So after Brady and I made up, he started ignoring me again. At first I didn’t think it was deliberate – he’d stay at work late and not get home until I was sleeping then leave for work before I even woke up. One night I decided to stay up and confront him. I sat on the living room couch for about an hour waiting for him to get home and then I finally heard the front door open. I stood up at the entrance of the living room anticipating his arrival.
And then Brady appeared. He glanced at me, gave me a polite smile and then kept on walking. If I had any doubt that he was ignoring me, that gave me my answer. I didn’t know what to do. I sat back down on the couch and waited until I heard him get in the shower and then I went to bed.
The next few nights, similar things happened. I started to just avoid him all together, making sure to be in bed with Tucker by 9:30 so I could miss Brady.
On Friday after work, I did some light shopping. While I was out trying on shoes, I decided I was going to just talk to Brady. We were being ridiculous and it was all stupid. I texted him, “Are you home?” and he didn’t immediately respond. I grabbed my bags and headed home.
When I walked in, Brady was sitting on the couch next to a girl. She was pretty. Asian with Kylie Jenner lips and a messy bun on top of her head. She saw me and smiled then turned to Brady excitedly like she had gossip to share with him. Brady just stared at me and bit his lip. I stood there stupidly for a minute, not exactly sure what to do. Like, do I introduce myself? Who the hell was that? Was that why he was suddenly never home?
Finally, when I felt like I was going to cry, I walked away. I went to the bedroom and dropped my bags then paced for a few seconds. Brady walked in after me and I stopped. We stared at each other.
“Brady, do you want another drink?” the girl called.
“Hey,” Brady said to me, ignoring the Kylie wannabe in the kitchen. “We’re going out. Do you want to come?”
“No,” I scoffed because the question was stupid.
“Okay,” Brady said and just continued standing there.
“Yeah, so have fun,” I said.
He nodded and walked out.
After he left, I threw a silent fit. I cried for approximately one minute before deciding that it was my own fault for being a standoffish bitch. I pulled myself together and decided to shower and get ready to enjoy the night on my own.
I got out of the shower and put on a cute romper because I was meeting Preston and his friends in Boystown. In the middle of curling my hair, I heard Lindsey come into the bedroom.
“Reese!” she called and I walked out of the bathroom to meet her. “You look so cute! Ugh, you always have the cutest outfits.”
She hugged me and said, “Brady said you weren’t coming out!”
“I’m hanging out with my gay best friend in Boystown,” I explained.
Lindsey pouted. “Well, if you get bored, meet up with us!”
I told her I would. Once I was fully dressed and ready to go I decided to go prance around the house because I looked good and I wanted Kylie Lips to see me. She’d been wearing a plain t-shirt dress and flat sandals.
All of Brady’s other friends greeted me happily and I made sure he was seeing how popular I am amongst his circle. It didn’t seem like Brady told anyone, even Lindsey, that we were having relationship issues. Which I guess I wouldn’t expect him to. I paid special attention to how Brady and the girl, whose name I gathered was Tia, interacted, but there was nothing really to see. I didn’t like how she was waltzing around the kitchen and making drinks like she owned the place though. Definitely wasn’t her first time over.
Someone suggested we all take shots so we did then I called my Uber to pick me up. On my way out, Brady followed me and said, “Hey,” really quietly almost like he didn’t even want me to hear him.
I turned to him.
“I hope you have fun,” he said. And then he stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “Um, do you want to take my card?”
Did I look that poor?
“No,” I said like it was the most ridiculous question ever because it kind of was.
Brady nodded.
“My driver is here. See you later,” I said and left.
I really didn’t want to go and I probably should have stayed home. I sat in the booth and drank margaritas while Preston and his friends danced. Pretty early on, I decided to call it a night and Preston pouted a ton before allowing me to leave. It was a partying night so I couldn’t exactly explain to him what was going on and why I wasn’t even in the mood.
I got home and was secretly afraid I was going to find Brady and Tia in bed together. But thank God I didn’t. I grabbed a bag of Doritos and got in bed.
I didn’t hear Brady come home on Friday night and I woke up pissed about it. I got up and stomped to the kitchen to start making breakfast, being extra loud with the pots and pans because Brady wasn’t home and I was upset. I called Tucker to go outside and on the way to the door, I saw Brady passed out on the living room couch in his clothes from the night before. Oops.
A few hours later, I was cleaning the bedroom and I heard Brady finally wake up. He showered in the main bathroom and I knew he’d have to come to the bedroom to get dressed. So I got the hell out of there. I went down to the basement and worked on abs for a little while.
That night I went to a bar with Lexi and our friend Alyssa. I was exhausted from my day of avoiding Brady and I needed to drink. We sat at the bar checking all the preppy guys, but none of them even came over to talk to us. Rude. I didn’t care though, I was just there to drink.
I had brunch with Kendra and John on Sunday. They demanded to know where Brady was and I informed them that he was out jogging with Lindsey which was true. They’d decided to go on a ten mile run to ease into the summer which was just so sickening. Obviously I declined their invitation to tag along.
On Monday, Memorial Day, I went to a cookout party with Lexi and Alyssa. It was at a mansion out in the suburbs, had a professional bartender and vegetarian food options. My kind of party. Lexi ended up meeting a guy there. He is a bit older than us, divorced, but no children, and works as an anesthesiologist. Such a good catch for Lexi!
