the current state of my ass.

Hey y’all!

I don’t know where to begin. I got offered another job. I met this British man named Scott a few weeks ago at Starbucks and he runs a luxury furniture and interior design firm here. They’re expanding their office and he suggested we exchange contact information. He’d been emailing me a lot trying to schedule a meeting and honestly, I was really dodgy. I guess I assumed he was hitting on me (get over yourself, Reese), but turns out, he was trying to recruit me.

So we met last week at a Starbucks before work. He had a black coffee waiting for me when I got there which is sweet, but I hate coffee. It was weird because he stood up and shook my hand, and we’d already met.

“So glad we could finally meet,” Scott said in his cute accent. He’s cute. Probably late 30s/early 40s, freckles, light blue eyes, dirty blonde, but graying hair. Wedding ring.

“Me too! I’ve been so busy!” I said, which was kind of true.

He started by going over the expansion, what the new office would look like and what kind of new positions they would be adding.

“I’m going to be upfront with you, Reese. I want you to take over our sales department. Now, that wouldn’t require you to cold call all day – we’ve got people to that,” Scott said.

“Oh,” I said back. I started getting really nervous, like shaky nervous and I don’t even know why.

“I’ve interviewed a lot of people and talked to some internal candidates, but I really think you’re going to be the best fit,” he went on.

Up until that point, Scott had only asked me like two or three actual interview questions (aside from the stuff he asked me via email). Although I guess you can tell a lot about if someone would be a good fit by just having a conversation with them.

“Does this sound like something you’d be interested in? I know this isn’t what you were expecting from our meeting today.”

“I mean, I need to know more. What would a typical day look like?” I said.

“Great question, Reese. You’re in charge of doing whatever it takes to drive sales and be as profitable as possible. If that means you have to fire your entire staff and start over, then do it. But you better have a fucking good explanation and a game plan.” He laughed. “So I’m not exactly sure what a typical day will look like. It’s really up to you.”

“What kind of results are you expecting?” I asked.

Scott looked like that wasn’t a question he was expecting. “Well, I want an increase in sales of course. We need more money flowing in. I want to see cash.”

I nodded, wondering if he meant actual cash or just figuratively.

“When you think of luxury, what do you think?” he asked.

“Hermés,” I replied.

Scott looked confused for a moment then he laughed. “I haven’t heard that one, but yeah. Definitely.”

I shrugged.

“How much would it take you to leave?” he asked.

I blurted out a number and Scott nodded then told me he was going to get another coffee and be right back. I didn’t want him to see me texting or playing with my phone so I just sat there and politely waited.

When Scott came back, he didn’t have a coffee with him and kind of seemed out of breath.

“We’d like to bring you on board,” he said, sitting down. “With the salary you mentioned.”

“Oh, thanks!” I said, beaming.

“What are you thinking? Do you want some time to think about it?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ll need some time,” I told him. I could feel that our conversation was wrapping up so I grabbed my purse from the back of my chair. “Just a day or so.”

“Okay, a day. Just shoot me an email when you make up your mind either way. You’re the only person I’ve offered anything to. I want you, Reese,” Scott said.

I waited until Brady and I were on the plane going to Florida to tell him the story.

“So at this point I’m so miserable that I just might take this guy up on his offer. Today Dale sent out a mass email about how ‘we’ all need to do a better job of record keeping and organization, but his office is a disaster. He can never find anything when I ask for it,” I said.

“Are you genuinely interested in the position or is it just your way out?” Brady asked.

Good question. Obviously I was interested, I wouldn’t have wasted my time talking to Scott if I wasn’t.

“A little bit of both. Anything has to be better than what I’m doing now. But I would like to get into a more marketing role again. I miss some of the stuff I used to do. Plus it’ll be nice to get away from fucking Dale and Stacey,” I said.

“You are in a bad mood every night,” Brady replied. “Who knows if the grass is greener on the other side, but maybe you should take a leap of faith.” So many cliches.

Funny, the last time I took a “leap of faith” in my career, I ended up running back to my old job. For some reason I really doubt Dale will let me come back if I quit.

I decided to just enjoy my weekend and make a decision later. Brady’s grandparents were away so we had the house to ourselves, thank goodness. We immediately got in and showered then headed out for dinner. There was a Cuban restaurant within “walking distance” (Brady waited until we were halfway there to tell me it was almost a mile) so we walked there. I complained the whole time because it was humid.

