Hey y’all.

I’ve been so bored. There’s only so much shopping and watching YouTube videos a girl can do. I miss you guys!

Ever since we got back from our week of vacation, Brady and I have been getting along great. We were in Houston for two days then spent a day in Galveston and then we went to New York. We had a really, really good talk one night and decided that we both needed a break, from life. I came clean about everything right before we left. Obviously he wasn’t particularly happy about what I told him (reading his messages, Marco, etc), but he took it better than expected. When I told him that I’d gone through his messages via the iPad, he swallowed hard and said, “You did?” Which made him seem kind of guilty and I don’t think he had any reason to be. And when I told him about Marco, he asked a ton of questions like, “Did he ever express interest in you other than strictly friends?” and “Why did you accept the bag?” and “Why didn’t you tell me about it sooner?” etc.

I did cry, but not because I wanted to get out of trouble. I cried because I felt bad that he was so understanding. He didn’t even yell at me like he probably should have.

Anyway, we got to Houston and I took him to my favorite taco place near the airport. We literally waltzed in there with all of our luggage and stuff. My parents met us there and we had a classy late night dinner at a hole in the wall taco spot. Valentine’s Day was cute – my dad and Brady got flowers and macarons for me and my mom. Plus Brady got me jewelry. We went to dinner that evening and ended our night at a bar, naturally.

It was the end of fashion week when we were in New York. We mostly just pranced around sightseeing and eating our way through Manhattan. Our hotel had a really good restaurant in its lobby and I don’t even want to talk about how much money we wasted ordering food from downstairs. Worth it though.

When we got back to Chicago, Kendra had a birthday dinner so Brady and I went. Preston and Joe were there along with Kendra’s friend, Lori and Lori’s hubby. We went to this really nice steakhouse which was perfect for my high protein, low carb diet I’ve been on. We ended up racking up a $1300 bill which Brady and John insisted on splitting. I was like, “Brady, what are you trying to prove here? If John wants to pay for his wife’s birthday dinner, then let him.” But he really wanted to.

Overall we’ve been really, really good though. And since I haven’t been working I’m playing the whole stay at home wife role, making breakfast, lunch and dinner and taking Tucker on long walks everyday.

Before I’d even started my new job, I’d been keeping in contact with my new boss, Scott. He started CC-ing me on all the sales emails and keeping me in the loop about how the expansion was going and any additional hiring he did. He kept saying things like, “You’re going to do so great. I can’t wait for you to start. If you keep up the intensity, you’re going to go far.”

Intensity? What intensity? But obviously my head was getting big and I was thinking about how awesome I must be if he was that impressed with me before I even started. And that I was going to like him as a boss because I love feedback, especially when I’m doing well.

One day he called me so we could talk about some things I needed to do prior to my first day and to just chat it seemed. He mentioned that he planned on going to a bar for whiskey that night and kept going on and on about how cool and fun the bar is. After we hung up, he texted me saying, “I’d love for you to join me for whiskey tonight. :-)”

I literally gasped and dropped my phone, having flashbacks of my old boss, Andrew. I started freaking out, thinking there was no way I was going to be able to work for him if he was hitting on me already. Luckily Brady came home a few minutes later and I met him at the door.

“Look what just happened!” I exclaimed, shoving my phone under his nose.

He took it from me and read the message a few times.

“Can you believe this? He’s married! Is there a faithful man left in this world?” I asked.

“Just reply and tell him you aren’t interested. That’ll put a stop to this quickly,” Brady said nonchalantly.

“I don’t even think I can work for him if he thinks this is okay,” I continued.

“Reese, relax. You have to remember that he’s European and comes from a different culture. It may be that he’s just being nice and you’re mistaking it for something else.”

I figured Brady was right and replied, “Haha, I don’t even like whiskey.” (Not true.)

What else is new? Oh, Luke has been texting me complaining about Stacey. Apparently she’s gotten even more out of control and shows up one to two hours late each day and bashes all his ideas even though she has nothing to do with product development. I’m like, “I told you she’s terrible,” and he’s like, “You aren’t helping, Reese!”

Oh, and Hailey is still around. It seems like she’s coming on even stronger now. She comments on literally every single picture Brady posts on Instagram, even the one he posted of me on Valentine’s Day. It was of me sipping a glass of white wine at dinner and she commented, “Where is this? It looks so nice!” and added a heart eyed emoji. Like, can you stop?

Also, Brady’s brother, Hunter’s wife is pregnant again. The thought of them having sex is honestly disgusting, but Brady is really excited about it.The parents are supposed to visit them in San Francisco next month and Brady suggested we go too and I can’t figure out why. I told him I would have to check my schedule.

And I crashed my car. I’m fine and my car is fine now since I fixed it, but I don’t want to drive anymore. So, this is going to sound really high maintenance, but I hired a driver to take me to work during the week. It’s actually a really good idea for anyone if you’re living in the city. It’s much classier than taking an Uber everywhere (is it me or did Uber lower their vehicle standards recently? I’ll never use that disgusting app again). Brady laughed when I told him, but totally understood my need for a driver.

Also, I finally started my new job today. Scott showed me to my new office and left me alone for the remainder of the day to get situated. Basically I just set up my email and hung out on Instagram all day. He didn’t give me a tour or introduce me to anyone, but hopefully that happens tomorrow.

Anyway, I’m exhausted from working after having almost an entire month off. Plus I made a really big dinner so I’m having trouble even moving. I’ll update y’all later this week and let you know how the job is going. Bye!

Hey you guys!

Thank you so much for your comments on my last post! There was so much good advice and so many things to consider. I did talk to Brady on Sunday night when he got home and it was a good talk, probably one of the best we’ve had. I don’t know if Brady just doesn’t know what a relationship is supposed to look like, but he was kind of in denial that something is wrong. How can anyone think this is normal, lol? But he finally agreed that something must change. We just need to figure out exactly what.

So I somehow talked to him into taking next week off from work to spend with me! AN ENTIRE WEEK. We are flying to Houston on Saturday night and spending Valentine’s Day with my wacky parents then traveling a bit throughout the week. I’m seriously shocked that he agreed to it. I plan on coming clean about everything – reading the messages, the gift from Marco, everything. I think if I want to seriously move forward with him then I really should.

Anyway, I have to take a break from the blog. It was really helping at first, I loved reading all the comments and advice and everything, but now I feel like it’s making me crazy. So until I figure my life out, y’all can find me via email or Twitter! Miss you already!

My life is so dramatic.

On Friday we were going out to celebrate my new job plus it was just an excuse to drink. We decided to have people over to pregame beforehand and I invited Luke. And he brought Stacey. Can you believe that? I didn’t think I would have to remind him that she was not invited, but apparently Luke wanted to force us to be friends.

I literally groaned when Luke walked in with Stacey trailing him. He had a 6-pack of beer with him and she waltzed in wearing a tight bodysuit and wide leg pants. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I wore wide leg pants to work last week and suddenly Stacey is wearing wide leg pants too. She’s a self proclaimed minimalist who usually wears the Express Columnist pants with a Portofino shirt.

“Hey Reese,” she said immediately. “Your boyfriend’s place is so nice!” And then she laughed. Because that’s all Stacey ever does.

I didn’t even acknowledge her. I poured the group a couple of shots and finished up getting getting ready. I was walking out of the bedroom when I caught Stacey and Luke getting something out of the little liquor cabinet Brady has at the end of the hallway. He keeps more expensive stuff in there and we hardly ever use it.

“Can you fucking not?” I screamed at them.

Stacey started laughing and Luke said, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, are we not allowed to drink it?”

“Uh, no! Why would you think that’s allowed?” I said and snatched the bottle from him. Stacey continued laughing and grabbed Luke to go back to the kitchen where everyone was hanging out.

A little while later, we were finishing up our drinks and Stacey said something like, “Brady, do you share your alcohol you keep in the hallway? Can I have some?”

And since Brady is super nice so he said, “Uh, yeah. Of course.”

“No!” I exclaimed. “I told you no!”

Stacey rolled her eyes and said, “Reese, this is Brady’s house, not yours.”

“Fuck off, you don’t know anything,” I said.

“Reese,” Brady said, gently.

“See how mean she is to me?” Stacey pretended to sniffle.

“She’s so annoying, I literally hate her,” I said just to Brady.

“I know. Just ignore her. She does it just to piss you off,” he replied.

Luckily we left after that and headed to a bar in Old Town. When we were waiting to get in Luke grabbed my arm and whispered, “Hey, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that alcohol was off limits. You aren’t mad, are you?”

“I’m over it, but I don’t like her,” I said.

“That isn’t nice. She likes you,” Luke said.

