Kendra and I met for dinner on Tuesday night. I didn’t talk to her at all over the weekend so we definitely had some catching up to do.
She seemed to be in good spirits when we sat down at the restaurant. We ordered panzanella and wine and I asked her to tell me about her weekend.
“It was okay. I went into the office on Saturday since I had nothing better to do and I hung out with a girl from work that night. We went to this lounge that I think you would love,” Kendra said.
“That’s good…” I said. I wanted to ask if she’d heard from John, but I didn’t know if he was still off limits.
“Yeah. How was your weekend?” Kendra changed the subject.
I proceeded to tell her all about Dom, Brady’s parents and Anna and she said, “Ugh. Sounds like a oppressed bitch.”
“She is,” I agreed. “Hopefully I don’t have to ever see her again. What do you think about the Anna thing?”
“I can’t tell if it’s sketchy as hell or if Brady is just a pussy. I hope they’re not like, still hooking up or anything.”
“I didn’t get that vibe,” I admitted. “They hadn’t seen each other in a long time, I don’t think.”
“Well hopefully they didn’t exchange numbers and he doesn’t plan on flying out to see her anything.”
I blinked.
“Or fly her here. Honestly Reese, he’s probably already cheated on you.”
“Kendra!” I exclaimed.
“I’m sorry,” she said and then burst into tears. “I didn’t mean that. I just…”
She just sat there bawling and couldn’t get her sentence out. I didn’t know what to do. Our waiter came back with our food and looked startled and uncomfortable at Kendra crying so I motioned for him to set the plates down.
“Kendra,” I said softly.
“I’m fine,” she blubbered. “Seriously. I just need a moment.”
Kendra scrambled out of her chair and headed toward the bathroom. I waited two minutes before following her. She was standing in front of the mirror wiping her face when I got in there.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she said evenly.
I caught her eye in the mirror and gave her a look.
“This is just hard,” she finally sniffed. “I miss him so much.”
“Do you think maybe you should talk to him?” I asked.
“No. I don’t want to talk to him.”
I knew that she did want to talk to him, but felt like she shouldn’t.
“Even just for closure? I feel like there’s so many unanswered questions.”
Kendra shook her head. “I can’t. It’s fine. I promise. I’m fine. Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”
I followed her back to our table and we didn’t mention John again for the rest of the evening. So I really don’t know what to do. I feel like Kendra needs to talk to him because she’s just going to be miserable if she doesn’t. But I can understand why she won’t. What he did was awful. And I don’t think there’s anything I can do that will make her feel better.
On Wednesday, I met with Kate after work. I felt kind of guilty for meeting with her, but I was curious to hear what she had to say. We met at Starbucks right outside her hotel and both arrived at the same time.
“Hi Reese! So glad to see you again!” she exclaimed, hugging me.
We got lattes and sat at a little table in the corner. We talked about Brady’s dad’s party and why she was there. She’s friends with a guy who works with Brady’s mom for some charity (she’s philanthropic? Who knew?) and he invited her to be his date to the party. I told her about my weekend (without getting too in depth) and she laughed.
Finally, Kate said, “I wanted to meet with you so we could talk about this position. It just came open and after talking with you, I thought you would be perfect.”
“Okay… What is it?”
“So it’s the sales director for the Midwest region. We have six shops in the Midwest and we’re gearing up to open our seventh. So basically you would be in charge of the operations, the people, the budget, and of course the sales of all the shops in your region.”
I nodded.
“In addition to that, we have products in hundreds of retailers across the country so you would oversee those relationships within your region and be a liaison between those stores and our New York office.”
I nodded again.
“When I talked to you, you seemed driven, aggressive, and passionate which is exactly what we need. The person who held this role previously couldn’t be counted on to really dig in and make things happen.”
I didn’t exactly know what she meant by “make things happen” or why she thought I could do it.
“You would spend a lot of time traveling to your stores and making sure they are functioning to capacity, but you would also have operational responsibilities that could be done remotely.”
“Okay…” I said.
“And with this new shop opening, you would be responsible for staffing it completely from the shop manager to the shop assistants. Meaning you would have to recruit to find the people you think would best fit the store.”
I took a moment to let all of this sink in.
“I mean, my background is in marketing and advertising. I don’t know anything about hiring people or anything like that,” I said honestly. And even though I guess the ad team is technically my team, they’re pretty independent so it’s not like I have to help develop them or anything.
“Well, you would have an intense month long training where you would shadow one of our top sales directors. We wouldn’t just throw you in and expect you to know what to do.”
I nodded and then Kate’s face lit up.
“And what intrigued me so much about you is the creative ways you’ve helped increase your company’s sales and client base. As the sales director, you would be in charge of getting creative like that if any of the sales in your region are lagging.”
“It just seems like a complete change of pace from what I’m used to,” I said. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t completed my current job. I have so much more I want and need to do.”