I got some rice dish with shrimp and we also got a margarita pitcher. It was really, really strong.

“Oh my gosh… That’s potent,” I said after my first sip. I literally felt the drink go through my entire body.

We were pretty drunk after the first pitcher and Brady flagged a waiter down to bring another. I also ordered a lychee mojito and this is weird, but do y’all remember that baseball player Eric that I dated? The last time I had a lychee drink I was with him and I suddenly got these flashbacks of being with him and it made me nauseous. I was such a hot mess when I was with him (good times). So I kept drinking. I remember ordering a third pitcher, shots and signing the bill and leaving a $100 tip. There was a Cuban dance club attached that we wanted to go to and I can’t remember anything beyond that.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, my ass was super sore and I couldn’t swallow. My entire body hurt. I rolled over and nudged Brady, but he just pulled me close and snuggled me. We got up a little later and went downstairs to eat. We hadn’t seen Daniela (his grandparents’ housekeeper) since arriving, but somehow she knew we were there and had breakfast waiting. Daniela is actually so pretty. She kind of looks like Selena Gomez, but with lighter hair and features. I don’t think she speaks English and she greeted me, “Hola, Miss Reese,” which was so adorable.

“Why does my ass hurt?” I asked Brady while we ate our pancakes.

He smirked. “I have no idea. Is it bad?”

“Yeah, kinda. It’s uncomfortable to sit,” I said. And my butt still hurts today. I don’t know if I fell or what, but fuck.

We laid by the pool for literally the entire day. It was cloudy all day which sucked, but it was still relaxing. On Thursday of last week, Brady and I got drinks with a kid he went to high school with who just moved to Chicago for his residency. He was with another guy they went to high school with (and Brady was also in a fraternity with) so the three of them mostly talked about work and medical school while I sat there being bored.

The first guy was nice enough to at least ask what I do and what I studied in school (although I felt a bit inadequate as I typically do around Brady’s friends). At one point, Brady was talking to our waitress and I heard one of the guys say something like, “I can’t believe Brady’s tapping that.”

Tapping that? Apparently his friends think I’m just some sort of bimbo or something, not a serious girlfriend. I glared at him and he looked mortified that I heard him.

So I waited until we were having a nice relaxing day by the pool to bring it up to Brady.

“I just don’t understand why your friends would think that’s okay to say,” I said.

“That’s just how guys are. He meant nothing by it,” Brady explained.

“He meant something by it otherwise he wouldn’t have said it,” I pointed out. “I’m super offended.”

“It was a compliment. That’s his way of saying you’re unnaturally hot.”

I smiled against my own will. But still, that’s rude though, right? I can’t get “tapping that” out of my head. Way to make me feel slutty.

When we finally got tired of the pool and went back inside, Daniela had frozen margaritas waiting for us. And she was with another girl in the same black and white maid outfit. The second girl looked older and was a little chunky, but just as pretty as Daniela. She greeted us in Spanish and held a short conversation with Brady. We sat down at the bar and Daniela said something to the second girl while they looked at me. The only words I picked up were “mujer” and “mañana” which I remember from high school Spanish class. Brady glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” I asked defensively.

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

I really wish I knew Spanish. There are few things more uncomfortable than having a room full of people talking about you and not knowing what they are saying. Actually, I can think of a lot of things (like the current state of my ass), but that isn’t the point.

I just barely missed Brady’s grandparents on Sunday. As we were leaving to go to the airport, his grandmother called to say they were on their way home. She was disappointed when Brady told her we were leaving because she really wanted to meet me! From the stories Brady tells me about her she seems kind of unpleasant, but I am curious to meet her too.

Brady didn’t respond to any of Hailey’s messages all weekend (at least he can respect me enough not to text her while we were on vacation together), but they messaged a bit today. She asked him where he was this afternoon then when he told her she said, “I’M COMING TO SEE YOU!” in all caps like that. Such a child. A few hours later she said, “I forgot to ask about your vacation! How was it?!?!” She sounds so annoying. Brady never replied so he must agree.

I really like the idea of popping up at the gift shop where she works with Brady (I can’t remember whose idea that was, but genius), but I just can’t figure out how to do it without being super obvious. I really just want to make my presence known because obviously this girl knows nothing about me.