Funny that Luke would even think Stacey likes me after all this. We hate each other and that’s fine. I got a text from Marco asking what I was doing that night so I told him where we were and invited him to meet us. He was with a few friends and said he would stop by. Brady and Marco have never met and we were a little drunk so I figured we would all be able to get along smoothly.

Kendra and John were already inside at a table. Stacey and Luke said they were going to get drinks, but they ended up disappearing for the rest of the night which I was 100% okay with. When Marco showed up Brady and I had ours arms wrapped around each other.

“Oh my gosh, babe, this is my best friend, Marco,” I said, pulling away.

They shook hands and it was fine, no awkwardness or tension at all. Then Marco pulled me into a hug and said it had been way too long since we’ve seen each other. I was like, “Lol, okay.”

We don’t text as much anymore, but he usually texts me on the weekends and invites me out or asks if I want to do anything.

Brady ordered a round of shots for our table then almost immediately Marco ordered another on his tab. I didn’t realize at the time that it was a competition.

So we all just hung out for a little bit. Brady and Marco seemed to be getting along great so I ran around with Lexi and her friend Alyssa for a little while. I came back and squeezed in between Brady and Marco, putting my arms around either of them.

“I really want to get food after this,” I told them. “I want pancakes and an omelette.”

Brady laughed and Marco said, “I can take you to get food.”

“I want pizza,” I giggled.

“You can have whatever you want.” Brady and I were laughing and playful, but Marco wasn’t laughing. So I skipped off to get more drinks.

I came back a little bit later with a beer and a tray of tots because apparently the kitchen was still open. I sat down next to Kendra and started going to town.

“We’re probably gonna head out,” she told me.

I threw my tot down. “Already? We can go somewhere else if you want.”

“We’re just really tired, Reese,” she said in a disappointed teacher voice. “We had fun though. Congrats on the new job!” We hugged then she and John left.

Brady and Marco were still talking so I got up and grabbed Lexi to go to the bathroom. We stayed down there for a while because we made some friends and needed to take pics and exchange Snapchat names. As we walked back to our table both Brady and Marco just stared at me. They just watched me approach with straight faces. It was really weird.

I threw my arms around Brady’s neck and asked him if he was ready to leave too. He didn’t really hug me back and was just kind of stiff.

“I’m going to get my card,” he said and walked away.

I turned to Marco. “Thanks for coming out! We had so much fun, right?”

“Yeah, always. Are you coming to get food?” he said.

I glanced behind me. “No, I’m gonna wait for my boyf.”

Marco laughed and said, “Okay. Hit me up, all right?”

We hugged and then Marco and his friends left. Brady came back and was really short and called an Uber for us to go home. Obviously I was drunk and happy and didn’t realize something was wrong until we got home.

“What’s going on with you and Marco?” Brady asked when we walked through the front door.

“What do you mean? He’s my BFF,” I said.

“Really?” Brady appeared in front of me. “Your BFF? What does that mean?”

“Best friend forever,” I giggled.

“When you were drinking that beer, he said, ‘She’s good with her mouth, right?’ Did you do something with this dude?”

I don’t know why, but I gasped and then laughed. Probably because I was so uncomfortable. “No! Of course I didn’t.”

“He kept saying shit like that. Talking about your body. I told him to stop and he laughed.”

“What did he say about my body?” I had to know.

“I’m not repeating it. It was derogatory. Do you know what he said when I called you my girlfriend? He said, ‘I don’t know if she’s aware of that.”

I was confused. “He did? What’s that mean?”

“He obviously thinks there is more going on with you guys!” Brady yelled. “And you’ve been making him think that way!”

“I have not!” I shot back. “I haven’t even seen him in forever.”

“Yeah? But you text him, don’t you? Apparently you’re being so friendly that he thinks he has a chance with you!”

My heart started racing. “No! We are friends. I’ve told him all about you.”

Brady started walking toward the bedroom and I followed him. “You can literally go through my phone and read our messages.”

“I don’t want to read your messages, Reese. But I don’t think you should talk to him again. At least show me that much respect.”

I pulled out my phone and texted Marco, “What the fuck is wrong with you, you weirdo?”

Out loud I said, “Of course I won’t. I’m sorry. I had no idea he was so crazy.”

We hashed it out (or so I thought), hooked up and went to sleep. Brady woke me up early on Saturday morning so we could get breakfast then he was going to work for a few hours. The meal was fine and we didn’t mention Marco at all. Everything seemed to be back to normal. And by the way, Marco sent back a smiling emoji and didn’t bother explaining himself.

I took Brady to work then went home to hang out with my baby Tucker. We watched a ton of TV, made muffins and texted Carly. Later on in the evening, I got out the iPad to play the hair salon app and I thought it would be fun to check Brady’s messages. The first one at the top was Lindsey and I opened it. It didn’t take me long to realize they were talking about me.

“I think you really need to take a step back and think about what kind of relationship you deserve,” was the last thing she said.

I scrolled up and saw that Brady told her what happened on Friday night. Apparently Marco said things like, “Look, she has her tits our for me,” and “I love it when she bends over the table like that,” and “Looks like Reese has been doing her squats.” And when Brady tried to defend me, Marco just laughed.

Lindsey said, “Eww. What has she been doing with him that makes him think this is okay?”

Brady said, “That’s the thing, I don’t know.”

“I don’t like this situation at all. You deserve answers,” Lindsey said.

Ugh! I get that Brady is allowed to talk to his friends about our relationship (I do too), but he could at least talk to me about it too. I felt weird about all of it and especially gross that people were talking about me and thinking about me in that way. I cleaned the house from top to bottom then headed to get Brady from work.

“Hey,” Brady said, kissing me when he got in the car.

I started home and blurted out, “I think we should take a break.”

Brady threw his hands up like he was frustrated. “What? Why?”

“Because neither of us trust each other, we can’t communicate and we obviously don’t know what we want,” I explained.

“What?” he said again.

“We suck at this. You don’t want to go to therapy and we can’t figure out how to make this work on our own.”

“Oookkkayyy…”

“So I’ll move out.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll find somewhere to go obviously.”

“Reese, why are you doing this?”

I started crying. “Because! I don’t know how to have a normal relationship and you deserve better! Don’t pretend like you don’t agree! All your friends and family hates me, like it’s fine. We don’t have to force it.”

Brady didn’t say anything for a while and the only sound was me sniffling. Finally he said, “Fine. If that’s what you want.”

I nodded.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“I’ll stay downstairs,” I said.

We didn’t say anything the rest of the ride home. We ordered pizza for dinner and watched a movie, but then when it was time for bed, I took Tucker to the guest room to sleep. And obviously cried all night because I’m a crazy person.

Brady knocked on the door this morning and woke me up. I shouted for him to come in and he had breakfast. Ugh. Why is he so sweet to me? We decided to get up and go to church with Kendra and John and afterwards we grabbed a quick lunch with them. I asked Brady to drop me off at Nordstrom after that.

“Do you want me to wait in the car or come in with you?” he asked me.

“I’ll find a way home,” I told him.

He sighed dramatically. “Why are you doing this, Reese?”

“Because we need a break, Brady! You need to step back and think about the kind of relationship you deserve.”

He didn’t seem to catch that I’d repeated Lindsey’s text verbatim and said okay. So I walked around Nordstrom for a few hours just looking at everything. I didn’t even try anything on. I went to the beauty department and forced myself to buy a bunch of things I don’t need. Brady texted me saying he was going to a super bowl party and did I want to come? I told him to go ahead without me.

So he’s still out. I’m so confused and depressed. I don’t know what a “break” is supposed to do, but I really want to talk to Brady about it tonight when he gets home. I feel like I’m acting guilty and maybe I am a little bit. I can’t imagine my life without him and I don’t want to, but maybe us not being together would be for the best. As much as it pains me to say it. We just don’t know how to make this work and new issues come up every week. Why can’t we just have a normal relationship! Seriously! But I do think we should take a step back and regroup.

I took the job. Scott called me on Monday wanting an answer and I just took it. I figured if I asked for any more time I would talk myself out of it. So I just told him yes. I figured that even if I don’t love the job, I can’t get anymore unhappy than I am now. Scott was really happy and wouldn’t stop talking about excited he was to have me. Just the ego boost I needed. We discussed my target start date will be the second week in March.

I decided that even though I have like a month until the new job starts, I would still put in my notice right away. I need a damn break.

On Tuesday, Stacey called in sick again. She informed Dale via text message. Right in the middle of a short meeting in Dale’s office he got the text saying she wasn’t coming in. So right in the middle of our conversation, he looked down at his phone and said, “Oh, no.”

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

Dale looked up at me solemnly. “Stacey is sick.”

“Again? Her immune system is terrible,” I replied.

Dale didn’t say anything

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she isn’t really sick?”

