worst case of blue balls of his life.

All four of us met for happy hour on Wednesday and I was so glad we were all being reunited. We’ve all been so wrapped up in our own things that we haven’t had a chance to see each other. Carly swung by and got me from work so we could meet Kendra and Preston at a spot on the west side.

We sat at a hightop table and ordered drinks and mozzarella sticks.

“How’s your new position?” I asked Kendra as we waited for our goodies to come.

“Honestly, it’s kind of stressful. Before I was basically just the office bitch and now I’m transitioning into a more important role. I’m helping do research and making appearances in court. This is actually what I went to school for,” Kendra said.

“And they still have you dressing like Kohl’s had a liquidation sale, I see,” Preston said. 

We all laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t mind it though,” Kendra said.

“It probably helps keeps the guys at bay. We don’t need another scandal with an intern.” Preston looked pointedly at me.

“Whatever happened with that? Have you talked to him?” Kendra asked.

“No. Fuck him,” I scoffed. 

“I think that was the problem,” Preston said and everyone laughed.

I rolled my eyes and explained to them what’s been going on in the office lately with Whitney and Amanda.

“Reese, you’re so above that,” Kendra said. “Those girls are loving getting under your skin. Don’t let them distract you from doing your job.”

“That’s exactly what Brady said!” I practically shouted.

“How’s our favorite nerdy pharmacist doing?” Preston asked.

“Good,” I said coyly. I couldn’t help smiling and blushing at hearing his name. Ugh. What’s happening to me?

“Chris said he really likes you!” Carly put in just as the waitress brought our drinks and a tray of mozzarella sticks.

“Really? Chris said that?!” I exclaimed. Obviously Brady likes me, but if he’s discussing his feelings with Chris then that’s major.

Carly finished chewing the stick she had shoved in her mouth. “Yeah. He said Brady talks about you all the time.”

“What does he say?!” 

I was dying to know what Brady thinks. Does he think I’m relationship material? Does he think I’m a dumbass? Does he want to fuck me?!

“Chris didn’t say. Good things obviously.”

I made a mental note to ask Carly to pry Chris and find out exactly what was said. I must know! 

Preston began telling us about his boyfriend, who he refers to as Mr. Murphy which is weird. Apparently Mr. Murphy is very successful in the stock market and just bought a Tesla S. 

“I’m hoping he buys a car for me next,” Preston said.

I would love a boyfriend who would just take me on random vacations and buy me a car. I wonder if Brady is opposed to it. I mean, apparently he does like me “a lot.”

After happy hour and several beers, Carly was supposed to drop me off then go to Chris and Brady’s. I told her that I would just go with her. I could surprise Brady! I wasn’t sure what time he got off work, but it was almost 9:00. Surely he wasn’t still slaving at the hospital.

Chris let us in and I immediately asked if Brady was home.

“Yeah, he’s in the dining room,” Chris replied and I pushed past him.

I found Brady sitting at the dining room table engrossed in his laptop. He didn’t see me approaching so I squealed, “Hiii!” and jumped in his lap.

“Hey!” he said, surprised.

I kissed him. “Long time no see, huh?”

“I was beginning to forget what you look like,” Brady said. 

“What are you working on?” I asked, turning toward his MacBook. A spreadsheet with a bunch of names and numbers filled the screen.

“Just some stuff for work.”

“You’re off the clock now. Put your work away and have fun.” I turned back toward him and tugged his tie. I do believe in working hard – when I’m at work. As soon as I leave the office, I want nothing to do with any of that shit. 

Brady didn’t say anything or move so I reached over and shut his laptop. I felt his body kind of deflate.

“Are you a workaholic, Brady?” I asked, sensing that he wanted to continue working.

“Not really, but I wanted to finish that tonight,” he answered.

“Finish it later. Let’s go to your room.” I hopped up and dragged him out of his chair and down the hall to his bedroom.

“What did you do tonight?” Brady asked as he untied his tie.

“We went to happy hour. It’s our Wednesday tradition, duh,” I answered. I sat on the bed and started taking selfies for SnapChat.

