Brady and I wanted to take a vacation that wasn’t your typical lay on the beach and drink for five days straight vacation. We wanted to do something different. One of my coworkers just got back from a ski trip in Utah so I told Brady I wanted to go skiing.

We decided on Aspen – since we were gonna do it, we wanted to do it the bougie way. I remember going to Aspen once when I was in the fifth grade with my parents, but I got to the top of the ski hill and I was too afraid to go down and cried and had to be rescued. I thought now was a good time to redeem myself.

For the trip, I needed some new things so I went into Barney’s and let my favorite sales associate deck me out in the warmest, most stylish items she could find. I got a Moncler, a faux fur scarf, wool socks, ear muffs and the cutest booties I just couldn’t leave without. I’m glad Brady offered to pay for the trip himself because my total at Barney’s almost made me vomit.

The beginning of our journey to Colorado felt really weird – like we were two people traveling together who didn’t even know each other. Like it just felt really distant despite my efforts to be fun and get him to be fun with me. I blamed it on it being early. But after a couple of in flight naps, things seem to go back to normal. Brady just went skiing in Vermont recently and told me some stories about that. I was enjoying trying to imagine his mom skiing and falling.

We got a shuttle from the little airport to our bomb ass Airbnb. Like, I’d move to Aspen just to live in that house. It was situated in the middle of the woods with huge windows everywhere. Both of the bedrooms were lofted and the master led out to the balcony where there was a hot tub and a little wine cellar. The décor was really dark and modern and super woodsy. It made me want to put on a set of plaid flannel pajamas and warm socks with a glass of like scotch or something.

We put down our stuff and changed so we could go explore. I’d done my research and found out that there are tons of shopping options in Aspen so that’s what I wanted to do first. We ventured to one shopping area and went in and out of stores with our coffee and tea. I was obsessed with all the local shops and told Brady that I wanted to quit my job and move to Aspen to open a home store. He laughed, but I wasn’t really kidding.

We found a tiny little cabin restaurant to have dinner in and got salads, soup, wine and Moscow mules. Everyone was super, super nice and we met this good looking older couple, Lisa and Kevin. Loved them so much. They have a vacation house in Aspen, but live in San Diego full time. So they said they’d show us around the nightlife.

Our next stop was a cute little cocktail lounge. I was suddenly annoyed with myself for wearing just wearing jeans and riding boots because Lisa had on heeled booties with her fur bomber and she looked so cool. Kevin is a shot guy and encouraged three rounds of shots upon entering. I realized that I’m too old to be taking shots at the bar anymore. My poor tummy can’t take it.

Lisa told me all about their life in San Diego. Kevin works as a cardiologist and Lisa sells Lipsense. She describes herself as an entrepreneur which I think is a bit of a stretch, but that’s fine.

We went home around midnight because we were all tired. But we told Lisa and Kevin we’d meet up with them after breakfast the next day.

When we got back to the cabin, Brady made us drinks and we sat in the living room watching tv. It looked so cool with all the windows and trees and snow. He started being really sweet randomly like, “I always miss you when I’m not with you.” And I didn’t even know what to say so I just said, “Aww.” The both of us are so terrible at expressing any kind of emotion and since we never do, we don’t know even know how to. It’s kind of sad actually.

I even said, “Why are you being so nice?” and then he stopped.

The next morning, we walked and got breakfast and by then, Brady was itching to get out on the slopes. There was all this drama around getting all of our gear and then riding the lift to the top of the mountain. And then I told Brady that he and Kevin should warm up without us so Lisa and I could drink hot chocolate and Bailey’s.

I actually didn’t end up actually skiing until the second to last day of our trip. There was just so much else to do like get my nails done, drink my weight in all of the local and imported wine, eat twice my weight in cheese, ask Lisa for marriage advice, make Brady take pictures of me all over the cabin, etc. Brady was convinced I was afraid and wouldn’t go up there, but finally I put on all my gear and I skied. Well, I went down once, got embarrassed, dirty and scared and I didn’t try it again.