He changed the subject after that because he knew I was right. Later that morning, a man that Stacey had been working with came in for their scheduled meeting, but obviously Stacey was too stupid to cancel it beforehand due to her being “sick.” So Dale asked me to run the meeting. This was about an hour before the investors were supposed to arrive and I was preparing for my presentation. So naturally I threw a fit.

“I don’t have time to cover for her! She’s not really sick and it’s not fair that she doesn’t have to do her job!” I ranted.

Dale just looked at me and nodded. He was probably thinking about what an uncooperative brat I was being, but I didn’t care.

So I refused to do the meeting and prepared for the presentation (which I killed). I decided to go see Brady for lunch because I was so annoyed. I also decided that I didn’t have time to go through all the other employees and have Brady paged and wait and stuff so I texted him, “I’m in the lobby, come down here right now.”

He showed up a few minutes later.

“Let’s go to lunch,” I demanded.

“Okay, um.” He looked around. “Okay. Let’s go.”

So we went to this place that’s attached to the hospital through an atrium.

“Listen to what happened today,” I said while we ate.

“I’m listening,” Brady replied.

I told him how Stacey called in and Dale didn’t care then had the nerve to ask me to run a meeting that I had no knowledge and definitely no time for. I got so worked up that I started crying.

Brady was like, “Are you okay?”

I was sobbing in the middle of lunch, so obviously not okay.

“I’m so miserable!” I cried.

“You’re going to be fine, Reese. You just have to make it another week and a half,” he said.

“A week and a half of hell!” I knew I was being a little bit over the top, but sometimes you just need to.

“Are you really going to let them make it hell for you?” Brady asked.

I nodded.

“Well, if you let them, then of course they will. Ultimately you’re in control of your own experiences.”

“You’re right,” I sniffled. “I just needed to cry.”

Brady smiled. “Cry as much as you need to.”

I thought this would be the perfect way to get into that gift shop. “You know what would make me feel better? Candy.”

“Okay. We can get candy.”

Brady works in a large hospital and there are at least three gift shops total. I wasn’t sure which one Hailey works in, but I just assumed it was the largest one that is closest to the main entrance. So we walked back in the hospital hand in hand and as we walked past the gift shop I said, “I’ll get candy in here. Is this where Hailey works?”

“Reese,” he groaned, already fully aware of what I was up to.

“What?” I feigned innocence. “Is something wrong?”

Brady let out a laugh that told me he wasn’t buying it and I was being ridiculous. I shrugged and led him into the gigantic gift shop. The candy was in the front of the store near the cash register. I did a quick scan of the place, spotting three employees huddled near the back talking. None of them appeared to be Hailey.

I took forever picking out what candy I wanted, finally deciding on a Twix bar, a bag of Sour Patch kids and gum. We left without seeing Hailey at all so I was disappointed. Brady and the girl who rang us up were really friendly and obviously knew each other. Maybe he spends a lot of time there.

After we left the gift shop, we ran into some of Brady’s colleagues on the way to the elevator. I think I’d met a couple of them before, but he still said, “Do you know Reese?” and introduced me to everyone. I met that woman who made him food once (and I threw a fit about). She’s a tiny half Asian girl with a bob and a laptop case. And Brady was right, she did have a huge rock on her finger so she’s clearly off the market and I have nothing to worry about.

A lot of them said things like, “Brady’s told us so much about you!” I wonder what he tells his smart friends about me. Things like, “My girlfriend spends all of her money on makeup and shoes, it’s actually pretty pathetic.”

They seemed genuinely interested in meeting me and hearing what I have to say though. We were talking about Super Bowl plans, predictions, etc when someone ran up to the side of Brady and squealed, “Boo!”

It fucking startled me and I jumped then looked over to see Hailey, wearing on the same little t-shirts the other girls in the gift shop were wearing. Out of pure reflex I glared at her.

“Hey!” Brady said, sounding surprised.

“Hey you!” she grinned and didn’t even acknowledge anyone else in the group. I noticed two chocolate bars in her hand (they looked like the expensive kind, not just Hershey’s).

“This is Reese,” Brady said. He gestured toward me and Hailey whipped around dramatically.

“Oh,” she said, still smiling. She quickly put her hands behind her back to hide the candy. “I’m Hailey!”

“Hi Hailey,” I said and took her in. Probably two inches shorter than me, super blonde, super small, definitely overdid it with the undereye highlight/concealer. She’s like 21, why is she even worried about eye bags yet? “Nice to meet you.”

“You too! I’ve heard a lot of good things about you!” she said. I noticed color rising to her cheeks. She was blushing.

“Aww,” I cooed, glancing at Brady. He seemed calm and collected, even checking his watch whereas Hailey was obviously stressed.

“You’re really pretty!” she blurted out.

Brady laughed and she did too once she realized how dumb she sounded.

“Thank you!” I smiled, trying not to make her feel more awkward. I actually felt bad for the girl.

Brady looked over Hailey’s little head at me and said, “I should get going. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, me too,” Hailey said.

Brady grabbed my forearm which is about as much PDA as we are going to engage in, sober and in the middle of a hospital lobby. All of his coworkers were walking onto the elevator and he jogged to catch up with them. Hailey was starting to walk back to the gift shop.

“Bye. It was nice to meet you!” I called after her.

She turned toward me and waved with one hand behind her back because she was still trying to hide the candy bars. “Okay, bye!”

I can’t believe I was ever worried about her. She’s a child, like an actual toddler. And it’s obvious that she has a childish crush on Brady, just like you guys said. I’m embarrassed that I thought she was a threat.

When I got back to work, I cornered Dave in his office. I’d told him that we needed to talk that morning and he told me to come find him after lunch.

“Hey,” I said, sitting in one of the armchairs in front of his desk.

“Reese! You wanted to talk? What’s up?” Dave said. He’s always so jolly. He’s such a nice man and I felt bad about having to quit to him a second time.

“I’m quitting,” I said, not beating around the bush.

Dave’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh no. Why?”

“I’m not even going to lie to you, I hate this place. It hasn’t been the same since Diana left and I’m really unhappy. I feel like I’ve worked really hard and tried to adjust, but I just can’t do it.”

Dave looked like all of this was news to him. “Wow. I don’t want you to feel that way about your job, Reese. Is there anything I could’ve done differently?”

I wanted to say, “Not hired that dumbass.”

But that wouldn’t be professional. So I said, “I just wish you would have taken my concerns seriously and investigated them a little more. That’s all.” I can think of at least two occasions where I told Dave that I didn’t like the way Dale worked and  I thought he sucked and Dave blew me off.

“Wow, I’m sorry about that. If we have a serious sit down meeting and things change, would you consider staying?”

I shook my head. “My mind is made up.”

I’m glad I stood my ground and didn’t let Dave talk me into staying. The last thing he said to me before I left his office was, “Thank you for all your hard work and everything you’ve done for this company. We wouldn’t be where we are now if it wasn’t for you.”

And that made me cry. Twice in one day! I ended up going home early because I’d had such a dramatic day.

There was a package there waiting for me. It was from Carly, asking me to be a bridesmaid! The box included a card, a bottle of glittery champagne, two bottles of nail polish that are her wedding colors (blush and the wine color like I suggested), and a tiny little glass trinket tray. It was so cute that I cried again.

So my last day is next Friday. I’m actually pretty sad about it. It’s bittersweet, but I am happy for a new challenge. I invited Brady, Luke, Preston (Joe) and Kendra (John) out to celebrate tonight so that will be fun.

Hey y’all!

I don’t know where to begin. I got offered another job. I met this British man named Scott a few weeks ago at Starbucks and he runs a luxury furniture and interior design firm here. They’re expanding their office and he suggested we exchange contact information. He’d been emailing me a lot trying to schedule a meeting and honestly, I was really dodgy. I guess I assumed he was hitting on me (get over yourself, Reese), but turns out, he was trying to recruit me.

So we met last week at a Starbucks before work. He had a black coffee waiting for me when I got there which is sweet, but I hate coffee. It was weird because he stood up and shook my hand, and we’d already met.

“So glad we could finally meet,” Scott said in his cute accent. He’s cute. Probably late 30s/early 40s, freckles, light blue eyes, dirty blonde, but graying hair. Wedding ring.

“Me too! I’ve been so busy!” I said, which was kind of true.

He started by going over the expansion, what the new office would look like and what kind of new positions they would be adding.

“I’m going to be upfront with you, Reese. I want you to take over our sales department. Now, that wouldn’t require you to cold call all day – we’ve got people to that,” Scott said.

“Oh,” I said back. I started getting really nervous, like shaky nervous and I don’t even know why.

“I’ve interviewed a lot of people and talked to some internal candidates, but I really think you’re going to be the best fit,” he went on.