“Duh? Is that something I should’ve known?”

“You should have my entire life and schedule memorized by now,” I said, not looking up from my phone.

“Got it. Give me a second to write that in my planner.”

I looked up and Brady was taking off his dress shirt so he was just in slacks and a white undershirt. He looked so damn hot. I watched him place his tie and shirt in the closet then come back out and sit on the bed next to me. I could smell his cologne – Armani or something – and it was intoxicating.

“You smell good,” I said.

“Thank you.”

We just kind of looked at each other and for the first time I could actually feel the sexual electricity between us. It wasn’t just me this time. He had a lusty look in his eyes and I could tell that he wanted me. We leaned in and started making out, kind of timidly at first then he wrapped an arm around my waist and used his body to push me back on the bed. He pulled my shirt over my head then I took his off and ran my hands along his smooth toned back. He began kissing me with more aggression and rubbing my bare thighs. Thank God I shaved. 

I reached down and fussed with his belt buckle until I got it undone then unzipped and unbuttoned his pants. I could feel that he was hard. Brady moved down to my neck and I let out an agonized moan. I could feel his dick on my leg and more than anything I wanted him inside me. My vagina was literally pulsating for him. But then I got these images in my head. Kendra rolling her eyes. BJ smirking up at me in my bed. Eric. Eric’s breakup text. Diana glaring at me across her desk. I couldn’t have sex with Brady. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I’ve denied guys sex before (all the time actually) but only when they were douchebags and I didn’t care if they were pissed. But Brady wasn’t being a douchebag and I didn’t want him to have to say no to him. So I had no idea what to do. 

I quickly pushed him off and jumped off the bed.

“Let’s go hang out with Carly and Chris,” I said, putting my shirt back on. It was the only thing I could think to say. I turned back to the bed where Brady was laying, shirtless with his pants undone. He looked bewildered, hurt almost, and I felt awful that I had gotten him all worked up. 

“I will meet you there,” he finally said after almost a full minute. 

I found Carly and Chris in the basement and by the time I got down there I was so aggravated with myself. Could I have handled it any more ungracefully? Brady probably thinks I’m some sort inexperienced, prude virgin. I should’ve politely explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing anything more than kissing. He would understand. But I was the one who started undressing him so he probably thinks I’m bipolar and crazy in addition to everything else. Which I am, honestly.

I sat down watching Chris and Carly for a moment then I realized that I really, really just wanted to leave. I didn’t want to see Brady.

“Carly, can we leave?” I suddenly asked.

“Right now? Can Brady take you?” she asked. 

“Yes now! Please.”

Carly looked at me, concerned, then turned back to Chris. “I gotta go.”

I knew I was being a brat, but at that moment I didn’t care. She and Chris took ten minutes to say their goodbyes then I dragged her out of there without saying goodbye to Brady. I’ll make up an excuse later.

“What was that all about? Did something happen with you and Brady?” Carly asked on the way to my apartment.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “I probably just gave him the worst case of blue balls of his life.”

“Did you guys hook up?!” Carly’s eyes got wide.

“Not quite. But he wanted to. And I wanted to. But I’m trying to refrain from having sex with him.”

“If you both want to then why are you still waiting?”

“Because…” Carly obviously doesn’t realize what I’m trying to achieve here. “Kendra concluded that sex always ruins things with me and guys. And I actually don’t want to ruin things with Brady.”

She gave me a warm smile. “That’s the cutest thing ever, Reese. How long are you going to be able to wait though?”

Good question. 

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what an amateur mistake.

Brady and I texted all day on Friday. Well as much as we could with him being busy with work. We decided that we would do the beach Saturday afternoon so after work I got a wax and a new suit (obviously).

We met at Brady and Chris’s place at 1:00 PM. We were supposed to just meet them there then immediately go the beach near their house, but Chris and Carly disappeared to his room. Those two have turned into horny teenagers lately, hooking up whenever they get an opportunity (and making opportunities when necessary). 