Kate said she understood, but continued to sell the position to me. She even brought her laptop out to show me the layout of one of the shops and pictures from a successful in-store event they had in the store that they hosted to boost sales. Then we looked through the holiday catalog which had a ton of things I wanted to buy. Kate was wearing these amazing printed monogram bracelets that she bought from the company and encouraged me to order some for myself online. I just ordered an “R” and a “B.” Oops.
Two hours later, we were wrapping up and I can’t lie, I was interested. She explained that the company as a whole is young and most of the employees, even the executive team, are young – like under 40. And she gave me a brief overview of their bonus structure, which if all my stores did well, would be extremely lucrative.
Kate set up an official interview with someone from HR over the phone for Monday. I feel completely guilty, but I don’t see any harm in at least interviewing.
After I left #Sbux, I was excited about the new opportunity and getting to see Brady. We hadn’t really gotten to spend any significant time together since getting back from Boston and we had things to discuss.
Unfortunately, when I got there he was working on his computer so I waited around. It did give me a chance to figure out how I was going to inquire about his parents and Anna. I decided to ask about his mom first then hopefully that would segue into the conversation about Anna smoothly.
I was waiting on Brady’s bed when he finished his work. He started taking off his tie and I said, “Does your mom like me?”
Very subtle.
“Yeah, of course. Why?” he answered, nonchalantly.
“It just didn’t seem like it last weekend.”
“Did she say something?” Brady asked.
I waited a moment before answering. “No, but that’s the thing. She didn’t say much to me at all.”
“I think she just had a lot going on. She likes you, don’t worry.”
“How do you know?” I pressed on.
Brady put his shirt in his closet then came back out and said, “Because I know.”
“Did you ever introduce her to your ex?” I asked, proud of the way I’d shifted the conversation.
Brady looked at me like he was trying to read me before saying, “Yes.”
“Oh. She liked her too?”
“I guess so.”
He went in the bathroom, I think in an attempt to avoid the conversation, but I was waiting patiently when he came out.
“So what did your mom say when y’all broke up?” I asked.
“I didn’t tell her until several months post breakup,” Brady replied sitting next to me on the bed.
“Why?”
“I guess I just didn’t want to explain.”
I wanted to ask what there was to explain besides that she moved away, but decided against it. I had more important things to figure out.
“So y’all were pretty serious?”
He shrugged. “I guess so.”
“What do you mean you ‘guess so?’ Were you guys in love?” I asked.
Brady kind of smirked. “Why are you asking me all this?”
“I just want to know. You never talk about her,” I smiled innocently.
“I don’t have any reason to,” Brady said.
“Did you love her?” I asked again before he could try to change the subject.
“I did.”
As soon as he said this my heart began to race and I don’t know why.
“Really? Did you think you would marry her?”
I always thought I would marry my college ex. What a naive little idiot I was.
“I don’t know. Not really. I was young,” Brady said.
“Did you guys talk about it?”
“Yeah.”
Wow. So they must have really been serious. There were so many more questions I wanted to ask, but I decided to go for the zinger.
“When’s the last time you saw her?”
Y’all probably won’t believe this, but I hate catching people in lies. It’s just so sad and awkward when they squirm. So I desperately hoped Brady would tell the truth and have an amazing explanation.
“It’s been a while,” Brady said and my heart fell. So much for that.
I couldn’t confront him without admitting that I’d stalked his Facebook until I found a two and a half year old picture of him and Anna so I kind of had to drop it.
We started making out and undressing each other until we were having sex with Brady on top. Brady has one of those headboards with shelves on it where he keeps a few random knick knacks that I’ve never paid any attention to. Apparently he must have been thrusting hard and rocking the bed because I was just laying there enjoying myself when something hard and heavy fell on my face. I’m pretty sure I made the same noise and movements a squirrel makes when it gets hit by a car.
“Oh shit,” I heard Brady say, getting off me.
I sat up and realized that whatever the fuck it was hit me right between the eyes and I was in agonizing pain. I started crying before I could even stop myself. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve cried because of physical pain.
“I’m so sorry,” Brady said even though it really wasn’t his fault.
I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me apologetically. “Am I bleeding?”
“Um, yeah.”
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to see the damage. I had blood running down the bridge of my nose and it was dripping everywhere. I started crying again.
“Here’s a towel,” Brady said, rushing into the bathroom. Unlike me, he’d put on sweatpants so he wasn’t completely naked. “I’m so sorry, Reese. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
He made me sit down on the toilet so he could help clean my wound and after a few minutes said, “I hope you don’t need stitches.”
“Stitches?!” I cried. My main concern was looking like Frankenstein, walking around with stitches in my face.
“Maybe. It looks deep,” Brady said.