Up until that point, Scott had only asked me like two or three actual interview questions (aside from the stuff he asked me via email). Although I guess you can tell a lot about if someone would be a good fit by just having a conversation with them.

“Does this sound like something you’d be interested in? I know this isn’t what you were expecting from our meeting today.”

“I mean, I need to know more. What would a typical day look like?” I said.

“Great question, Reese. You’re in charge of doing whatever it takes to drive sales and be as profitable as possible. If that means you have to fire your entire staff and start over, then do it. But you better have a fucking good explanation and a game plan.” He laughed. “So I’m not exactly sure what a typical day will look like. It’s really up to you.”

“What kind of results are you expecting?” I asked.

Scott looked like that wasn’t a question he was expecting. “Well, I want an increase in sales of course. We need more money flowing in. I want to see cash.”

I nodded, wondering if he meant actual cash or just figuratively.

“When you think of luxury, what do you think?” he asked.

“Hermés,” I replied.

Scott looked confused for a moment then he laughed. “I haven’t heard that one, but yeah. Definitely.”

I shrugged.

“How much would it take you to leave?” he asked.

I blurted out a number and Scott nodded then told me he was going to get another coffee and be right back. I didn’t want him to see me texting or playing with my phone so I just sat there and politely waited.

When Scott came back, he didn’t have a coffee with him and kind of seemed out of breath.

“We’d like to bring you on board,” he said, sitting down. “With the salary you mentioned.”

“Oh, thanks!” I said, beaming.

“What are you thinking? Do you want some time to think about it?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ll need some time,” I told him. I could feel that our conversation was wrapping up so I grabbed my purse from the back of my chair. “Just a day or so.”

“Okay, a day. Just shoot me an email when you make up your mind either way. You’re the only person I’ve offered anything to. I want you, Reese,” Scott said.

I waited until Brady and I were on the plane going to Florida to tell him the story.

“So at this point I’m so miserable that I just might take this guy up on his offer. Today Dale sent out a mass email about how ‘we’ all need to do a better job of record keeping and organization, but his office is a disaster. He can never find anything when I ask for it,” I said.

“Are you genuinely interested in the position or is it just your way out?” Brady asked.

Good question. Obviously I was interested, I wouldn’t have wasted my time talking to Scott if I wasn’t.

“A little bit of both. Anything has to be better than what I’m doing now. But I would like to get into a more marketing role again. I miss some of the stuff I used to do. Plus it’ll be nice to get away from fucking Dale and Stacey,” I said.

“You are in a bad mood every night,” Brady replied. “Who knows if the grass is greener on the other side, but maybe you should take a leap of faith.” So many cliches.

Funny, the last time I took a “leap of faith” in my career, I ended up running back to my old job. For some reason I really doubt Dale will let me come back if I quit.

I decided to just enjoy my weekend and make a decision later. Brady’s grandparents were away so we had the house to ourselves, thank goodness. We immediately got in and showered then headed out for dinner. There was a Cuban restaurant within “walking distance” (Brady waited until we were halfway there to tell me it was almost a mile) so we walked there. I complained the whole time because it was humid.

I got some rice dish with shrimp and we also got a margarita pitcher. It was really, really strong.

“Oh my gosh… That’s potent,” I said after my first sip. I literally felt the drink go through my entire body.

We were pretty drunk after the first pitcher and Brady flagged a waiter down to bring another. I also ordered a lychee mojito and this is weird, but do y’all remember that baseball player Eric that I dated? The last time I had a lychee drink I was with him and I suddenly got these flashbacks of being with him and it made me nauseous. I was such a hot mess when I was with him (good times). So I kept drinking. I remember ordering a third pitcher, shots and signing the bill and leaving a $100 tip. There was a Cuban dance club attached that we wanted to go to and I can’t remember anything beyond that.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, my ass was super sore and I couldn’t swallow. My entire body hurt. I rolled over and nudged Brady, but he just pulled me close and snuggled me. We got up a little later and went downstairs to eat. We hadn’t seen Daniela (his grandparents’ housekeeper) since arriving, but somehow she knew we were there and had breakfast waiting. Daniela is actually so pretty. She kind of looks like Selena Gomez, but with lighter hair and features. I don’t think she speaks English and she greeted me, “Hola, Miss Reese,” which was so adorable.

“Why does my ass hurt?” I asked Brady while we ate our pancakes.

He smirked. “I have no idea. Is it bad?”

“Yeah, kinda. It’s uncomfortable to sit,” I said. And my butt still hurts today. I don’t know if I fell or what, but fuck.

We laid by the pool for literally the entire day. It was cloudy all day which sucked, but it was still relaxing. On Thursday of last week, Brady and I got drinks with a kid he went to high school with who just moved to Chicago for his residency. He was with another guy they went to high school with (and Brady was also in a fraternity with) so the three of them mostly talked about work and medical school while I sat there being bored.

The first guy was nice enough to at least ask what I do and what I studied in school (although I felt a bit inadequate as I typically do around Brady’s friends). At one point, Brady was talking to our waitress and I heard one of the guys say something like, “I can’t believe Brady’s tapping that.”

Tapping that? Apparently his friends think I’m just some sort of bimbo or something, not a serious girlfriend. I glared at him and he looked mortified that I heard him.

So I waited until we were having a nice relaxing day by the pool to bring it up to Brady.

“I just don’t understand why your friends would think that’s okay to say,” I said.

“That’s just how guys are. He meant nothing by it,” Brady explained.

“He meant something by it otherwise he wouldn’t have said it,” I pointed out. “I’m super offended.”

“It was a compliment. That’s his way of saying you’re unnaturally hot.”

I smiled against my own will. But still, that’s rude though, right? I can’t get “tapping that” out of my head. Way to make me feel slutty.

When we finally got tired of the pool and went back inside, Daniela had frozen margaritas waiting for us. And she was with another girl in the same black and white maid outfit. The second girl looked older and was a little chunky, but just as pretty as Daniela. She greeted us in Spanish and held a short conversation with Brady. We sat down at the bar and Daniela said something to the second girl while they looked at me. The only words I picked up were “mujer” and “mañana” which I remember from high school Spanish class. Brady glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” I asked defensively.

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

I really wish I knew Spanish. There are few things more uncomfortable than having a room full of people talking about you and not knowing what they are saying. Actually, I can think of a lot of things (like the current state of my ass), but that isn’t the point.

I just barely missed Brady’s grandparents on Sunday. As we were leaving to go to the airport, his grandmother called to say they were on their way home. She was disappointed when Brady told her we were leaving because she really wanted to meet me! From the stories Brady tells me about her she seems kind of unpleasant, but I am curious to meet her too.

Brady didn’t respond to any of Hailey’s messages all weekend (at least he can respect me enough not to text her while we were on vacation together), but they messaged a bit today. She asked him where he was this afternoon then when he told her she said, “I’M COMING TO SEE YOU!” in all caps like that. Such a child. A few hours later she said, “I forgot to ask about your vacation! How was it?!?!” She sounds so annoying. Brady never replied so he must agree.

I really like the idea of popping up at the gift shop where she works with Brady (I can’t remember whose idea that was, but genius), but I just can’t figure out how to do it without being super obvious. I really just want to make my presence known because obviously this girl knows nothing about me.

Today I had an awful day at work which just makes me want to accept Scott’s offer that much more. We are having some investors come visit later this week and Dale is being a total dick about it. The both of us are doing presentations and he kept telling me what I should and shouldn’t say and do even though I’ve done a million of these presentations. He should be asking me for tips. But of course, he’s my boss so I smiled and nodded and tried to avoid him.

I haven’t told Kendra about my new job offer because she already got on to me last time I switched jobs.

“Reese, you change jobs more than I change underwear. You can’t move around this much and try to build a serious career!” she lectured me. I can only imagine what she would say now. But Brady (who has a fantastic career obviously) told me to go for it, and I trust his advice. Plus, it’s not like I’ve had that many jobs in my life.

How was everyone else’s weekend?

I was a little sick on Friday and had to leave work early, but I was better by the time Brady got home from work. I think I just needed to sleep it off. I got up and we made dinner and decided we were going to go out with Kendra and John later. Oddly enough John texted Brady inviting us, but Kendra didn’t reach out to me at all. Weird because I thought we were supposed to be best friends.

Anyway, we made plans to go to this stupid pretentious bar and I wore a suede skirt, a v-neck and my over the knee boots. I was feeling so much better that we started taking shots before we even left the house. It was kind of funny how fast we went from, “So how was your day?” to “You’re literally the best thing that’s happened to me.” And also pretty sad that apparently we only feel that way when we’ve been drinking.