Today I had an awful day at work which just makes me want to accept Scott’s offer that much more. We are having some investors come visit later this week and Dale is being a total dick about it. The both of us are doing presentations and he kept telling me what I should and shouldn’t say and do even though I’ve done a million of these presentations. He should be asking me for tips. But of course, he’s my boss so I smiled and nodded and tried to avoid him.

I haven’t told Kendra about my new job offer because she already got on to me last time I switched jobs.

“Reese, you change jobs more than I change underwear. You can’t move around this much and try to build a serious career!” she lectured me. I can only imagine what she would say now. But Brady (who has a fantastic career obviously) told me to go for it, and I trust his advice. Plus, it’s not like I’ve had that many jobs in my life.

How was everyone else’s weekend?


59 thoughts on “the current state of my ass.

  1. Cyn says:

    First make sure she’s there (easy because you know what she looks like). If you do it on the way out, act like you see something cute in the window (baby shirt or stuffed animal for Tucker). If you do it on the way back, say you need mints, gum, or something like that.

  2. Ashley Kay says:

    I think there were a few of us that suggested it, so you know it’s a good idea. We would never steer you in the wrong direction. I would plan to meet Brady for lunch and when you guys are headed out, or back, say you need to stop by the gift shop for some gum because the food left a bad taste in your mouth. If you go in there without Brady you can still introduce yourself. You’ll just have to like, pretend to notice her name tag and be like, “oh, Heidi! Brady told me about you! I’m his girlfriend, Reese”. And then shake her hand.

    As for the job, I would talk to your parents about it. Your dad has a pretty successful career and seems like he could give you some good advice. You really need to weigh the pros and cons, because like you said, you won’t be able to go back if you don’t like the new job. When Scott said you won’t be making cold calls all day, does that mean there is a chance you will have to do some cold calls? Because that would be a deal breaker to me. But maybe I just misunderstood what you were saying.

    I can’t believe you brought up Eric in this post! I literally went back and started reading from the beginning and finished the Eric part this weekend. You were definitely a hot mess back then. But, we live and we learn. I’m not into the beginning of your relationship with Brady. Going back, you have always had an issue bringing up important topics with Brady. It’s almost like you’re scared it would ruin the perception Brady had of you. He always used to say how he loved how low maintenance and laid back you were, so it’s like you thought if you brought up any issues to him, he wouldn’t think that anymore. It was like you were/are so scared of losing him that you push back your feelings until you are drunk or explode. I dunno, tho. That’s just my perception of things as an outsider.

    • I think if I did go in the gift shop without Brady he would think I was up to no good, but it would be a lot easier to do than to try to get him to do it with me. But I don’t know. omg eric was such a rough time in my life lol! I actually love how Brady and I were when we first got together, but maybe it’s because I didn’t ever bring up any issues and now things are more real.

  3. Sara says:

    You went back to your old job because of Diana. She has left the company, which was devastating to you. When you describe your job now, you mainly talk about Dale and Stacey, the douche twins. Even your friend Luke and you have grown distant. This new job fell into your lap for a reason. The way you describe the guy who recruited you– he seemed to behave very professionally. He recruited you because he respects your skill set. Your current job is making you miserable. I really think you should go for the new job. If anyone questions you leaving your current job or the one before it, you have perfectly reasonable explanations. You tried the job with Andrew for a while, but Diana made you a better offer to lure you back. Then when she left, the job changed. These things happen, and with the right spin it will not affect your job future at all. Hell, I came back from getting full-on fired from a job once. Not fun, but I made it work. It’s all about how you present yourself.

    I also think that the gift shop meeting with Hailey is a bad idea. She is behaving like a teenager in her interactions with Brady and that is not worth your time. My gut tells me that meeting her that way would end badly. If you really want to make a statement about Brady at work, send him flowers or something like that. Something public. If Brady asks why you can say you were thinking of him and you love him. (true). He has to walk out of the hospital with them and people will want to know where they came from. The gossip grapevine could be a useful tool here. Hailey is very likely going to hear about it. Maybe even throw down and send flowers every day for a week. Now THAT would be a statement.