Alyssa noticed that I was being quiet (i. e. not myself) and asked what was wrong.
“Nothing. I’m just hungry still,” I said. Which was partly true. Everyone was eating burgers and they looked delicious, but it was so against my diet.
Eventually, I just caved and grabbed a burger, piling it high with mustard, ketchup, pickles and everything else on the condiment table. After the week I had, I thought it would cheer me up.
It didn’t.
When I got home later that evening, Brady wasn’t home, but I’d seen on Snapchat that he and Lindsey were at a party. I showered and got in bed without even putting on clothes.
I’m not sure how long I’d been sleeping when I heard Brady come home. I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head, trying to ignore him so I could go back to sleep. I was dozing off again when I heard Brady walk in and felt him get in bed next to me. What the hell?
At first, I was just going to ignore him. But then he spooned me and started kissing my neck and shoulders. I kind of tried to inch away, but honestly, I didn’t try that hard. I let him kiss me and fondle me a little but before I turned to face him. It was dark, but from the little light coming from the window I could see his cute face.
I didn’t say anything though and neither did he. We began kissing and taking his clothes off and eventually he ended up on top of me.
Brady hovered over me and I could feel his hard penis, but he didn’t put it in. Okay… He was just staring at me, like he was waiting for me to say something or do something.
“What?” I finally said in a bitchy voice.
“Nothing,” Brady said and then he entered me. A few seconds later, he asked, “How was your day?”
Talk about being socially awkward.
“Fine,” I said back
And then he stopped trying to have small talk. Once we were done, Brady snuggled next to me. I was so annoyed at myself for having sex with him and at him for initiating it. Obviously I wasn’t going to say no. I pushed him off and pouted.
“Hey, Reese?” Brady said.
“Hmm?” I said back, still very annoyed.
“I love you. I don’t think we should fight anymore.”
Great! All of our problems were suddenly solved! I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not fighting with you,” I said.
“Well, you’re acting like it.”
“No, you’re acting like it! You have been purposely avoiding coming home and you don’t ever text me like you used to. And then you have some bimbo over for drinks. Don’t blame this on me.”
“I’m sorry,” was all he said, but offered no explanation and didn’t deny any of it.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and I don’t know what came over me, but I woke Brady up with a blowjob. What did he do to deserve that? We hooked up again and then went back to sleep.
The next morning, Brady was gone by the time I woke up. Ugh. He could have at least said goodbye. I decided to work from home and didn’t leave the house. I don’t know why, but I expected Brady to text me since I’d called him out on it, but he didn’t. And I wasn’t about to text him first.
Kendra invited me over for dinner after work and I was excited to leave the house. She made a vegetarian Caribbean dish because she respects my diet.
“So what’s new? How’s Brady?” she asked.
“Nothing. Fine,” I said back.
“You aren’t still giving him a hard time, are you?” John asked.
I can’t stand John.
“No and I never was. Maybe hear both sides of the story before forming your opinion,” I said.
“Whoa, whoa,” John said, looking at Kendra and back to me. “I’m kidding.”
I glared at him.
“I feel bad for Brady,” Kendra said. “He’s just so sweet. How can you be mean to him? He doesn’t mean any harm.”
“I’m not being mean to him!” I exclaimed.
Kendra and John looked at each other.
“The food is good,” I said to change the subject.
Neither of them said anything.
A little bit later, Kendra said, “So Reese, I have something to tell you.”
“Okay. What? You’re pregnant?”
I was just kidding, but Kendra nodded.
“I just found out! Like literally this morning,” she said.
“Oh my God,” I said.
“I missed my period and decided to take a test. I’m probably 6 weeks now,” she continued.
I looked at John and he was gazing at her proudly. I just blinked at them. I felt tears forming and I don’t even know why.
“Wow, I’m happy for you,” I said numbly. “You’re going to be such a great mother.”
Kendra nodded happily and I started crying right there at the dinner table.
“Reese?” Kendra called.
“No, I’m fine. I’m really happy,” I said and honestly, it was true. Kendra is the most nurturing and disciplined person I know. Any kid would be lucky to have her as a mom.
I got up and hugged her and finally John got the hint to go away. He’s so annoying and I’m annoyed that she told me in front of him. It should’ve been a private moment for us.
On Wednesday, we had a training and some meetings for work so I got off early, around 2 PM. I went to the grocery store and ran some errands then went home.
I sat on the couch watching tv for like three hours straight. It was such a wasteful afternoon. I started on dinner then sat back down on the couch. I heard Brady walk in and I was actually pretty excited to see him. It sounded like he was talking to someone though so I jumped up to see if he was with Tia. When he walked past me I realized that he was on the phone and it didn’t sound like he was talking to his mom. He sounded relaxed and happy, not super formal and uptight. Brady gave me a small wave before walking to the bedroom.
I wanted to die.
I ate my dinner and alone and texted Brady that there was dinner if he was hungry. He didn’t text me back.
On Thursday, I almost quit my job. I got to the office really early to work on some sales figures to send out. I sent it to Mike and Scott and within minutes, Scott replied:
“Reese,
You did this wrong. And we are in fiscal month June now. Please double and triple check anything you send to Mike and let me look over it first so we aren’t wasting his time with incorrect information. Thanks.”