When we got to the bar Kendra and John were still en route so Brady and I got a pitcher and sat down at a table. Brady pulled out his phone and sat it on the table and I saw that he had a new message from Hailey. I couldn’t really tell, but I think it said, “How is your night?”

“Who’s that?” I asked pointing to his phone.

Brady picked it up and showed me. He had unlocked his phone and I could see that Hailey had sent the last three or four messages that Brady hadn’t responded to. “She works at the hospital.”

“Ohh!” I said, over the top dramatically.

“In the gift shop,” he continued.

I scrunched my nose. “I thought only elderly women worked in the gift shop.”

Brady shrugged. “I did too, but she’s still a student.”

“Wow, a student,” I echoed. “What does she want with you? Do you help with her homework?”

He laughed. “No. She brings me candy sometimes.”

“Why? It sounds like she has a crush on you.” I could see Kendra and John walking in and Kendra looking around for us.

“I think she’s just being nice,” Brady said.

“Being nice, Brady? You say that about everyone.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, really.”

“Why did you exchange numbers?” I asked and to my dismay, that’s exactly when Kendra and John found us.

“Uh, hey!” Kendra said, leaning down to hug me.

We all hugged and I scooted my stool closer to Brady to make room. He squeezed my knee and I gave him a look like, “We’ll finish this discussion later.” He nodded.

So we all finished off the pitcher that me and Brady had pretty much downed ourselves and ordered another one. Kendra and John were sipping slow and being adults, but Brady and I were already pretty trashed and kind of hogged the second pitcher too. Eventually I was ready to go find disgusting food and kept texting Brady begging to leave.

Luckily, Kendra’s started yawning. “I’m getting tired, you guys. I just can’t stay out late like I used to.”

“It’s been a long day,” John agreed with her.

We got up and started to leave, and I brought up that they better take advantage of being able to stay out late before they started having babies and stuff. Kendra laughed.

Brady grabbed my hips and said something like, “Maybe we’ll make one tonight.”

I turned and hit him playfully because that is literally the last thing we need. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Brady said there was a 24-hour taco place a little bit away so we walked. Literally everything on the menu sounded good so we got every kind of taco, burritos and chips and salsa. They had to give us two bags to carry all our shit.

We were really drunk so I started telling him that I was concerned about the current state of our relationship.

“What are you talking about? It’s fine,” Brady said.

“If you seriously think it’s fine then that’s our biggest problem,” I replied.

He looked offended.

“I just wanna go back to how we were when we first met,” I went on. “It was so fun and now we just fight all the time.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

I said something like, “I really love you and care about you, but if things don’t get better then we are going to break up.”

“I don’t want that. I love you too.”

“You’re really mean sometimes.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t intend to be mean.”

This went on for like an hour. Brady couldn’t apologize enough. He promised to try harder to be nice to me and I said I would do the same. We left all the extra food on the table and retreated to the bedroom. We had a fairly quick hookup sesh then I climbed off and cuddled him.

“So why did you and this student, Hailey, exchange numbers?” I asked.

Brady was starting to doze off, but that got his attention.

“I don’t know, Reese,” he whined. “She asked for it.”

“And you gave it to her?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say,” he continued whining.

“You say, ‘No, I have a hot, but psycho girlfriend at home so I can’t give you my number.'”

“That is true.”

I grabbed his face. “Do you think she’s hot?”

“No,” Brady said automatically.

“Be honest. She’s hot.”

“No. I’m not interested in her in that way. You’re hot, not her.”

“But she’s pretty.”

“She’s good looking, yeah. Not as good looking as you.”

It was kind of cute how Brady kept bringing the attention back to me. Atta boy. I kissed him.

“We need a vacation,” I pointed out. I know that I need my own vacation, but Brady and I were vibing so well that I wanted to take a getaway with him.

“Yeah. Let’s go to my grandparents’ next weekend,” he suggested.

I hadn’t even considered that as an option. Probably because I didn’t plan on vacaying with Brady.

I shrugged. “Okay.”

He grabbed my waist and squeezed me, kissing the side of my face. “I can’t wait. I’ll get our tickets.”

He let me go and I dozed off for a minute before he grabbed me again.

“Reese, I love you,” Brady said.

“Okay then act like it.”

“I know. I will.”

You know what’s crazy? I was hearing blog comments in my head like, “You need to act like it too.” Probably because I know I’m not the world’s greatest girlfriend either.

“I will too. We both need to try harder,” I said.

I was dozing off again, but Brady was ready for round two. What a long night. After we finished, I rolled over and passed out. I was so exhausted.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, Brady wasn’t in the bed and I assumed he was out getting breakfast. My assumption was correct and he came back in a few minutes later with French toast, eggs and bacon. So good.

We ended up spending the entire day together and it was so much fun. I had some things to return to Nordstrom so we went there first. I returned my items then we headed to the men’s department so I could pick out things for bae. Brady absolutely hates shopping, but he was trying so hard to be nice to me that he let me pick out a ton of stuff for him to try on. I thought it was a great time. I made him get a couple casual button downs, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and a thin springy sweater. I’m obsessed with all of it.

After Nordstrom we went for mani pedis. Well, I did because Brady refused. I told him that it’s not taboo for guys to get their nails done anymore, but he still wouldn’t. There was a pet store near the nail salon so I insisted we go there next. Tucker is always in need of new things, am I right? So I got him some organic treats, a more springy collar and harness, some dentist chews and several toys.

When we were in line to pay, Brady grabbed my shoulder and said, “You’re going to be such a great mom.”

I turned around and gave him a weird look. What the hell is wrong with him? All the baby comments were fucking weird. I didn’t even say anything back.

We headed to dinner after that. Brady continued being super nice and sweet and even asked me to come over to his side of the booth to sit by him. Usually I only do that when I’m being needy. We were in the restaurant for close to three hours just talking and ordering drinks and food. I don’t understand why it can’t always be like that. We weren’t doing anything at all, but it was so fun and easy.

By the time we got home, Tucker was pissed that we’d been gone so long. But he was happy about his new toys and treats. Brady and I considered going out with his friends that night, but we decided that we were too tired and wanted to stay in. So instead, we set up the guest bedroom in the basement. We bought all new bed linens and stuff for it and moved all the furniture from Chris’s old bedroom downstairs, but after setting everything up I realized that it was plain and bare and not welcoming at all.

So naturally I made a Pinterest vision board and made a list of items I needed to get. I decided on a rustic theme with muted colors and lots of wood and textures so we don’t have to get any new furniture. Can’t wait for it to all come together!

I got brunch with Kendra on Sunday. I told her about Brady’s baby and mom comments.

“So let me get this straight,” she said. “He’s afraid to commit to marriage, but he isn’t afraid to have a baby?”

“Apparently. Isn’t that strange? I just can’t believe he keeps saying stuff like that,” I said.

“Maybe he actually is ready to commit now. Have you talked about it lately?”

“Hell no!” I exclaimed. “I’m not bringing that up again.”

“You need to see where his head is. If I were you I wouldn’t be okay with him making comments like that, but claiming he doesn’t want to get married. He’s giving you mixed signals,” Kendra said.

“Well, maybe,” I thought out loud. “But maybe he doesn’t necessarily want to get married, but still wants to build a life with me and stuff.”

“Do you think his mother is going to go for that? He can’t even tell her that you’re living together and you think she’s going to be okay with you having children out of wedlock?” Kendra pointed out.

“Who fucking cares what she thinks? She doesn’t control my life.”

“Brady cares.”

True. So maybe I’m reading too much into it and Brady didn’t even mean anything by what he said, but I think he had a change of heart. Right?

We talked about Carly. They picked out a date; it’s going to be November of this year. She’s dead set on doing this deep red, wine color, but she’s having trouble picking an accent color. I keep trying to convince her that blush pink would be perfect with it, but she isn’t convinced. I even made a Pinterest board.

Brady hasn’t texted Hailey back since Friday night and I wonder if it’s because I confronted him about her. Maybe he feels guilty. I kind of feel like this is exactly like the Matt situation (the businessman from the plane) where Brady just likes the attention. I read through all their messages and he’s never mentioned me once. Well, at least he seems to have learned his lesson now.

Brady’s been moody lately. I had Monday off so I went to the grocery store then slaved away in the kitchen making a Greek inspired dinner. And a chocolate cake. I was pretty proud of myself and excited for Brady to try my dish. He ended up working late and was exhausted by the time he got home. He barely even said hi to me before getting in bed and going to sleep.

Brady must have felt bad about it because he woke me up the next morning and offered to take me to Starbucks and then to work. Yes please.

Luke was waiting for me in the design room when I got in. He had been there for an hour already working on ideas. When Luke is in the zone, he’s in the zone. He started rambling off ideas while I sipped my green tea latte, ate my donut and nodded. I heard footsteps and then saw Stacey walk in.

