my boyfriend is a man whore.

I went out with Preston and company on Friday night. We went to some bars in River North and basically drank for free because everyone wanted to buy us shots and drinks. By the time we were ready to call it a night, I was stumbling and complaining about missing my boyfriend. I was probably being “that girl” and getting on everyone’s nerves, but whatever. Naturally, I had my Uber driver take me to Brady’s. He was actually still awake and sitting on the couch watching tv when I got there.

“Babyyyyyyyy,” I exclaimed and threw myself on top of him of him. He started to hug and kiss me, but I jumped up and pulled him off the couch.

I led him to the bedroom and started taking off my clothes and got in bed, hoping he would follow suit. He climbed on top of me and we started kissing like we hadn’t seen each other in months. Suddenly Brady got up and reached in the nightstand for a condom. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his waist and guided him into me before he could even get it on. Apparently I was sick of making him use them.

We proceeded to have two of the best sex sessions that we’ve probably ever had. I was pretty drunk, but it was amazing.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I was naked and sticky and could barely open my mouth. I felt like shit. Brady was next to me, still sleeping. I climbed over him and went to the bathroom to shower. An hour and a half later, I emerged feeling like a new person. Brady was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me to come out.

“Hey,” I said.

He looked up at me and said, “Hey,” back.

It seemed like we hadn’t had a normal conversation in weeks so neither of us knew what to say. I figured we should probably talk though especially now that we were both sober and willing to be nice to each other.

“Let’s go to breakfast,” I suggested and Brady nodded.

We got dressed in silence then went to a place not far from Brady’s. We had to wait a few minutes for our table to be ready and while we sat on one of the benches waiting, I said, “I’m really sorry about the way I’ve treated you the past few weeks.” I guess I just wanted to get that out of the way right away.

Brady looked up at me and looked super surprised. “It’s okay.”

“No it isn’t,” I said. “You should really call me out when I act like that.”

He laughed. “Okay.”

“Why are you laughing?” I asked, confused.

“Because you don’t allow anyone to call you out. Especially me,” he explained.

Before I could clarify what that was supposed to mean, the host came and informed us that our table was ready. They put us in a booth and I was being kind of needy and didn’t want to leave Brady’s side so we sat on the same side of the booth. Brady pretended it was normal.

He ordered waffles and stuff, but since I’m on a diet I ordered an egg white and spinach omelette from the kids menu and one slice of turkey bacon. Brady asked if I was sure that was all I wanted and I glared at him.

After our waiter went to put in our order, I said, “I’m just having a hard time getting the mental picture of you and Jessica out of my head.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at the table and not at me.

“I talked to her, you know. We messaged on Facebook.”

“Oh.”

“She’s a bitch.”

“Yeah.”

I touched the side of Brady’s face and and made him look at me. “You agree that she’s a bitch?”

“Well, her actions have proven that she kind of is, right?” he replied.

“Absolutely,” I agreed. “So what happened after you had sex with her?”

“What do you mean?”

“It seems like you both dislike each other now…”

Brady shrugged. “I don’t dislike her, but I would prefer not to speak to her.”

“Why?”

“Because I have no reason to,” he said.

I didn’t say anything because I was irritated at him for not having a reason. Whatever. I was done talking about her. Time to talk about us.

“I just want you to know that I’m not upset at you for doing something with someone while we were broken up because I did too. I was just hurt that it was her and I had to find out from her,” I explained. 

Brady looked taken aback. I think he debated with himself for a moment before saying, “You did?”

“Of course I did,” I grinned. “Are you kidding? Guys were falling at my feet when they found out I was single.”

“Oh.” Brady looked back down at the table.

I hugged him and said, “Love you.”

After our food came we ate in silence for a little bit. Brady offered me some of his waffle and I told him I was fine. Then he cut a little square off and put it on my plate. I glared at him as I ate it. It was phenomenal.

I watched him take a bite of his food then I said, “Brady, I want to ask you something and I want you to be 100% honest with me, please.”

He nodded.

“Do you actually see our relationship going anywhere or are you just having fun?” I asked, using Aunt Kat’s phrase.

I started to panic a little bit when Brady didn’t respond right away, but then I realized he was still chewing. Even though he was probably chewing slowly to buy some time.

“I hope our relationship goes somewhere. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t think it would,” he answered. Then cautiously he asked, “Why do you ask?”

“I guess I’m just thinking about how your mom doesn’t think we have anything in common and now I’m wondering why we are together,” I said.

“I love being around you. I’m almost certain we could do anything together and enjoy ourselves. We have a ton of fun even when we’re just sitting on the couch watching tv. We rarely get tired of each other. And for that reason, I don’t think it’s really necessary to have a lot in common.”

I looked at Brady like this :D. It was such a sweet thing to say.