I wanted to cry because I was so frustrated. I literally only did what I was taught. I debated replying to his email, but decided I was too heated and couldn’t guarantee that it would be polite.
When I saw Scott later that morning, he cornered me asking if I got his email.
“Yes, I did. I did the sales figures the way you taught me,” I said.
“It looks like you need another tutorial then. Are you free this afternoon?” he said.
I nodded.
So my afternoon tutorial was Scott teaching me things I already knew. At first I just pretended it was fine then finally I said, “Yes, I already know this.” It was a complete waste of time. When I got back to my office, I drafted half of my resignation letter before realizing that I was being super dramatic. Instead, I decided to finally write a letter to Brady. A lot of y’all suggested I do it and I thought it would be a great way to get all my feelings out.
I had so much to say. And to my surprise, it wasn’t passive aggressive or condescending at all. It was genuinely heartfelt and sweet. I copy and pasted it into the body of an email and saved it as a draft to send while I was in LA.
My mom and I were complaining about needing a vacation and I mentioned that I was considering going to LA and she invited herself. I figured a mother/daughter trip might be okay. At the very least, we could use the time to complain about our men.
I didn’t go to see Devin. I realized that I was so angry with Brady for ignoring me that I was desperate enough to want to use Devin as revenge. But honestly, my past two flashback posts reminded me why I hate him so much and why I would never go down that road again. I can’t believe I even entertained the idea. How disgusting. I’m sorry. Apparently he’s been spending all his time with some rich woman so I haven’t heard from him. And we aren’t mentioning him on the blog anymore.
Anyway, I sent the email to Brady right before my flight took off. My mom and I ordered mojitos and discussed our plans for LA (shopping, laying by the pool, drinking). When we landed, I eagerly turned my phone off airplane mode to see if Brady replied to my email. He didn’t.
We checked into our hotel and immediately changed into our bathing suits and headed down to the pool. My mom doused herself in SPF, but I laid out for two hours bare because I wanted to be a bronze goddess.
The night we got dressed up to get dinner and drinks in Hollywood. I hate LA by the way. No way I could ever live there or even visit more often than once every five years. It’s just so stupid and pretentious. My mom loves it. She would totally move there in a heartbeat.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had a text from Brady. I was so nervous to open it. I couldn’t even remember the last time he had texted me.
It said, “I miss you.”
And I didn’t know what to say. The only logical response was, “Miss you too.”
He said, “When do you get back? Can I pick you up from the airport?”
So I told him and said if he wanted to, I gave him permission to pick me up. We texted a little bit throughout the day, just talking about what we were doing. He didn’t mention the email and neither did I.
My mom and I did some shopping and had a more intimate dinner at a new vegan sushi restaurant. I’d told her all about me and Brady’s issues and filled her in on the latest. I felt a little bad about rambling on about my relationship drama when she had drama of her own, but she’d made it clear that she didn’t want to talk about my dad.
Later on, it was really late, my mom and I were still out and I was texting Brady again. He told me that he’d had dinner with a girl named Elizabeth, who I don’t know. I ran to a corner of the bar and sat down so I could get to the bottom of it.
“Who is she? How do you know her?” I asked.
“She has a boyfriend. Don’t worry,” Brady replied.
What the hell? I was drunk and confused and sent him back a ton of angry emojis.
“Did she pay for herself?” I asked.
“No, I paid.”
“SO IT WAS A DATE.”
Brady didn’t immediately reply and I said, “How can you say you miss me when you’re taking girls on dates and being a home wrecker?”
Brady called me and I answered, but it was so loud in the bar that I couldn’t hear a word he said. We hung up and he texted me explaining that it wasn’t a date even though they went to dinner together alone on a Saturday night and he paid for everything. He said he wasn’t interested in her at all, she has a serious boyfriend that knew about the non-date and that I was overreacting. I got up and went to find my mom to continue drinking.
When we got back to the hotel it was after 2:00 AM and we were exhausted. I got in bed and checked my phone one last time. Brady had texted me, “You’re the only person I want, Reese.”
I felt like shit when I woke up on Sunday morning and my flight left at 9:00 AM LA time. I woke up late and had to rush to the airport. My mom was staying for another day so she stayed at the hotel and got ready for the day.
Luckily, I was able to sleep off my hangover (and the McDonald’s breakfast helped) so I felt a little better by the time we landed. I had to wait a few minutes for Brady to get me, but when he pulled up, I can’t even lie, I was super excited and kind of nervous to see him. He hopped out and helped me put my bag in the trunk and then he kind of awkwardly kissed my cheek. Literally love him.
There was a pink box of donuts sitting on the passenger seat. And he knows the way to my heart. I finished an entire chocolate iced with sprinkles before speaking.
“How was your weekend?” I asked.
“I missed you,” Brady said.
I smiled.
“Does that mean you aren’t going to ignore me this week?”
“Are you going to ignore me?” he asked.
I gasped. “I never ignored you!”
Brady glanced at me. “You didn’t?”
“Uh, no. I’ve been waiting for you to get over whatever issues you have and talk to me.”
“I have, too.”
“Well, I’m over it.”
“I am too.”
We didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride, but when we got home he started excitedly telling me about a high end juicer he ordered. So back to normal things.
