On Thursday when I got to work, I walked past Amanda on my way to my office. She avoided eye contact with me and I thought about confronting her about lying to Whitney. The fact that she was gossiping about me, a director, was not okay and I needed her to know that. But then I thought it might cause more drama than it’s worth and she will be gone once the summer is over. Still pissed at her though.
Before I could get to my office, Diana shouted my name.
“Reese! Come in here!”
She sounded excited so I rushed into her office. She looked ecstatic.
“I just got the email from Martin. They want to do it. Look.” She showed me the open email which started with: “Diana, hello beautiful.”
So apparently Rob wasn’t the only one who was straddling the line between professional and unprofessional. The email basically said that they wanted to our stuff for their website. There were some legal terms and a bunch of stuff I didn’t understand plus a contract attached.
“This is very exciting news, Reese. We’ve never done anything like this before,” Diana enthused.
So I’m glad it worked out despite Rob trying to ruin it. Diana was in a great mood all day meaning the entire office was in a good mood.
After work, I stopped by Kendra’s. John wasn’t home luckily so I got her undivided attention. I wanted her opinion on Brady plus just catch up with my best friend.
I let her go first.
“I got promoted at the law firm so now I’m a practicing attorney,” she announced.
“Kendra! That’s amazing!” I said, hugging her.
“I know! I’m so excited. Now I will be able to pay rent without dipping into my savings. And maybe even get some new work clothes.”
I hugged her again. I am genuinely happy for Kendra. Of all people, she deserves it.
“How did your date with Brady go?” she asked.
I couldn’t help smiling. “I think it went really good. He’s like, the epitome of a gentleman,” I said.
“So like everything you’re not used to?”
“Exactly. He is so sweet, but so politically correct. He hasn’t even kissed me. Little does he know I would fuck him instantly if he asked.”
Kendra laughed. “Don’t. Sounds like things are going well between you so far. Wait as long as you can to have sex with him. You know sex always ruins things with you.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Yes it is. After you have sex with a guy things go down hill. Every time.”
“Besides Eric, who did that happen with?”
Kendra began naming every guy I’ve ever had sex with which was really uncalled for.
“Fine. You’ve made your point,” I said. “But what if I fall in love with him then we have sex and it sucks?”
“That’s okay. Sex can be fixed. It sucked for me and John at first.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He couldn’t make me orgasm for the first three years.”
I looked at her, appalled. Excuse me? Three years with no orgasm? Why would anyone subject themselves to that kind of torture?
But maybe she is right. Do you guys think I should wait longer to have sex with Brady? What is longer? I usually have sex with a guy after the third/fourth/fifth date. 😬
hot mess in high heels. 
Like you said he’s a gentleman. And the fact he hasn’t kissed you yet suggests he wants things to move slow. If he’s that good looking he’ll be used to girls falling at his feet. You need to be different, intrigue him. I know it’s hard, when all you want to do is tear his clothes off, and when he finally makes his move it’ll seem impossible to resist. But he’s not just some guy you wanna fuck is he? You like him, so it’s different. Keep him wanting more, keep him guessing, and soon he’ll be putty in your hands. Believe me, the more you seem uninterested or like, your mood doesn’t depend on if he cares or not, he will be running after you.
how do I intrigue him?! esp since he’s a freaking nerd and I can’t even understand his jokes.
Haha. It depends on the guy. I normally like to make sure I stand out by voicing my opinions and standing by my values, there’s nothing more of a turn off to a guy then trying to like to same things as him to impress him when you start dating. It just shows your naïve and he’ll walk all over you. Be independent, show him you don’t need to approval, your so comfortable with who you are that you don’t need to impress. Take the lead, you tell him where you want to go, or you suggest going out. Don’t sound desperate, just run it past him that your going somewhere are you’d like some company? And when he texts you, leave it a day, then when you text don’t apologise or give him an excuse, he’ll be wondering what was more important than him.
Maybe you change after you have sex because you have sex before you feel secure with the guy. Wait until you feel comfortable, respected, and at ease with Brady and then you won’t be as insecure after sex. Then if he wants to hang out with his friends one night or has a work thing, even drunk Reese will know that he’s not blowing you off or being a dick.
I honestly think you could be right, alli.
Brady seems like a great guy who’s interested in getting to know you first before anything physical happens, and it kinda seems to me that it might take him a while to get comfortable with a person in order to get physical. (which I think is kinda adorable, really).
I say wait a while longer, but I wouldn’t necessarily say put a time/date cap on it, eventually it’ll just feel right and happen naturally without either of you forcing it to happen.. Could be the next date, could be 5 dates from now, but I think you’ll know when it’s right. I think he’s pretty unaggressive though, so you might need to throw him a bone to let him know you actually want him to kiss you. Either way, I wouldn’t worry about it, he’d need to be cray to pass you up girl!
you’re right, I’m overthinking it huh? I’m not used to waiting and/or caring.
I think 3-5 dates is “standard” in todays world, but I would say just let him make the first move.
what if he never does Rachel!?
