are we swingers?

Scott is driving me nuts. He’s just the worst. He’s avoiding me at the office – literally running out of any room I enter. Mike had me working on some new stuff so Scott was basically having Monica do my job. I saw her running around one day freaking out about how much work she had to do. 

And I asked, “Well, what are you doing? Do you need help?”

And she showed me a printed out email that Scott had sent her, asking her to do things like pull together sales data for September, figure bonus eligibility, create a spreadsheet to keep track. My job that I do every month without having to be told, obviously.

But I wasn’t about to drag Monica into the beef me and Scott obviously had so I just let her do it. One day Scott had a meeting with some kitchen and bath people here in Chicago and afterwards he was texting Monica about how it went and what was discussed. He didn’t mention anything to me though which is weird because I’m pretty sure Mike wanted both of us to take over the new kitchen and bath division.

A while later though, Scott texted me, “Any plans this evening?” 

Like are you kidding me? I replied, “Nope.”

The only time I’ve talked to him recently is when he texts me asking me about my plans outside of work. Or to ask if I’ve been to a particular bar and did I like it? Such a dick.

So I really wanted to have fun over the weekend and things got a little cray. On Friday night Brady went to the Cubs game and I was really bored so I went to Kendra’s. She’s finally starting to show a little bit. I brought over Shake Shack and some cream I ordered on Amazon that is supposed to prevent stretch marks. I’m such a great friend.

I was telling her about ring shopping and showing her the pictures I took and John walked in.

“Is Brady finally ready to seal the deal?” he asked.

“I think so,” I replied.

John just shook his head and I turned to Kendra like, “What is that supposed to mean?”

She started talking about the rings again. John is so annoying. Even though he’s known me longer, I just feel like he doesn’t think I’m good enough for Brady. Which is funny because I don’t think he’s good enough for Kendra. 

Brady’s ex, Anna, was in Chicago visiting their friend Lindsey so the four of us plus Lindsey’s boyfriend met up for a late brunch on Saturday afternoon. Brady and I haven’t seen much of Lindsey these past few months since she got in a relationship. 

Do y’all remember the time she got mad at me because I was supposedly flirting with the guy she had a crush on? Anna wouldn’t stop talking to Lindsey’s boyfriend. She wanted to know his whole life story and then would ask him what his opinion was about everything we talked about. Like, he will state his opinion if he wants to share it!  She was annoying me and I kept looking at Brady and Lindsey to see if they were offended and annoyed too, but they didn’t seem to notice or care.

After brunch, everyone came over to continue drinking. Brady and Lindsey were running the Chicago Marathon on Sunday so we decided to just have a couple drinks and not get too crazy. I thought Anna was kind of innocent and lame, but I knew when she asked what we had besides champagne to drink that she was my kind of girl. I brought her to the kitchen to show her the options and she suggested tequila shots. I suddenly loved her.

We stood at the counter talking for a little bit. She told me about her job. She does medical research at some lab and mentioned having to wear a lab coat and goggles and shoe covers. I was picturing that 90’s cartoon, Dexter’s Laboratory.
“But they let me wear jeans so it’s fine,” she shrugged.

She gestured to her outfit which consisted of tight designer jeans that were so low cut that a sliver of her pale white tummy was showing. And she actually has a cute little shape. Whenever I’ve seen her previously she’s wearing oversized sweaters or shift dresses so I had no idea that she had a waist and a butt. 

So Anna annoyed me a lot less after we hung out taking shots in the kitchen. She’s like Brady in that she uses words no one else ever uses, but she’s funny in a smart person kind of way. And she laughed at all my jokes so I figured I would let her stick around. We made drinks and headed back to the living room.

When we got back to the group, Lindsey and her boyfriend were heading out. I figured Anna would leave with her friends, but she stayed.

“Do you have any-” Anna asked Brady and I assume she must have made some sort of hand gesture, but I missed it by the time I looked at her.

I figured she was asking about weed and my suspicion was confirmed when Brady pulled out his little empty book that he keeps all his smoking supplies in.
So we smoked for literally two hours straight. And then we were just sitting there slumped on the couch not talking. Eventually, I fell over onto their laps and announced that I was starving.

“Yeah, Brady, do you have anything to eat?” Anna asked.

I looked up at them and he shrugged. He got up so then I was just laying on Anna’s lap. I recently colored my hair and she started touching it.

“I literally have the worst hair ever. Your hair is nice,” she said.

“Your hair isn’t bad,” I said truthfully. It’s obviously that she uses box dye and never gets salon blowouts or treatments, but she doesn’t need to because it has a nice natural wave.

Anna ran her hands through my hair until Brady got back with a Tupperware of fruit and the bottle of tequila we left out – clearly aware of where this party was going and trying to speed it up. 

“This is the only snack we have right now. Or I could make some chicken if you want,” he said.

Anna took the Tupperware from him and started eating pieces of pineapple and blueberries.

“Reese, do you want a strawberry?” she asked and I nodded. She pulled a whole strawberry out and put it in my mouth for me to bite. And then she looked at Brady, shrugged and giggled and then finished the strawberry herself. 

I wish y’all knew this girl and how out of character it seemed for her to be sexy like that. Like she’s a scientist. I could never even picture her and Brady having sex. I figured they never did.

I watched as she fed my boyfriend a pineapple and surprisingly I felt okay about it. Like, okay. We can have some fun here.

Anna continued feeding us and it got increasingly more erotic. I sat up and it just felt like Anna and I were putting on a show for Brady. We were sucking each other’s fingers and purposely being messy and ridiculous, but laughing the entire time.

