Brady and I still haven’t had the conversation and I don’t want to say he’s the one to blame, but he is. Obviously.
On Monday, I called my doctor to talk about birth control options. He was busy so I had to talk to the nurse, who really just wanted to make me feel bad about not wanting a child and not wanting to use condoms with my serious boyfriend.
She said, “If you don’t want to get pregnant you really should use some sort of contraceptive and a condom every single time you have intercourse.”
That’s what they always say and I don’t and I’ve been fine. So I told her I’d come see my doctor later. All the talk of birth control and sex made me really miss my boo. He texted me asking what time I planned on leaving work, after I’d already left work and was having dinner and drinks with Luke.
“I’m off and I’m having Mexican food with Luke,” I told him.
“Will you come over after?” he asked and I replied that I would think about it.
After dinner I was tipsy and went shopping at Preston’s store with Luke then I had to take all my purchases home so I never made it to Brady’s. I could tell he was disappointed when he texted me, “Night,” at like 9:00 PM.
My ex Devin called me on Monday night and I sent him to voicemail. He immediately texted my saying, “Call me. I have to ask you something.”
Curiosity got the best of me and I ended up calling him back. He said he’s serious about opening his own office here in Chicago and he’s going to visit at the end of the month for meetings. He asked if I would work for him and I literally laughed until I cried.
“First of all, you wouldn’t even be able to pay me what I make now. And no offense, Devin, but you’re the last person on earth I’d want to work for,” I explained.
“Ouch,” he laughed. “Don’t you believe me that I’ve changed? I’m not that guy anymore.”
I told him I could refer some people to him, but I would not leave my current job. He asked if we could see each other when he visits.
“No way. My boyf wouldn’t like that,” I said.
“What’s his name? Bobby?” Devin said.
I rolled my eyes. “You know what his name is.”
“He can come to. He’s not gonna stop me from doing what I want.”
After we hung up Devin texted me telling me the dates he would be in Chicago. And I told him I would let him know my schedule even though I know I’m not going to hang out with him.
On Tuesday, Brady finally got me to come over. After work I got a mani pedi then went to the gym. After that I made myself a light kale and avocado salad for dinner. I’m going back to not eating like I want to end up on My 600-lb Life so no more cheeseburgers and hot dogs and donuts and shit.
While I was eating, Brady texted me asking what I was up to. I told him that I was eating dinner and could come over later. So naturally I took my time showering and getting ready and finally showed up at like 8:45. I can’t even lie, I was so happy to see him although I wasn’t about to let him know that.
“Hey, ‘sup?” I greeted him. He was in the living room on his laptop, but put it down when I walked in. I was making a beeline for the stash of wine.
“How are you?” Brady asked following me.
“Fine.” I poured myself a hefty glass of red and took it to the living room where Brady’s work station was set up. I sat in one of the side armchairs and propped my feet and Miu Miu sandals up on the coffee table.
“How was your day?”
“It was fine.”
Brady nodded and smiled like I was being really ridiculous which I kind of was. He worked in silence for a few minutes and then he said, “How’s work been?”
And I said, “It’s been okay.”
So I sat there drinking wine while he worked for an hour. He looked so good that eventually I got up and went to his room. He followed me and I started getting undressed. We started fooling around and I knew we were going to have sex because that was my goal, but I wanted him to think it was my idea.
“Braaaady,” I said in a super annoying high pitched voice. “Undress me.”
He undressed me slowly and sensually which is not Brady at all. After I sat on his face for a while, he grabbed my waist and pulled me down to his erect penis. I squirmed out of his grasp and demanded he get a condom.
“Oh really? Okay,” he said like he was surprised.
“Uh yeah. You had sex with the nastiest girl walking and I’d rather not catch anything, thanks,” I said really sarcastically.
“Okay, okay,” Brady said frustratedly. I smiled to myself.
So we had sex for a really long time. After a certain point it isn’t really enjoyable and it got to that point. I got really frustrated and pushed Brady off me.
“You can leave,” I informed him.
“Go sleep on the couch or something. The bed is mine.”
I’m not sure why I was kicking him out of his own room, but the fact that he was attempting to stand up to me provoked me even more.
“I don’t want to sleep with you. Go away!” I yelled.
Brady mumbled something then got up and started getting dressed. He reached for one of the four pillows on the bed and I pushed him away like I was a mother lion protecting her cubs.