“Hey babies,” she said, hopping on the table next to me.

I didn’t even acknowledge her.

“I heard back from that job,” she said.

That got my attention. I turned to face her, hoping for good news.

“They want someone with more experience. So they offered me a junior position, but it only pays $42,000. I was hoping for at least $60k.”

I just couldn’t help putting my two cents in.

“Are you really in any position to be that picky right now? With no experience, it’ll be a good way to get your foot in the door. Plus, you’re still living at home so it’s not like you have a ton of expenses,” I said.

“I just want to be like you, Reese,” she said sweetly. “I want a high paying job with no experience and not have to do anything plus have a rich boyfriend who doesn’t make me pay for anything.”

“What are you talking about?” was all I could think to say back even though it was obvious what she was talking about.

Stacey started laughing like the maniac that she is. I glared at Luke because obviously he’d told her everything.

“Reese, you are literally goals,” she laughed. And then she reached over and grabbed my donut with her gross little fingers. She couldn’t break off a piece with just one hand so she started touching all over my donut.

“Can you fucking not?!” I exclaimed and grabbed the thing from her.

She’d managed to get a little piece off and popped it in her mouth while laughing.

I stormed out. Later on, Stacey went running around the office telling everyone that she’d gotten a lead on a major new account. I whispered to Luke, “Congrats on doing your job, bitch,” and he gave me a look.

“It’s just a lead?” I asked her. “What if it falls through?”

“It won’t fall through,” she said, flipping her hair at me.

I don’t even know why I continue trying to communicate with her. She’s just always in my face like a gnat and I can’t help it.

When I got home that night, I played with Tucker for a little bit then I made dinner and dessert and waited for Brady to get home. When he got home I was playing with Tucker on the floor of the living room. Brady walked past without saying anything and I got up and followed him.

“I made dinner. It’s from the Pioneer Woman,” I said.

“Could you have made a bigger fucking mess?” Brady asked, tossing a pan that I didn’t even end up using.

“I’m going to clean obviously,” I said.

He mumbled something about the place being disgusting and stormed out. I followed him.

“Did you have a bad day?” I asked as we walked toward the bedroom.

No response.

We got in the room and Brady said, “Of course, it’s a disaster in here too.”

I’ll admit, I made a bit of a mess when I was getting ready in the morning and I hadn’t had time to clean it up. But only because I’d come home and immediately started on dinner for Brady. I watched as he started picking stuff up off the floor – my boots, an empty shopping bag, etc. My makeup bag was sitting on the nightstand and I had some products sitting out and Brady grabbed all of it and shoved it in the empty shopping bag.

“What the fuck? Don’t touch my shit!” I exclaimed and pushed him. He held the bag out to me, so I could finish cleaning I guess, and stormed into the bathroom.

I heard the shower come on and I called my mom.

“Dad said he would help me buy a condo. I need him to find me one because I can’t live with this asshole anymore,” I said when she picked up.

“Babe, stop being mean to Brady. He’s so good to you,” she said.

Usually my mom only hears the good side of our relationship because I don’t like to tell her everything else (moms always hold a grudge) so she thinks he’s perfect.

“I made a Pioneer Woman recipe and he didn’t even eat it because he was too worried about the kitchen being a mess,” I ranted.

“You have to clean as you cook, sweetie,” my mom said in the most condescending voice ever. “Your dad has been teaching you that since forever.”

I was annoyed that she wasn’t taking my side so I told her I had to go and hung up. I thought if anyone would understand, it would be my mom. She’s messy like me and we had to hire a cleaning service to clean our house once a week. So she has some nerve telling me to clean as I cook. I finished picking up all my things from Brady’s room (it wasn’t even that bad) and moved it to the office. I decided that I would get ready there in the mornings instead. I’d loaded the dishwasher and was scrubbing the counters when Brady walked into the kitchen.

“Hey. I’m sorry,” he said immediately.

I glared at him. “You’re sorry? Why?” I just wanted him to admit that he was being a dick for no reason and own up to it.

“For yelling at you. Thank you for cleaning,” Brady said.

“Apology not accepted. I made a mess because I was making dinner for you. So leave me alone while I finish up in here.”

“I’ll help,” he said and picked up a sponge to help me with the counters.

I wanted to ask why he didn’t just help in the first place, but didn’t and we worked in silence for a little while.

Once we were done and the kitchen was sparkling clean, Brady asked, “Do you want me to go get ice cream?”

“Yes,” I said without even looking up at him.

After he left, I thought it would be a great time to get some gifts out of him so I texted him saying there were some things I wanted on Nordstrom.com and could I use his card to get it? He didn’t even ask how much it was and just said, “Yes.”

Sucker. I ordered a pair of sunglasses, the Hourglass ambient lighting edit highlighting palette plus the matching brush. So nothing too crazy, lucky for him.

When he got home, we sat in the living room and ate our ice cream and talked about our days. Brady is probably sick of hearing about Stacey too, but he still listens and tells me to ignore her, avoid her and not stoop to her level. So easy for him to say.

After we finished our ice cream, we started fooling around on the couch. It was long overdue. We never do anything besides kiss anymore and it’s equally weird and frustrating. It kind of freaks me out because we used to be super sexually active and have sex almost every single day. Makes me wonder if he’s getting it elsewhere. It doesn’t help that I keep having dreams at night of him hooking up with other girls. One of them appeared to be that Hailey girl (he was having sex with a petite blonde, but I couldn’t see her). Another night, I had a dream that Brady was sitting down and Stacey kept walking past him and rubbing his shoulders and stuff. Then eventually they disappear into a room. That dream offended me much more than the other one only because Stacey was involved. I wanted to kill her. She’s such a bitch, showing up in my dream and touching all over my man.

She made a comment about me living with Brady rent free again on Wednesday.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about so mind your own business,” I said back.

She started laughing, obviously. “It isn’t a bad thing, jeez. I wish I had a generous boyfriend too.”

Later on in the day Luke invited both of us to party on Saturday night and after Stacey said yes, I pretended I had other plans. Luke texted me and said, “Do you actually have plans or do you not want to go because she’s going?”

“The latter.”

“You’re petty,” he said.

I feel like Luke and I are drifting apart because he’s so close with Stacey and I hate her so much. It sucks, but I physically can’t be around her especially outside of work. So if he wants to hang out with her all the time, I’ll let him.

That Hailey girl texted Brady on Wednesday night and said, “Hey, do you still think you can make it on Friday night?”

They haven’t talked about anything happening on Friday so I don’t know what she’s referring to. Which leads me to believe that they must have seen each other in person recently. I just don’t understand where they could have met.

Brady replied, “I’ll let you know.”

That was the only time they messaged this week and I’m super duper curious to see what he does tonight, if he tells me he has plans or what. I’ve been checking her Facebook constantly trying to figure out who she is. So far, I haven’t found out anything. She and Brady aren’t even friends! It’s frustrating.

Y’all will be happy to know that I downloaded the Handy app and booked our first cleaning on Monday! I’m not going to tell Brady and pretend that I’m just getting better about cleaning. #lifehack

I’m sorry for continuously complaining about Stacey, but she’s so terrible. I’ve honestly never met someone with such an awful personality. She’s the worst!

On Monday, we had a staff meeting and Luke and I were planning out what we needed to present at the meeting. Stacey was sitting in the room with us sucking on an iced coffee because she had nothing better to do (obviously she has nothing important to present). Luke and I were throwing ideas back and forth and Stacey would cut in and give her terrible suggestions.

“Instead of saying that, you should just start showing the samples,” she interrupted.

And I said, “No Stacey, we need to start with the story behind the collection because I think that’s important.”

She said, “I think that’s dumb.”

As if I cared what she thought. That went on all morning until the meeting. On Tuesday we got into an actual argument. It was so dumb. We were all standing in the break room eating cake (it was someone’s birthday) and talking about an incident that happened the previous day. There’s a guy in our office who claims to be straight, but he flirts hardcore with Luke all the time. The previous day I saw the same guy flirting with another gay in the office so I decided to tell Luke so we could discuss.

“They were not flirting,” Stacey said, rolling her eyes.

“You weren’t even there!” I shot back.

“Yes, I was. I saw the whole thing and they were definitely not flirting,” she said.

I couldn’t remember if Stacey actually was there when the incident happened, but I couldn’t stand her arguing with me.

“I wasn’t even talking to you. You are so annoying,” I said.

Stacey started laughing.

Luke said, “Wait, so were they flirting or not? Tell me exactly what happened!”

“I don’t even want to talk about it anymore,” I said.

“Why, because it never happened?” Stacey taunted.