While we waited for them to be ready, Brady asked if I was hungry. I was actually starving because I had fasted all morning and the evening before (who wants to look like a beached whale in front of their future husband?). I told him I was fine so we sat at the dining room table talking. It was really sweet because he asked about things I told him on Friday. He actually listened and cares and I’m not used to that. Then I started to feel bad that we were just talking about me so I asked him to tell me more about his job since I’m not even sure exactly what he does.

Finally, Chris and Carly emerged so we walked down to the beach. It was obviously packed, but we managed to find a spot to set up camp. Carly and I immediately took our caftans off and oiled up. The sun wasn’t really out, but it was hot so we took advantage.

“Seriously? That’s what you guys came here to do?” Chris asked. 

“What?” Carly said. “What else are we supposed to do?”

Chris picked Carly up and threw her over his shoulder. “This!”

Carly and Chris played in the water while Brady and I sat back on the towels. He kept his shirt on which I found really annoying and childish. 

“Aren’t you going to get in the water?” Brady asked me.

“Yeah, maybe later,” I said even though I knew it wasn’t true. I love going to the beach and pool, but I actually hate getting wet. I can’t be the only one, right? 

We sat there and people watched and talked until Chris and Carly got back. The four of us hung out and lounged and it was really laidback. I did notice that I never caught Brady checking out my body or chest which I found weird because my boobs looked really good. I even caught Chris looking at my chest. 

Eventually we got hot and tired of the tourists so we decided to get food. We walked to a bar and grill not far from their place. We started with a round of shots then ordered food. Everyone ordered cheeseburgers and fries and heavy stuff, but since I was still in my bathing suit (with a coverup over it but still) so I got two avocado and prosciutto crostinis. Oh and a Long Island. Brady asked if I was sure that’s all I was going to eat and his concern was really cute.

We had another round of shots and I noticed that I was getting more talkative and touchy. I kept grabbing Brady’s hand and rubbing his thigh. He didn’t seem to mind and started grabbing my hand back and putting his arm around my shoulders. 

Carly needed to go to the restroom and obviously I went with her. As soon as I stood up, I realized I was drunk. I hadn’t eaten in almost twenty hours so of course. What an amateur mistake.

When we got to the bathroom, I explained to Carly the situation. 

“You’ll be fine. Just keep eating and you should be able to drink whatever you want,” she assured me.

I got back out there and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries, but I was drunk and grossed out by the thought of eating anything. Chris kept ordering us shots and the day started to get fuzzy.

I recall walking to the duplex from the bar (and venting to Brady about something work related), causing a scene in their kitchen with Carly, and making out with Brady on his bed (!!!???). I passed out at some point after that.

I woke up freezing under a mound of white blankets. At first, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized that I was in Brady’s bed and started remembering the day, being intoxicated and making out with Brady. God. So much for keeping Drunk Reese underwraps. Brady probably thinks I’m psychotic.

I laid there for a moment, checking my phone. It was 10:30 PM and I only had one new text message from my mom who said she was going to a party and wanted my opinion on what to wear. 

“LBD and lace up pumps,” I told her without even asking what kind of party, who would be there, etc. 

I sent a text to Kendra next. “Got drunk and made out with Brady. What do I do?”

I pushed back the thick comforter and saw that I had ditched my coverup and was laying there in just my bikini. Ugh. I found it abandoned on the side of the bed, threw it on and headed out the door. Brady was walking into his room as I was walking out. He had changed into a pair of lightweight sweatpants, a t-shirt and sleek black glasses. I had no idea he even wore glasses, but he looked so, so sexy.

“Hi,” I said, shyly.

“Hey! You’re up,” he said smiling. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. Just fucking starving. Is Carly still here?” 

Brady laughed. “Yeah. We’re all hanging out downstairs. There’s pizza.”

“How did you know that’s exactly what I wanted?” 

“Telepathy, I suppose.”

I just smiled back.

“So we’ve got pepperoni and peppers and plain cheese. I’m sensing you’re a cheese girl.”

“Are you calling me boring?”

“Not at all. I think you’re too sophisticated for pepperoni.”

