After sitting in the interview with the woman Diana had in mind for my replacement, I was feeling apprehensive about leaving. The woman was probably ten to fifteen years older than me, thought she was hilarious, and wore a maxi dress to the interview. I didn’t think she was a good fit at all and Diana asked for my opinion after the interview.
“I like that she has so much experience in PR,” I said. This was true at least. She sounded really amazing on paper. “But I don’t know. Something seems off about her.”
“Like what?” Diana wanted to know.
Well, for starters she doesn’t understand the term “business casual.” How does she even still have a maxi dress out this time of year?
“I just didn’t like her. I don’t think she’s in tune with fashion or trends,” I said.
“Okay,” Diana replied. “I appreciate your honesty.”
So between my potential replacement and the fact that my new boss is kind of a dick I am starting to second guess leaving.
For New Year’s Eve Kendra invited us to a party hosted by one of her coworkers at a swanky art gallery. We all got ready and met at my apartment to pregame. I made champagne Jell-O shots, margaritas, and pizza.
I wanted to wear my new pumps so I had to change my entire outfit and decided on a flesh colored beaded dress with a plunging neckline to show off the girls. Carly actually told me a cute story behind Brady’s gift to me. I excitedly asked her if she wanted to see my new shoes and she said, “I already saw them.”
I gave her a confused look so she continued.
“Brady asked if I wanted to see your Christmas gift and I said yes so he showed me. He went to the store and picked them out all by himself. He was so proud! Apparently he walked around Neiman Marcus for a really long time trying to find a pair of shoes he thought you would like and wouldn’t let any of the sales people help him because he wanted to pick them out on his own. And when he finally picked out the shoes, they didn’t have your size so he had to order them from another store and there was all this drama. But he was determined because he knew you would like them!”
Presh. And I do really like them so he did well.
As we were getting ready in my room Kendra said, “Let’s have a drama free night, k?” And she was just looking at me.
“Of course! Why are you looking at me?” I asked, offended.
Kendra narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re always the source of the drama and you know it.”
Which was really rude.
The party was indeed swanky – people were wearing floor length gowns and fur and bow ties, but there was also an open bar, VIP tables and everyone seemed to be around our age. We were all a little tipsy by the time we got there.
So our group consisted of me, Brady, Chris, Carly, Preston and Kendra. Imagine my reaction when John walked in with slicked back hair and ugly shoes. I was literally shocked speechless.
He greeted Brady and Chris and I leaned over to Kendra.
“What the fuck?” I hissed.
“I don’t know. I didn’t invite him,” she said nonchalantly like it wasn’t a big deal. And then John came over and said hi and kissed Kendra on the cheek. She let him.
Once John sat down at the opposite end of the table, I looked around to see if anyone was appalled by what was taking place. No one seemed to care.
Since it was open bar we all spent the night drinking and occasionally getting up from our table to dance. We counted down at midnight then I drunkly kissed my boyfriend then Kendra because she didn’t have anyone to kiss plus she’s my bestie.
Shortly after midnight we were all just sitting at the table hanging out when I saw Brady’s phone on the table light up with a text message.
I couldn’t help looking down and saw that someone named “Maddie” texted him, “Happy New Year,” with three or four kissing emojis.
Wait. Maddie he worked with? The lame girl with the limp brown hair?
“What the fuck?” I blurted out, pointing to his phone.
Brady picked up his phone and read the message. “What?”
“Why did she send you that? Kissing emojis? Are you kidding me?”
“I can’t help what she says to me,” Brady began.
“Yes you can! Obviously she thinks it’s okay to send you that!” I seethed.
“I don’t know why. I didn’t say anything to her.” Brady was looking at me like I was crazy.
I started to say something else when Kendra grabbed my chin and yanked it so I was looking at her.
“I told you no drama tonight, Reese,” she said through clenched teeth. “Cut it out now.”
I nodded. I promised Kendra I wouldn’t make a scene so I knew whatever I needed to say to Brady had to wait.
I grabbed my drink and started chugging it.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why she sent that,” I heard Brady say.
“It’s fine,” I said breezily. “If that’s who you want, you can have her.”
“I don’t want her.”
“Honestly, it’s cool. If you want someone who looks like that over someone who looks like this, then I certainly won’t stop you.”
“Reese,” he said like I was being completely ridiculous.
“What? I’m a great catch so if you want that then go for it. I’ll be fine.” I got up and motioned for Kendra to dance. Brady tried to grab my elbow as I walked away but I snatched it away. Totally not causing a scene.
After our fight I avoided Brady and spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking. Whenever he would try to approach me I would run away because I wasn’t supposed to create drama or whatever.
