i’m expecting jiff under the christmas tree.

Kendra and I made up on Friday. Well, she texted me a picture of a gold sequin dress she’d seen online and asked if she could wear it for New Year’s Eve. I guess that meant she wasn’t mad anymore.

I replied, “Yes, it’ll look perfect with your DSquared booties and your hair up.”

So we are officially back on.

I talked to Diana on Friday afternoon and she told me that she had someone in mind to replace me. She wanted me to meet the girl and sit in on the interview on Monday. Since apparently I’m an interview expert now I said sure. 

After work I met with Preston for dinner. He was craving Chick-fil-a which is (amazing) disgusting, but after what he’s been going through, I figured he deserved it. We got our food and took it to my apartment so we wouldn’t be caught eating it in public. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked as we sat our sandwiches, nuggets, waffle fries, and milkshakes on the counter.

“Honestly, I’m fucking pissed. But on the bright side, I’m back on Grindr and I’m hanging out with this guy later. I kind of missed it.”

He proceeded to tell me about how he’d met up with a Grindr date on Thursday night and they got a hotel room. Preston totally planned on having rebound sex, but he got too drunk and passed out. Story of my life. 

Brady worked late on Friday night, like really late: until almost 11:00. He texted me when he got off, but didn’t make any attempts to hang out so I figured he was probably tired.

On Saturday morning, Brady told me to come over because he missed me which is so cute. When I got there we had breakfast, hooked up, got dressed, went to Bloomingdale’s, went to the grocery store, came home, napped, made dinner then turned on a movie. We’re like a little married couple already.

Chris was home and the two of them decided to smoke. But instead of pulling the big bong out, they had this little glass pipe thing. I was watching curiously because I’ve never seen one before and Brady tried to pass it to me. I shook my head.

After they finished smoking, they sat on the couch, stoned. I was sitting in the middle of them while they talked about gas prices and the economy or something lame. And then suddenly, right in the middle of their conversation, Brady stopped talking and pulled me on his lap and started kissing my neck. I giggled and pushed him away since Chris was right there.

Brady looked up at me with half-open, red stoner eyes. I kissed him quickly and tried to get up but he grabbed my waist and held me down.

“Brady.” I said his name like I was a fed up high school teacher.

He smirked at me while he stuck his hand up my shirt and squeezed one of my boobs. And then he pinched my nipple and I felt my vagina pulsate. Probably time to end this.

I jumped up and scurried off but before I could get too far Brady slapped my ass, hard.

“Isn’t she so hot?” I heard him ask Chris as I turned down the hallway.

Hot? Whatever. I’m way more than hot. I hope Chris defended me. 

I went to Brady’s room and got on Facebook/Instagram/SnapChat/rubbed the sore hand print on my ass. I was looking at puppies (have you seen Jiff the Pom?! Need.) when Brady walked in.

“You hurt me,” I told him.

I was laying on my tummy across the bed and didn’t move from my spot. 

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say as he came behind me. He rubbed my ass softly and then he pulled down my shorts and kissed the tender spot he slapped.

I flipped over slightly and shoved a picture of Jiff in his face. “Can we get a dog?”

Brady stared at Jiff for about fifteen seconds before saying, “That is a genetically modified dog.”

“No he isn’t,” I scoffed. “He’s just really well groomed. Can we get one? It’ll be our first taste of parenthood.”

Brady laughed and said okay. So I’m expecting Jiff under the tree on Christmas.

On Sunday morning, I woke up before Brady and decided to make breakfast. I put some bacon in the oven and then pulled the eggs out of the refrigerator. I noticed the little black pipe thing sitting on the counter and couldn’t help picking it up. I don’t know why I was so intrigued by it.

I was examining the bowl part with the weed remnants in it when I thought I kind of heard something in the hallway and when I looked up Brady was walking into the kitchen. Apparently he scared me and I dropped the pipe on the tile floor. It shattered. Oops.

“What are you doing?” Brady asked and for a second, I thought he was pissed. But then he smiled and walked into the kitchen only wearing a pair of sweatpants.