“I can’t at least take a pillow? Why are you being ridiculous?” he asked.
“You know why I’m being ridiculous. If I have to remind you, you’re going to wish you never met me. Now get out of my face,” I said bitchily.
He sighed and walked out, shutting the door behind him. I fell asleep almost immediately, but then I woke up in the middle of the night looking for my boo. He wasn’t there and I was annoyed at him for that. I crawled out of bed and padded to the living room where I found Brady sleeping on the couch with no pillow and no blanket.
“Brady!” I called. He didn’t wake up so I’m yelled his name so loud that the people upstairs probably heard me.
“What?” he said, rolling over groggily.
“Come to bed!”
Brady mumbled something I couldn’t quite make out and I grabbed his forearm tightly.
“Reese,” he said fully awake now. He tried to pull his arm out of my grasp, but I squeezed tighter.
“Come onnnn,” I whined. “Come snuggle with me.” I tried to pull him off the couch, but he pulled away hard.
“Stop! Get off me!” he said sternly.
I scoffed. “Ugh, what’s wrong with you?”
Brady realized how rude he was so he shook his head and said he was fine. I motioned for him to follow me then I skipped back to his room. I made him give me a foot massage because my sandals hurt my feet.
I woke up on Wednesday morning because Brady was up getting ready for work. He walked out of the closet tying his tie and I glared at him. I’m not sure why.
“What?” he asked like he was annoyed.
“I want a waffle,” I told him.
Brady just looked at me for a minute then checked his watch and said okay. When he came back with my yummy waffle topped with fruit, I asked him to feed it to me.
“Reese,” he groaned.
I snatched the plate and said, “Just kidding, jeez.”
Right before Brady left to go to work, I stopped him and said, “We need to talk.”
“Okay,” he said, glancing at his watch. “Right now?”
“Obviously not right now. I’ll let you know when. Bye!”
Brady didn’t talk to me all day Wednesday so I was even more annoyed with him. I finally met up with Kendra after work and all she wanted to talk about was her wedding and John and her parents. Literally I couldn’t get a word in at all. I let her talk though because she’s getting married soon and she deserves all the attention and blah blah blah.
On Thursday, Luke and I worked for a few hours then we told everyone we were going to do research around the city. Really, we were heading to the suburbs to go shopping. I was in the middle of a Nordstrom dressing room when Whitney texted me.
“Hey, are you close by?” she said.
“Not really. Why?” I replied.
“Someone is delivering flowers for you. Should I just sign?”
Ooo, flowers! I said, “Please.”
I knew they were from Brady, but a teeny tiny part of me was hoping that Devin really had changed his ways and was trying to win me back. Not that I would ever even consider thinking of possibly trying to date him again. Ew.
When I got back to the office I found a bouquet of red and pink roses on my desk. They were from Brady. And he sent a sweet one word card. I was kind of annoyed with him for the entire gesture.
Later that night when I got home, I texted him thanking him for the flowers. I was surprised when he sent me a really long text back. Basically he said that he loves and appreciates me and how he probably doesn’t deserve for me to forgive him, but he really hoped I would. It actually made me cry. I don’t understand why he even likes me. Especially after how I treated him for the past week.
I pulled myself together and told him that we should talk next week. He told me to just let him know when and I could tell he thinks I’m going to break up with him hence the flowers and texts and stuff.
I know I’m not going to break up with him though. Obviously. I know I’m crazy, but that’s bae. Last night I even bought us tickets to go to Houston next month. We will probably talk on Sunday after I party all weekend with my friends. Priorities.
78 thoughts on “i don’t understand why he even likes me.”
I literally felt sick reading this post. How do you even still have him as a boyfriend after the way you treat him?! If I was Brady I would have dumped you a long time ago. You’re not worth anything you put him through. Grow up Reese.
I agree with you. Love is a two way street. He fucked up. He’s apologized better than most men. If you love him, treat him like a man and accept him, faults and all. If you don’t, walk away with dignity for you both. The actions you are showing make you out to be a spoiled child. I think there is more to you than that.
Wow how awful. You’ve never been this terrible to him. And I’ve lost all respect for him for allowing you to treat him this way.
I really thought you had changed but the way you acted in the posts just shows you haven’t. He is only going to put up with so much before he gives up. You really are turning back into the spoiled child.