I wasn’t about to get stitches so I held the towel on my face until it stopped bleeding. Brady said since it is in a weird spot right on the edge of my eyebrow where I have a lot of facial movement it will probably keep opening and not heal. And it’s not like a bandaid would exactly fit there either so yeah. Walking around looking like a victim of war now.
Please tell me y’all have almost been on “Sex Sent Me to the ER” too? Share your stories. There has to be something more disgusting and embarrassing than bloody boobs.
hot mess in high heels. 
Oh my…I’ve hoped you healed! What a mess..we’ve all been in an awkward moment…what a mess.
Jeepers!!! It’s kinda funny but not funny, if that even makes sense…? You might get a badass scar for a little while, I feel you could rock that. Aside from that, why the hell is Brody so reluctant to talk about himself? I think he sounds like a pretty great guy but everytime you want to know something about him it’s like getting blood from a stone. Otherwise he seems like a real cutie and I like that you enjoy him 🙂
New job prospect sounds interesting? You could be a bit more autonomous and get away from Witchney…might not hurt to consider it, even though it’s obvious that you love the job you already have.
it is kind of funny, but it hurt so bad haha.
I’m really disappointed that Brady didn’t tell you the truth. The last thing I have tolerance for is lies. How hard would it have been to say he was just chatting with his ex? Not such a big deal, in my opinion.
I think you’re doing a good job of trying to communicate better, while Brady just continues to avoid conversation. If I had seen my boyfriend talking to an ex that I recognized off Facebook, I would have no problem simply mentioning that I saw her profile online. Of course, every relationship is different and not everyone is so open, but wouldn’t it have been so much easier if Brady was open about the situation? Unfortunately, his avoidance of serious conversation and treatment of you like a ticking time bomb makes it really hard to talk to him. Just my two cents.
On another note, feel better, Reese! Don’t worry if you need stitches, it usually won’t be visible after a little while.
I don’t think he lied. He knows Reese seen them talking at the party, and when she asked how long since he’s seen her he said it’s been a while.. two and a half years is a while…
He doesn’t know that Reese knows what Anna looks like, Reese never told Brady that she searched through Facebook till she found a picture of them together. So he did lie when he said “a while” when in reality it’s been a few days.
Maybe brady was afraid of you making a scene and that’s why he didn’t tell you and now too much time has passed to be all “oh yeah, that was my ex at the party. I didn’t tell you that?” So he’s just going to lie about it now.
i think you are right. i could toooootally see him saying “i thought i told you that was my ex” though lol
he lied.
I am usually pretty confrontational, but i couldn’t figure out how to without sounding like a psycho. it sucks that he didn’t tell the truth and i feel like now i’ve missed my opportunity to call him out on it.
I see exactly what you mean. The frustrating part is that you wouldn’t have to come off as a psycho if he was just honest about it in the beginning. If he had just told you that the girl was his ex, you would have just accepted it and maybe asked a few questions. Now that he didn’t tell you, you’re a psycho because you’ll have to accuse him of lying. Ugh.
Ah, that is messy! Luckily Brady knows about that kind of stuff, so I’m sure you’ll be looking perfect again in no time!
As for everything else (Brady’s avoidance, Kendra bottling everything up, taking another job)… Well, God speed!
http://www.cranberryvodka9.blogspot.com
thank you!
Poor Kendra! My heart hurts for her. Maybe you could encourage her to talk to a therapist. Or when I went through something similar, my therapist encouraged me to write a letter to my ex. I never sent it (that really wasn’t the intent of writing in the first place). There were many drafts full of rants, lots of blaming him, lots blaming me, anger, guilt, shame, sadness, hurt, and longing. Strangely it helped put things in perspective for me and helped me heal and learn from it all.
As for Brady, I like him, but becoming increasingly frustrated with his half-truths and passive communication. Some people can handle that, but I know it would be a tricky dynamic to a relationship for me to navigate. Hoping you find peace of mind and clarity with it (soon)💚
thank you for the advice – i’ll be sure to suggest a therapist to kendra. it is so hard knowing i can’t help her.
It must be so hard for her to lose trust in the guy who she loved for so long. I’m so mad at John.
I have definitely watched that show! So funny, the situations they get into! If you don’t want a scar, put vitamin E oil on it.
lol that show is ridiculous
Girl, you just need to be a little more confrontational. Don’t allow your lust to make you loose sight of your mission: the truth. Take it from someone who is very confrontational.. it may be an uncomfortable situation, and my SO may get mad/unhappy about whatever details involved in how you know something (in your case, overhearing his convo with his parents, snooping on Facebook) BUT I would much rather make for a temporary argument than to sit there and second guess everything I’m being told.