“I’m making breakfast,” I said sweetly. I couldn’t help throwing my arms around him and kissing him because he’s just so adorable. “Your pipe thingy fell off the counter and broke.”

I pointed to the glass all over the floor. Brady looked down at the mess and looked back at me. And then he grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him so I could feel that he was hard. I grabbed his dick and started stroking it, considering giving him head in the kitchen.

I was about to pull it out when we heard Chris down the hall say, “Smells like bacon!”

We quickly pulled apart and Brady busied himself cleaning up the glass while I continued working on breakfast. Y’all will be proud to know that I made a delicious breakfast without burning anything (except two pieces of toast which doesn’t count).

By the way, thanks for all the comments on my last post! I was honestly hesitant to post it because I was so embarrassed/horrified about the outcome of what I did. None of you made me feel any worse about it so thanks! Some people are saying I should show him the message, but I deleted our message thread on Facebook and I don’t think I can get it back. I’m not sure if I should show him anyway because neither of us has talked about what happened since Thursday night. Do I really need to bring it back up? And how do I do that without pissing him off all over again? (I know, I know, we suck at communicating)

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i’m much more classy now.

On Monday I decided that I was sick of dreading going to work so I was going to take my life back. If they wanted to go through with Whitney’s bullshit ideas then fine, that’s what we would do. One part of me wanted to stay out of it completely so that when it all blew up in her face I could say I had nothing to do with it, but another part of me genuinely cares about the company and doesn’t want Whitney to run in to the ground.

I decided that I would help, but also work on my own projects. I cannot possibly put my all into something someone else was going to put their name on.

On Monday afternoon I got an email from Mark that said, “It was so nice meeting you over the weekend. I would love to assist you in finding your first home. Let’s meet for coffee this week and discuss what you’re looking for.”

I totally forgot that I told Mark I wanted to buy a house. I replied, “Thanks for contacting me. I don’t plan on buying right now or in the near future, but I’ll let you know when I’m ready. And I don’t drink coffee, sorry.”

“You know, it normally takes people several months to find the perfect place. Let’s just meet. We can grab a quick drink since you don’t like coffee,” he replied. 

“Fine. I’m free tomorrow after 5:00. And I’ll get a chai latte instead of coffee.”

For the rest of the work day, I planned a preview party for the night before the holiday warehouse sale. It would be held in the showroom and we would cater finger foods like bacon wrapped shrimp. Plus a lot of alcohol obviously. I was so excited to have my own little project to work on.

After work I met with Carly for mani/pedis so we could discuss the weekend’s events.

“I know you’re not really into weed, but you had fun right?” Carly asked.

“I did, but I ate five fucking slices of pizza in one sitting. That’s unacceptable and quite frankly disgusting. If that’s what weed is going to do to me then I want no parts,” I answered.

Carly giggled. “Then you don’t even want to know how many slices I ate. Thanks for the pizza, by the way. You were the life of the party!”

“Great. I’ll put that down as an explanation on my expense report.”

We finished our pedicures and headed to the manicure stations.

“Call me naive, but I didn’t even know Brady smoked or anything,” I said.

“You’re naive. Brady smokes with us all time,” Carly revealed.

Cool. So my boyfriend is a stoner and I had no idea. I guess I should’ve known though. Everyone smokes these days.

I started to say something, but the petite Asian girl doing my nails said, “You need manicure bad.”

I just blinked at her so she added, “Real bad.”

Then she started giggling. Isn’t that rude? Did y’all see that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda always orders the same Chinese takeout and the girl laughs at her? That’s how I felt. And honestly, I know it’s been awhile since my last mani, but my nails weren’t that bad. 

I made sure to hunt down the manager of the nail salon to let him know how rude his staff is. I found him and told him what happened and he said I did “need manicure.” So whatever. Won’t be going back there.

Brady came over after work and I told him about his persistent friend contacting me.

“It won’t hurt to look. You might actually find something really great,” Brady said.

Fine. So I met Mark after work on Tuesday at a coffee shop near the office. He already had a chai latte waiting for me, which was nice but wasn’t going to make me any more inclined to buy a house/condo.