Devin is Matt all over again. Why are you texting with him? I mean the man was being disrespectful to you AND Brady at your friends wedding and sniffing coke. Then he sends you that half naked pic. This was just a few short weeks ago and he then says he has changed?! He’s full of shit and has not changed. Whatever happens between you and Brady, if you spend any more time on Devin, be it texts, the phone or (God forbid) in person, I predict it will end badly for you. You are on shaky ground with Brady right now and Devin’s presence will make things worse. No matter how seductive the attention of a man may be for feeding your self esteem, it’s all cotton candy. He’s a force for destruction and you need to cut him off completely. I think it would be a good exercise if he does text you again to reply with something like “I’ve thought about it and I have decided you were too much of a negative influence on my in the past for me to let you back into my life now. I need you to leave me alone.” Do you really want to be your college self again?
I agree you are being mean to Brady. If you want to get past this, you need to decide that you accept his apology and move on, or be direct and let him know you need some space until you can be civil to him. I mean really, Reese? Kicking him out of bed and then waking him up in the middle of the night? Demanding a waffle? You sound like a petulant preschooler in this post and not the grown woman I know you are. You’re mad–understandable, but you have to come to grips with your emotions somehow and stop his protracted tantrum you are having. Stop procrastinating (which I think you are because you are scared to talk to Brady, and this will be a hard conversation) and just do it. Talk to him. It will never get any easier, so just rip off the band aid and get it over with. You are better than the way you are behaving right now Reese. I say all this with respect because I have followed and commented on this blog for ages. I don’t like names or labels, but in this case, I can’t help it. You are being a brat to Brady. Time to put on your big girl pants and be a grownup to him.
Best. Comment. Ever. And it’s 100% true, unfortunately.
I can’t believe you kicked him out of his own room. Really, I can’t believe he LET you kick him out of his own room. If someone did that to me, I literally would have told them to get the fuck out of my house. 0.0
Everybody has got a breaking point, and I think you both are teetering on the edge. In MY opinion, your relationship has become toxic, because neither of you communicate well and he is secretic and closed off (most the time) and you are rebellious and vindictive. That is a bad mix.
Also, please don’t keeping doing this whole self-debracating act. It’s unneccesary and unattractive. You are in control of your own actions and emotions. If you cannot fathom why he would “even like you” then you need to really look at your actions and try to “right” them. YOU are in control. Don’t be *that* girl.
He is secretive* sorry, typo!
I’m pretty surprised by this post. I’m not 100% convinced your were as crazy as you made yourself out to be and I’m wondering if you were just upset when you wrote this and your writing is reflecting that. Either way, you’re being over the top punishing Brady and I hope you can move past all this be it by breaking up or moving forward with him and understanding that to do that, you have to quit punishing him. I hope you find the answers you’re searching for, though. (Side note: This stuff with the ex is a recipe for disaster. Tread carefully!)
I am so sick over how you treat this guy. I was really rooting for you, Reese. I can’t stand Brady and his lack of a pair but this was just waaaay out of line. Just break up with him already. You clearly don’t know what love is and you definitely don’t love him so just cut your losses and let the poor guy be. I feel so horrible for him
In my opinion, Brady is not innocent either. He doesn’t instill a lot of confidence in their relationship until it’s on the rocks, and even then he just sends a sappy text. I certainly don’t think Brady should be painted as the “victim” at all. Bad choices and actions have been made on BOTH sides.
I absolutely agree. I’ve been hoping they just end it. But the way that Reese treated him in this post is really truly horrible. And that’s not on anyone but her. Whether he’s guilty or not that gives Reese no right to be the way she was with him in this post. Just dump his sorry ass hah
I don’t think that’s very nice.
I had never said Brady was innocent nor did I even imply that he was innocent
What’s not very nice? That I think you deserve someone that would actually challenge you? You’ve said it yourself that it drives you crazy that Brady doesn’t stand up for himself and it seems (to me at least) that you’re unhappy with your relationship that’s why you keep pushing his buttons to see how far you can push him. That is really unhealthy and it isn’t making your relationship any better/happier.
I guess I just put myself too much in your shoes and I wouldn’t be able to deal with a guy like Brady. You seem like such a strong independent woman…why are you wasting your time? You keep reverting back to childish Reese with him. And you have throughout your whole relationship
to call Brady sorry and etc. despite all this he’s a really great person and he doesn’t set out to intentionally hurt anyone. and honestly I think I’ve matured a lot because of him. I was very immature and bratty and childish when I met him and I’ve changed a lot since being in a relationship with Brady. so if nothing else, he’s done that for me. I don’t think it’s necessary to bash him or call him names even if we don’t end up working out in the long run.