“Thanks. There are few things I’m too sophisticated for though,” I said.

Brady crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. “I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. Just petty drama at work, bottom shelf vodka, and polyester. I really am quite simple and easy to please.”

He smiled at me, amused. “Good to know.”

We talked for a while longer then headed to the basement. I wolfed down two slices of pizza (one of each topping) then I was ready to leave. Carly planned on spending the night so Brady offered to take me home. On the way to my apartment he mentioned that he had fun and wanted to hang out again, but we made no plans. When we got to my place, he hugged me and we kissed briefly. 

So there’s that.

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date me then.

On Friday night, I texted all my friends letting them know that I’d had a long week and needed to drink. Kendra, John, Carly and I were going to a club that none of us had been to so I wanted to look hot/sexy/dtf/etc. I decided on a white bodycon dress with my hair down and wavy. Carly came over to pregame and by the time Kendra and John came to pick us up, Drunk Reese was ready to party.

When we got to the club, I immediately went to the bar and found a guy to take a tequila shot with me. Turns out he is a cop, a really effing hot one too. I hung out with him while Carly, Kendra and John danced. I can’t remember what we talked about, but somehow we are now friends on Facebook.

Carly came skipping over after a while.

“Reesie Cup!” she squealed, hugging me. “Chris and Brady are coming!”

“What? They’re coming here?”

“Yes, they’re on their way. They were at a bar nearby so I told them to come see us,” she explained. 

“Carly, I’m drunk as fuck. Brady can’t see me like this!” I exclaimed.

“You’re fine, babe. He won’t even notice.”

I turned to the bartender and ordered a water in the largest cup they had. I needed to sober up fast – I couldn’t let Brady see me in this state. The bartender slid me a glass of water and I downed it. I demanded another and downed it too. Then I ran to the bathroom and peed it all out. While I was in the bathroom I checked to make sure that I still looked like a bombshell and the bathroom attendant girl assured me that I did.

When I got back out there, Carly was screaming on the phone trying to explain to Chris where we were. She hung up and said, “They’re here.”

For the next thirty seconds I stood there trying to give myself a pep talk. I hadn’t seen Brady in almost two weeks and he ignored my text when I did try to reach out. So I wasn’t sure what to say.

Carly squealed loudly which alerted me that they had shown up. Brady walked in behind Chris looking sexy in a white short sleeved button down and nice jeans.

They both hugged Carly then Chris gave me a drunk hug and Brady followed suit.

“Hey, how are you?” Brady said then he lightly grabbed my waist and pulled me into a hug.

“Hi,” was all I could think to say. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

We pulled apart and he kept a hand on the small of my back. “How is your night going?”

“It is going extremely well,” I said slowly, so I didn’t fumble over my words. “How’s yours?”

“Same here. We just witnessed a bar fight. Crazy stuff.”

“Mmm,” was all I said. 

“What are you drinking?” 

We made our way to the bar and ordered Bud Lights and stood there drinking. He asked about my week and I vaguely told him about my trip to New York. I couldn’t let him know the details of my hot mess life yet.

Suddenly, Brady said, “You are really pretty.”

I was caught off guard, but said “Thank you” automatically.

“No really,” he went on. “You are beautiful. And you look especially beautiful tonight.”

I studied his face to see if I could read him since all of this was coming out of nowhere. I noticed that his eyelids were low and his eyes were bloodshot. Brady was hammered.

“Thank you,” I said again.

“You know, it is kind of intimidating,” he said, leaning on the bar. 

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pretty, you’re confident, you’re smart, you have a great career… Usually pretty girls are just pretty, but you have it all together.”

I have it all together? That was so far from the truth that it was hilarious. I was going to let him believe that though.

“Like, you’re the full package. I would love to date you, you know?”

“Date me then,” I said boldly.

“You’re only saying that because you’re drunk.”

Normally I get annoyed with insecure guys, but Brady made insecure look totally adorable. I wanted to hug him and rest his head on my boobs.

“No I’m not. Ask me on a date,” I said. 

He smiled. “Reese, will you go on a date with me?”