I napped and when I woke up, Brady was gone and hadn’t texted me letting me know where he was going. Out with Tia? We hadn’t talked as much as I wanted (we hadn’t even discussed Kendra’s pregnancy!) and certainly hadn’t talked about my email.
I texted him, “Where are you?” and he said, “Out.”
Like fuck you. Don’t say you want to make up then be a dick. I didn’t say that though and just sat around waiting for him to get home.
When Brady finally got home, he had picked up dinner and ice cream, but he was on the phone again. He’s being so weird. But like, not hiding that he’s weird. I hate it.
We sat on the living room couch and I finally asked, “Did you get my email?”
And Brady nodded. “Yes. It was very thoughtful.”
“Ugh! Why didn’t you respond?” I asked.
“I will. Just give me some time.”
I rolled my eyes. What does that even mean? We finished our food, ate way too much ice cream, hooked up then we worked for a little while.
When we got in bed, I told him about Kendra being pregnant.
Brady said, “I heard.”
And it was annoying that he knew and didn’t think to discuss it with me. Can you believe Kendra is pregnant? Like with an actual baby. Does she think she’s ready for that? I can’t imagine.
I’m gonna go. I didn’t go to work today and I planned on sleeping all day so I better go do that. I feel like I need it. I don’t know what to do. I want me and Brady to go back to way things were, but I don’t know how. We’ve apologized, but he’s still being weird and distant and taking taken girls on dates. Ugh. Life.
Here’s to a better week.
hot mess in high heels. 
Brady is so cold, damn. He’s not really making much of an effort. Doughnuts are awesome but they don’t make up for all of the weird, shady shit that he’s pulling right now.
I feel like you write so much about being unhappy and it sucks. You shouldn’t be unhappy in a relationship that you’re not tied to. I know you love Brady and he loves you, but he doesn’t seem to put any effort into being with you.
I know 😥
The relationship seems really passive aggressive and childish honestly. My boyfriend of three years and I never go more than a few hours without talking out our issues. It seems like you two haven’t spoken in weeks
Not cool. He is a great catch and so are you. The both of you can probably make other people very happy. Just doesn’t seem like thats gonna happen with each other.
You deserve better Reese!
thanks!
I think your relationship has reached its expiration. I have no doubt that you and Brady love each other so much, but I think you need to stop trying to force this. Neither of you are happy and while you both say you want to fix it, no one tries to. He isn’t trying and you can’t force him to. I’m afraid you’ll stay until this whole thing turns toxic and it’ll end in flames.
You can love someone but know they aren’t the one for you, and I think that’s true here.
sadly I completely agree with you!
First I think your out of line to be mad at Brady for going out for dinner with other girls cause you go out for dinner with other guys in the past that pay for it. Its a two way street if you think its ok for you to do it then you can’t get mad at Brady for doing the same thing.
Second you two need to talk!!!!! I get you tried with the letter but you can’t just keep hooking up without fixing things. Yes he made a nice gesture but nothing is figured out. Stop waiting for him to talk and make him talk this has gone on too long,
Third umm I don’t get why you think you and Kendra needed a private moment when she told you she was pregnant – sorry you didn’t make the baby with her. Its hers and John’s news so yes he had every right to be there. I get you don’t like him but they are married and you need to accept he is now there for all the big news even if you don’t like it. Its selfish to think otherwise and if you make her feel like she has to choose its going to be him not you. I have had friends that make me feel like I can’t spend time with them and a boyfriend before and we are no longer friends. You can have your opinion and voice it but after that you either need to accept the dude or your going to be out.
Good for you to take that step back at work and only write half the registration – even though I totally get why you would want to leave that guys is a jerk!!!
what guy has taken me out to dinner?
Maybe it wasn’t dinner but there was the guy that bought you the expensive purse you guys went out a few times. Plus you have in the past given your number to guys you think just want to be your friend and Brady has called you out on it before. But you don’t see a problem with that.
yeah, but I haven’t done that in a long time. and two wrongs don’t make a right
No it definitely doesn’t but the way he is acting is like a child lately so maybe he is doing it to give you a taste of your own medicine and honestly if you two trusted each other what is the big deal if you both go out for dinner with friends of the opposite sex and pay for it? Just because some chick wants in his pants doesn’t mean he wants that – just like how you like how it feels when someone flirts with you (honestly we all love that) I am sure its a nice boost to his ego too sometimes. Out of all your guys issues I wouldn’t dwell on the dinner thing.
I’m not dwelling on it. I’m just telling y’all what happened. I’d much rather fix the other problems with our relationship rather. not worried about her
Remember the girl from the gift shop?, whom he used to just “talk” with or whatever… then he had this girl over who he was hanging out with, probably having a conversation with, I know all of his friends came over after… then he went to dinner with another girl, which is fine. Its just dinner. but he literally cannot say anything to you other than, Hi, bye, I miss you, etc… but he has all of these girls he can have conversations with.. even your friend the one he FBs with.. forgot her name.. he comes off as a shy guy, kind of keeps to himself.. but he is clearly not. He says two words to you. Like you guys are strangers… but yet he can have conversations with other people. I hate that! Why doesn’t he try with you? It makes me sad for you =( I totally feel your pain.. because I do see you are trying…
maybe you should call the therapist again? or try a different one?
Exactly ^
I know. it really makes me angry that he’s always talking to girls and tells me nothing.
