am i addicted to drama?

Brady and I had plans to go to an awards ceremony for one of his work colleagues and then we would go out with his work friends after that. I thought it would be a nice time to meet the Poison Ivy looking chick from Brady’s Instagram.

I left work a little bit early on Friday to get ready because the awards dinner was supposed to be kind of nice or something and I wanted to look good for it (and for Poison Ivy). So I needed to get ready. I showered and changed into a tight black jumpsuit with a vest that I could ditch later when the real festivities began. I didn’t have time to deal with my hair so I swept it up into a high bun.

I texted Brady, “I’m ready,” and he said, “Meet me here? I just got out of the shower.”

Imagining Brady fresh out of the shower made my little heart palpitate and I immediately ordered an Uber. I’m sorry, but Brady is actually really hot. So I rushed over there.

“Hey. You look cute,” Brady greeted me at the door.

“Hi. Where’s my son?” I asked, breezing in past him. Brady looked good and smelled delicious, but I couldn’t let him know I was thinking that.

Tucker came bounding into the foyer so fast that he couldn’t stop and slid across the tile.

“Aww, my little angel face!” I exclaimed. I picked him up and kissed all over his face to make Brady jealous.

“Just give me 3 minutes and I’ll be ready to go, okay?” Brady said.

I nodded and watched him walk away. His ass looked hot in dark chinos, a button up and the preppiest loafers (who picked those out for him?). I hate that I am so attracted to him.

I put Tucker down and cleaned all the dog hair off me while I waited. Brady came back and told me that he called an Uber. On the ride over, he told me about Hunter and Dom and how much Dom has changed since giving birth.

“I’m sure she’s changed for the better. She was so awful before,” I said.

“Yeah well, Hunter thinks she’s pretty awful now,” Brady said.

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to tell him that Hunter probably just wasn’t ready for commitment (especially to a person like Dom) and wanted to continue meeting and hooking up with girls. Remember the girl he met in the grocery store here in Chicago and ended up spending the night with? That’s what Hunter wants. Not to be at home with a miserable woman and babies. And I don’t blame him.

When we got to the venue, I immediately discovered it was open bar. Thank God. I made Brady stand in the bar line with me to get drinks before we even went to find his friends because priorities. We needed to take full advantage of this situation. I got a modest glass of rosé and Brady got a beer. So then I was ready to see his friends.

Brady’s gotten pretty close with this guy named Alex, who recently moved to Chicago from New York. Brady talks about him a lot, but it was my first time meeting him. He reminded me of Chris – tall, dark hair, beard – but he’s a doctor.

“Reese! Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot,” Alex said. He glanced at Brady with a smile and of course, I glanced at Brady too, but I glared at him. Don’t talk shit about me to your new friends.

“Likewise,” I said, shaking his hand.

We hung out with Alex for the first hour and talked to some of their other coworkers. I was bored, but enjoying the mac and cheese balls, shrimp cocktails and blue cheese stuffed olives.

And then the red headed girl showed up. And I had a cracker in my mouth. She reached out to hug Brady first, I noticed, and then Alex. Her hair was literally dyed bright red and she was about 5’2 wearing a tight black dress and lots of eyeshadow. She was cute though.

“Sorry, I can’t stay out long. I’m overnighting this week,” she said. “But I thought I’d come out for a little bit!”

“Great!” I said.

“You haven’t met Reese, have you?” Brady chimed in.

Homegirl looked at me. “No! Nice to meet you! I’m Amelia.”

“Hi Amelia,” I said, dryly. I had no reason to automatically hate her, but I did.

She gave me a big smile and then turned back to the others. I glanced at Brady at and he was giving me a weird look so I rolled my eyes at him. He obviously didn’t know that I knew who this Amelia girl was and was going to try to make me feel like an idiot. Not today.

We hung out with Alex and Amelia for a little bit, but again I was bored. Alex is funny in a frat boy kind of way. Eventually, Amelia had to go and as soon as she walked away, I said, “So what’s the story with her?”

“What do you mean?” Brady asked, giving me a weird look.

“I mean, she’s cute. Nice.” I shrugged. “I just didn’t think that was your type.”

Brady threw his head back and rolled his eyes – a look I’ve seen on far too many occasions. “Reese, it’s not even like that.”

I shrugged again like “No big deal, do what you want.”

“Hey, I’ll be right back,” Alex said, sensing that things were getting personal.