    And what Brady’s friend said, whatever the context, was really a disrespectful, sexist thing to say. “Boys will be boys”, my ass. It was rude. He was talking down to you (or in this case about you). It doesn’t matter how he meant it, it was not a nice thing to say. Even if he may have meant it as a compliment, it’s backhanded and It objectifies you. I am glad you at least let him know that you heard. He should be ashamed of himself.

    Just my usual two cents. 🙂

      • Cheeky says:

        My bf said receiving flowers (specifically at work) is a little emasculating…but he said a those fruit bouquets are all good

      • Sara says:

        He might not be so into it, but it’s a way of making a point and staking your claim. It will likely confuse the hell out of Brady, but it is a public declaration that is not too aggressive. If he asks why you can say you felt like telling him you loved him in a way that was outside of the box. I just am afraid that meeting Hailey at Brady’s workplace might blow up on you. He freaked out when everything blew up with Jessica.

  4. Amanda says:

    If this Hailey is so young she must have Instagram/Facebook etc. Get Brady to open up his profile where there just happens to be lots of pictures of you two looking hot (of course) and in love.
    Oh as I don’t like the whole Daniela thing where she was talking about you when you were right there. I get she works for his grandparents, not him or you, but still extremely rude and unprofessional. I think this is one time you totally have a right to get upset because it probably makes you feel uncomfortable (rightfully so) and why should you be expected to be ok with people having conversations that they all know you dont understand. hahah next time record that crap then get it translated!!

    • omg I know. Brady and Hailey aren’t friends on Facebook so it’s not like she sees all our pictures together and stuff. I just wish he would tell her about me.

      • Amanda says:

        Even if they aren’t friends, if she has a crush Im sure she checks out his profile. LOL don’t deny it – we all do it. If I had a superpower sometimes I think it would be to be able to see private FB profiles 😛

    • Sarah Gwen says:

      Totally agree that the Spanish speaking is rude without translation, but Brady is the one who should be translating for you, especially if it’s obvious they’re talking about you! I’d definitely bring this up to him. And if you recorded it I could translate but I think he’d just translate if you demanded it nicely. Haha. Also, are you interested in learning Spanish? I bet he’d have fun teaching you. I’m teaching my boyfriend during sex and it’s pretty fun, his vocabulary is very limited so far to nookie related things.
      But seriously, I’ve traveled all over and you don’t not translate for people if you can and especially when they would otherwise be a part of the conversation.

      • i actually started to learn Spanish last year, but I wasn’t patient enough. and learning Spanish while having sex? lol never heard of it but I’ll suggest it to Brady 😎

  5. Jess says:

    I completely agree with Sara! Couldn’t have said that better myself! Just be smart. If you think your job sucks, take a leap of faith and go for this new opportunity. Sometimes change is for the best!

  6. Going to the gift shop is not a good idea. I have a feeling that it is very likely to end badly.

    I think you should take the new job. If the job description is something you think you will enjoy doing. You mostly went back to your old job because of Diana and you seem pretty unhappy with your job in the past several posts.

    Also, you are practically a saint. I would not have been able to let it go if I knew that people were talking about me in a different language while I was sitting right there. I would have hounded Brady until he told me exactly what was said. Lol.

    • ugh, obviously they were talking about me (even Brady looked at me to see if I noticed), but I thought I would look insecure if I badgered him to tell me what they said. plus he would probably just lie

  7. Danielle says:

    I honestly don’t think there’s much to worry about with Hailey. She seems like a silly teenager and Brady seems to be ignoring her for the most part. But if it’s really bothering you, I would just really nicely ask Brady to slip you into conversation with her, just so she knows about your existence. Especially if she’s asking about his vacation, it would be really easy to do. I’m not sure if I think going to the gift shop is a good idea, just because Hailey kind of seems immature, so I’m not sure how it would go… Either really well, or really poorly.
    Congrats on your job offer as well! I think it sounds like a good opportunity. This guy seems pretty chill and I feel like you would be getting a lot of the freedom you had before back. I think it’s something to seriously consider since you’ve been sounding pretty miserable lately, but I would get back to him soon since you told him you only needed a day! Good luck!