Plus, I’m sure Brady knows that girls are much more into finding out info than they are. I have an ex who was very much “the past is in the past, no need to discuss.” You bet I snooped the crap out of his Facebook, and found out his HS gf was someone I went to HS with. And as much as he didn’t like discussing it, if I asked questions he was upfront. If for any reason I thought he or any other guy I’ve dated hasn’t been upfront or I think they’re lying, I call them on it immediately. (Especially because the longer you wait, the longer it’s going to eat YOU up (not him) AND because once you do confront him, he’s going to wonder why you waited so long to do so.) Sometimes I’m wrong, but I’d rather be wrong than assume something that is or isn’t true. Or at least get the truth out there. So that way he knows that I know. And hopefully in your case, Brady will learn that you will always find out the truth one way or the other. And I’d rather be hurt by the truth than find out I was lied to in order to temporarily spare my feelings. Because then I’m more pissed that I was lied to, to begin with.
Sorry this was so long and all over the place. I just always think it’s best to be upfront. You can’t make him do it, but you surely can for yourself.
On a side note, I definitely have seen you grow since you first started writing this 🙂
lifebyaleah.blogspot.com
i don’t think anyone in my life has ever told me to be more confrontational, lol maybe that’s me growing? i’m glad i’m not the only one who facebook snoops. i do feel like i’ve missed my chance to ask about her though since i’ve already brought it up once
What do you really have to gain by confronting him about “it’s been a while” when you know it was three days ago. They had a brief conversation, she lives far away, and you’re the girl in his life now. If he starts getting late night phone calls and starts taking more trips home without, by all means, but for now I just don’t see the benefit of making a big deal out of it.
As far as his Mom goes, compared to Dom, I’m sure she likes you. Clearly he could do worse, Hunter proves that.
I agree with the comment that Kendra should probably talk to a professional. When you’re that deep in a relationship and you get betrayed like that, it’s way outside a friends ability to help her get over it.
The job sounds interesting, but also sounds like a huge commitment. All that traveling and work around the holidays (the worse aspect of retail) will be a big change in your life and you have to decide if that’s the direction you want to go.
i guess you’re right, it just sucks that he wasn’t upfront about it. and i don’t think it is a big deal nor did i make it a big deal until he lied about it. the job does sound like a lot and definitely a change of pace! that is my biggest concern
I can’t exactly remember the post where you saw Anna on FB, but I’m gonna just throw this out there… What if she ISN’T the ex?
good point… what if she isn’t??? didn’t even think of that.
You poor thing! Hope you feel better and there isn’t a scar (and also hope Brady finished you off so it was at least semi worth it lol)
Also, do not feel guilty about these 2 things:
– considering another job or interviewing with them; you never know what is going to happen and you need to look out for yourself!
– stalking Brady’s FB – if he made it possible, then that is on him and there is nothing wrong with creeping the FB of someone that you are interested in; I may have done it 49584 or so times in my day ….
oh girl, after that accident i don’t think either of us was in the mood. glad i’m not the only facebook stalker and i love that you aren’t afraid to admit it!
It would be weird if you weren’t curious and didn’t creep his fb. Isn’t it known that’s what everyone does lol!?! My boss admitted doing it for some new hires.
As for your cut, just keep it clean and try the suggested vitamin e as a topical treatment or even coconut oil for its antiseptic and scar reducing properties. It’s probably too late to get it stitched up at this point anyways, maybe getting it checked out by a doctor wouldn’t hurt though?
I hope Brady isn’t being shady again.
I hope you are doing better! Years ago I was having sex with a current boyfriend who only had a cheap mattress frame with the standard wheels at the bottom. Well even though the wheels were locked the force of his thrusts combined with the wood floor caused the bed to move over time. We were both enjoying ourselves and in the moment so neither of us noticed until the bed hit his armoire where the tv was. We barely missed the tv falling onto the bed on top of us!
http://jocelynseverydayjourneys.blogspot.com
lol that is hilarious. i hope the tv and you guys were fine.
Aww. I hope you fell better doll. Hopefully Brady will nurse you back to perfection.
I really get that Brady may not like having deep conversation but I think you need to talk to him about it. I don’t think he’s shady but you should let him know that when he gives vague answers it hurts you and it makes you trust him less. He’s done it on so many occasions and honestly it may just be the way he is. Which is why I think you should let him know how it affects you. While he may be an avoider, it’s not fair on you and I think you need to talk to him about that. I’m sure if he knows how much it bothers you he will make an effort to be more open. He did say once that he’s this way cos of his parents.
While you’re on the conversation you should bring up the Anna thing. It bothers me that he feels the need to hide it when it’s so not a big deal. Thinking you will blow up/cause a scene is a lame excuse. They were just talking. You deserve to know why he has a hard time talking about it. Maybe part of it has to do with the way he is now. Just my two cents. Also we don’t know if that is really Anna. But you have a right to find out. I don’t think you missed your window. You could just tell him that you wanted to drop it but it bothers you that he lied and yo want to know why.