He will. Or if he is taking too long, then you make the first move. If you like him a lot, and he likes you back, you should be able to just be yourself and bang him when you wanna bang him.
How do you intrigue him? By being fully aware that you have more to offer than being dolled up and ready for sex with any guy that shows interest in you. Which doesn’t seem to be the case, unfortunately. When you realize that, the man you’re with will too.
up until now that’s all I thought guys wanted hehe.
I’ve been pondering this since your date post, and I keep thinking that sometimes jokes/big words are used because we don’t know any better, and sometimes they are used to act like we are better than others. It seems like the former is more the case with Brady and his social awkwardness, so yeah, you may have to work a bit harder to get what you want out of him.
That doesn’t mean that if you want in his pants and vice versa, that you have to wait on him to take the lead though!
One final thought… Kendra didn’t say that she went three years with no orgasms… just that John didn’t give her one. Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands, yahno?
I def don’t think he wants to make me feel stupid. I just am. 😩 you’re totally right about Kendra. I didn’t even think about that.
I’m thinking Kendra meant he didn’t make her orgasm through straight up sex for three years. He probably got her off with oral, manually, etc.
I really, really hope so. I wouldn’t be able to last 3 years.
oh fuck no. me neither.
Wow- you really hit the jackpot with this one! Never have I gone out with a guy who hasn’t been the first to initiate sex. Think of how hot it will be when it finally happens! Just wait for him to make the move and let us all know how it goes! 🙂
Dude, the right guy isn’t going to think differently of you no matter WHEN you have sex with him. It’s all about your connection, ability to appreciate and respect each other, and ability to appreciate and respect yourself. If you’re comfortable sleeping with him and initiating, go ahead. If not, don’t. Just be sure that you’re being good to you AND him as best you can (nobody’s perfect 🙂 ).
I live with my boyfriend and we’re planning on getting married in the next 2-3 years (money dependent). We’ve been together a year and a half and I’ve never met a hotter, kinder, more supportive and respectful guy. He treat me wonderfully. And you know what? I slept with him the first night I met him. I didn’t MEAN to, but he was just super hot and fun. The next morning I drove him home wearing footie pjs. So either the when of sex doesn’t matter or this is the lengthiest one night stand I ever had 😉
Do you. Be respectful, be honest, and go with your gut (sans excess booze though)
awe, I love your story. I don’t think it’s so much that I’m afraid he will think differently of me after we have sex. I think I change after I have sex with guys which is the problem.
You’re so sweet, thanks! I think it’s pretty impressive, putting your life out there like this 🙂
Maybe then that is what you should focus on. The change you experience, why it happens, and what you can do differently. Because if you change after sex, it might not really matter when it happens or who initiates it. Think of it as one of those retrospectively great, at the time pain in the ass, growing opportunities 🙂
Each couple is different. Some are ready for sex on the first date while others take time to get to that level of intimacy. My fiance and I established a very strong friendship (think 2 years) with a lot of sexual tension before we went on our first date (we were never both single at the same time until then). Long story short, we knew that we had amazing chemistry together before our first date and it was well worth the wait. My advice is to get to know Brady, flirt a little and give him signs that you are interested. He definitely sees you as more than a one night stand and wants to get to know you better. Maybe he needs some more encouragement to be a little more aggressive. No harm in making the first move. Be confident and don’t chase after him too much. I know easier said than done. Go out, have fun and keep your options open. Maybe when realizes that you aren’t sitting at home each night waiting for him to make a move and that he might have competition, he’ll step his game up.
As for Kendra, thankfully I didn’t have that problem with my fiance but I don’t know if sex can be fixed. Yes, she probably had orgasms within those three years just not from intercourse but what if after all the trying and trying to teach her man, if never got better. I’m not saying that sex makes a relationship because it doesn’t but you have to have a sexual connection. I don’t know if that makes sense.
wonderful advice. you’re absolutely right. I guess I just don’t know how to be subtle (obviously) and I’m trying to refrain from being drunk around him because we all know how that will turn out.
I think that you shouldn’t plan when you can and can’t have sex with him. Maybe don’t go out of the way to put yourself in any situations where it might happen for the first few (like maybe don’t ask him in when he drops you off), but if it happens, it happens. I think it’s even weirder to not just go with it if it’s what you both want.
you’re right, I’m totally overthinking this.
My comment at the top makes no sense there haha meant to reply to your answer to Sarbear.
I think you need to be wondering if HE is worth having sex with! You’re awesome! Take this time and see how worth your time/energy/vagina he is. I think after your date to the beach this weekend with Chris and Carly you’ll have a better idea. If he’s awkward, he probably thinks having his friend around will help him be himself. Good luck!
he’s toooottttaaallllly worth it! good advice though. 😉
no, your friend Kendra is an asshole.
by that I mean, she has different views then people like you do. He couldnt get her off for three years. Like thats insane. You aren’t like her. Sex is very important. Eric was a dick. Brady is the complete opposite. Do it when you feel the moment is right. Sorry for calling your friend an asshole.
I must admit, I laughed out loud when I read that. I agree that sex is important and I think I kind of struggle with knowing when is “right.”