My life is so dramatic.
On Friday we were going out to celebrate my new job plus it was just an excuse to drink. We decided to have people over to pregame beforehand and I invited Luke. And he brought Stacey. Can you believe that? I didn’t think I would have to remind him that she was not invited, but apparently Luke wanted to force us to be friends.
I literally groaned when Luke walked in with Stacey trailing him. He had a 6-pack of beer with him and she waltzed in wearing a tight bodysuit and wide leg pants. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I wore wide leg pants to work last week and suddenly Stacey is wearing wide leg pants too. She’s a self proclaimed minimalist who usually wears the Express Columnist pants with a Portofino shirt.
“Hey Reese,” she said immediately. “Your boyfriend’s place is so nice!” And then she laughed. Because that’s all Stacey ever does.
I didn’t even acknowledge her. I poured the group a couple of shots and finished up getting getting ready. I was walking out of the bedroom when I caught Stacey and Luke getting something out of the little liquor cabinet Brady has at the end of the hallway. He keeps more expensive stuff in there and we hardly ever use it.
“Can you fucking not?” I screamed at them.
Stacey started laughing and Luke said, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, are we not allowed to drink it?”
“Uh, no! Why would you think that’s allowed?” I said and snatched the bottle from him. Stacey continued laughing and grabbed Luke to go back to the kitchen where everyone was hanging out.
A little while later, we were finishing up our drinks and Stacey said something like, “Brady, do you share your alcohol you keep in the hallway? Can I have some?”
And since Brady is super nice so he said, “Uh, yeah. Of course.”
“No!” I exclaimed. “I told you no!”
Stacey rolled her eyes and said, “Reese, this is Brady’s house, not yours.”
“Fuck off, you don’t know anything,” I said.
“Reese,” Brady said, gently.
“See how mean she is to me?” Stacey pretended to sniffle.
“She’s so annoying, I literally hate her,” I said just to Brady.
“I know. Just ignore her. She does it just to piss you off,” he replied.
Luckily we left after that and headed to a bar in Old Town. When we were waiting to get in Luke grabbed my arm and whispered, “Hey, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that alcohol was off limits. You aren’t mad, are you?”
“I’m over it, but I don’t like her,” I said.
“That isn’t nice. She likes you,” Luke said.
Funny that Luke would even think Stacey likes me after all this. We hate each other and that’s fine. I got a text from Marco asking what I was doing that night so I told him where we were and invited him to meet us. He was with a few friends and said he would stop by. Brady and Marco have never met and we were a little drunk so I figured we would all be able to get along smoothly.
Kendra and John were already inside at a table. Stacey and Luke said they were going to get drinks, but they ended up disappearing for the rest of the night which I was 100% okay with. When Marco showed up Brady and I had ours arms wrapped around each other.
“Oh my gosh, babe, this is my best friend, Marco,” I said, pulling away.
They shook hands and it was fine, no awkwardness or tension at all. Then Marco pulled me into a hug and said it had been way too long since we’ve seen each other. I was like, “Lol, okay.”
We don’t text as much anymore, but he usually texts me on the weekends and invites me out or asks if I want to do anything.
Brady ordered a round of shots for our table then almost immediately Marco ordered another on his tab. I didn’t realize at the time that it was a competition.
So we all just hung out for a little bit. Brady and Marco seemed to be getting along great so I ran around with Lexi and her friend Alyssa for a little while. I came back and squeezed in between Brady and Marco, putting my arms around either of them.
“I really want to get food after this,” I told them. “I want pancakes and an omelette.”
Brady laughed and Marco said, “I can take you to get food.”
“I want pizza,” I giggled.
“You can have whatever you want.” Brady and I were laughing and playful, but Marco wasn’t laughing. So I skipped off to get more drinks.
I came back a little bit later with a beer and a tray of tots because apparently the kitchen was still open. I sat down next to Kendra and started going to town.
“We’re probably gonna head out,” she told me.
I threw my tot down. “Already? We can go somewhere else if you want.”
“We’re just really tired, Reese,” she said in a disappointed teacher voice. “We had fun though. Congrats on the new job!” We hugged then she and John left.
Brady and Marco were still talking so I got up and grabbed Lexi to go to the bathroom. We stayed down there for a while because we made some friends and needed to take pics and exchange Snapchat names. As we walked back to our table both Brady and Marco just stared at me. They just watched me approach with straight faces. It was really weird.
I threw my arms around Brady’s neck and asked him if he was ready to leave too. He didn’t really hug me back and was just kind of stiff.
“I’m going to get my card,” he said and walked away.
I turned to Marco. “Thanks for coming out! We had so much fun, right?”
“Yeah, always. Are you coming to get food?” he said.
I glanced behind me. “No, I’m gonna wait for my boyf.”
Marco laughed and said, “Okay. Hit me up, all right?”
We hugged and then Marco and his friends left. Brady came back and was really short and called an Uber for us to go home. Obviously I was drunk and happy and didn’t realize something was wrong until we got home.
“What’s going on with you and Marco?” Brady asked when we walked through the front door.
“What do you mean? He’s my BFF,” I said.