“How come you don’t tell me anything?” I asked.

“I do tell you things,” Brady said with his brow furrowing.

I shook my head. “You didn’t tell me you had the opportunity to go to Africa for two months!”

“I didn’t see any reason to because I decided not to go!”

“But don’t you think it’s a big enough thing that I would want to know? Or am I just so shallow that you didn’t think I would care?” I asked. Before Brady could say anything I continued. “I do care about things other than clothes and alcohol. I know it’s hard to believe.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to keep you more informed from now on,” he said.

“It’s not even just that. You started talking to Hunter again and didn’t even tell me. That’s a huge fucking deal. Why wouldn’t you tell me that? I had to find out for myself.”

“I’m sorry. I thought I told you.”

My mouth dropped open because I was so dumbfounded. “Brady, you know you didn’t tell me that. You don’t tell me anything. Almost everything I know about you, I have to find out myself. You’re so secretive and private. I should know everything about you! It makes our relationship feel so superficial when you don’t tell me what’s going on in your life!”

Brady’s neck started turning red. “I’m sorry.”

“I just wish you’d be more open with me,” I said after taking a deep breath to calm myself.

“I’ll try harder to do that,” he said.

We were silent as we continued eating and drinking our OJ. I thought about what Brady said about us not needing to have anything in common. I actually loved what he said and decided that I agreed completely. We balance each other out.

“One more question,” I said after several minutes.

“Okay,” Brady nodded, not looking up at me.

“Do you actually want to get married?”

“I don’t want to right now, but eventually, yes. I would love to.”

“To me?”

Brady looked at me and laughed. “Uh, yes. To you.”

“Really?” This was obviously the answer I was expecting, but hearing him say it made me squeal.

“If you’d be willing to put up with me forever,” he said.

“Not if you don’t ever tell me anything,” I rolled my eyes.

We stayed at the restaurant for another hour talking. I forced him to open up and talk to me. I made him tell me about Africa and why he decided not to go. I made him tell me about Hunter and where he was for six months. I asked him what his parents had to say about my parents. I asked him what he likes most about me. I was kind of interrogating him, but in a nice way. And right after he paid the bill, I made him promise that he wasn’t going to keep anything from me anymore and he said he would try really hard to be more open.

After we left the restaurant, Brady needed to go into work for a few hours. Annoying. So he let me keep his car while he worked. I’m actually really surprised he did because the last time I drove his car, I had a bit of an accident. He’s since gotten it fixed though.

I ended up going to Kendra’s to hang out with her. She had no idea what was going on with me and Brady and I decided not to tell her because we were past it. Plus, there was no reason to talk about such a negative thing when she’s so excited about her wedding. She’s getting married in like two months. Isn’t that insane? I thought she planned on having a long engagement, but I feel like they kind of rushed it.

Kendra kept mentioning how much stuff she had to do and how busy she was so I took that as her nicely asking me to leave. So I went back to Brady’s and waited for him to tell me to pick him up. To my surprise though, while he was at work he texted me: “You don’t have to answer this, but did you actually sleep with someone while we were broken up?”

“Do you really want to know?” I texted back.

“If you want to tell me.”

I debated with myself for a moment. He gave me the option of not telling him, but if I wanted him to be honest with me then I had to be honest with him. So I said, “I did.”

Brady just said, “Okay.”

And then I said, “It was Carly’s brother. That’s why she was so mad at me.”

Brady didn’t text back and then I fell asleep. I kept my phone right next to my head though so I could hear if he called or texted me. But he ended up coming home and climbing on top of me in the bed. I actually started to scream because I was so confused but then Brady laughed and kissed me.

“I missed you,” I said, still half asleep.

“I missed you, too,” he said as he started undressing me. And then we hooked up and Brady didn’t mention Kyle at all.

On Sunday we slept in then ordered lunch from GrubHub because we are lazy. We hooked up and I came like three times because Brady is so good. Afterwards, I realized that he is really good in bed for a reason. So I asked him how many sexual partners he’s had.

“God, Reese,” he groaned.

“What?” I asked innocently. “It’s just a question. And you promised you’re going to be more open with me.”

Brady looked like he regretted telling me that.

“Just tell me. I honestly don’t care,” I encouraged him.

And then Brady told me. Well, he didn’t tell me an exact number. He gave me a range which I feel like means he probably can’t even remember all his sexual partners. And I’m not a saint at all by any stretch of the imagination and it was literally over twice (almost three times) as many people as I’ve been with.

I gasped. “What? Seriously?”

He didn’t say anything.

“That’s so gross. I’m honestly shocked,” I went on.

“What? I was different in college. It was a phase,” he defended himself.

“I went to the biggest party school in America and even I haven’t slept with that many people!” I exclaimed.