Okay I can respect that. I’m sure he’s a great guy but he doesn’t show it very well. I think he has a lot of issues (that stem from his upbringing) with communication and affection but he takes no initiative to work on them. Hence why I said he was ‘sorry’. But I don’t know him as a person and it was wrong of me to pass any judgment. Hopefully there will be some drastic changes between you two and both of you end up happy
Funny how you’re defending Brady now when posters call him sorry. You treat him like shit and make his life hell. You’re not perfect and have no right to act how you are. If Brady was the one treating you this way everyone would be calling him abusive. Sadly thats what you are. You’re incapable of treating him with respect and love. He deserves better than you. N
I do not make his life hell! how rude.
Yeah you do…hence why he broke up with you the first time
I have to say, I agree with bits and pieces of everyone’s posts above. I’m always on your side Reese but not this time. You’re playing games with him and that’s not fair to him.
I HATE what he did with Jessica, even though it was during the time you were broken up. You need to talk to him. He’s trying, but you won’t even see him except to have sex then leave/toss him out of his own bed. After that last night, if I were him, I would’ve tossed you out and stayed in bed.
You really can’t put off talking to him anymore. Make a decision. You want to be with him, you don’t want to be with him, or you just need time to figure it out alone. I’m not sure he’s the one for you… And I’m sad about that because I really want you to be happy!
This post makes me sad. I applaud you, Reese, for being so honest about your actions. Clearly, by the title of the post, you’re not happy with the way you acted. You and Brady need to talk about this now. Putting it off just furthers the divide and continues unhealthy actions. You love him. You don’t want to break-up. So, do both of you a favor and reconcile already.
I think everyone needs to calm their shit and be a little more understanding. Reese is hurt and she’s acting out. It’s not perfect, but personally, I think it’s understandable. My advice is just to talk to Brady, see if this relationship is worth it for you and if he’s willing to work with you to change what you need to change. All these bitchy comments about how you don’t deserve Brady are clearly just jealous that you have someone who loves you and is trying so hard to make things better. I hope you guys don’t break up, but more importantly, I hope you do what will make you happy in the long run. ❤️
People don’t need to calm down. Reese posts this blog knowingly that people will judge her, and at times I think we have opened her eyes.
I’m pretty sure even Reese knows how she behaved this week is not ideal. I agree with that Reese needs to make a decision and stop the games, it has been 2 weeks. In reality Reese slept with someone else too, I understand that this is about Jessica. Reese needs to talk with Brady, in reality I think it should be before Sunday (The priorities are wrong). Reese needs to apologize for her behaviour this week and explain that it’s how she deals with things and its wrong.
Because you’re perfect I’m guessing?
Lol. I honestly don’t think I said anything too harshly…im not sure how you assumed I took it as me thinking I’m perfect
I don’t think you were too harsh at all. I can take criticism.
You guys can condemn Reese all you’d like, but she’s a human being that just got her heart ripped out and stepped on. She has relationship/trust issues to begin with and then not only did this come up, but she was blind sided. Are there better ways to handle this? Most likely yes, but she’s in a position where she doesn’t know how to feel let alone what she wants. It’s hard to be in a place where you love someone so much, but can’t stand them because of something they did to you. Feelings and dealing with things take time to sort out and no one is perfect. Take your time, and take some time to yourself, to really sort out if you think this is something you can move past
I think you need to take a step back and look at your actions. Think of your best friend, would you act the same childish way with them? How about your boss at work? No? You should have the same level of respect for the person who you claim to love; so why do you act like that with him? Facts: Both of you slept with other people when you were broken up; who cares who it was with. You both made a CHOICE to try again, so maybe its time you actually try. Put on some big girl panties and have a real conversation with Brady and expect him to have a real conversation with you. If you can’t, then maybe you both have some growing up to do.
I’d like to point out that acting like this will very likely make him even less likely to be honest about things that might upset you in the future. Not saying whether it’s right or wrong, but history repeats itself, and he’s going to try to do everything in his power to avoid something like this happening again if you guys work things out. Hopefully that means that he just doesn’t do stupid shit in the future, but in the event he does, he may very well see being honest as a one way ticket to weeks of uncertainty and your anger.