So naturally I got extremely drunk and called an Uber to pick me and Kendra up. Before we left she gave John a hug and on the ride home I told her how much I supported her forgiving him and wanting to make things work with him. Ugh.
On Thursday morning I woke up with a headache and sore throat that I thought was a hangover, but later in the day I realized it was probably from traipsing around the city with no coat in ten degree weather. Brady texted me really early and asked if I wanted to get breakfast. I replied no.
Honestly when I saw that text message from Maddie I just felt like I was so over Brady. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel mad or sad or hurt like when I discovered the Jessica messages. I just felt like, “Ew, that’s my competition lol?” I may not like Jessica, but I’ll admit that she’s at least attractive and obviously takes pride in her appearance. Maddie is pretty in a “I don’t own makeup or heels higher than two and a half inches” kind of way.
Brady made a few more attempts to talk to me on Thursday, but I was short with him and refused to meet up.
Friday was supposed to be my last day of work but I still had so much to do that I changed it to Tuesday. I was in the office until almost nine o’clock on Friday night. I was still feeling like shit, apprehensive about leaving, and over Brady so I was just in a weird mood.
I finally agreed to see Brady on Saturday afternoon because I missed him. I told him I wanted pizza so he came over with a large cheese pizza, wine and a cupcake.
“I already have wine,” I told him when he walked in. I put two slices of pizza on a plate and sat on the couch.
“You’re still mad?” Brady asked, sitting down next to me.
“I’m not mad,” I said. “If you and Maddie want to go off and have a nice fulfilling life together then cool. Good luck with that.”
“I don’t want that.”
“Then why is she sending you kissing emojis?” I don’t even need anyone to tell me how ridiculous I sounded saying “emojis” in the middle of a discussion.
“I don’t know. I told her that it was inappropriate,” Brady said, pulling out his phone to show me.
“What’s your obsession with your coworkers? You pretend to be all serious and professional, but you’re secretly trying to get in everyone’s pants.”
“And then I look like the psychopath for trying to keep them away from you. You’re the problem, Brady!”
I didn’t even want my pizza and cupcake anymore.
“I’m not, I swear. Maddie and I are just friends. I’m not interested in her whatsoever.”
“Right,” I rolled my eyes.
We were quiet for several minutes before Brady said, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s whatever. You’re free to do whatever you want,” I said.
“Why are you doing this?”
At this point I actually wanted to blow up with frustration.
“Why are you doing this? Do you not understand what is appropriate in a relationship? I don’t have random guys sending me pictures and emojis! I know where to draw the line. Did you tell Maddie we broke up? Why is she flirting with you? What’s your fucking problem?”
Brady was looking down and I suddenly felt terrible for yelling at him. He’s like a helpless puppy.
For the next half hour I sat at the end of the couch scrolling through Instagram and Facebook. Then Brady stood up and said he was leaving.
“Bye,” I said as I turned on the tv. I felt him staring at me but I refused to look up at him.
“Bye,” he finally said back and then he left.
I drank wine and watched the Lifetime Movie channel for a few hours until I was almost asleep. Just before midnight, I got a text from Brady that said, “I love you.”
I couldn’t help smiling. I replied, “I love you too,” and Brady said, “Get over here now.”
So I showered and hightailed my ass on over there. It was like nothing ever happened. We had sex, fell asleep, ate cereal in the morning and stayed in bed most of the day.
Don’t even tell me I overreacted about Maddie because I didn’t. You can claim that you wouldn’t care if your boyfriend’s coworkers sent him kissing emojis, but I don’t believe that. I think any sane girlfriend would be upset by it. But seriously, what should I do? I’m so confused (and drugged up on medication, sorry).
Oh and happy new year.
50 thoughts on “good luck with that.”
You are killing me Reese! You and Brady need to talk some shit out! You can’t have makeup sex when you didn’t even solve any problems. He doesn’t get that the texting with coworkers he does is inappropriate, and he isn’t going to if you keep sweeping it under the rug after some silent treatment. Brady is full of shit, girls don’t just text guys like this unprovoked, there has to be a reason jessica and Maddie think it’s normal to text Brady like they do.
i’m sorry :,(
He seems super oblivious. He must have very little understanding of what’s appropriate in a relationship. I think he means well and really thinks people are just super nice to him. He sounds great. He’s lucky you are understanding but don’t let him get away with his shit. I’m proud of you for not causing a scene. I probably would have 😇
hahaha if kendra wasn’t there i definitely would have caused a scene.