As soon as he walked away, Brady said, “Please don’t.”

“Please don’t what? I saw your pics on Instagram. You don’t have to pretend.”

“What are you talking about, Reese? I’m not interested in her in that way at all.”

At that point I realized that it was pretty obvious Brady and Amelia had nothing going on (I mean, come on). They had no chemistry and she talked about her ex (who she kept referring to as “they” and kept things gender neutral like it could be a man or a woman). But I couldn’t even stop myself from confronting him, especially after I’d already started. Am I addicted to drama?

And maybe Brady is too because he still invited me back to his place at the end of the night. We spent about 45 minutes at a couple bars then he called an Uber and asked if I wanted to come. I said, “Fine.”

We got undressed which was my goal for the night and then got in bed. Brady started rubbing my legs and I realized I forgot to shave so I pushed his hands away. He made a face like, “Oh, guess that’s not allowed,” and I was cool with that because then at least he would think I was calling the shots.

We had sex for a long time and got in weird postions we haven’t even tried before, but in the end Brady couldn’t come. I always feel like when guys can’t finish it’s because they’re either super sexually active or they masturbate a lot. Either way, I was unimpressed and got up to find something to eat in the kitchen.

I slept over and the next morning Brady reached over and started fondling me really early. I pushed him off because I was not about to endure that torture again.

“Well, I’m gonna go,” I said and before I could even finish my sentence, Brady asked, “Do you want to get breakfast?”

He looked at me expectantly like I hadn’t even said anything. Since he seemed so eager, I said, “Okay, fine.”

Before we left, Brady proceeded to eat me out so at the very least I would be satisfied and I appreciated that. I got up and put on a white romper I’d brought with me and we headed to Summer House. By the way, I really hate that place. So overrated and pretentious and the exact reason I’ve fallen out of love with Lincoln Park. I will stay in Gold Coast where everyone is open about their money and plastic surgery, thanks. I got lip fillers by the way! I love. 

I haven’t really spoken to or seen Brady since our breakfast date that morning. I heard from a reliable source (Preston) that he had sex with Tia and I’m just so fucking sick of Brady’s dick. Like, you’re kidding me, right? Plus I met someone. I’ll tell y’all about that later. Brady texted me two weeks ago telling me that Hunter was in Chicago for the weekend and invited me to hang out with them. I said no thanks in my head and then didn’t respond. 

One day Scott and I stayed at work late working on a project. After we were finished, we were the last ones in the office and Scott invited me out for a drink. This was after our makeout and we hadn’t really talked or hung out since. And I was dying to talk about it and ease the tension so I agreed. We walked to this bar near Merchandise Mart. It was a Thursday night and the bar was surprisingly really packed. We grabbed our drinks and went to a corner. 

We talked about work a lot for a while, about what Mike wanted for 2017 and what Scott was envisioning. Scott is up for a promotion for a position on the same scale as Mike’s and obviously I’m hoping his promotion will bump me up too. I know it’s a little bit far fetched since I haven’t been in my position long, but I’m really fucking good. Ask anyone.

“So,” Scott asked with Australian/English accent. “Any new men in your life?”

I rolled my eyes. “No. Just the same old ones who I need to move on from.”

“I thought you and Brady would have found a way to make it work by now,” Scott said.

I shrugged. This was before the Tia tea. “I just don’t know about me and him. I feel like if it was going to work, it would. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard.”

“I know what you mean. Relationships are so complicated and…weird. I’m feeling like you feel. I shouldn’t have to fight this hard.”

“Really?”

Scott nodded. “When we first got married, my wife made me very happy and we had a lot of fun. Now all of that is gone. The excitement is gone.”

I frowned to show my sympathy.

“This sounds awful, but I’m not excited to come home and see her and I know I should be. I care about her a lot, but I don’t feel like I’m in love with her anymore. I feel like she’s my best friend and that’s it.”

“It shouldn’t feel like that,” I said, as if I know anything about marriage or have any business giving anyone relationship advice. 

“I know. I’ve felt this way before. I was engaged another time, but we were never married. It was my fault because I lost interest. In my fiancée.” Scott looked at me to gauge my reaction.

“So what happened?”

“Well, we called off the wedding. I told her I was getting cold feet, which was true, but I didn’t tell her that I flat out just wasn’t attracted to her anymore.”