I completely agree with this. He ignores you for days but can go talk to that Tia girl. And on top it he can’t event explain who that girl is or introduced you as his gf.
I think is time for you to move out and dump him. He can go be a crappy bf to someone else, you deserve so much better than this
aw
Oh, this hurt to read. You’ve created your fair share of drama, but the pain in this post was all from Brady. Like what the hell? I can usually understand where he’s coming from with his behavior, but the way he is acting right now is incredibly disrespectful to you and to the life that you have built together. Who brings some random girl over, while ignoring his girlfriend’s texts, then doesn’t even explain who she is or why she’s there?! I don’t know how you didn’t pack up and leave right then. I’m so proud of you for writing that letter, I know that was way out of your comfort zone. The least you deserve is some sort of acknowledgement that he received it, even if he wasn’t ready to respond yet. You shouldn’t have had to ask if he got it. I’m afraid that you guys are beyond repair at this point. I think you need to schedule some time with him for this week to figure this stuff out. Put it on each of your calendars so he knows you’re serious about your issues, but also about wanting your relationship to work. And if he doesn’t show, then you have a pretty clear answer. You can’t keep living like this. Something has to change. I know communication is hard for you, but it’s time for a come to Jesus talk with him. Good luck! Keep us posted!
thank you! I will try to figure it out if he is willing.
Im not defending Brady because hes acting like an ass. But it also seems like there is more to the story that you don’t know. Its his issue for not talking to you about it but there is an important piece of the puzzle missing.
To me there is another issue besides you and him. He seems to confide in Lindsay yet she seemed to be fine with you (at least thats how I understood it).
I don’t think Brady wants this to be over but there seems to be something he can’t talk to you about. I wonder if he knows something about your family or something? Idk…probably just my mind wandering but something isn’t adding up.
hmmm… I don’t know. it honestly does seem like he’s hiding something but if he’s innocent then this isn’t the way to go about it.
Oh I couldnt agree more. If he cant trust you with everything in his life then what is there? 😦
Ughh I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant and hormonal but this whole post had a knot in my stomach :(. I have voiced my opinion on Brady before and I get that there’s things that you don’t write about but come on lady!! Wake up! He doesn’t treat you well at all.
My husband treats me like the queen of freaking Sheba. He always puts me first (and I do the same for him which is why our relationship works). I don’t know I guess I just think that everyone deserves to have a significant other in their life that treats them the way my hubby treats me.
Dump his sorry ass. It’s gone on long enough and like another poster said…he has absolutely no issues talking to other women about things so clearly the issue is his commitment with you. It makes me so mad! You deserve better.
😦
Im a teenage girl and I always used to look up to how strong you were in your relationships and career! But I can’t believe you would let a man treat you like this and just take it. It’s so not a healthy relationship and to be in a stagnant relationship that isn’t progressing when everyone else’s around you is should be telling you something! Really sad reading this post !
I know. I’m sorry.
Okay usually I read your posts and almost always find something that maybe you could have done better to improve the situation. But this post was literally WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK and got me so pissed off for you. Also, I read Roberta’s comment and I agree with none of it.
A relationship is made up of two people, we always get your side, give you advice and comments of what to do, and for the most part you really listen to us and give so much of yourself into this relationship. But reading this post made me think FUCK BRADY. (sorry, I know you love him but he’s been a real jerk to you!)
You’re not out of line to be mad at Brady for dinner with another woman or even bringing a girl home. He didn’t tell you in advance and you have no information whatsoever about these women. Sure he’s not cheating on you or doing anything improper but shouldn’t you at least have a heads up that he’s going to be bringing another woman into your house and go out without you? Maybe other people don’t care about this stuff but it really irks me. My boyfriend usually invites me every time he goes out with other people so I always know ahead of time or lets me know if they’ll be coming over to the house, but when Brady invited you it seemed to be an afterthought like ‘Oh yeah, I have a gf and now that she’s seen me I have to invite her’. He also seems so condescending by asking if you wanted to use his credit card when going out…like, what? Money will make everything better and that’s all you care about? What a jerk.
Also, it’s totally understandable that you would have wanted Kendra to tell you about her pregnancy news privately but I also kinda get why she didn’t since it’s more like a couple news instead of a personal update. Your week(s) have sucked and I can’t believe everything dragged out for so long. You’re headstrong but you work on it. Brady just seems to ignore everything with no effort. I’m annoyed you so easily forgive him and think that little things like donuts, sex, or a 5 minute normal conversation makes everything okay. (at least that’s what it seems like) There needs to be a long conversation about everything! Like what was up with the ignoring, why isn’t he texting as often, how did he meet Tia and Elizabeth, (why does Tia seem to know the house so well) what was the occasion for only getting dinner with that Elizabeth girl, who does he talk so happily to on the phone??
It sucks to keep everything in and pretend like there’s nothing wrong. Sometimes it’s smart to keep your emotions in but other times, if you don’t let people know what’s wrong they’ll have no idea. It sucked that Kendra and John think you’re the one being mean to Brady. You have no support and I would not be able to deal with this.
(Am I the only one thinking this way? sorry for the rant)
I don’t comment on your posts because I typically agree with what’s already been said and there’s no need to hear it from 800 different people.
