My first week of work was pretty uneventful. I’ve been mostly shadowing Scott and getting settled in. I haven’t spent much time with my team, but they seem okay. There’s already one girl I’m not sure if I’m going to like. She’s really sarcastic, which is great because I am too, but that’s not exactly the best first impression you can make on someone especially your new boss.

We were in the office and Scott wanted to show me something on the computer, but my credentials weren’t working so he asked the girl (Jamie) to log in with hers. She began typing then snapped at me, “Don’t look at my password!”

Like, okay. As if I need your password, peasant. Later on we were talking about the dress code and culture of the office and Jamie said, “Honestly, I just wear leggings everyday.”

I replied, “I don’t even own any leggings.”

Which I guess technically isn’t true, but I probably only have three pairs total. Leggings just aren’t my thing.

“How do you not have leggings? It’s 2016,” Jamie said.

Stacey 2.0? I figured she must have felt like my leggings comment was shady, but it wasn’t and I was over the top nice to her the rest of the day. She didn’t really seem to warm up to me all that much though.

Brady had several friends coming to town for the weekend and the first arrived on Friday evening. He’s a kid Brady went to college with named Eric. He’s visited before and he seemed fine. He got in at around 6:00 and got an Uber from the airport because Brady and I were busy getting ready. We planned on going to dinner then having a few drinks. But when Eric got to the house, he and Brady were so excited to see each other that they immediately started drinking. At this point I’d decided I was limiting myself to two drinks at dinner so I just spent a ton of time getting ready while they drank. I put on a dress, leather jacket, booties and a shit ton of face highlight.

We met up with another of Brady’s friends at the restaurant and the three of them got a beer pitcher and I got a modest blueberry mojito. It kind of seemed like a boys night, but I felt like I had to stick around and babysit because Brady was getting really drunk. I know he can take care of himself, but I’ve really taken on the doting wife role. I was yawning all through dinner and Brady was like, “Aww, babe, are you tired? Let’s get you another drink.” And eventually I had two full drinks in front of me plus the one I was working on.

We didn’t get home until 3:30 AM. I was exhausted and crabby, obviously. At first every time Brady ordered a new drink, I’d tell him it was his last then he would pout and say he wasn’t ready. Have the roles reversed? That used to be me all the time.

The St. Patrick’s Day parade and dyeing of the Chicago River was the next morning so we had to wake up at 6:00 to get ready and meet the rest of Brady’s friends. I literally cried because we got no sleep. Brady made bacon, eggs and oatmeal for all of us then some sort of orange juice cocktail for me while they all drank beer.

I wasn’t feeling the super festivey St. Patty’s Day green so I wore an olive green shirt dress (still green though so it counts), my Converse, a jacket and Ray Bans. We met up with Lindsey and some of their friends from back home.

Lindsey, who was wearing white jeans and a green “Chicago” sweatshirt, took one look at me and said, “Reese, where’s your green?”

I replied, “Literally my entire dress is green.”

She laughed and hugged me.

After the parade, we elbowed our way to an Irish bar that one of Brady’s friends had VIP passes to. How do you have VIP passes to a bar? Some people take St. Patrick’s Day so seriously.

Anyway, we got in and ordered these disgusting leprechaun shots and two towers of green beer. Soon, Brady was super drunk and ordering rounds of shots for everyone. Maybe I’m getting old, but I just wasn’t in the mood to drink that early. But I figured if I started drinking, it would force me to be in the mood.

At around 3:00 pm I was sobering up after a long morning of obnoxious PDA with Brady. So sorry to anyone who witnessed us making out. We went to a different bar for food and I figured we were winding down and probably going to head home after we ate. But someone ordered more shots.

“Oh my gosh,” I groaned. “Can we not do this right now?”

Brady started dying laughing (how was that at all funny?) and said, “Do what?” Then he took his shot. I was not amused.

We were out until midnight. Fucking midnight. They were raging all day and every time I tried to go home, Brady would whine and beg me not to. And he was so drunk and cute that I couldn’t. Plus there were a lot of girls out who were also drunk and cute so.

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling like complete shit, but we had plans to have brunch with Brady’s out of town visitors. Can you believe Brady woke up at 9:00 am ready to hit the streets? Obviously I don’t know how to rage anymore because I could barely get out of bed. And then all those psychos ordered Bloodys at brunch. I never wanted to see alcohol again.

“How are you even alive right now?” I asked Brady.

“What do you mean? It’s St. Patrick’s Day,” he said as if that somehow explained anything. Brady and I weren’t together last year for St. Patty’s Day so I wasn’t aware that he’s so into it. He isn’t even Irish.

Tucker and I stayed in bed the rest of the day while Brady cleaned. Lindsey stopped by for dinner and I couldn’t even pull myself out of bed to greet her.

“Can’t hang, Reese?” she laughed.

Nope.

Luckily I was back to life on Monday for work. I’ve gotten pretty close with the girl who is in charge of our client experience, Monica. We usually go to lunch together and talk about our lives. She has a long term boyfriend who she’s hoping will propose soon. I know y’all are probably going to say that I need to stop going to lunch with her. Whatever.

But anyway, Monica doesn’t retain information well and it’s so annoying. Scott will tell us both something and literally five minutes later she will come find me and say, “Wait, what did he say?” and she asks me how to do stuff all the time. Like, it’s my second week! I’m honestly just not impressed with her performance. I wonder if that’s what people at my old job said about me, lol.

And another thing about work, I don’t mean to complain but maybe y’all can give me some advice. Scott has stopped really teaching me anything. Anything I want or need to know about my job I have to go find him and ask him, which is fine, but I feel stupid and like I need a ton of guidance. I don’t, I just want to do things correctly. I get that I’m in a senior role and have to be a self starter, but I can’t do my job without knowing anything. I feel like that isn’t setting me up for success. And I don’t want to sound like a baby and complain to him about it.

So Brady and I made last minute plans to go visit Carly and Chris this weekend in Philly. I’m so excited because I’ve never been! But whatever we do, I am not drinking. Did you ever think I’d say that?