I couldn’t help smiling back. “Of course.”

He suggested dinner on Wednesday night and said he could pick me up after he got off work. I really hoped that he wasn’t just saying all this because he was drunk. 

Brady and I spent the rest of the night hanging out. We talked, drank, held hands, and danced. He even waited outside the bathroom while I talked to the attendant girl for fifteen minutes about how I was in love. I wondered if this was what having a real boyfriend was like.

After a while, we were all hungry and decided to get food. There was a food truck down the block so naturally that’s where we ended up. The guys stood in line to get the food while Kendra, Carly and I stood close by. 

“You guys,” I whispered loudly. “Brady and I are going on our first date on Wednesday. I think we’re actually a couple!”

“You’re a couple and you haven’t even been on a date yet?” Kendra smirked. 

“I know!” I whisper-yelled back. “Things are moving really quickly!”

I turned and looked longingly at Brady. He and John were having a conversation and laughing. My heart just swells for him in a way that I can’t explain.

They brought back tacos or something I wanted nothing to do with, and we all sat at the curb eating. Afterward, Kendra and John were ready to leave and offered to take me home. Carly was going home with Chris so the six of us split in half. Before we parted ways, Brady said, “I will see you on Wednesday.”

He kissed me on the cheek and we hugged before the three of them walked to the el stop. 

So now I think I have a dinner date on Wednesday. I’m actually kind of nervous. What should I do/not do/wear? 

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sunday funday.

Preston got a complimentary table in VIP at a new nightclub on Sunday night so we used that as an excuse to indulge in some Sunday Funday shenanigans. We all met at my place to get ready and I decided to wear a lace Free People bodycon dress, Jimmy Choos and sexed up beach waves. Very boho chic. We took a shot of vodka and toasted to a good night before we cabbed to the club. 

When we got to the club, we ordered a bottle of Patron and a bottle Belvedere to celebrate the fact that it was Sunday. This quickly turned into Carly and me twerking on the table and fighting off random guys. Sorry, we party. Preston ended up finding a guy from Grindr who hung out with us and quickly became my second favorite gay ever (he told me I looked “tiny” and “seductive” so he won points with me).

After a while, Carly and I wanted to mingle with other people in VIP and get a cocktail so we grabbed our friends and made our way to the bar. I ordered a Long Island and took a look around the VIP area. There were eight tables total – all filled with attractive club goers – and then leather couches lining the wall. 

I was drunk, but totally coherent and I thought I saw Eric sitting in the corner on one of the couches with his arm around a girl. I squinted to help me see better. No way it could be him. Out of all the clubs in Chicago, what were the chances of us ending up at the same place?

“Reese, is that Eric?” Kendra asked, as if reading my mind. 

He started laughing and I detected his perfect smile and dimples. It was totally him. Before anyone could stop me, I sat my glass down and started over there.

“Reese! Don’t go over there!” Kendra called after me, but it was too late.

I stopped in front of Eric and his new skank – a half Asian looking girl with played out ombré highlights, a gigantic forehead and a tight red dress. They both looked up at me.

“Oh hey, Eric! I haven’t heard from you in so long I assumed you were dead!” I said, sweetly. 

He let out a chuckle without removing his arm from around the girl. “Hi Reese. This is Brooke.”

I gave the girl a sarcastic smile. “Cute dress. H&M 2012?”

She looked down at herself and back up at me. “I can’t remember.”

“Anyways, I hope you guys have a super fun fucking night,” I said and walked away.

“What did he say?” Kendra wanted to know when I rejoined them at the bar. 

“Did you see that girl? She looks like she belongs in Splice,” I said and finished my drink.

“You’re definitely prettier,” Preston reassured me. “Let’s get you another drink.”

We went back to our table and danced while I pretended Eric didn’t exist. I had to force myself not to look back over at him and what’s-her-face, but luckily I was having too much fun to care.

Later on, I dragged Kendra back to the bar so I could get another drink and an ice water. While I was waiting for the winking bartender to serve up my drink, I felt someone’s hands on my waist.

It was Eric.