I do however feel the need to comment this time. You have to force his hand and make him talk. I’m not going to say you guys can’t work this out. You love each other. Clearly. And we all too often quit when things get a little difficult now. But what you guys are doing now just isn’t working. Set aside some time and hash it out. Everything you said in your letter. Give him a chance to speak without interrrupting. Listen. Truly listen to what he says and make sure he truly listens to what you are saying as well. You are going through a rough patch. You can’t tell me that the marriages out there that have lasted 25 years have never gone through rough patches. But have some respect for yourself, and for him, and don’t keep acting like nothing is wrong in some ways(hooking up, I miss you texts) when there is something really wrong bothering both of you.
One of the things that seems apparent to me, Reese, is that you’ve done so much to improve yourself, yet Brady hasn’t seemed to make an effort to do the same. He knows exactly the types of things that make you upset, but he keeps doing them. Why should he be surprised when you’re hurt or pissed off at him for doing the same old things that he knows hurts you? But on the other hand, if it truly upsets you when he does things like goes out to dinner with another woman, then you really need to speak up and just tell him that you’re not cool with it and make some boundaries. It’s one thing if it’s a woman that you’re both friends with or someone that you know and feel comfortable with. It’s another for him to go out to dinner with someone you don’t know and for him to not even talk to you about it. If something truly bothers you, though, instead of just not saying anything and letting him continue to hurt you, tell him that it’s NOT okay.
Usually I think you act crazy and immature but man….if even half of the stuff you wrote is true you seriously need to move on. His lack of communication is beyond childish and passive aggressive. You seem like a strong-willed and very intelligent woman. You deserve better.
oh babe, this was so terrible to read. why is brady so fucking oblivious? i cant believe you kept your cool on the kylie lips chick. & also, kendra & john defending him like that. the fuck?! i hope things get figured out for you soon, whatever must come. 😘
This post made me remember how much of a complete mind-fuck relationships can be. Something isn’t right here, you guys are slowly becoming glorified roomates and I feel like you’re torturing yourselves…. Something’s gotta give Reese, and you need to figure out what’s best for you. I think it’s pretty clear you guys need to talk, there is such a huge lack of communication between you two it’s like watching a sitcom where you just want to grab the characters and lock them in a room until they stop messing around and come to a resolution. Be strong. Don’t take shit from anyone, especially people you love.
I’m usually pro brady, but I think he is checked out of this relationship. Definitely mentally, maybe physically as well. Find a new place to live then dump his ass. Although it’s not like he’s talking to you so it may be awkward to dump him while Tia or gift shop girl or your friend Brittany or lindsey watch on. I used to have an ex take girls on “non dates” like brady did….that ex cheated on me at least twice
The fact that this has gone on so long blows my mind. Both of you are way too stubborn for your own good, and it is time to settle this fight and work it out or move on. Personally, I think the two of you need to sit down and really let it all out. Something is going on with Brady that he isn’t telling you and it isn’t fair that he doesn’t talk to you. Like others have said, he talks to everyone else except you and that’s hurtful and he needs to know that. Best of luck! You two can move on from this.
Reese- you deserve better than this. I used to be team Brady but this is getting ridiculous. I would be livid if my live-in boyfriend brought another girl home like that and went out on “non-dates”. That is not ok. I understand being passive aggressive and ignoring someone – I get that way too sometimes when my husband and I fight, but he has learned to just give me space. But it is not ok for him to act that way with other girls – it is so disrespectful to you. I know you have mentioned wanting to get married, but once you get married and have kids, the problems only become more difficult and if you don’t have a solid foundation, it can get rough. The fact that y’all are having these problems now is so concerning. There definitely needs to be better communication but what troubles me is that Brady doesn’t seem to respect you and your feelings. You deserve better than that. Sending you big hugs! Sorry you are dealing with this. And keep your head up at work! You have what it takes to shine there!
Brady is not he-who-must-not-be-named! I don’t think he would cheat on you. He has friends that are girls and yes it’s weird cause he doesn’t share much about them with you, but you need to have more faith in him because your lack of trust may push him away.
He obviously talks to Kendra & John about you, maybe looking for advice. I think it would be a good idea to go to Kendra and actually listen to what she has to say to you, don’t get defensive don’t give her an answer for everything she tells you. If she tells you to do something you think you are already doing, I would say “I thought I was already doing that, so how can I do it better?”
I feel like you both were walking on egg shells around each other and what you really need to do is talk. People think relationships are 50/50 but they are not, sometimes one of you will have to give 80% or even 100% because the other person doesn’t have it in them to give more, right now it needs to be you. You need to be the adult and make him talk. If you want this relationship to work you are going to have to put yourself out there. If he loves you as much as he says he will realize he needs to make some changes too.
PS: he mentioned he was doing some research or something?, could that be the reason why he’s been working extra hours? Maybe you should ask him what’s going on at work instead of thinking he’s just avoiding you.
I don’t think it’s fair to put so much of the onus on Reese. It’s not reasonable for Brady to hang out alone with women she doesn’t know, especially in shady situations (out for dinner, drinking alone together at the house). I don’t think he’s cheating on her either, but he is blatantly disrespecting her. She is not pushing him away by not accepting that treatment.