Run. He’s a grown man. He can make very educated decisions when it comes to work. He’s capable of making educated decisions when it comes to you. He knows how to use words and if he was a stand-up guy, he’d use them appropriately with you and his fucking coworkers. Also, he “works” a lot and I think there’s more to it than just a high demanding/stressful job. It was such a red flag to me that he went straight to work when you guys got back from Houston. Trust your gut. Just because you love him doesn’t mean he’s the best thing for you. It’s time for Brady to grow up and take some fucking responsibility with all of this. You’re already second guessing so much so early on in a relationship…another major red flag. It has nothing to do with you or your “issues” but everything to do with your intuition. Put your self respect vest on…quit having sex with him and let your broken heart start healing now rather than prolonging it. Accept that something is off…you might not ever get the answers you want to feel validated in all of it, but ironically that is your answer. DTMFA (dump the mother fucker already). You. Deserve. Better.
Oh. And keep your old job. Tell Diana it’s not working and it would be a terrible mistake if you followed through. The new company/job is a ticking time bomb.
ps. don’t hate me 💚
Hah, afuckingree. Another red flag, He always acts oblivious and looks at you like you’re crazy when this shit happens. Any honest person would be able to empathize and understand why you’re upset, not act like it’s completely normal and or harmless. Like what the fuck? That shit is so manipulative. Not to mention it feels like you’re beating a dead horse with what’s appropriate and what’s not. He’s a grown ass man, and if it was the other way around he would be just as upset. No wonder you’re so over it.
I agree a little. I think she should talk to him, but my bf did this in the beginning. “oh, i didnt say anything to her to make her send me those photos!” no, but you didn’t discourage it either. That’s very manipulative Reese. Something is shady.
But I will say this as well, only YOU know the full story and only YOU know in your gut what the right thing to do is. All we can do is give our two cents on your perspective. We don’t know Brady, and we don’t know you. So take the advice here with a grain of salt, and dont do anything you wouldn’t truly feel is right for you. We just all want to see you HAPPY.
now i’m depressed 😦
Sorry, Reese. It’s definitely a shitty place to be in and such hard decisions to make. Don’t undermine your feelings. You’re amazing and I hope the best for you.
I agree with Kay and Megg. I don’t envy your relationship at all!!! I would never want to be with someone like Brady. He is really manipulative and condescending. I would run away and run away fast. As many have already said, just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are the best thing for you. Cut your losses before you get in deeper than you already are. I’ve been there and it really really sucks but you have to look out for you. You shouldn’t be with someone that makes you as neurotic as Brady does. You’re too young for that. Brady doesn’t know how to have an adult relationship and you need someone that is going to be more understanding of your feelings and not make you go crazy like he does. Ps Kendra can be such a bitch sometimes! With friends like her who needs enemies?!
Manipulative doesn’t always mean ‘annoying teenage girl’ he purposefully does things that will make you upset then he gets to play the victim when you cause a scene and blow up at him. That’s manipulative behavior.
very good point.
Yeah…hanging his head, avoiding eye contact, NOT SPEAKING, looking like a hurt puppy. Those are all manipulative flags. He wants Reese to take over the conversation, hoping that she’ll cave. Hoping she’ll say she overreacted or that she’s sorry or getting some kind of apology from her so that the situation is softened and the brushed under the rug. It’s manipulation in the most charming and subtle of ways. And it worked. Reese held her own when he came over, but he got her with the text. Maybe he’s innocent and unaware the degree to which he does this, but it’s a huge behavioral/communication issue.
manipulative as in “why are you making a big deal? they’re sending me pics or messages. Im innocent i tell you!” and getting bent out of shape when you call him on it and twisting it so you’re the one who’s done wrong (the jessica thing. Yes, I would have been annoyed you messaged her, but I wouldn’t have gone off like that if i wasn’t doing something i wasn’t supposed to with the girl in the first place. but he went off on you, and you’re the one apologizing. When he’s just as guilty for shit. He knows you, knows how you are, and then freaks out that you don’t act a certain way or do something, and then calls you.. what was it, self absorbed or something? That’s manipulative. He’s turning everything so it’s YOU who needs to apologize.