  8. kelseyxsays says:

    Did Scott ask for your resume or add you on LinkedIn or anything so he could look at your job history and experience? I think it’s sketchy that he would up and offer you some amazing job without knowing your core skillsets and if you would genuinely be a good fit for the job. I would definitely ask for more information and research the company, because a lot of things that are too good to be true… are. Especially in business. So, just be careful! You don’t want to keep hopping from one bad job to another.

    • yeah, we did all that before our meeting. and afterward he sent me an official job offer with the job description and it does sound like something I’d like to do and I might be good at (similar to what I was doing before).

      • kelseyxsays says:

        Okay, awesome! I assumed that was the case, but just wanted to call that out, JIC! People are crazy these days. lol I’m happy for you though! If you’ve checked everything out and it seems legit, it sounds like a great opportunity! 🙂

  9. Amber says:

    When I first started dating my husband, one of his friends sent him a text after meeting us out one night and asked if he was tapping that ass yet! So I do think that is something that guys just say!

    Congrats on the job offer! I would lean towards taking it – you are not happy in your current job and this seems like a great opportunity. Plus you are still young – it is not like you couldn’t move jobs again if it didn’t work out.

    I would be very annoyed with Daniela! That was so rude!! I would have asked what they were saying. She rubbed me the wrong way the last time you visited and saw her too!!

    • it’s so rude! that actually happened to me another time too when I went on a date with a guy who I was hooked up with by our mutual friends. one of our friends texting him saying, “get some p*ssy yet?” guys are assholes!

      • Sarah Gwen says:

        We gotta call them out for that misogynistic bullshit!! It’s important!!
        It doesn’t have to be some huge feministy rant, just say: “When you refer to me as ‘that’ you are objectifying me and I don’t appreciate it.” Simple as that. If they apologize, great, if they don’t, Brady better apologize for them or I will give him mondo feminist lecture for you!

  10. Sarbear says:

    I’ve got to be honest, I find the way Brady treats you to be super sketch. Why would someone he’s talked to long enough for them to get his number not know about you? Why would his friend refer to your long term live in relationship as “tapping that”? Why would anyone allow for someone to speak about you in another language and not say that it is rude and unacceptable?

    My fiance is what I call a “puppy person”. He tends to assume that all positive attention indicates that people want to be his friend, because why would anyone want more when they know he’s with me? Sometimes people get crushes, its awkward, whatever. But I never have any doubts that he has made it very clear that he is in a very serious relationship with me and that he loves me. That should never be a question, that your partner will make it clear that you are a priority. Your partner should make you feel secure, you shouldnt feel the need to check up on them at work or to introduce yourself because you’ve never been mentioned.

    My fiancé also has many guy friends, many of whom have super raunchy senses of humor (and theyre all idiot boys, super fun, but idiots). They have never ever said anything like that to or about me, because they always knew that I wasn’t some hookup or bimbo. That you were spoken of like that makes me seriously question what or jow much he’s telling his friends about you.

    And I am multilingual, and have family that doesn’t speak English too well, and I would never engage in or allow a conversation to happen about my SO that he didn’t understand. I have, in fact, translated specifically to ensure he was in the loop. That Brady doesn’t do that for you is massively inconsiderate and disrespectful.

    FINALLY, didn’t you tell Scott that you would give him an answer in one day? At this point you’ve waited way longer than that, which would give a terrible impression. Who knows if that position is even available any more?

    You are definitely remaining chill, but being a better girlfriend doesn’t mean sweeping things under the rug. It means bringing things up and discussing them together to find a solution. And those discussions might become arguments, and that’s fine and healthy. It is horribly unhealthy though to stuff all of this. You should write him an email detailing these situations and how they are affecting you (using non accusatory language, like “when you do this, I feel this”). And you should probably also mention his weird and shittastic flip flopping on marriage. Just my lengthy 2 cents.

    • I completely agree. I think Brady is such a passive push over and wants to avoid confrontation that it eventually turns into this. although it isn’t hard to just tell a girl “I have a girlfriend.” I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that when there have been times I didn’t tell guys I had a boyfriend. I like the idea of sending an email, writing down all my thoughts really helps. maybe I’ll write an email and send it then when Brady doesn’t respond (cuz he won’t) I’ll make him talk about it when we get home. don’t worry? I’ve talked to Scott.