“That’s terrible,” I said, feeling bad for the ex-fiancée. Especially because she didn’t know the full story (but didn’t need to). In my head, I was thinking wow, and now Scott feels the same way again. These poor women.

“I know. I feel like there might be something wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m capable of this large of a commitment. I love seeing new people and so I lose interest. I wish it weren’t like this.”

When Scott said this, it reasonated with me. Do y’all remember when I was having that crisis where I wasn’t sure if I could be in a monogamous relationship because I seek attention so much? I feel like the way Scott feels is kind of the way I feel. So then I felt sorry for him because you can’t help that you feel that way and you definitely don’t want to.

Scott and I got really close after that evening at the bar. We went back to working together a lot more and helping each other with various projects. We also went to lunch together most days – sometimes even opting for a liquid lunch. Scott and I are really similar in a lot of ways and I think that’s why we butt heads so much. We talked about each other’s love lives a lot because that’s how we bonded and he talked about his future and being single.

And we kissed again. A few times. A lot of times. Usually after too much wine at lunch, but sometimes not. I don’t know what it is, but we are just really passionate with each other. Our friendship/relationship is very fun and light, but also heavy and deep. This is going to sound really lame, but it almost feels magnetic. Like the universe is pushing us together.

One night, we were both the last ones left in the office besides the custodians. Scott and I had finished work and were sitting in his office talking. We were sitting way too close and if anyone was still in the office, people would be gossiping about it. 

“I guess I’d better get home before she starts texting me about my whereabouts,” Scott said.

I nodded because I understood who “she” was.

Scott leaned close to me like he was going to kiss me. “As crazy as this sounds, I would love it if you texted me about my whereabouts.”

I gave him a sassy look.

“I feel different about you than I have about anyone else. I could never lose interest in you.”

I gave him an equally sassy, but skeptical look.

“You would always keep me on my toes. When I’m not around you, all I can think about is when I’ll see you next and how you might surprise me.”

“What can I say? I’m unique,” I said, playing coy. I wasn’t about to admit to Scott that I imagine what it would be like if we were together often too. I know I shouldn’t and I can barely admit it to myself, but I can see it happening. And I go back and forth between wanting it and wanting to stay far, far away. But even when I try to stay away, the universe steps in (and also we work closely together so there’s that too).

Scott has been traveling a lot the past few weeks so I haven’t seen much of him. And I find myself texting him questions about work just so I can talk to him and see how he’s doing. I literally spend all day thinking up questions to ask that are relevant, real and don’t sound like I’m just looking for a reason to text him. I’m actually so annoyed with myself, but I can’t stop. And he’s always so happy to hear from me and talks about how he can’t wait to get back to the office to see me and plans where we will do lunch. And I kind of love that. 

Anyway, how are y’all? I can’t wait to tell y’all about my new man (not Scott) and it’ll literally be so soon! Promise!

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37 thoughts on “am i addicted to drama?

  1. T says:

    “I always feel like when guys can’t finish it’s because they’re either super sexually active or they masturbate a lot”…. most def! I totally agree!!

  2. Joyce says:

    I hate Brady now, especially because he slept with Tia and knew you didn’t like her. Good on you for ignoring him! I’m starting to think he’s keeping you on the side because of how often the night ends with the two of you sleeping together.

    So in regards to your bonding with Scott over difficulty being monogamous.. would you consider doing an open relationship? I think polygamy wouldn’t be for you since you get jealous/dramatic pretty often

    • I don’t think I could ever do an open relationship for the exact reason you mentioned. I think I’m just a spoiled only child and I need to figure out why I am the way I am.

  3. Ann says:

    I went back and read your blog from the beginning – and binge reading it made it pretty clear that sadly, you’re the reason things didn’t work out for you and Brady. Carly said it to you once: “don’t ruing him.” And you did. Youre selfish, spoiled and completely self-absorbed. You were insecure, jealous, bossy, picked fights for no reason and I think ultimately made him completely crazy. This guy loved you, and at the beginning he talked to you, he was open to actual adult conversations. But not once did you seem to show him any real respect or try and see things from his perspective. I don’t want to be mean, especially because I seem to be invested in your life considering I have been reading your blog for three years and now re-read the whole thing. But it’s just clear that you will never change, and whenever someone calls you out on how you are you just get mad and defensive and never really hear the words people are telling you. Be more aware of your words and actions, maybe think of others before yourself. You are so adamant about having someone not cheat on you, but you have no problem being the person that someone cheats with. You have a different set of rules for yourself than you do others. I doubt you can change, but I’m hopeful you will at least a little bit.