“Why are you even here? Do you not have any work to do? I never see you doing work!” I said.

“I never see you doing any work either. No one does!” Stacey laughed.

“You guys, stop fighting!” Luke exclaimed.

Stacey walked out and continued laughing.

“I seriously hate her,” I said after she was gone.

Luckily though, after our little fight we avoided each other for the rest of the week. We would pass each other in the hallway and break room and not say a word to each other which I didn’t mind at all. Luke tried to get me to talk her once but I had such a bad reaction that he didn’t try it again.

Brady left for Massachusetts on Friday after work and I decided that I would spend the weekend cleaning and catching up on laundry. Kendra invited me over for dinner on Friday night. Preston came too, but he brought Joe and they finished an entire bottle of wine by themselves. So they were being really obnoxious. Preston has flaked on me and ditched me a ton the past few months to hang out with Joe so I haven’t seen much of him. Apparently Joe is really insecure and doesn’t like to let Preston out of his sight. I don’t like him.

Lexi came over on Saturday night and the plan was to drink wine and eat chocolate, but it was one of her coworkers’ birthday so we headed to the bar to help celebrate. The birthday girl was actually super rude and demanded a gift from both me and Lexi. Bitch, my presence is your gift. I’d never even met her. But still, I bought her a tequila shot because I’m a great person. I had a ton of fun, but I hadn’t heard from Brady much during the day so I was really sad about that. I called him on my Uber ride home and he didn’t pick up so naturally I sobbed myself to sleep. It was ridiculous how much I missed him.

He came home on Sunday morning before I’d even gotten up for the day.

“I got you something,” he told me.

That got me out of bed. It was a fucking FitBit. I didn’t ask for that. But we are supposed to be training for some race (lol) so I guess that was nice of him to help me get started. So now I’m looking for one of those cute bracelets to put it in because it’s not my style at all. Any suggestions?

Later on in the day, as he was getting undressed, Brady told me he got a new tattoo.

I’m like, “Oh, okay. Wait, what?” because he made no mention of a fucking tattoo at all.

He shrugged and held his arm out so I could see it. It was on the inside of his bicep – a super hipstery tattoo location.

“What the fuck is that?” I asked.

Brady explained that it was the symbol for pharmacy and called it some weird name. But it was a snake wrapped around a cup. It was hideous.

“Why did you get it?” I asked, trying not to sound super judgmental even though I was absolutely judging.

“Honestly, I had too much to drink. I shouldn’t have done it,” Brady said.

“Wait,” I smiled. “You got drunk and did something you shouldn’t have?”

He smiled back sheepishly.

“You can always get it covered up with a picture of me,” I suggested and Brady laughed.

I’ve been looking at Brady’s messages again. I felt bad about it and decided not to do it for a while, but while he was gone I just couldn’t help it. He’s been texting this girl named Hailey. She seems super flirty and told him to have a great trip home and kept asking him how things were going and sending him pictures of her drinks and food. Obviously I looked this broad up on Facebook and she graduated from high school in 2013 and she’s still in college! What the fuck is Brady doing talking to a college student? She can’t be older than 21. She’s cute – blonde hair/blue eyes and definitely fits the description of Brady’s mistress. Brady isn’t necessarily flirting with her back, but he’s being way nicer than I’d like him to be. How can I ask who she is without admitting that I’ve been reading his messages? He will be pissed plus I don’t want to lose access to read them! It’s addicting!

Do y’all remember that girl Maddi that Brady works with? She was nice enough, but she sent Brady some kissing emojis about a year ago and I haven’t heard much from her since. She followed me on Instagram yesterday. My page is wide open so I just think it’s weird that she followed me. I feel like she’s just being nosy, but also wants me to know she’s being nosy. Or maybe she’s genuinely interested in my life. I think everyone’s the enemy.

I don’t think I have anything else to say. Except that I got three or four inches cut off my hair and I love it. I feel like I look a million times better. Is that dramatic? A good haircut can change your life. I also spent an ungodly amount of money on makeup and beauty products last week and Sephora is probably as sick of me as I am sick of them. How was y’all’s weekend?

Brady telling me he didn’t want to get married was unsettling and it was all I could think about on Wednesday. I honestly wasn’t mad at him. I couldn’t bring myself to be. It just sucked.

Like I said, he was extra nice all day then in the afternoon he texted me letting me know that he was staying at work and getting drinks with his coworkers afterward. It was someone’s birthday. All I said was, “Cool.”

And he added, “You can come if you want.”

Obviously he only said that out of pity so I declined. I spent the evening watching tv, eating everything in sight and replying to comments. Brady said they would just go out for a few drinks, but I was in bed by the time he got home. I pretended to be sleeping while he quietly got undressed and then slid in the bed with me and Tucker. Brady wrapped his arms around my waist and spooned me, kissing my shoulder.

I let him get settled in for a few minutes then I rolled over so I was facing him.

“Hi,” Brady said. I could smell the beer and all the alcohol on his breath.

It was pitch black so he couldn’t see my smile. I put my arms around him and rubbed the side of his cold face and neck as a greeting.

“I love you,” he murmured.

I stopped rubbing. “Oh, you do?”

“I do.”

“That’s nice. But you don’t want to marry me.”

“I don’t know.”

“What does that mean?”

“Marriage is scary.”

“How is it scary?”

Silence. So I continued.

“If you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with then it shouldn’t be scary at all.”

I guess this was the issue at hand – whether or not Brady wanted to spend his life with me. Totally acceptable if he didn’t want to or didn’t know, but I needed to know if I was wasting my time with him.

“What if I think I do now, but in a few years things change?” Brady asked in a soft voice.

“Why would that happen?” I probed.

“People change. Feelings change. Situations change.”

Something told me that Brady was speaking from personal experience. That thought didn’t even occur to me, but maybe that’s Brady being realistic and me living in some fantasy land.

“That’s a pretty pessimistic way to think,” I said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I don’t understand what kind of future you want if you aren’t interested in marriage.”

“I really don’t know.”

Silence.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Brady said. When he said that I thought he meant he didn’t want me to move out because that’s certainly what I’d been thinking. “I want you in my future.”

“I do too, but I want to get married one day. If you don’t think that will ever happen with us then I’m not sure if I should stay.”

“Okay.”

Oh-fucking-kay. I sighed.

“I don’t want to do that right now. I want to enjoy each other without all the pressure of it. Is that selfish?” Brady said.

“I dunno. I guess not. But I don’t want to waste my time if you have no intentions of ever getting married. You know I want to get married, Brady,” I replied.

“I know.”

I kind of wanted to strangle him. Like give me some damn answers! I sighed again.

“I just need time,” he said. “But if you want to leave me, I get it.”

“Time for what?”

I felt Brady grab my shoulders, pulling me closer. “To give you what you want.”

Marriage? It was like he was afraid to say the word. But I figured it wasn’t an exact and direct no so I was going to take it. “Okay.”

Brady continued being nice the next day, making me breakfast and offering to get off work early to take me to dinner. I accepted. We went to a barbecue place that wasn’t exactly romantic, but it was delicious and that’s all that matters. We didn’t bring up our conversation from the night before and I hoped that he wasn’t too drunk to remember that it happened.

I talked to Kendra about it.

“It sounds like he has some growing up to do,” she told me. “It took John seven years to propose. I think it’s fair for him to ask for more time.”

“I can’t believe you never got impatient. Seven fucking years,” I said.

“There was no rush. We knew we were going to be together forever. Forever is a long time, Reese,” she lectured me.

I guess I get that, but I feel like before we get engaged, anything could happen. There’s no guarantee. Plus my ring finger is itching.

When Brady and I got home from dinner, we sat in the living room watching Netflix and working on our laptops. I was looking up destinations for my solo vacay. It started to get late and Brady shut his laptop and got up and yawned.

“Coming to bed, babe?” he asked.

“Yeah, hold on. Let me just bookmark this,” I said, not looking up.

I met him in the bedroom and asked, “Is the weather nice in Belize this time of year?”

“Nice. It’s a tropical climate so there is rarely unsatisfying weather. Why?”

“I’m planning a trip.”

Brady looked at me. “When? I probably can’t get any time off until March or April.”

Oh, awkward. I couldn’t even look at him so I shimmied past him to the bathroom. “I’m going alone.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t mention it again.

I got in a fight with Stacey on Friday and I really don’t think I’ll speak to her again. In the morning, I was talking to Luke about some designs and how they hadn’t turned out exactly how we were envisioning. We had gotten a sample a few weeks ago and made some tweaks which Stacey was there for. She tried to input a ton of ideas that obviously we didn’t use because she knows nothing. So Luke and I were complaining about the final sample.

“I told you not to do that, Reese,” Stacey said matter-of-factly. “You should’ve listened to me.”