yeah i think the way he acted when i messaged jessica showed guilt
Since I don’t have first hand knowledge of yours and Brady’s relationship, I wouldn’t go ahead and say you should run/break up with him. What I will say is that I agree with the commenter above that there’s some red flags. You may be dramatic but you’re not crazy and there is a lot of validity to how you feel about his communication with those girls. Brady could be a douche as some commenters here feel or he really could just be oblivious. Either way, this thing has gone on long enough and I think that for the good of your relationship it’s time to address it in a healthy open manner. You obviously love each other so I don’t see why you have a hard time communicating. It seems like every time this thing comes up you either stop pushing cos Brady seems upset or he stops cos he doesn’t want to upset you. I don’t think this method is sustainable. The make up sex may be great but until this thing is discussed fully and resolved completely I think it will continue to come up. So here’s my advice, tell him how you feel, and why you feel that way and why his action/lack of contributes to these feelings. Tell him everything from him telling Jessica you don’t want them speaking to him talking about your relationship and texting her. It doesn’t matter if he isn’t doing anything with these girls. The fact that he has continued to maintain personal relationship with them is disrespectful to you (I don’t mean small talk at work, I have a problem with the texting). Brady being naïve and oblivious is not an excuse and you should tell him that. How would he feel if the same thing kept coming up with you and other guys? I would also talk to your friends about it (Maybe Carly cos Kendra seems judgmental). They know him personally and may have a more rounded analysis than we do on the blog. I really think you and Brady have got it. But if you really want to make it work, y’all need to start talking more. Tell him that. It would be a shame if you both lost something good because you were too scared to have serious conversations. Start the new year afresh. This could be good for you both, whether or not this relationship makes it, communication is something you both should try to develop. If you can’t be honest, open and vulnerable with each other then you may not stand a chance for the long term. Happy New Year Reese. You’re great!
thank you! I really want to talk to him but i literally don’t know WHAT to say or how to act without being aggressive. i think whenever i try to he shuts down. I may ask carly for advice.
Just tell him you love him but you hate that you guys keep fighting over the same thing. He probably hates it too. Let him know you think it’s important to talk about it so you can both figure it out. Then let your feelings out and tell him everything you’ve been feeling. Even the stuff you think is crazy. Your feelings are valid.
I agree with this comment 100%. As to what to say, start with “Brady, you KNOW I have trust issues and you need to start being aware when your behavior starts my issues up. You can’t keep sticking your head in the sand about being approached by overly flirtatious coworkers.” Or something along those lines. I think he does really want only you, but from what you have blogged about he is good looking enough that he gets hit on all the time, even if he doesn’t realize it. (Jessica, that text from Maddie, your friend in Houston, the drop-it-like-its-hot chick in that bar a couple weeks ago.) That part is not his fault, but sometimes he needs to be a little more aware when other women are being friendly or making a move of some sort. So tell him to cultivate some self awareness.
I disagree… Don’t go in with guns blazing and the “you you you” blame mentality. He won’t listen to you. Go in phrasing it with I feel this, or I feel that. Then no one gets defensive because he’ll feel like your criticizing him and he won’t listen, he’ll just get his back up and go on the attack against you. And then you won’t get anywhere at all.
So this girl is very plain… Is it not possible she has a crush on Brady? And quite possible she was drunk on NYE as many people are? He had no control over what she sent him, and he said he told her it was inappropriate. It seems like he handled that one text fairly well. It would be any further texts I would have an issue with.
she might and he did say that she apologized because she was drunk.
I would have been mad, but I think you’re better at staying angry than I am, lol. I feel like Brady wants to do really well as a boyfriend (the shoe story was freaking adorable) but doesn’t always think. He doesn’t strike me as manipulative, just kind of oblivious sometimes. People are like that, and girl was probably hammered on NYE. I’d still have been mad though, ha.
yeah i agree, i don’t think he knows how to handle this stuff because he isn’t used to it.
I love it how people make mountains out of molehills.
Brady texted the girl back saying it was inappropriate, so I think he handled that well. I read somewhere that you can’t be too polite anymore because people confuse that with flirting, maybe that’s Brady’s problem. He’s just a nice guy, from what I’ve read about him I have a hard time picturing as a womanizer.
You guys need to work on better communication, but I don’t think your relationship is doomed. You just need to learn how to get him talking, it seems that your friend didn’t have any problem with that. I love the story of how he got your shoes, that tells me that he really does care about you.
Why, even after he’s told you several times he only wants you, won’t you trust him? Is it something he’s doing? Or is it a hang up from your previous relationship? Only you know the answers to those questions Reese. I wish you the best.
I actually agree with Luita. Like Reese, I would be so mad if I saw some girl texting that to my boyfriend, but he can’t control what she says to him, so I would be more mad at her… Some girls WILL text a guy inappropriate things completely unprovoked. And he did reply telling her it was inappropriate, so I thought that was a good way of handellng it on his part. Also, like Luita said, Brady doesn’t really come across as a womanizer to me. I mean, when you guys got together, you literally had to do ALL the persuing because he was so shy about it.
I also agree that he just kind of seems oblivious. It’s something he needs to work on because it creates issues between the two of you. I think you need to sit down and seriously lay it out for him. Like, these things bother me, I don’t find this appropriate, etc. and why. That way he can start to make the changes and hopefully be more aware. You guys need to fix your problems instead of covering them up with sex (as tempting as that is, lol) or they won’t go away.