I can’t say that I agree with how you are BOTH acting but I do think you guys can fix it. I think you push him hoping to get a reaction and then when he doesn’t give one, it drives you crazy. And not the good kind. Then I’m pretty sure he knows that you want a reaction so he does his best not to. When you have this talk, I would talk about EVERYTHING.
I know you were hurt but at some point you need to get over it or get out of it.. If you think you guys can work through your communication issues and your crazy emotions.. Talk about it, Yelling and bitchy comments aside.
I’m still rooting for you. I’m hoping that this was just a bad week and that you realize that maybe things really aren’t as they should be and that they need fixed. But I’m just an outsider. I wish you the best of luck Reese!
Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you think you’re pushing his buttons & subconsciously hoping that he snaps back at you so you have another reason to be mad?
I think this is sadly accurate. 😦
I agree with this assessment as well.
I think she’s snapping at him because subconsciously she knows they shouldn’t be together and she wants him to pull the plug. Brady keeps getting described as a “nice guy”, and I’m sure he is, but he also comes off as a doormat. Just because he’s a nice guy doesn’t automatically make him a good match for Reese. The sooner one of them recognizes this, the sooner they can both try to find someone they actually have a chance at having a healthy relationship with. Because this sh*t is toxic.
I don’t agree.
although I do think Brady is a bit of a doormat.
I think that it is putting the cart before the horse to say that Reese and Brady should break up. That is a decision that they would have to make and I am going to say out loud that I think cavalierly saying here in this forum that their relationship is dead is terrible “advice”. It’s easy to say that from a distance and with no emotional investment, but it smacks of people trying to play God in the personal lives of others. Just reading Reese’s responses, she is actively defending Brady over and over and what’s more she really put herself out there in an unflattering light because she is owning her own actions by writing this. Does this post make her look good? No, but I think she already knows that. Every comment I have read has called her on her actions.
What saddens me the most, Reese, is what I read (and have been reading in your last few posts) as your feelings of self-loathing. You are very fragile right now. You have had to contend with the whole Jessica debacle–basically getting caught up in the games of a person with serious issues. Add to that the insulting behavior of that woman Jen recently. You seem to be reeling with no way to re-anchor yourself. I think that is also why you are letting yourself be in contact with Devin. This is a state of mind that is familiar to you (one you have lived in your past) and as much as you hate being/feeling this way, you cling to it because of that familiarity. Time to try a different strategy. you ARE strong enough to do things differently here, and you now need to call on the self awareness you have created for yourself in the last year to face up to your personal issues–both internal (your hurt and anger) and external (your relationship with Brady).
If I have any more recommendations, it would be to stop reading any more of the comments for this post. It’s only been up for a while and there are already 30 comments as I type this. The last thing you need right now is for all the flaming going on to get under your skin and make you less able to rise above everything that has happened. As always, I am pulling for you, kiddo!
I was thinking the same thing. I think I know Reese enough to know this is like her defense mechanism (I think?). Maybe I’m wrong though. Things will get better once they talk for sure.
I know you’re not looking forward to that conversation but you need to push past it and get it done.. you already decided you don’t wanna break up, so what’s the hold up? – talk to him, hammer out the details of what’s going on in your relationship
at least you’re aware you were being horrible to him and he gets where you’re coming from and being patient and giving you your space to process so that’s good
& that Devin guy sounds like a tool, if Brady saw what he was texting you maybe he wouldn’t be so comfortable either – if you’re staying with Brady cut off Devin. he might have a bit more than friends in mind.
I hope you’re feeling better Reese! and that the talk with Brady goes well whenever you finally decide to talk
I really just want to say I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine how you feel. I know you know the way you acted isn’t okay so I’m not going to go through that again, we all deal differently. Someone mentioned that Brady doesn’t have a backbone. I disagree with that. My dad is the same way, he doesn’t like conflict and doesn’t like to discuss things so he ignores and he seems like a pushover. The thing about love is, when our partners have weaknesses like that it’s not for us to take advantage of that. So Brady may be this way and will probably never change so you shouldn’t push is limit or try to test him because even though he gives into your demands and doesn’t say anything he has feelings. It’s not fair to toy with that. You’re his partner and you should always build him up and not speak down to him. This is a messy situation and just awful so I understand that some of your old coping mechanisms are coming out but be mindful of that in the future. You’re partners.