I think there’s two ways to look at every situation, you can decide he’s an asshole and wants to just hurt Reese. Or he’s dumb and doesn’t realize what he’s doing. Did he know Reese wasn’t going to be home when he brought Kylie-lips to the house? Or maybe she just showed up earlier than he had told people to come? That’s why it appeared they were drinking alone. He went out to dinner with a friend and told Reese about it, didn’t keep it from here ever though it would’ve been really easy to. I’m not trying to say Brady is innocent because he does things that are weird, but is he an asshole or just dumb? There’s two sides to every story and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t think Brady is mean spirited at all and doesn’t have bad intentions at all as frustrated as I get with him. he doesn’t intentionally try to hurt people,
Exactly! I don’t think he’s a bad person either that’s why I think we need to look at things from a different perspective. Hope you didn’t think I was calling him an asshole because I wasn’t.
I know you weren’t girl, but a lot of people were. 🙂 I agree with you
Reese, I have commented frequently and for a long time have really pulled for you and Brady to work out. I will NEVER advise you to make up or break up, but it kills me to hear you being so unhappy. Really, I think you need to tell Brady “communicate or we are not going to work out”. I mean, WTF? You walk in on him going to parties and he has not thought to extend an invitation? My husband would rip me a new one (and rightly so) if I pulled that shit. I mean, he says he loves you and misses you, but his actions speak otherwise. He is treating you like an afterthought. I mean that is something to call him on for sure–that he never actually ASKS you to go out with him. You walk in on this stuff and he says “oh, by the way…” as he is walking out the door. Rude. Time to ask him: “Be honest, dude. Do you really, REALLY want to be with me?” If he says yes, then tell him “PROVE IT. SHOW IT”. You could take parts of what you wrote here about him ignoring you, going out with another woman, going to parties without you, present these things as dispassionately as possible, send THIS stuff in an email and say “this is how things are from my perspective. How would YOU feel if I acted this way towards you?” Really, Sweet Pea, I hear you growing more and more unhappy. Something has GOT to change. Hang in there and do let yourself be undervalued.
I meant that to say “DON’T let yourself be undervalued.”. Two glasses of wine and I am gone.
I’m so sorry Reese 😩 I hope he gives you a good reply to your email (although he did have all weekend to respond, and hasn’t)
I don’t know how you guys have managed going on so long without talking “while on a fight”. you’re being so good and trying so hard and giving him space but then it feels like he thought you’re the one needs it?
we only get some glimpses into your life, but he really truly STILL sucks at communicating, and I don’t know how you’re supposed to be together in the long run and deal with other big issues that might come up while you can’t even talk about your relationship at the moment.
it feels like at this point someone would’ve had to give in and apologize but you’re still not talking, wtf?
you should ask Kendra what she knows though since Brady has obviously been talking to her and John and they are under the impression “you’re giving him a hard time”. not sure if that’s from Brady playing the victim only or because they’re just giving you a hard time for crazy stuff you’ve done before outside of your relationship.
it seemed that things felt better when you got back from LA, but then went straight back to shit, are you thinking of moving out? Brady is the crazy one and I don’t think he’s good for you at all right now.
tldr, it’s 7 am and I hope I’m sort of coherent – ❤️you and hope things get better this week!
This hurt my heart so much. I wanted you guys to work because I can tell how much you love him. But you deserve so much better, Reese. No girl deserves to be treated like this and feel this uncomfortable in what should be your “home” also. I got so upset when you texted him asking where he was and he said “out”. Just think if a really close friend of yours was going through what you’re going through with Brady, what would you advice her to do and be honest with yourself. I know it’s hard to look at things from the outside because we tend to be so engrossed in our issues but looking at how we are treated compared to how we should be treated should really put things into perspective for you. I seriously rarely comment but I was just so sad throughout this whole post. I hope you take into consideration everything you read but most importantly what you feel is best for you. We can only look at the outside and read what you tell us but only you know what will make you happy. If Brady isn’t willing to talk to you and express himself will you continue to live this way?
Hope everything gets better. Love you!
This hurt my heart so much. I wanted you guys to work because I can tell how much you love him. But you deserve so much better, Reese. No girl deserves to be treated like this and feel this uncomfortable in what should be your “home” also. I got so upset when you texted him asking where he was and he said “out”. Just think if a really close friend of yours was going through what you’re going through with Brady, what would you advice her to do and be honest with yourself. I know it’s hard to look at things from the outside because we tend to be so engrossed in our issues but looking at how we are treated compared to how we should be treated should really put things into perspective for you. I seriously rarely comment but I was just so sad throughout this whole post. I hope you take into consideration everything you read but most importantly what you feel is best for you. We can only look at the outside and read what you tell us but only you know what will make you happy. If Brady isn’t willing to talk to you and express himself will you continue to live this way?
Hope everything gets better. Love you.
Wow, I feel really terrible for you. What’s really sticking out to me is the hanging out alone with random women you don’t know. I mean, I’m sure if he was spending time with Lindsey alone, you wouldn’t be nearly so upset. However, taking out a random girl for dinner or having one over for drinks alone is very shady. There’s no way that’s acceptable conduct in a relationship.
I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I have been at a point in my relationship where I felt I was at the brink and literally could not take the shit that was happening anymore. I sat down with my boyfriend and simply told him that our relationship was making me feel like shit about myself, and that I needed a bunch of things to change. I told him why each thing was bothering me, and where I felt the line was in each situation. I also had to be willing to hear what was hurting him too, and make commitments to change those things. It was a painful conversation but it did help and now we are doing really well together.
