because he wants to see that housekeeper he texts all the time…..

    • Ashley says:

      And hasn’t he known the housekeeper for forever? I didn’t think he was “shamelessly” flirting with her…I thought he was just being friendly. It kind of seems like you’re trying to stir up drama and make Reese paranoid.

      • Lesley says:

        Even Reese admitted that he was overly nice to her, she kept blushing when he talked to her and they were speaking Spanish so we don’t know what he was saying to her. I’m not trying to make these paranoid but I think she should watch out for that and not so much the little girl at work.

      • Anna says:

        We heard about the housekeeper through Reese’s filter, her perception. That doesn’t mean that it was flirting or anything more than people who have known each other for years. Try to remember that everything we read here has Reese’s filter on it. Most of us know that there is “your perspective, my perspective and then the truth”.

  10. Alli says:

    Am I the only one who thinks Kendra is pregnant? “Sipping” her drink, letting you and Brady drink the pitcher, laughing at your comment about the baby? My baby senses are tingling!

  11. Goldz says:

    Let your presence be felt or known to that Hailey girl since Brad didn’t mention anything about you to her or being upfront that he is in a committed relationship. It pays to be vigilant in your relationship. As the saying goes all is fair in love and war.

  12. Cyn says:

    If you want to “fix” the Hailey situation, here’s a thought.
    Go to the hospital and take him out to lunch, on your way, either going to or coming from, stop in the giftshop WITH him. Your presence is made known and you won’t have to say anything. If she approaches him or he introduces you, it’s friendly. If they act shady, then that’s what it is.

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