Brady looked down and I realized that I was being a judgmental bitch. “But I suppose it’s different because I’m a girl. How old were you when you lost your virginity?” I added.

“I was sixteen. You?” Brady said, looking back at me.

“Eighteen. Who did you lose it to?” I asked.

Brady looked like he wanted to die. “I seriously don’t want to talk about this, Reese.”

I realized that I didn’t either so I changed the subject. Later on once the sun was setting we decided to go for a run. Three fucking miles. When we got back I was drenched in sweat, but I had that post workout glow. I decided to document it for some of my Snapchat boys (do y’all have a bunch of meaningless boys you Snap selfies to just to get compliments?). I sat on Brady’s bed taking a selfie that included my face and body and Brady said, “Who are you sending that to?”

His tone sounded accusatory so I said, “What?” innocently.

“Who are you sending that picture to?” he repeated.

“It’s for Snapchat,” I explained and showed him my phone. The picture was already sent so the screen was the list of guys I’d sent it to.

“Seriously? You took a picture with your boobs and body all out like that and sent it to a dozen guys?”

I was wearing a pair of Nike Pro shorts and a sports bra because I’d stripped as soon as we got inside. Obviously I’d made sure my workout outfit was in the picture because that was the point.

“It was mostly just my face. And I set it for only three seconds so they won’t even have a chance to see my body,” I said.

“What’s the point of that anyway?” he asked.

“Snapchat? It’s fun. You should get it,” I enthused.

“I don’t want it and I don’t see why you have it especially if you’re sending pictures like that. Is that the kind of stuff they send you too?”

“It’s mostly just food and stuff.”

“That’s stupid.”

So I deleted Snapchat. Especially because one of the first responses I got was a shirtless pic from a guy that said, “Why don’t we ever work out together?” I never realized that my interactions on Snapchat could be considered inappropriate because I hardly ever even see any of those guys and the pictures last less than ten seconds. But I deleted it and I don’t even miss it. Yet.

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38 thoughts on “my boyfriend is a man whore.

  1. I agree that you don’t really need to have a lot of things in common. It’s definitely more important to have shared values and to know the other person’s thought process. J and I actually have really different tastes in a lot of things, and it’s never really been an issue.

    I wouldn’t stress about the number thing, although I know that’s pretty rich coming from me. A number goes up by one whether you have a one-night stand or a really long & committed relationship. In the end, it is just a number and it doesn’t have too much bearing on anything.

      • Ashley says:

        My boyfriend and I have never had the numbers conversation. Granted, we’re both in our early thirties so we’ve had a bit more time to rack up some numbers. However, I just don’t want to know. What’s in the past, is past.

      • Ana says:

        Mine too!! Lol sometimes you can be oblivious as well Reese because you think it’s innocent but you don’t know what the person on the receiving end might think. But what matters is that you realized why Brady didn’t think it was okay- hence why you deleted it! You don’t have to, you just have to more careful about your actions πŸ˜„

      • I guess I was a little bit oblivious about snapchat. I literally thought it was innocent and harmless until Brady caught me taking that picture.

  2. Bethany says:

    Can I just say best post ever, you and Brady are adorable.

    I am glad you told him how you felt about everything that was worrying you and how you felt about being in the dark… You may not have a ton in common but I am sure it is weekends like this one that make him worth your while.
    I would not stress about the number thing though.

    Can’t wait for the details of Kendra’s wedding cannot believe it is so soon.

  3. I’m so happy you and Brady finally talked! You two are seriously adorable. And I’m even happier that he finally grew some balls and told you that the snaps were making him mad.. I feel like the old Brady would have just walked away without speaking his mind.

  4. Ashley says:

    I’m really glad you guys finally talked. I think you and Brady certainly have a strange-but-it-works compatibility. I would stay off of Snapchat, especially as you’re using it to get compliments from boys. You would not like it if Brady did it, so it’s a no go. Plus, it’s a false self-esteem booster. We are all worth more than the likes we get, ya know?

    The old Brady wouldn’t have even said anything about Snapchat, so it’ll be interesting to see if he continues to stick up for himself a little bit. No offense, but he kind of needs to as you can totally be a runaway train who can easily steam over him. Notice I did not say trainwreck!

  5. Luita says:

    Yay, im so glad you talked to him and that you apologized. You guys are adorable! He can seem so clueless sometimes, but he’s a good guy and he loves you.
    I’m glad he called you out on the snapchat thing, I would be too scared to do that because they can do screen captures, so you never know who could have one of your pix (I’m paranoid over everything on social media!). Glad you deleted it for him, in relationships you do things like that to make each other happy.
    What about the ex, are you still texting him?