I also don’t know if you ended up taking the love languages quiz but I found it very enlightening, as did my partner. It helped us stay positive and say, “I love it when you… I feel loved when you…” Just something to keep in mind.
Again, I would never tell you to end/stay in your relationship. You do need to know when you’ve reached your limit though, or it will have lingering effects on your self esteem.
Good luck!
Wow, I feel really terrible for you. What’s really sticking out to me is the hanging out alone with random women you don’t know. I mean, I’m sure if he was spending time with Lindsey alone, you wouldn’t be nearly so upset. However, taking out a random girl for dinner or having one over for drinks alone is very shady. There’s no way that’s acceptable conduct in a relationship.
I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I have been at a point in my relationship where I felt I was at the brink and literally could not take the shit that was happening anymore. I sat down with my boyfriend and simply told him that our relationship was making me feel like shit about myself, and that I needed a bunch of things to change. I told him why each thing was bothering me, and where I felt the line was in each situation. I also had to be willing to hear what was hurting him too, and make commitments to change those things. It was a painful conversation but it did help and now we are doing really well together.
I also don’t know if you ended up taking the love languages quiz but I found it very enlightening, as did my partner. It helped us stay positive and say, “I love it when you… I feel loved when you…” Just something to keep in mind.
Again, I would never tell you to end/stay in your relationship. You do need to know when you’ve reached your limit though. Taking too much shit for too long can have lingering effects on your self esteem.
Good luck!
Damn 😳 There is and has been such a lack of respect on both sides of your relationship. It is unhealthy and seems irreparable. Do you think Brady knows you were been talking to your ex and that’s why he thinks it’s “okay” to go on “non-date” dates with other women? He is skeevy, man. For the love of God, do not have sex with him again. It feels like he’s just using you and it makes my skin crawl. 😷😷😷 You (both, even tho I hate Brady TBH I’m sorry) deserve way better than what you’re currently getting from each other. Sometimes it’s better to just cut your losses, no matter how hard it may be.
I’m proud of you for holding it down and not showing your crazy like you might’ve in the past. That shows huge restraint and growth as far as I’m concerned. You’re thinking before you act and that is huge. But – there is a huge difference in learning/growing and losing yourself. You’re not his doormat either. Remember that.
Love ya girl. Just want the best for you. 💖💖
This was hard to read. Did you ask him who these girls were? He says it wasn’t a date but why is he at dinner with someone he has never mentioned before.
I think you should talk to someone about this, maybe Kendra, since it seems she knows something about how Brady is feeling. She knows you both and might be able to give some insight. Either way it’s not right that he is talking to others and can’t seem to communicate with you.
it is hard to read the comments
I’m sure. I really hope you guys can talk and figure it out, what he’s doing to you isn’t fair.
we did talk, last night. I can’t wait to update y’all
You are so strong Reese! For putting yourself out there. You should be so proud of yourself. For how much you’ve grown. Keep working on yourself. I wish you the best, no matter what happens with Brady. One thing I have learned this year is that if two people want to be together they will find a way to be together, somehow. By boyfriend and I broke up because I was moving to start law school and I was so mean to him all year. Somehow I came to my sense and when I fought for him. He was really mad at me but somehow forgave me because he wanted the same. My point is, no matter what is happening now, if Brady really wants to be with you, he will come to his senses and you guys will find your way back. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t want what you want and sometimes that is okay too. I mean this from the bottom of my heart when I say I want you to be happy. Always check in with yourself whether you are happy and if you aren’t take action to fix that, but you should never just silently suffer in sadness. Best of luck. I have a always been a fan of Brady and I can’t wait to see what happens between you two.
thank you Y! I wish you were my friend in real life
he is disrespecting you all over again. he won’t stop. he doesn’t value the relationship, no matter what he says. he is showing you that he doesn’t. and i know you don’t want to believe he is cheating on you, but i’ve been there. my ex-husband acted this way for way too long before i listened to my gut. he is totally cheating…whether emotionally or physically. respect yourself and get out. he doesn’t deserve you. you have shown great restraint and maturity lately in how you have been handling it and he continues to walk all over you. i don’t get these gals who say, “poor brady. he is so nice.” he is being an ass. get your own place, have fun, thrive in your career. the right person will eventually come along.
I don’t agree that he is cheating. maybe emotionally because he doesn’t know how to talk to me. I think if Brady and I want it to work it will.
In this post, based on what you shared, you are BOTH ignoring each other and not communicating. That needs to change, yes. But what I’m really having a tough time with the bringing girls to your house and drinking with them, making plans as a group and not including you or letting you know it’s happening. Totally rude, completely disrespectful. The going to dinner with someone while you’re out of town is a non-issue. He told you. She has a boyfriend. He’s a gentleman and paid. End of story.
If you want this to work – because this post makes it seem like you are THIS CLOSE to unfixable, toxic relationship area – you need to talk. Not the one word answers and when the other doesn’t respond the way you want, you stalk off and barricade yourself in another room for the night or sleep downstairs. Push it. Show each other you want it to work and make changes to the way you treat each other. It won’t happen over night, but it can work if you are committed to it and each other. Can’t wait to hear what you talked about last night. I have my fingers crossed for you.
thank you!