And then in line with what everyone has said you need to talk to him. This has gone on for too long. Take the weekend if you want to. Think about what you’re feeling and what you want to say to him and what message you really want to get across (maybe write it down). Let him know how much this hurt you (boys tend to see things on the surface and he may not understand why you’re reacting this way considering he didn’t cheat). Get those answers we discussed in the last post from him. Put everything on the table. Decide if/ how you want to move forward and then talk to your boyfriend. Apologize to him for your actions too. A relationship can’t last if you don’t talk so y’all better start trying to get used to it. If y’all move on from this the one thing I will say is don’t repeat the past. You both need to make an effort to grow together and fix things together. You’ve been together for about a year now so these games have got to end. Be conscious of your actions. And remind each other when you begin to slip into old habits. Proud of you for listening to Kendra. Have fun this weekend doll.
I think you need to sit back and examine what about the situation is making you act like that? Is it that he slept with Jessica or is it that she rubbed it in your face?
I really wish you would sit down and talk to him instead of going out this weekend. It’s like I say we are not all perfect and he made a terrible mistake, I can’t believe he let her into his bed. But he really had no idea you guys would get back together. Would you have slept with Kyle if you thought there was a chance you would get back together with Brady? Think about how Brady would feel if he found out you slept with Kyle, or how he would feel if he knew you were talking to your ex again?
Relationships are hard, we make mistakes but if you really love each other then you forgive & forget. Of course talk about it, don’t hide your feelings from him, you are entitled to feel however you want to feel but you shouldn’t be mean to him just because you can.
I’m rooting for you Reese, I know you are a great person, sometimes you let your emotions run the show and don’t stop to think about others. But you can do it, you can put his feelings first and I’m sure you’ll be able to move on from this if you do it.
PS: if I were Brady I would’ve told you to eff off a long time ago. I think that shows that he feels really bad about what he did, but don’t take advantage of that. Be kind.
Oh Reese! No no no!! I think you took it too far and you have a small apology to do. If you want a long term, serious relationship with him, you need to give him respect. If you don’t think he deserves it, then you shouldn’t be with him. No one deserves to be disrespected this much for some thing that he is so sorry for. He has been making the effort and letting you direct how this goes, but he didn’t deserve this disrespect. I honestly feel bad for him now.
I’m a little confused why everyone is so suprised by this post? Not to say it’s ok, but isn’t this type of behavior just Reese’s personality?
Let’s hope Brady doesn’t tell his friend again how you’ve been acting. You might get a hired hit out on you! lol. In all seriousness, I agree with some of the posters that I’m disappointed with how you’ve been acting. I know you’re upset with him sleeping with Jessica, but this is really immature behavior. If you have no intentions of breaking up with Brady but want him to think you do, that is quite mean. If you want to keep him, you need to stop playing these childish games because one of these days he’s going to get fed up and you’ll lose him for good.
Reese, I think it’s clear that you know the way you have been treating Brady is wrong. Your anger is justified in my opinion but how you deal with that anger missed the mark. In the future when you feel your anger building and you know you are on the verge of doing something to lash out please stop yourself for a minute and ask yourself one question, would you want to be treated that way? If the answer is no then please find a way to control yourself.
Because actually talking with Brady and having a meanful conversation face to face is a major sticking point consider starting in another format. Consider both of writing a letter to the other person about what you want in and from a partner and in and from a relationship. Then sit down together and read the letters and have a conversation about the content of them. This could even be an email you each send to each other prior to face to face talking so both of you have time to process what the other person said.
I agree with other people in that your relationship seems to be on the verge of something bad. You have to be proactive about releasing some of that tension in a non hurtful way before it explodes. Before you and/or Brady explode.