“Really?” Brady appeared in front of me. “Your BFF? What does that mean?”
“Best friend forever,” I giggled.
“When you were drinking that beer, he said, ‘She’s good with her mouth, right?’ Did you do something with this dude?”
I don’t know why, but I gasped and then laughed. Probably because I was so uncomfortable. “No! Of course I didn’t.”
“He kept saying shit like that. Talking about your body. I told him to stop and he laughed.”
“What did he say about my body?” I had to know.
“I’m not repeating it. It was derogatory. Do you know what he said when I called you my girlfriend? He said, ‘I don’t know if she’s aware of that.”
I was confused. “He did? What’s that mean?”
“He obviously thinks there is more going on with you guys!” Brady yelled. “And you’ve been making him think that way!”
“I have not!” I shot back. “I haven’t even seen him in forever.”
“Yeah? But you text him, don’t you? Apparently you’re being so friendly that he thinks he has a chance with you!”
My heart started racing. “No! We are friends. I’ve told him all about you.”
Brady started walking toward the bedroom and I followed him. “You can literally go through my phone and read our messages.”
“I don’t want to read your messages, Reese. But I don’t think you should talk to him again. At least show me that much respect.”
I pulled out my phone and texted Marco, “What the fuck is wrong with you, you weirdo?”
Out loud I said, “Of course I won’t. I’m sorry. I had no idea he was so crazy.”
We hashed it out (or so I thought), hooked up and went to sleep. Brady woke me up early on Saturday morning so we could get breakfast then he was going to work for a few hours. The meal was fine and we didn’t mention Marco at all. Everything seemed to be back to normal. And by the way, Marco sent back a smiling emoji and didn’t bother explaining himself.
I took Brady to work then went home to hang out with my baby Tucker. We watched a ton of TV, made muffins and texted Carly. Later on in the evening, I got out the iPad to play the hair salon app and I thought it would be fun to check Brady’s messages. The first one at the top was Lindsey and I opened it. It didn’t take me long to realize they were talking about me.
“I think you really need to take a step back and think about what kind of relationship you deserve,” was the last thing she said.
I scrolled up and saw that Brady told her what happened on Friday night. Apparently Marco said things like, “Look, she has her tits our for me,” and “I love it when she bends over the table like that,” and “Looks like Reese has been doing her squats.” And when Brady tried to defend me, Marco just laughed.
Lindsey said, “Eww. What has she been doing with him that makes him think this is okay?”
Brady said, “That’s the thing, I don’t know.”
“I don’t like this situation at all. You deserve answers,” Lindsey said.
Ugh! I get that Brady is allowed to talk to his friends about our relationship (I do too), but he could at least talk to me about it too. I felt weird about all of it and especially gross that people were talking about me and thinking about me in that way. I cleaned the house from top to bottom then headed to get Brady from work.
“Hey,” Brady said, kissing me when he got in the car.
I started home and blurted out, “I think we should take a break.”
Brady threw his hands up like he was frustrated. “What? Why?”
“Because neither of us trust each other, we can’t communicate and we obviously don’t know what we want,” I explained.
“What?” he said again.
“We suck at this. You don’t want to go to therapy and we can’t figure out how to make this work on our own.”
“So I’ll move out.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“I’ll find somewhere to go obviously.”
“Reese, why are you doing this?”
I started crying. “Because! I don’t know how to have a normal relationship and you deserve better! Don’t pretend like you don’t agree! All your friends and family hates me, like it’s fine. We don’t have to force it.”
Brady didn’t say anything for a while and the only sound was me sniffling. Finally he said, “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I’ll stay downstairs,” I said.
We didn’t say anything the rest of the ride home. We ordered pizza for dinner and watched a movie, but then when it was time for bed, I took Tucker to the guest room to sleep. And obviously cried all night because I’m a crazy person.
Brady knocked on the door this morning and woke me up. I shouted for him to come in and he had breakfast. Ugh. Why is he so sweet to me? We decided to get up and go to church with Kendra and John and afterwards we grabbed a quick lunch with them. I asked Brady to drop me off at Nordstrom after that.
“Do you want me to wait in the car or come in with you?” he asked me.
“I’ll find a way home,” I told him.
He sighed dramatically. “Why are you doing this, Reese?”
“Because we need a break, Brady! You need to step back and think about the kind of relationship you deserve.”
He didn’t seem to catch that I’d repeated Lindsey’s text verbatim and said okay. So I walked around Nordstrom for a few hours just looking at everything. I didn’t even try anything on. I went to the beauty department and forced myself to buy a bunch of things I don’t need. Brady texted me saying he was going to a super bowl party and did I want to come? I told him to go ahead without me.
So he’s still out. I’m so confused and depressed. I don’t know what a “break” is supposed to do, but I really want to talk to Brady about it tonight when he gets home. I feel like I’m acting guilty and maybe I am a little bit. I can’t imagine my life without him and I don’t want to, but maybe us not being together would be for the best. As much as it pains me to say it. We just don’t know how to make this work and new issues come up every week. Why can’t we just have a normal relationship! Seriously! But I do think we should take a step back and regroup.