I looked past him to see if that tacky haired bimbo was behind him and glared at him when I saw that he was alone.

“Hey beautiful. What are you drinking?” he asked when the bartender slid my cup in front of me. 

“Who the fuck was that?” I asked. 

“Reese, relax. She’s my friend,” Eric said. 

“Well, she’s ugly,” I said as I took a sip of my third Long Island. This wasn’t entirely true. The girl was actually cute, but that wasn’t the point.

Eric gave me a disapproving frown. “That’s uncalled for. Brooke didn’t do anything to you.”

I ignored him and turned back to Kendra. I felt Eric tighten his grip on my waist and nuzzle my neck. Kendra gave me a weird look and buried her face in her drink.

“Come on, Reesie. You aren’t mad at me, are you?” Eric whispered in my ear.

His breath on my ear made my heart rate quicken. I definitely missed him, but he had gone AWOL and completely ignored my phone call. He kissed my neck and I felt my knees buckle. Asshole. He knows that’s my spot. 

“Ken Ken! Reesie Cup!” Preston called, joining us at the bar. “We’re about to get out of here and get something greasy and disgusting to eat. Ready?”

I pulled away from Eric reluctantly, but he held onto my wrist.

“Let’s go,” I said to my friends.

Kendra and Preston started settling our tab with the bartender and Eric pulled me close to him. “Come over.” 

I shook him off. “No. I haven’t even heard from you in like two weeks.”

Eric grabbed my ass. “Come on, Reese. I’ve been busy. I missed you a lot.”

I didn’t know if this was true or not, but somehow he talked me into going home with him. We ended up having the most intense, mind blowing sex ever. There was tons of hair pulling, scratching, ass slapping and dirty talk. It made me think we needed to take a hiatus more often. 

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drunk reese strikes again.

On Friday night, Kendra, Preston, Carly and I went to a party at Preston’s boss’s – a cute high rise with scenic city views. It was an intimate little soirée and we had lots of champagne and vodka cranberries. We left at around 10:00 and weren’t ready to stop partying yet so we walked to a strip of bars a few blocks away. 

Preston bought us a round of Patron shots and as soon as I took it, I knew it was going to be one of those nights. We had another round of Patron, danced, took a few of pictures for Instagram, took a parting Patron shot and headed to the next bar. There, I ordered a vodka water. Vodka waters are a sign of desperation and they’re all I drank in college. The fact that I was indulging in vodka waters in my post-grad life was not a good sign. 

At some point, our group had gotten separated so Carly and I worked the bar – flirting with guys and getting free drinks until last call. 

We went outside to find our friends and I finally pulled my phone out of my Rebecca Minkoff clutch (I still had it in my possession. Small victories). I had several missed calls from Preston and Kendra and a text from Eric.

“Come over?” The timestamp said 10:22 PM. It was now 3:38 AM. 

I sat down on the curb (in my white Hudson jeans, ugh) and called Eric. He didn’t pick up and I figured he was probably sleeping.

“Reesie, Kendra says they’re coming out of the bar now. Do you want to get pizza?” Carly asked, drunkly. 

I ignored her and tried Eric again. So what if he was sleeping? Drunk Reese wanted to see him. He didn’t answer and I tried again right away. He finally picked up. 

“Yes?” He definitely sounded like he’d been sleeping. 

“Hey it’s me!” Drunk Reese exclaimed into the phone.

“Dammit Reese! It’s almost 4:00 in the morning!” Eric yelled. 

“I know, but I thought you wanted me to come over,” I said innocently.

“Hours ago. I’m fucking sleeping,” he grumbled into the phone.

“Wow, okay. I thought you wanted to hang out.” I felt the hot tears forming. Drunk Reese doesn’t like being yelled at. Sober Reese would have shouted back, hung up and never talked to him again, but Drunk Reese is much more fragile.

“Reese, I have to be up at 7:00. I don’t have time for this right now,” Eric said, softening his tone. 

“Well you didn’t have to yell and curse at me. I just thought you wanted to see me.” I was actually sobbing into the phone. I heard Preston and Kendra approach us but didn’t bother looking up at them. 