Brady does come across as a doormat with you but consider this for a moment, if that man loves you enough to allow you to treat him that manner and still wants to spend time with you maybe you should spend more time showing Brady how much you appreciate that…….
on an off topic I really cannot fking believe (some of) your doctors/nurses in the states and their unprofessionalism when it comes to women’s birth control wtf
Do you think that because Brady is so passive that you’re trying to evoke some kind of reaction out of him? I think he’s been so go with the flow that your almost like, poking him with a stick wondering if he’s alive. He loves you (that’s apparent) and is passionate about you (which is good for both of you😉) but when it comes to expressing his feelings and hashing it out he doesn’t. He’s almost diplomatic about it. You know that the passion is there but don’t know how to get him on that level where you feel equal. It was the same with my BF I had to push and poke and freak out just to get him to show me something other than passiveness. If you guys keep fighting for your relationship you will make it. 😉
This post made me so sad. I feel like you’re going back to how you were before. You were doing so well, and acting like an adult! I’m so sad to see you go a few steps back from where you were! You need to really consider what it is that you want to do with your life in your relationship. At some point, everyone gets fed up, and Brady WILL leave if this continues. I’m really rooting for you and Brady, because I can tell that you guys truly do love each other. But you can’t continue treating him like this. First of all, you’re a grown woman and need to act like one. You shouldn’t be kicking him out of his own bed, then surprised when he actually leaves. Second, you made the same mistake when you hooked up with someone else when you and Brady broke up. Although I can imagine how you feel, I think that you need to be a little bit more understanding and think about your own actions. I would feel the same way that you do if I found out that my boyfriend did something like that. But think about this. Who should you be mad at. Him for hooking up with someone when you were broken up, or the bitch who’s messaging you about the hook up. She’s trying to start trouble. And you’re giving into it. It may be possible that she’s just waiting for the moment that you and Brady go on another break, and she’ll slink her skanky ass in. Treat Brady like you would want him to treat you in that situation. Brady has been more than understanding with you at many points during this blog. Give him the same respect and courtesy. I love reading your blog, you seem like you’re a great girl, and we’re from the same city! I am hoping that you and Brady can work everything out, but please try to treat him a little bit better. Please try to think before you act. I would hate to see you self-sabotage your relationship.
I wish I could give you a hug. You are a strong, smart, amazing being with a beautiful heart. Don’t let this experience take any of that away from you. Trust your gut. Face the shit you fear most. And be kind. To yourself. And Brady. You’ve got this Reese💚
thank you! you’re so sweet.
Reese, I’m a long time reader and first time commenter. I agree with a lot of what was said above. Especially the comment about you intentionally causing problems to get a rise out of Brady to make him react back. I think it’s rude and judgmental to call him a doormat, but from the way you portray him in your posts he does seem to lack a lot of the qualities I feel you are looking for in a partner (hence you pushing his buttons so often). I really think you ought to have a proper conversation with him, not under the influence of anything, and think about what you both want from the relationship. If that means you go your separate ways so be it, but at least there will be a maturity about it. Good luck!
Oh Reece. Brady really loved you, doesn’t he. I rarely think guys would accept to be treated that way. I’m not sure how I would act in that situation but I usually like making people angry too which I think you were trying to do?
I didn’t read all the comments above mine but the ones I did I agree with, I can’t believe the way you treated Brody
Omg. I’m saying this out of serious concern for you. Please go to therapy. Real therapy. Not blog-commenter therapy. See a real, licensed and experienced therapist who can help you work through this obvious emotional turmoil you are dealing with. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to do so but you can afford it. Do it for the sake of your friends and relationships, your boyfriend, but first and foremost do it for YOU. This blog has been entertaining up until this point but now, I’m seriously concerned for you… Please, just make an appointment and see where it leads. 💚
I know this is probably a good idea, but I’m really skeptical of therapists because my mom is one and I know for a fact that she can’t help (or anyone else for that matter). I’ve been in therapy before and I didn’t like it and it definitely didn’t help me with my issues. but it I found a good one maybe things would be different. I’m willing to give it a try though.
I see… I think one of the good ( best!) developments in recent years is online references for pretty much anyone and everything. This could be a good way of finding a highly professional and amazing therapist. Here’s a link with some initial guidelines and tips for things that are good to keep in mind when deciding on a therapist. http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-01-18/health/sc-health-0118-therapist-20120118_1_therapist-practice-executive-director
Good luck babe!
Even though he made some awful choices recently, it seems like Brady really loves you. Hope you guys can find some balance and become comfortable in your relationship again!
Long time reader, first time commenter.
If all of this is true, I think it’s really brave of you to put it out there like that. I know personally that if something like this happened in my life, there’s no way I would have the guts to write about it and let people judge me for it. So for that, I think you should be proud of yourself.
In regards to everyone on here, I think you should really stop shaming and insulting Reese. Nothing will come of it. She can’t go back and change what she did. Yeah I don’t agree with the way she treated him, but it’s clear she already feels awful and you don’t need to make her feel worse.