    • Oh my gosh! That attack was completely uncalled for.

      Reese – your 20’s should be all about letting yourself be selfish and making mistakes. It’s the time of your life to go out and have fun! I know I was awful in my 20’s in the way I treated men and myself but now happily settled in with a guy who says he was the same way when he was younger. Don’t listen to Ann. You didn’t ruin Brady. Maybe you pushed him away but he’s fine. He’s doing his 20-something male thing.

      I loved the conversations you are having with Scott regarding relationships, etc. It’s good to have a friend in the same boat. How old is he, by the way? I feel like you’ve really changed since Brady. Sometimes you have to lose a good one to find the great one!

      Just one piece of advice… stop smooching on your married coworker! 😉

    • A says:

      Daaaaaaaaaaamnnnnnnn girl. Way to toss it allllll out there. Yikes. But, I do have to agree with the last part of your spiel: “You are so adamant about having someone not cheat on you, but you have no problem being the person that someone cheats with. You have a different set of rules for yourself than you do others.”

      That is most definitely true and has been proven time and time again by Reese’s own account… lol.

    • I don’t disagree with you on this comment but I definitely don’t think I ruined Brady or made him crazy. I think both of us have faults and issues and that’s what ruined our relationship. he was never perfect and did things to make me insecure from the beginning. I’m not blaming myself or him but I just don’t think we could ever be together

  4. Mandy says:

    I think its time to walk away from Brady. I wanted you guys to work out so badly but if hes screwing Tia then I think you are crazy to even have him in your life. I never wanted to believe he was such a dick but thats how it seems now. I think you need to find someone whos going to stand up to you and push you back (not literally). I think you do a lot of things that you do because you have always got away with it and no one challenges you. I think when you find the one you are supposed to be with, things will be different

    • Jenny says:

      Why is Brady a dick? News flash he’s a single man. Is Reese a home wrecker because of Zach or Scott? Brady deserves to do whatever he wants without the negativity and finger pointing. Reese you should be the last person judging Brady. You have never made an effort to have a productive relationship. You were aggressive, made everything about you, materialistic, judgmental and disrespectful throughout the relationship. Work on yourself before acting like Brady is such a horrible man who is hurting sweet perfect Reese. Grow up. You’re closer to 30 than 20 and you have not changed one bit.

      • I’m not judging Brady. you are correct – he can do what he wants but I don’t want to be a part of his life either. and he can think whatever he wants about me, too.

      • Mandy says:

        To me hes a dick if hes fucking Tia who stole from Reese when Reese was his girlfriend. Even he and Reese weren’t off/on right now it would still seem like a dick move to me.
        Secondly, I never said Reese was perfect. However this is HER blog, not Bradys so I am speaking to her I like I would a friend.
        Lastly, If you dislike Reese so much why are you here? Seems kind of pointless and just like on of the people who troll on Yahoo articles just to get reactions.

  5. Kaily says:

    Reese why are you always trying to one-up every woman you think Brady is with? Since the start of you and Brady you done this countless times. You even did that before Brady. Why were you such a bitch to Amelia? Who you pegged incorrectly. Brady wasn’t with her but you thought so so you thought your shitty attitude is okay. Yet if the tables were turned then you’d be bitching about how unfair it is. You say that you don’t want to be a part of his life yet you can’t stop yourself from hanging out with him when he asks or having your friends stalk him on social media and then use that info as ammunition. What if your overreacting and jumping to conclusions about Tia just like you did about Amelia? For someone who talks a good game and seems to act as though she is holier than thou, you seem to be extremely insecure and judgemental. I think you and your insecurities and your lack of emotional closeness brought out the worse in Brady. He loved you but you were so overbearing and constantly trying to make him into what you want but never changed yourself. You wanted a committed relationship but wanted the freedom to do whatever with other men too. God forbid Brady say hi or smile at another woman though.

    You need to learn to love yourself, be a more positive person – from the inception of this blog to present, you come across as a negative person. There isn’t one post where you aren’t trying to one-up a woman you deem as threat or talking shit about someone (Amelia, Tia, Hunter). Who are you to even judge Hunter when you had no issues hooking up with the married man a couple posts back. Plus you have an emotional relationship and sometimes physical relationship with Scott. Who cares what he tells you about his wife/marriage…how would you feel if your husband were acting like Scott with another woman. From reading this blog you would flip the fuck out on the woman (anyone remember Jessica)? I think you need to go back to therapy and work on yourself because you clearly are misguided.