      • Sarbear says:

        Oh, good! You didn’t mention it and I got all worried for you 🙂 if Brady doesn’t respond via email, first ask if he got it. If he says yes, ask him what he thinks about it. If he says no, ask him to please read it now and then give at least an hour for him to process. It’s so sad how sure you are that he won’t be willing to communicate with you. If he doesn’t start surprising you soon, maybe it’s time to consider that you deserve much better than him.

      • Sarah Gwen says:

        Agreed so much with Sarbear!
        This: “Your partner should make you feel secure, you shouldn’t feel the need to check up on them at work or to introduce yourself because you’ve never been mentioned.” Talk to him, I think he does love you, he just needs to be taught how to take care of you.

    • Ellie says:

      I would say that this is perception. Brady knows how he feels and how they view you is on them. Brady has never dated anyone like you. So to them you aren’t from their realm. Brady probably took it as a “right on” that they said something thinking you were a babe.

      But none of that matters you have to tell him how you felt and say you felt uncomfortable which you did. But also think of the times that women have made comments about Brady and them come up with a reaction that both you and he can do.

      Also Brady could have looked at you for any reason. They could have said something super inappropriate and he looked at you to see if you understood anything. You also have to remember that both women are probably use to speaking freely because I am sure no one but Brady in that house understands them.

      Was Brady speaking in that conversation or can he just understand?

      • Anna says:

        I agree, unless Reese knows what they girls were saying to one another, it’s a huge assumption to just think they were talking about her. Especially that they were talking sh*t about her. In front of her boyfriend. Who speaks Spanish (and they know that he does). Chances are it didn’t involve her at all and, if it did and they were being derogatory, Brady’s an *ss to not say something to them immediately. The only way to know is to ask them what they were talking about. Chances are he’ll remember.

  11. Lesley says:

    Of course Brady didn’t respond to Haley over the weekend. You said on Twitter that the two of you wouldn’t be using your phones so I don’t think he did it out respect I think it was more because he physically wasn’t able to. Interesting that the maid was talking crap about you to your face. Makes me wonder if I was right that they have something going on and she recognizes you as a rival or an obstacle. Did you ask Brady what was said?

    • well the plan was not to use our phones, but that didn’t work out exactly like we planned. plus we wanted to be available in case the people who were babysitting Tucker had any questions or concerns. no, I didn’t ask Brady what Daniela said, I explained that in a previous comment. A

  12. Gee says:

    I say this with genuine concern … You’ve posted several times about getting so drunk you don’t remember what happened (black out drunk). That’s a very serious signal that maybe you should do something about.

    You should tell Brady discussing you in another language with someone is rude. The fact that he looked at you the way he did shows he knows it was wrong and is just hoping you won’t bring it up.

    As far as being ‘chill’ there is a world of difference between ‘crazy girlfriend’ and ‘doormat’.

    You can share your feelings and expectations without going crazy girlfriend.

    Your last few posts have been about things that seriously bother you, yet you can’t or won’t bring up — that’s a recipe for disaster.

    Congratulations on the job offer. Your 20s are the perfect time to explore opportunities.

    • Lesley says:

      Anyone else trying to figure out what Daniel and the other girl said using the terms woman and tomorrow? Maybe it was “he and the woman are leaving tomorrow”

      • Sarah Gwen says:

        I thought ‘woman’ to be his grandma. Reese is young and hot, you don’t refer to her nearly as often as mujer, more like chica, and if she was there it would be ella, just to refer to”her”. I think they were just saying grandma was coming home tomorrow but how long was the convo?
        Rude of him not to enlighten Reese nonetheless.

      • Sarah Gwen says:

        I thought ‘woman’ to be his grandma. Reese is young and hot, you don’t refer to her nearly as often as mujer, more like chica, and if she was there it would be ella, just to refer to”her”. I think they were just saying grandma was coming home tomorrow but how long was the convo?

    • yeah, I’ve said that once I start drinking I can’t stop. it didn’t help that the drinks were really strong. I know it’s a problem. I just need to limit myself. I feel like I’ve mellowed out so much lately that I hardly address anything. I like to vent about it on here but I never actually do anything about it and pretend things are okay. it’s bad. I’m not really sure what changed because I used to be the most confrontational person ever.

  13. Megg says:

    Take the job!! You have every right to explore option and gain experience!! If you feel good about the company, then go for it and make it what you want it to be! You need a good change in your life…this could be something great!

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