As for what happened, I agree you need to talk to him. And not a little talk. I mean a serious talk. Like go-get-some-tissues-cause-this-is-going-to-take-a-while talk. You need to say everything you’re feeling and also let HIM say everything. You might not like what he has to say but you should still hear him out. Honestly I think Brady is so terrified of losing you cause he loves you so much that he doesn’t speak up cause he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. If you let him know it’s safe for him to open up, then he will. If you really want to change, like you say you want to, you will take what he has to say and use it to change your own actions.
This is so cliche but only you can change you, Reese. No one else.
P.S – sorry it was so long but after not commenting for a really long time, I have a lot to say lol
I don’t understand the double standard with you Reese. You kept talking with the plane guy after Brady told you not to, you’re texting your ex, you have sex with Carly’s brother multiple times during the breakup and you do your own thing most of the time. Brady has been controlled by you, you tell him who to speak with, how to act and what to do. If he doesn’t listen you throw a tantrum. You don’t do anything besides sex to show your love for him at all. He has sex with Jessica once during the breakup and you’re going out of your way to make him feel the lowest type of person. You berate him, kick him out of his own bed, get pissed because he left and then drags him back into his own bed. What type of person treats someone like this? You call this love? Brady should have manned up and thrown you out of his apartment and not put up with this bullshit. You want a relationship but don’t know the first thing about love and relationships. You can defend Brady all you want but your actions show how you really feel. His friends are right about you. You should cut him loose and let him find a woman that brings him happiness. You’re too concerned with yourself and your own feelings to ever think of or put Brady first. It’s a shame that he seems to think he deserves this treatment. I feel sorry for Brady. He needs a friend to tell him he doesn’t have to put up with the abuse.
you don’t have to feel sorry for him, he’s okay. 🙂
Sure Reese because being fine means putting up with degrading behavior. You keep telling yourself he’s fine. He will never tell you if he isn’t because he’s scared of you.
scared of me? because I’m big and intimidating and could kick his ass. I’m sure he’s really frightened!
Reese clearly your too self absorbed to comprehend. He’s scared that you’d throw your tantrums and treat him worse like the scum under your shoe. You can act clueless all you want. Everyone has a breaking point and it’s only a matter of time before he gets tired of this.
if I treat him so bad then why is he with me? it’s not like he’s afraid to dump me if he wants, he’s done it before.
In that case then you keep doing what you’ve been doing since I’m clearly mistaken and all your antics are displays of love. Maybe I need to start using you as an example and treat my fiancé like you treat Brady. Reese you’re a lost case. Maybe one day you’ll come to your senses and try to change. I use to root for you but you’re intent on self destruction. I wish you well but can’t continue reading about such Deplorable behavior.
Is this a deal breaker? If the answer is yes, move on. If the answer is no, forgive and forget. You’re a smart girl and from what I get from your blog you are far too pretty to be wearing all this drama.
My unsolicited observation, you guys haven’t fully committed to the relationship. Both of you have made decisions that you know will hurt the other, intentional or not. When you truly commit, you would never want to cause hurt or embarrassment to your partner.
My unsolicited advice, if you guys are serious about getting married one day, love each other with more respect. Share more, support unconditionally and remove people in your lives who can’t respect your relationship.
when both of us did what we did we were broken up and had no idea that we would eventually get back together. I was upset and shocked when I found out about Jessica but I realized that he didn’t do it to hurt me or anything like that. so I’ve forgiven him.
I have never commented on this blog before, but I have read it for quite a while. I know you own that you are selfish, but damn, all the shit you have been pulling is just messed up. Yes, he screwed Jessica. We get it. You treat him like a dog. You did even before he messed up. Now some people’s relationships work like that. Maybe he gets off on it. I have to wonder if he isn’t going to get tired of all the groveling and ass kissing that he has to do on a regular basis. I can understand why his one friend (Jenny?) spoke to you the way she did. A friend wants to see another friend happy with the one they are with. It seems like you guys go from one issue to another, and Brady is the one who has always has to back down. I also think that alcohol play a really big part in this, but that’s another story. Anyway, that’s my 2 cents. Take it for what it’s worth. mum
I did treat him like shit for the past couple of weeks and I feel terrible about it. how did I treat him like a dog before that though? I completely disagree.