“You don’t know anything about design,” I said dismissing her.

She laughed like that was the funniest thing she’s ever heard. So annoying.

In the afternoon, I found her hanging out with Luke in the design room even though she has no business being in our suite. I kind of rolled my eyes at her when I saw her. She and Luke were talking about college and all the drugs they did.

“Yeah, this one time I was tripping on acid and I thought the ceiling was on fire,” Stacey was saying. “I was literally screaming and rolling on the floor like this.” She was sitting on the table next to my work bag and she dropped to the ground to demonstrate, knocking my bag and its contents down with her.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaimed.

Stacey laughed uncontrollably and rolled around on the floor with my belongings. She was literally rolling on my makeup bag and headphones and phone charger and stuff.

“Can you fucking get up? What’s your problem?” I continued ranting, while picking my things up.

Luke came over and helped Stacey up because she couldn’t stop laughing. I was seriously so pissed that I called Brady at work to tell him what happened.

“She’s lucky nothing is broken,” I sniffled.

“I understand. Maybe just try to stay away from her for a while. It sounds like you’ve been butting heads a lot lately,” Brady said.

“Because she sucks. I hate her. She’s the stupidest human being on the planet!” I continued.

Brady managed to calm me down by telling me that he’d bring macarons home.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I woke up on Saturday and made a huge, ridiculous breakfast just because I could. Then we spent three hours cleaning the entire house top to bottom. I talked Brady into getting a new couch. It’s white. He was hesitant about getting white because of Tucker, but I assured him it would be fine as long as we do a good job maintaining it. Brady loves keeping clean so I’m sure we won’t have to worry about it.

We went to a dive bar on Saturday night. It was gross out, but we were going stir crazy inside. I ordered a beer and tots and Brady and I spent the night getting drunk and making friends with the bartender.

I haven’t decided on my vacation yet, but Brady is visiting his parents next weekend which is so dumb. There’s no special occasion, he’s just going for fun. What the hell? Since when is his parents’ house fun? He didn’t even invite me, which is fine because I don’t want to go. So maybe I’ll have a party. Anyone in?

Going back to work on Monday was so hard. I hardly even thought about work at all on my break and as soon as I walked in the office I started hating my life again. One of the first people I saw was Dale. I’d stopped at Starbs on the way to work and gotten an extra pastry because I was feeling piggish, but when I saw Dale I decided to give it to him.

“Hey Dale!” I chirped. “I brought you something!”

He took the bag from me and peeked in. “Oh, a scone? I don’t like those.” Then handed the bag back to me.

Like, how ungrateful can you be? I ended up throwing the stupid thing away because I was so annoyed.

Stacey called in sick, again. I asked Luke what her problem is.

“I think she has another job interview,” he informed me.

“That’s like, not okay. She can’t just do that,”
I said.

“Well, what should she do then?” Luke snapped.

“Schedule them for a time she’s not working obviously!”

“That’s a little bit hard when she’s always working,” Luke said, matter-of-factly.

“I literally don’t even care. Hopefully she gets a new job soon,” I said and we dropped it.

Preston texted me on Monday.

“Carly’s ring? U G L Y,” he said.

“That’s mean,” I replied. “I think it’s cute for her.”

“The green though? It looks like phlegm,” he continued.

I didn’t respond.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” he asked.

“No. Idk. I haven’t thought about it. Why?” I said.

“I just feel like it happened out of nowhere. Why are they suddenly wanting to get married? She’s totally pregnant.”

I thought about it and remembered that Carly was taking shots with us on NYE so she can’t be pregnant. I told Preston this. He still believed his theory that she’s pregnant and they are rushing. Whatever.

I go to this deli by the office that I go to all the time sometimes for lunch. I went for lunch on Tuesday and ended up next to this guy at the salad bar. He struck up a conversation with me by saying he loves coming to this place when he’s in Chicago.

So of course I’m like, “Oh, where are you from?”

He smiled and said, “Guess.”

I detected a bit of an accent, maybe European so I figured it must be somewhere over there. He was pretty tall and muscular, bald but had a bit of a 5 o’clock shadow, and green eyes. He wasn’t even hot, he was sexy.

“Um, Greece?” I guessed.

He looked surprised. “Really? I’ve never heard that one. I’m from Jordan.”

I said, “Oohhh,” and nodded.

“Do you even know where that is?” he asked.

Busted.

I smiled. “Over there somewhere.”

“Six thousand miles away. I come here once a month,” he told me.

I asked why and we proceeded to have a kind of flirty conversation (him inviting me to Jordan, offering to show me around, me smiling coyly) while building our salads. A little blonde girl wearing a beanie came and stood in between with two sandwiches on her plate.

“I’m going to pay and sit down,” she told him.

He said goodbye to me and the two went on their way. I paid for my meal and sat down a few tables away from them. I didn’t think anything of it and ate my food while doing some work. A little while later, the guy leaned over his table to talk to me. The girl was gone.

“Hey!” he said. “Just so you know, we are not together. She is not my girlfriend.”

I gave him a weird look. “Um, okay. I don’t care if she is.”

He leaned back into his seat. “Okay. I just wanted to let you know.”

Guys are real dicks.

When I got home I started looking at recipes to make for dinner on Pinterest. I wasn’t in the mood for anything and definitely wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere so I texted Brady asking him to bring something home. He ended up getting tacos (Taco Tuesday, hello!) and we sat in the dining room eating them.

We talked about Carly and Chris again. Carly had texted me during the day asking if I had any ideas for venues (they are getting married in Chicago). I asked him if he had any ideas and if he wanted to get married in a church because there’s a really beautiful church in Houston that I’ve always wanted to get married in. Of course, Brady started clamming up and getting all quiet which I find annoying.

“You know, if we get engaged we don’t have to get married right away. Some people have engagements as long as two or three years,” I said just to make him feel better. I will never stay engaged for that long.

Brady nodded.

“So yeah.”

And then Brady dropped a motherfucking bombshell on me. Without looking up he said, “I don’t even know if I want to get married at all.”

“Wait, what?” I exclaimed.

“It’s not you. I just don’t really see the point.”

“Brady!” I have never, ever heard Brady say that he has no interest in getting married at all. I know he gets all weird and doesn’t like to talk about it, but he’s never flat out said he doesn’t want to. “Where is this coming from?”

He shrugged, still not looking up at me. “I don’t know. It just seems pointless to me. If two people love each other, what is marriage going to change? If anything it makes it more complicated.”

“So if we are together for – I don’t know – fifteen years, unmarried, and one day you decide to just up and leave, you think it’s fine not to have consequences? You don’t have to pay? You can just leave?” I said.

Brady finally looked up at me. “Is that what it’s about for you?”

“No, but I think that would be really shitty.”

“I think it’s even more shitty to stay in a marriage because no one wants to deal with the consequences,” Brady pointed out.

I didn’t say anything. I felt tears forming. He’s kind of right. I don’t even really believe in divorce (because once you’re married, you’re married for life), so how awful and miserable would it be to stay in a marriage because I don’t believe in divorce?

“I just see how messy it can get. I don’t want that,” he said.

“I don’t either!” I exclaimed. “Who does? And who goes into a marriage thinking so negatively? Of course it’s going to fail if you think it will.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I can’t believe you’re just now saying this. You know how much I want to get married. To you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not ruling it out. I just-” Brady started, but I cut him off because I literally just couldn’t.

“Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t even care.”

We finished our food and I cleaned and did laundry and avoided the bedroom where Brady was. When I finally got in bed, he tried fooling around which is crazy because we hardly ever even have sex anymore. Maybe like once a week. So I pushed him off and told him that I was tired.

So I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t be mad at him and I’m not, but I feel like I’m wasting my time. I want to move out. Not even to be dramatic – I just need space. And Brady has been being super nice today. He made me breakfast before he went to work, called me on a break just to talk and even asked if I wanted him to get me tickets to Coachella. I’m working from home today so I haven’t left the bed. If I move out do I get to take Tucker?

I know Brady isn’t perfect or anything like that, that’s not what I meant in my last post. But as far as I know, he doesn’t snoop or go through my phone or messages which I’m totally guilty of. Not only that, I had no reason to do it and didn’t even find anything incriminating. I feel bad about it. I don’t think Brady would invade my privacy like that and it’s really sad that I would do it to him. And also that I would lie about sleeping at Lexi’s and accept a really expensive gift from a man. I would kill him if he did any of that to me. Speaking of which, I have the Louis Vuitton bag hidden in my trunk. If Brady sees it he will accuse me of shopping and spending too much money (now I’m depressed so I actually am shopping) and if I tell him where it really came from he will think Marco and I have something going on. Which we don’t. Does anyone want a new Louie bag?