  6. Kat says:

    Love your blog! Do what makes you happy and leave all this negative from these comments behind! Can’t wait to hear all about your new man!

    • Ali.b says:

      Not trying to be funny at all, but u should try to find a guy who is open and ok with you talking to and flirting with other guys- but who wont do the same to u…He may really be out there, and understand its who u are and what u need from a boyfriend. So like semi-polyamorous?? May be easier than trying to change who u are, monogamy isn’t for everyone🤔

      • Joyce says:

        I disagree with this. It shouldn’t be one sided, if she wants to be able to flirt with other guys then he should be allowed to do the same. But maybe if they had a discussion that allowed each other to only go as far as flirting, that seems better.

        But really, I think your focus should be on letting go of insecurities and being comfortable​ with your (future) bf having female friends. Instead of being protective by causing drama, you would fare better by being friends with them as well. It’s a bigger hurdle trying to cheat with a friend’s bf if you’re actually close to them.

      • Raycheese says:

        This isn’t the worst idea. There are some guys out there who get off on that sort of thing. Seeing their girl flirt/get attention from other men. It’s not one sided if he is into it! 😉

  7. I think you and Brady need to just cut all ties. You’re going to keep having a mental struggle until you’re 100% done with him.

    As for Scott.. I think you guys would be amazing together – once he leaves his wife. Starting up something now, is just so risky and can do damage to any future you might have with each other.

    But I really do think in a weird way you guys might work out really well!

  8. This makes me so sad. Not long ago I was the wife in this situation. She will find out and it will kill her. You (and scott) will become the reason she doesn’t sleep at night, feels bad about herself, and loses all her confidence.

    Don’t be that woman anymore Reese. Don’t be the woman he breaks another woman down. Please

    • Kelly says:

      THIS! I couldn’t agree more. I know some people are condoning this behavior because this is what you do in your 20s, make mistakes that is but this is unequivocally wrong. The whole thing with Scott is screwed up. Wasn’t Reese bitching months ago about him sexual harassing her? Now she’s encouraging this behavior and having an emotional and physical relationship with this married man. Messed up and hypocritical.

    • Joyce says:

      I’m sorry you were the wife in this situation. Cheating is never okay, it hurts everyone involved. The other woman carries some blame and so does the man! Cheating takes two people to consent. And while Reese should do her utmost to prevent this from happening, Scott’s the one HUGELY at fault. Even if it wasn’t Reese, he would find someone else. If that marriage ended, I wouldn’t blame Reese at all. In fact she would have been the catalyst to help speed up the process so the wife can be free of a cheating husband

  9. Tia says:

    Ok look. I have no reason to judge on this situation because I’m in my 20’s and God knows I make mistakes all of the time. Regardless; I think that Reese should do what she likes; as long as she is being safe. And I think we can all agree that she is. So what she does is no one else’s damn business to throw her under the bus. Reese; girl point me to some great Chicago eateries please. I would love to travel there.
    Btw this other Tia sounds like a capital bitch and a she devil all rolled into one person. 😦

  10. Tia says:

    Thank you for the lovely compliment shanack. But instead of going for “fucking asshole” I prefer Bitch. A beautiful intelligent talented charming and humorous woman. And if your going to be mad because I gave my opinion; you don’t have to take it. I don’t see your name there. And it makes me look bad for responding to you. But I needed a good laugh for the night. Thanks so much hunny. And I don’t condone cheating. But if the opportunity presents itself and both parties are willing. Then get it on. Or are you so far above being human that you don’t make mistakes. The fact that Reese has made self reflections are pretty damn good. For her to share a part of herself to others is even better. And for you to call me out thinking your the adulter police is not good either.

  11. Tia says:

    Damn so what do you say about women who honestly just flirt with a man who is married? must be a harlot right shannmack? Or is it called a hoe nowadays?

  12. Krueger boy says:

    I think the titles a bit over presenting. Its not the most uncommon story nowadays its actually quite normal and fact of the matter is regardless of wrong or right, you can’t fight feelings forever. I have found myself going through as well as putting others through. And everyone has hidden intentions and some suck at showing feeling of any kind. Let people be

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