Brady said I’m the most selfish person he’s ever met. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was. But it did inspire me to be better. No one wants to hear that, especially from the person who they are supposed to marry.

I told him that I think I should move out and we should just do our own thing for a while. And he said, “I don’t care what you do, Reese. You are going to do what you want regardless of what I think anyway. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met.”

But let me backtrack. We’d already had prior plans to go to Massachusetts for Brady’s dad’s party the weekend after the election. Luckily we were talking more and neither of us even mentioned canceling. On the flight there, Brady talked a lot about work and how stressful and exciting it’s been. It was nice that he was actually talking to me and telling me about his life because I can’t even remember the last time he did that. Usually it’s “hello” and “goodbye” and “I’m going to pick up dinner, do you want anything?”

Brady’s parents sent a car to pick us up from the Boston airport because they’d be arriving after us. So it was weird to be in Brady’s parents house without them. Like even quieter and spookier. And I was freaked out that his mom had hidden cameras everywhere and was watching us remotely for ammo to use against me later. I don’t know.

Brady found a bottle of whiskey and made Old Fashioneds.

“Hunter’s coming. He will be here tomorrow,” Brady said as he next to me at the island. “Last minute decision. Dom and the kids are staying home.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I’m surprised. He hates coming here more than you do.”

Brady shrugged. “I’m sure he just needs an escape.”

I had some snide remarks I wanted to say, but maturity. I nodded. “What time do you think your parents will get here?”

He said, “Probably soon.”

It was about 8:30 at that time so we sat at the island and had a couple more drinks for the next hour. We were happy and tipsy when we noticed lights pulling into the driveway.

“They’re here!” I squealed, as if that was anything to be excited about.

Brady stood up and started cleaning up our cups and the liquor and I stood up to greet the parents at the door.

Brady’s mom opened the door and looked startled to see me.

“Hi, welcome home,” I said and giggled.

She just scowled at me. Brady’s dad followed her in behind the driver who had their luggage.

“Hello! How are you?” the dad said, immediately pulling me into a hug. Such a nice guy.

Brady joined us in the foyer and his mom immediately began questioning him. I could tell Brady was drunk and annoyed because he began mumbling answers and rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll make you a cup of tea?” I said to Brady’s parents.

His mom raised her eyebrows at me and walked past us toward the kitchen. Guess not.

The four of us sat around the island for a little while talking. Brady’s mom mostly just asked Brady about work and nodded proudly at how well he’s doing. There was a short lull in the conversation and Brady’s dad cut in and said, “What’s new with you, Reese? Is work going okay?”

“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Things must be more than okay if you’ve stayed this long,” Brady’s mom said cutting her eyes toward me.

Little does she know that I’ve been low key browsing job boards just to see what’s out there.

I slept downstairs in my little dungeon room that night and for the first time, I didn’t sneak up to Brady’s room and he didn’t sneak down to me. So I read on my tablet until I fell asleep.

The next morning, Brady and I took one of the cars to Boston to pick Hunter up from the airport. On the way back, we stopped to get alcohol to get us through the day and night. Obviously we’d need it.

We all went to dinner in the city before the party that night. I could tell Brady’s mom disapproved of my midi bodycon dress, but I didn’t even care because I looked cute and she doesn’t matter anymore. It was Hunter’s turn to be on the hot seat as their parents grilled him about his work and Dom and the kids.

Eventually Hunter said, “Everything is fine. The wife is fine. The babies are fine. It’s cool. Chill.”

I smirked at him. Brady would literally never dismiss his mother like that, but I wish he would.

Also for the first time, Anna was not at the party. I asked Brady if she was going to be there when we walked in and he said, “Uh, I don’t know actually. I think she’s traveling this month.”

Ever since our little rendezvous, I noticed that Brady and Anna stopped talking as much. She still emailed him and stuff, but his responses were short if he even responded at all.

I looked out for her a little bit when we first got there, but forgot about her as we started drinking.

Brady announced that he needed to go to the restroom and I told him I’d go with him because I’m just annoying like that. It was a single stall and I touched up my makeup while Brady did his business. When he was finished, I confronted him about us being on a break.

“Honestly, I think breaks are stupid and I don’t believe in them. So either you want to break up or not,” I said.

He shrugged as he washed his hands.

And that’s when I brought up the whole moving out thing. I honestly did think it’s probably best that I move out, but I also just wanted to gauge his reaction. And that’s when he called me selfish.