But I had a great time in Aspen and will go back. And it was nice to be with Brady for a week without any drama and when we got back to Chicago, we went back to his place to spend the weekend together. It still felt like the Jill thing was lingering even though we squashed it. The thought of Jill and Brady talking and flirting made me itch. Every time Brady’s phone vibrated it made me anxious. When we were in Aspen, I had a distraction, but back in Chicago, all those awful feelings suddenly came crashing back.

We got back to the city on Friday morning and of course, Brady wanted to rush to work to see what he’d missed. I was exhausted from all the skiing I didn’t do. So I took the longest shower of my life then got in bed with Tucker.

When I woke up, I had nine emails from Scott. Eight of them were about business, but the last one said:

“I wanted to be the first to talk to you about this. Monica just put in her notice. She accepted a position at another company that is more in line with her career path. Would you be interested in interviewing for her current job? Let me know.”

First of all, interview? Was I not a shoe in after training Monica and basically helping her do her job for months? And maybe I’m just a bitter, petty bitch with too much pride, but after all that I didn’t even want the job.

So I replied, “I’ll have to let you know about that.”

I went home and spent the day catching up on laundry and housework and then packed a weekend bag so I could go to Brady’s. In the Uber there, I found a new restaurant on Instagram that looked good so I texted Brady a screenshot and asked if he wanted to try it for dinner.

He said, “I already have dinner plans tonight. We could go tomorrow or Sunday.”

How could he already have dinner plans? What the fuck? With who? I went back and forth between demanding some answers and just not responding. It’s just so weird. I wasn’t upset that Brady had plans with someone other than me, but it was just strange that he didn’t mention them until I brought it up. But I’m so chill these days. A few years ago I would’ve blown up like a psychopath, but I kind of felt like if he had dinner plans then I needed my own plans too.

So I texted Lexi, “Where are we drinking tonight?”

She replied, “So glad you asked. Let’s do wine and dinner at the winery and then we go to the bar. Meet at my place at 7:30!”

By the time I called an Uber to go to Lexi’s, Brady still hadn’t come home from work. I texted him, “I’m going out with Lexi. See you later tonight.”

And he immediately read my message and didn’t say anything back. What the fuck ever, dude.

We started at the winery and immediately started with a bottle of rosé and a charc board. I’m vegetarian at the moment so I just nibbled on the crackers and cheese. Lexi was disappointed that there was no one good at the winery (aka no one came over to hit on her) so she texted some friends and found a bar we could go to.

In the Uber to the next place, I checked my phone to see if Brady texted me. He hadn’t so I got on Instagram. I was just mindlessly flipping though the stories when a video made me stop. It was Nick and he was spinning a girl around and then kissing her. The caption was, “The most beautiful girl in the world.” With all the spinning, I couldn’t tell if she actually was, but it was so cheesy, I could’ve puked. Who even took that video and what made him think we, his followers, wanted to see it? But cute. Good for him.

At the next place, Lexi introduced me to a bunch of guys she knew (obviously) and we sat down and had drinks with them. They were typical douchey business boys who used super generic lines and Lexi ate it all up. I kept rolling my eyes as I drank my Paloma. After a couple drinks with them, they said they were going to a different bar, but I told Lexi I wanted to stay. I was enjoying the vibe of the place and the drinks were good. Plus I was sick of those boys.

A little while later, a bald guy came over to us. He looked a few years older than us, but was pretty good looking and dressed well.

“My friend and I want to come over and have a drink with you, if that’s okay?” he said after our initial greeting. He gestured to the friend, who was still sitting at the bar.

Before I could say anything, Lexi said, “Sure. There’s room here.”

So we chatted with those guys for a bit. One of them owns a flooring company and the other works for him so I actually had a lot to talk about with them. We exchanged business cards.

Eventually one of them asked, “What are you girls doing after this?”