“Thanks for meeting me, Reese. How was your day?” he asked after he shook my hand.

“It was fine,” I said shortly. I was ready to get this little meeting over with so I could go home and watch the episodes of Snapped I had on DVR.

“That’s what I like to hear. What is it you do for a living again?” Mark asked.

I gave him a super brief summary of my job while he nodded. 

“What an interesting industry to work in. I’m willing to guess your apartment is designed very nicely.”

That was true and I even had pictures to prove it, but I didn’t have time to show off. I nodded.

“Why the resistance, Reese? Buying a home is such an exciting thing that not everyone gets the opportunity to do.”

I took a sip of my chai. “I’m just not ready to buy right now. I probably can’t even afford what I want so I don’t want to get my hopes up,” I explained.

Mark’s face lit up. “You’d be surprised what you can afford at the same amount or less than what you’re paying in rent now. A unit in this building just went on the market last week. Why don’t we go take a look?”

The coffee shop we were in was actually in the lobby of an older apartment building with dark original wood, an ornate tray ceiling and lots of moldings. It was gorgeous. He took me up a rickety flight of stairs to the fourth floor and down the hall to the last unit. When he opened the door, my jaw literally dropped. 

Even though the building was older, the inside of the apartment was completely redone. It had the same dark wood floor from downstairs and huge windows on two of the walls because it was a corner unit. The kitchen opened up the living area and was completely updated with dark cabinets, light granite counter tops, a sparkly dark blue back splash and stainless steel applicances. The bathroom had the same cabinets and counter tops with a separate glassed-in shower and jetted bathtub. Down the hall was the one bedroom, not huge but a good size for how old the building was. There was somehow a walkin closet with a customized built in shelving system. The entire place was beautiful. 

“Wouldn’t you like to live here?” Mark asked. He hadn’t said anything the whole time I toured, letting me take the whole place in by myself.

“Yes,” I admitted. The place was way bigger and just as nice as my current apartment. “But how do I even know if I can afford it?”

“My clients usually work with an amazing banker who can crunch some numbers and find a budget you’re comfortable with. Why don’t you meet with her this week?” Mark suggested.

I said okay and looked around one last time. So now Mark has me seriously considering buying a condo. I mean, if my financial situation works out.

Brady came to get me after work so we could have dinner and drinks. He said he had a long day so I made him spill it over tequila spritzers. He explained that one of the long term patients at the hospital passed away. The man had cancer and wasn’t a patient Brady worked directly with, but they had grown close from seeing each other and talking everyday. I never know what to say when someone dies. I’ve never really had to go through that so I don’t even know what I would want someone to say to me.

Brady asked how my day was and I told him about meeting Mark and the awesome apartment I saw.

“I think you should definitely consider investing in property now. It’s the perfect time in your life,” he said.

I told him that I would look further into it.

We had a few more drinks and I started feeling pretty tipsy. Brady stopped after drink number two because he was driving, but obviously I kept going well past that. By the time we left the restaurant, I was feeling happy and horny as hell.

While Brady drove home, I rubbed his thigh and kissed his neck hoping he would pull over so we could partake in some skanky car sex. He wasn’t very responsive since he was focused on the road, but then Drunk Reese got a wonderful idea.

I quickly unbuckled his belt and pants before he could safely stop me and pulled his penis out. He was hard so obviously he wanted some action too. I was going to give him road head. I haven’t done that since probably high school because I’m much more classy now, but this was the perfect opportunity.

“Reese,” Brady moaned once I got started, but he didn’t stop me.

I kept going and he grabbed a fistful of my hair like he was going to pull me off, but he let me keep sucking. After several minutes, I felt Brady’s body start to tense.

“I’m…gonna…” he started but couldn’t even finish his sentence before he came.

The rest of the car ride back to his place was silent and when we got to his room he pushed me back on the bed and started kissing me. He pulled my shirt over my head and started kissing my neck.

“What are you doing to me?” Brady mumbled into my neck.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he responded so I don’t know what he meant by that.

Either way, we spent the night hooking up so no complaints from me.

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