“How am I selfish? What else am I supposed to do?” I exclaimed.

“I don’t care. Do whatever you want, Reese,” Brady said and then he walked out.

I stayed in the bathroom for a little while, texting Kendra. She was complaining about being pregnant and the baby and I felt ridiculous for being drunk and fighting with Brady. Like, will I ever grow up? So I didn’t mention it.

I went back out to the party and found Brady and Hunter. Brady didn’t even look at me.

“There you are, little lady. We’re headed to the bar,” Hunter said.

And I didn’t really have a choice, but go with them. What else was I supposed to do, stay at the party and hang out with Brady’s parents? No thank you.

We Ubered a couple miles away to a bar where Hunter knew the bouncers. Brady had to go to the bathroom again immediately and Hunter and I told him we would meet him at the bar and order him a drink.

“Your brother is so mean sometimes,” I told him.

Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? Why do you say that?”

I explained to him what happened in the bathroom and then backtracked and explained the situations with Scott and Christian.

“Look, Brady is sensitive as shit. You know that. He’ll relax soon,” Hunter said. “In fact, let’s get him a shot.”

Brady kind of just ignored me all night. Luckily Hunter was going out of his way to include me because he knew what Brady was doing. At one point, Brady went to the bar to get a beer and Hunter put his arm around my waist.

“Cheer up. He’s gonna come around,” he said. I could tell he was really drunk because his eyes were creepy and low. I pulled away from him.

And then later, Hunter said, “Hey, don’t be upset. Brady is being an idiot. You’re hot. He’s going to keep you around.”

Um, wtf. And Brady was standing right there next to us. What a fucked up thing to say. I thought Hunter was more mature than that (remember that conversation we had about Dom when I first met him?), but obviously boys will be boys.

It pissed me off though. Not that Hunter owes me anything. But like, dismissing my concerns about Brady because I’m hot? Ew.

Carly got married. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. She was a huge bridezilla bitch the week before the wedding and it annoyed me. I wanted to be like, “You don’t even want to marry Chris, you just want a wedding.” But that’s mean.

Brady and I didn’t really talk or see each other much that week, but I’d been looking at apartments. I texted Hunter something like, “He still isn’t talking to me,” and Hunter sent back some confused face .gif.

We put on a pretty convincing show at the wedding, pretending nothing was wrong. Carly’s mom even mentioned us being next. But then at the reception all of us got really drunk. The four of us plus some of Brady and Chris’s friends were hanging out and I heard Chris say, “So Brady man, are you getting any pussy tonight?”

SERIOUSLY?

I was drunk and had a delayed reaction, but pushed Chris when I realized what he said. Brady laughed. And when I woke up on Sunday morning, I decided that I am for sure 100% moving out. And I was so distraught by what Chris said that I grabbed Preston and we ditched the party to go to Boystown.

So I’m moving into my place next weekend. I’m really, really sad about it, but I think it’ll be good for me. I couldn’t move this past weekend because I was in Houston, but now my dad is going to come help me on Friday.

It sucks. I feel like I wasted all that time with Brady and now I’m back to where I started. If we were mad at each other, it would feel different, but he’s being nice, cordial and even offered to help me get all my shit out (but he told my dad he would help which is worse). So now it really feels over.

I needed to get out of Chicago so I went home to Houston for Thanksgiving. I haven’t gone home in forever and it felt kind of nice to do the whole family thing. I decided to stay with my mom because she was so incredibly excited that I was coming and I figured she (we) could use the company.

And obviously, when I was in Houston I saw Christian. I’d had such an awful day on the Wednesday before that I drank until I passed out on the flight. I Ubered to my mom’s, changed into a dress and met Brittany at a restaurant opening.

She squealed and threw her arms around me. “You look so good! How are you?” I noticed her checking behind me (probably looking for Brady because I hadn’t told her anything) and then look back at me with a sympathetic smile.

We met up with Christian later at a club where his friend was DJing. Christian knows pretty much everyone in the music industry in Houston. He too pulled me into a hug, kissed my cheek and kept a hand on my lower back the whole night. So if Brittany hadn’t caught on by then, she definitely did now.

I went home fairly early, but Christian and I made plans to see each other the next morning – without Brittany. We went to breakfast and then back to his studio so he could work.