Lexi and I looked at each other and she shrugged.

The owner guy said, “I’m inviting some people back to my condo. It isn’t far from here.”

“We’ll come!” Lexi exclaimed.

They paid our tab and then we got in a cab to their place. I gave Lexi a look while we sat in the backseat.

“What?” she whispered.

“Why do you always do this?” I whispered back. She shrugged and smiled, obviously loving where the night was going.

When we got to the condo there were already a ton of people there. I got a weird feeling about the whole situation like it was a big orgy waiting to happen. But it actually ended up being weirdly super fun. There was a piano and someone played all night and we all danced and socialized. I met so many people. Someone placed a food order so we were all eating sliders, fries, and mac and cheese at 3 am.

Before I knew it, it was 5:40 am. My eyes were burning and I kept yawning and finally I said, “Lexi, it’s 6 am. Let’s go.”

I could tell she still wanted to stay and mingle more (the party was still raging), but she still obliged and went around saying goodbye to all her new friends.

At this point, I didn’t know if I should stumble into Brady’s house at 6 am or just go home and pretend I wasn’t out that late. Not that he would even be able to judge me for staying out late, but he already thinks Lexi is a bad influence. And I didn’t want him to have any reason to second guess what I was doing when the night was honestly so innocent.

But I really wanted to sleep with Brady and wake up next to him so I could ask who he had dinner with. So I had the cab drop me off at Brady’s house. Tucker blew my cover by barking at the top of his lungs when I let myself in. When he realized it was me, he calmed down and rolled over so I could pet him. I took of my heels and padded to Brady’s room barefoot with Tucker in my arms. I was surprised to see Brady’s phone illuminating the room. He was awake.

“Hey,” I whispered.

Brady glanced at me and then back at his phone. “Hey.”

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Not directly, but don’t worry about it.”

I got undressed and climbed into bed, snuggling next to Brady. He was rigid for a moment and then he put his phone down and put his arm around me.

“So how was dinner?” I asked.

“It was good,” he told me and I cut him off before he could elaborate.

“Who did you go with?”

“Just Alex and some people from work. It was someone’s birthday.”

“Was Sydney there?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked that, but I couldn’t help it. I really wanted to know.

“She was.”

“No wonder you didn’t invite me as your plus one!”

Brady didn’t say anything and we fell asleep. The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I bought some new furniture and rearranged/decorated my apartment. On Saturday night, Brady and I went to dinner and went back to his place to binge watch some tv. Lexi sent me videos on Snapchat from a bar, but I was not up for her shenanigans.

I’d forgotten about Scott’s email until I got to work on Monday and he stopped by my office.

“Hey there! Good morning!” he greeted me.

“Hi,” I replied back.

“Did you have a good weekend?” Scott asked, making himself comfortable.

“I did. Thanks for asking.”

“Glad to hear it.”

I gave him a look like, “Get to the point already.”

“I wanted to follow up on my email. About Monica’s position.”

“Okay…”

“I know you’ve interviewed before and I don’t want that to stop you from interviewing again. I think now is the right time for you to take on this role. I think you are the best and only candidate and I don’t want you to miss out on this opportunity because of what happened last time.”

It’s like he had read my mind and knew exactly how I was feeling.

“Why is now a better time than before?” I had to ask.

“Because I’ve been in my position longer. The two of us have always worked well together and now I can really mentor you into what you need to be to succeed. I think we can really make a huge impact, me and you.”

“I really just don’t want to do all this prepping and get my hopes up just to get told no again,” I said honestly.

“That won’t happen. Because I’m going to help you. Now is your time.”

So we spent the rest of the week coming up with a business strategy that I would present to the New York office once interviews started. I’m still not sure if I even want to interview, but I would kind of feel silly saying no and then just staying in my current job doing nothing. Monica officially put in her notice so interviews will start next week and Scott keeps emailing me to keep me in the loop even though I never actually said I wanted to do. So we will see what happens.