Also, like posters above, the shoe thing is fucking adorable.
maybe i don’t trust him but when things like this keep happening i’m not sure why i should?
I’m definitely not saying you should trust him whole heartedly, he hasn’t given you reason to do so. Personally, I think he’s just too polite and oblivious to know that what he’s doing is inappropriate/ encourages other girls to be inappropriate. But in this instance he told whatsherface that it’s inappropriate, so it’s a step in the right direction. But like other people said above, it’s time to have a talk about his behaviour because you keep having the same fight.
Why does she even have his number?? That would be my first question…I have plenty of friends who work at hospitals and unless they are friends outside of work – they don’t have each others number.
i agree! i thought they were innocent friends until this.
It is easy to get people’s home numbers when you work in a hospital. I do and our department has our home numbers posted on a sheet of paper out in the open. And I bet from his perspective they are innocent friends. Since he told her that it was inappropriate, I would leave this one, but the time has come for you two to seriously TALK about your relationship issues. If you two can’t do it alone, find a counselor. Even a session or two with a completely unbiased party can work WONDERS. For reals.
A COUNSELOR? are we that fucked up?!
No, you are neither of you fucked up, but you both suck balls at talking to each other. My man and I learned a LOT about how to talk to each other with a counselor.
Anyone who says they wouldnt be mad if some girl sent their guy kissing emojis is a fucking liar
You are so fucking right. I agree with everything that you said to Brady. You shouldn’t have backed down with the make-up sex but I find myself sweeping a lot of things under the rug too. The only issue is that I feel like an idiot later on. Good luck and I hope you can resolve this. Brady needs to set some boundaries with other women.
I use the word “emoji”!! LOL And while I do send text messages and emails to co-workers – it is never inapporpriate. We do send funny memes, but no extras, no tongue or kissing emoji’s.
You did not overreact. Those kissing emojis are unacceptable. I would still be angry.
Come on u overreacted on this one! You never texted anyone while drunk and it wasn’t like it was a naked pic it was a freaking emoji!
I don’t think you overreacted at all. Brady needs to be a grown man and set boundaries instead of acting clueless. Yes I said acting because that’s what he’s doing. He knows damn well what he’s doing and then acts like the victim when you call him out. I get that you love Brady, however, you deserve better. Like others have said it seems like nothing is every resolved. Brady acts hurt and you cave. You two have awesome make up sex and then all is forgotten until next time. With Jessica everyone blamed her for being thirsty. Now when Maddie sends inappropriate texts you can’t blame her. Brady is somehow acting in a way to make these women feel this is okay. Why does she even have his number? And second she’s jessicas friend right? Then she knows about the Facebook drama. Might be wrong but I think somehow Brady smoothed things over with Jessica and all is well. I’d keep my eyes open.
yeah and remember when brady had a party and maddie was there and i tried to ask her about jessica? he physically stopped me from telling her. so maybe he has a thing with both of them and they don’t know.
Are you sure it wasn’t a group text?
I agree that it was weird an inappropriate, but if it was a group text I’d care a lot less.
nope it wasn’t
I just remembered Brady put a passcode on his phone after the whole Jessica scenario. Why? Most (honest)people in situations with trust issues choose to be willing to prove themselves so there are no questions or doubts. Locking your phone isn’t very reassuring. And if Brady says he loves you then when isn’t he more than willing to work with you on these kinds of things.
I have a passcode incase I lose my phone. He has clearly misplaced his before. I wouldn’t read too much into things like that.
I feel like if he didn’t have one before, he didn’t just up and change his mind to be on the safe side conveniently after Resse looked at his phone.
I was thinking the exact thing. The passcode being noticed coincided with him losing his phone at the bar. It is pretty silly not to have one with everything that is stored on phones these days. I wouldn’t be reading too much into that either.
I haven’t read the other comments but I am hoping they are commending you. I admit sometimes I think you can be bratty and annoying (sorry =\) but I think Brady needs to wake up. I honestly think it’s not intentional and he’s just oblivious. It may not have been the best way to let out how you feel about this bullshit but it’s about damn time you did. He needs to know that shit is not ok in a relationship. And he needs to set boundaries. You come off looking as some insecure nut job but it’s because he’s not doing his job of making you feel secure. I don’t think the Jessica/Facebook was your greatest achievement but it’s kind of good that it happened because he needs to get a clue. For the record though, I do like Brady. I just think he’s inexperienced relationship wise. And you’re going to have to be very patient without compromising yourself.