Christian sat down at his computer and said, “So tell me what’s up?” without even looking at me.

That kind of irritated me, but I wasn’t about to say anything and start drama so early on.

“Not a whole lot. I’m moving into my apartment next weekend so… you’ll be able to come visit me,” I said.

“Good. I’d like to do that,” Christian said, grabbing my knee, but not looking over at me. He noticed I didn’t say anything and finally looked at me. “I’d like to see more of you.”

I hung out with him for a couple hours while he worked and he showed me some of his work. Eventually we needed to go be with our respective families, but we made plans for dinner on Friday night. On my way out, Christian grabbed me and kissed me on my forehead which almost felt more intimate than my lips.

I spent Thanksgiving with my mom only because both sets of grandparents were on vacation and that’s really the only other family I have. My dad texted me telling me “Happy Thanksgiving,” but when I replied asking what was doing I never got an answer. And when I told my mom, she assured me that he was with his girlfriend.

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend, Mom,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Y’all aren’t even divorced.”

After spending the night with Christian on Friday and all day Saturday, I decided to go clubbing with Brittany on Saturday night. I was enjoying his company a little too much and I already knew I was going to be devastated having to go back to Chicago and be ignored by Brady. So I thought a blackout night was in store.

Brittany is talking to this older real estate investor who has like a ton of money. He had a table at the club and Brittany and I were taking advantage of the bottle service.

Do y’all remember my story about Trevor, the guy I hooked up with when we were in high school? I saw him out and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to run into someone. I was walking back from the bathroom and he recognized me first.

“Reese?” he asked in a really surprised voice.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed and threw my arms around him. “What are you doing here?”

“What?” he shouted back.

“How are you?” I asked.

Trevor pointed to his ear indicating that he couldn’t hear me so I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the bathroom corridor where it was quieter.

“What’s up? How are you? It’s so good to see you,” I said.

“It’s good to see you, too. You look great.” Trevor gave me an appreciative nod after glancing over my body.

We stood there for probably 10-15 minutes talking about life (can’t even remember what), and eventually he said his friends were leaving soon so he needed to get going.

“Okay, well we will talk soon, okay?” I said. And then we both leaned in and kissed each other. This lasted a couple of seconds and then Trevor grabbed my shoulders and pulled away.

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek,” he laughed. “I have a girlfriend and she has spies everywhere.”

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek, too!” I lied and then shrugged. “Sorry.”

I headed back to our table and to my surprise, Christian had showed up. I hadn’t invited him or told him where I was. I still jumped in his lap nevertheless.

“Oh my gosh, missed you!” I said kissing him, just two minutes after kissing Trevor.

We made out there for a little bit and then Brittany called us for a picture. I knew it would absolutely end up on Facebook within seconds, but I didn’t care. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and smiled big for her.

We stayed until the bouncers were literally kicking people out and then I demanded to go get food. IHOP was the only thing open which I was okay with. Christian, Brittany, Brittany’s man and I grabbed a booth and ordered half the menu.

“So, are you going to go back to Chicago and forget about me?” Christian asked me.

I shook my head. “Of course not. I’m going to visit so much. Just watch.”

But on the plane ride home, I realized that I was probably just wasting both of our time. I hate going to Houston, especially with my parents fighting like this.

So I’ve been kind of short with him since getting back and making every excuse to why I can’t FaceTime (but Brady being in the other room is actually a pretty valid reason).

Speaking of Brady, he wants to keep custody of Tucker and give me visitation rights which I think is so unfair. I’m the only one who ever takes Tucker out for walks and buys him things, Brady just plays with him sometimes when he gets off work. He has no idea about Tucker’s routine and what he likes. Why does he think Tucker should stay with him?

I asked and Brady rolled his eyes impatiently. “You can see him whenever you want. You can even keep your key. I’m not going to take Tucker from you.”

And I will definitely take him up on the offer to keep my key.

I’m so depressed. I don’t know how to get over this. I know it’s going to take time, but now it hurts so much that I don’t see how I’m going to make it. I thought Christian would be a good distraction and he was, but now I’m back to reality and in Chicago and in the same house as Brady and Christian couldn’t be farther away. And now I’m even more depressed with the holidays coming up and Brady’s birthday. I’m just like really sad. And I’m having trouble remembering what I was like and I did before Brady. He’s been such a huge part of my life and I’m kind of hoping this isn’t the end.