  6. Danielle says:

    So proud of you for talking to him about feelings and stuff! You got him to open up which was great and hopefully that’ll continue. I’m glad you guys are going to try to communicate better. My heart melted when he was talking about not needing a lot in common. He’s so perf, I wish I had that.
    Also, the snapchat thing, not the best idea, but you clearly know that, hence why you deleted it. It prob showed Brady you really do take his feelings into account. πŸ™‚

  7. Nico says:

    Best post in ages!!! I was kinda bummed out after that last post, but this more than made up for it!! I’m so glad you guys talked. Good for you. πŸ‘

  8. e says:

    so happy for you and Brady!😍

    and so proud of you for finally grilling Brady and having the talk! and for getting his pov and getting rid of snapchat and your fanboys haha

  9. Y says:

    That boy loves you. Great post. Y’all keep working at this. No one’s perfect. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that as long as you make each other happy and are willing to own up to your shit when you’re wrong, there’s still something to fight for.

  10. kelseyxsays says:

    Isn’t that the saying — opposites attract??? They don’t say it for nothin’.

    Glad you and Brady talked. Maybe this can be a fresh start. So long as you don’t keep bringing up the past; ya know….like all his past sexual conquests. hahahahahaha. Died. πŸ™‚

    But, now I really want to know how many people he said he’s slept with. LOL

      • kelseyxsays says:

        Ohh! Tell tell tell!! Hahah! I keep thinking it’s like 200 people. Please don’t tell me it’s 200 people. Haha πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

      • kelseyxsays says:

        Oh thank GOD. Hahaha I mean. That’s still a LOT. Haha, but I was expecting more somehow πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I’m kind of relieved. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      • Danielle says:

        I was totally wondering, but didn’t want to ask! Thats a lot of people. I’m like you! Couldn’t think of that many people that id want to have sex with!

    • Ashley says:

      I was thinking the number was way higher than that. Like 75+. That’s still a lot, but no where near Wilt Chamberlin numbers.

      • Ashley says:

        Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still think that’s a lot. Like, if my boyfriend told me that number I would think “Geez, man-whore!” just as you. I’m guessing Brady is right around your age (25-26), and his number is 4x more than mine (I’m 32). So, yeah. I actually just wrote down my list. Definitely wish I could cross some of those names off of there! But, that’s 15 years of having sex for ya!

  11. tuulipu says:

    Wow. My bf and I had that talk after about a year of being together. He was a lot like Brady closed off and stuff.. hopefully Brady will be a little more open now! Mt bf and I are eight years strong now!

    And your thing about snap chat made me laugh cuz me and my bf had the exact same fight like two days ago!! Snap chat is totally inappropriate sometimes. πŸ™ŠπŸ™ŠπŸ™Š

  12. Girl, cannot tell you how proud of you I am right now! Really! You showed how grown up you’re getting and it’s amazing. Brady seems to be trying real hard too, which is also real good. Hope you guys do get married ❀

  13. Sara says:

    That sounds like it was a great talk. You really said a lot that needed to be said, and you owned your behavior. I think the key to your relationship with Brady is that he says you have fun together no matter what you two do.That’s a big deal–being able to really enjoy your SO’s company. I know plenty of couples with a lot in common but nothing to say to each other, so I’d say you were ahead of the game. It seems like the next best step is to continue the positive communication momentum you started and basically have a good time together.

  14. Alyssa says:

    So something I learned at a training seminar, SnapChat doesn’t actually delete your photos. They keep them in a database. It was created to be the ultimate sexting app. They sell all the naked pics that get taken overseas to the highest bidder. Teaching social media safety to teens is part of my job. Just thought I would throw this info out there. Glad you deleted it.
    Glad to see you two open up and communicate honestly for a change. If only I could get my husband to do that. He’s so closed up and private, it makes me crazy!!!

  15. Why does it matter how many people he has slept with? All that should matter is that he doesn’t have an STD or HIV/AIDS and that he is in a relationship with you now, not any of the girls he has slept with. Everyone has a past, including you. And honestly, some of the stories you have told us from your college days are much worse than Brady sleeping around. My ex asked me once how many guys I had been with, and at the time it was only like 4-5, and when I told him he started calling me a whore and a slut and just all kinds of mean names. From that point on I made the decision that I will never have that conversation with a boyfriend again. What we did before being in a relationship together is insignificant. I do have to say that I am proud of you for catching yourself when you started getting upset about his number. That is a big step for you!

    And I do think that you and Brady compliment each other and once you work out your issues ya’ll will have such a great relationship. All relationships hit rough patches and that’s the point where you decide if you can or can’t see yourself with that person for the rest of your life. And if you can’t, you break up and quit making each other miserable. But I have a feeling that you guys will work through it and end up in a blissfully happy marriage where you have learned how to effectively communicate with one another. I am excited to keep reading about you guys!!

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