“Okay, time for another shot,” I said eventually.

I jumped up to get shot glasses and when I got back, Brady and Anna had made a spot for me to sit in between them. 

After we took the shot, I threw my arms around Brady’s neck and we started making out. We pulled away and I looked at Anna to see her reaction. She was just watching us innocently. And then she smiled at me and I did the only thing that made sense. I leaned in to kiss her.

I can’t remember the exact details of how it happened, but Anna’s shirt was the first to come off. She wasn’t wearing a bra, but didn’t need to because she has the smallest tits I’ve ever seen. I would absolutely get my boobs done if I were her. 

“Take off your shirt, Brady,” she instructed and he did exactly as told. And then they leaned over me and started kissing.

Their make out sesh didn’t last very long at all and when they pulled away, Anna straddled me and started kissing me again. I really underestimated her. She’s obviously into freaky shit, but hid it well. She started giggling while kissing me so I pulled away and she took that as a cue to take off my shirt. I was wearing a bra though and she didn’t try to take that off.
Anna looked back at Brady and he glanced at her and then leaned down to me.

“I love you,” he said before kissing me and kissing my neck. It was weird. It was like he wanted me to know that he still loved me even though he was making out with his ex girlfriend. Like, “Yeah, this is fun and I’m not gonna say no, but I love you and you’re still the girl I’m going to marry.”

Brady moved from my neck to Anna’s neck and made his way down to her (nonexistent) tits and tummy. While he was kissing her, he had both hands on my chest, groping me. I guess he needed to use his imagination since she had nothing to work with. Honest, not mean.

Anna climbed off me and pushed Brady back on the couch. She leaned down in front of him and started undoing his pants. And Brady was sitting there with his mouth open like it was the best thing that has happened to him. That’s where I had to draw the line. This broad was not going to suck MY boyfriend’s dick with me right there. She wasn’t even allowed look at it.

I got up and walked to the bedroom, grabbing Brady’s hand on the way. They followed me to the bedroom and while Brady and I got in the bed, Anna took her pants off. She got on top of Brady while he and I made out. This lasted maybe another half an hour (all of us making out and occasionally touching each other) until we passed out. I rolled over and fell asleep first.

We had to wake up super, super early so Brady and Lindsey could meet for the marathon and Anna was already gone. I couldn’t help wondering what happened after I fell asleep.

“Oh my God,” I groaned as the memories of the previous night started coming back to me. “What did we do?”

Brady had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed. He looked like shit.

“That was completely not my idea,” he replied. 

“What happened after I fell asleep? Did you do stuff with her?” I asked suspiciously.

“No. I can’t remember falling asleep. She jumped up in the middle of the night and left.”

Brady left to meet up with Lindsey and I got up to meet with Kendra to get breakfast before we went to cheer for Brady and John. I ate twice as much as Kendra which is kind of embarrassing because she is pregnant. But whatever.

Apparently Brady spent the first hour of the race stopping every few minutes to vomit because he was so hungover. Brady is hardly ever hungover so I felt bad for him. It’s just not a good idea to get high and drunk and have a threesome the night before running 26 miles.

Later on in the day, we met up for food and drinks with Kendra, John, Lindsey, her boyfriend and Anna. I had to keep my scarf on during the entire meal because I had hickeys all over my neck. Remnants from our night of debauchery.

I have no regrets though. It was fun and I have no hard feelings toward Anna. However, I do think I’ll be a bit more interested to read the texts and emails that Brady and Anna exchange now. Just because I’m curious. I wonder how she feels about all of it. Brady and I haven’t mentioned it since Sunday morning. 


26 thoughts on “are we swingers?

  1. Ana says:

    Wth!!!!! My mouth dropped open when I read this lol I can’t believe that happened but I am glad you have no regrets about it, you know, that you don’t feel bad about it!

  2. kelseyxsays says:

    Yikes. I had cringeface reading the entire sexual encounter with Anna. I would NEVER be okay with that going down between a serious boyfriend & their ex. But you do you. LOL.

    Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.

  3. cam says:

    ummm.. is it weird if i’m totally into this?! i was loving the whole thing. was completely surprised but was completely loving it!

  4. Si says:

    Yess! I love it.

    I’ve often wonder if I could do that with my person, but I worry about how everything would be the morning after.

  5. Alexia says:

    Girl! I just read your entire blog from the beginning and loved it. And you lol you are hilarious and awesome

    I’m not sure if you read but I’ve recently read a book and the main character reminds me of you. It’s called dear daughter. So good. Love you and hope you post again soon!

  6. sarahthorne10 says:

    The ‘no regrets’ part really surprises me – only based on how other girls that Brady is friends with, works with, etc. has made you feel. I have had a few (innocent?) fantasies about bringing another girl into the mix with my man and I but I know I’m too insecure to ever go through with it. At the most, I could be the 3rd with another couple hahaha

    • it surprised me too – I’ve even felt insecure about Anna. but I think if you ever did decide to do it, do it with a random girl not an EX or a girl either of you has any relationship with.

  7. London says:

    i feel like you’re slowly leaving the blog behind. what ever the reason… dont stop writing. it seems to be cathartic for you.

    if you are ending this, or trying to figure out how to… just want to say thank you for letting us into your world. allowing us to openly praise or admire. scruitinize or question. and good luck to you in life, and in love

  8. Jen says:

    Random question.. the Cubs player you dated back in 2014.. Is he now a World Series champion as of like half an hour ago?? I instantly thought of you and this blog when the Cubs won lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s