“I want to see you but not right now,” Eric said calmly. “I have something very important to do in the morning.” 

“More important than me I guess. Just like everything in your life,” I cried. 

I heard Preston ask who I was talking to and Kendra say she hoped it wasn’t Eric.

Eric sighed. “Don’t do this right now. I’m really tired. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“It is tomorrow!” 

Eric didn’t say anything.

“You’re so mean!” I was sobbing again and I heard Kendra tell me to get off the ground.

Eric let out a deep sigh. “Fine. Come over.” 

“K. Be there soon!” I said and hung up.

I stood up and turned to my friends with a big smile on my face – as if I hadn’t been bawling my eyes out seconds before. 

“I’m taking a taxi to Eric’s,” I announced. 

“So you don’t want to get pizza?” Carly asked.

“Reese, don’t go bother him. I’m sure he just wants to sleep,” Kendra said. 

“Yeah, with me!” I leaned in and gave them all hugs and then hopped in an idle taxi waiting on the curb.

When I got to Eric’s, he came down and let me in in just pajama pants. I never really stopped to appreciate his huge arms, pecs, 8 pack and delicious happy trail.

“Hiiiiii!” Drunk Reese squealed.

“Shhh. We are going to sleep immediately,” Eric said, leading me to the elevator.

When we got up to his apartment, Drunk Reese realized that she should’ve taken Carly up on that pizza offer.

“Do you have anything to eat? I’m starving,” I said. 

“No,” Eric said, walking to his bedroom. 

I ignored him and flipped on the kitchen light. I opened the fridge and found leftover pizza, leftover Chinese food, cheesecake, and fresh fruit – all of which looked absolutely delicious. 

“You lied!” I shouted, taking the box of pizza out the fridge. It appeared to be meat lovers, something Sober Reese would never partake in, but Drunk Reese was drooling like Pavlov’s dog.

I popped two slices in the microwave with no plate or paper towel under it and set it for two minutes. 

“What are you doing?” Eric asked from the bedroom. 

“Eating your pizza, liar. Can’t believe you didn’t wanna share with me!” 

I hopped up on the counter and texted Kendra letting her know that I was safe at Eric’s. After I ate both slices of pizza I dug into the cheesecake. It was divine. As I was shoveling a huge fork full of cheesecake and strawberries in my mouth, Eric appeared in the kitchen. 

“Reese, what the fuck are you doing?” he asked. 

“Do you want some cheesecake?” I held the box of cheesecake and fork out to him. 

“No. I want to go to sleep.”

I took one last bite of cheesecake and followed Eric out of the kitchen. I took off everything except my thong and climbed into bed.

“Eric, you seem upset. Are you mad at me?” I asked, putting my arm around him. 

He shook me off and said, “No. Just… Go to sleep.”

“K.” 

I rolled over and pinned a few things on Pinterest, commented “you look fugly. xo” on someone’s picture on Instagram, and added a dark selfie to my SnapChat story. Then I turned back to Eric and tapped his shoulder. 

“What Reese?” he asked, clearly fed up.

“Goodnight kiss?” I asked. 

He quickly turned around and kissed me hard. Luckily Drunk Reese fell asleep after that.

I woke up feeling like complete and utter shit. I don’t know who told me I had the right to drink vodka waters. Eric was standing at the foot of the bed, getting dressed and I debated pretending like I was asleep or getting up. My full bladder made the decision for me.

“Morning,” I said, climbing out of bed. I was still naked and my head was throbbing.

“Hey,” Eric said.

I breezed past him to the bathroom and tried to decide if I was going to apologize for my shenanigans. This was the second time Drunk Reese had come out to play at an inconvenient time and Eric was probably so over it/her. But I was drunk, what was I supposed to do? I finally decided that I was going to pretend that nothing happened. 

I left the bathroom and Eric was putting on his hat, preparing to leave. “Do you want a ride home?” 

“Yes. Just give me a minute to get dressed,” I said. I found all my clothing strewn across the bedroom floor and got dressed while Eric sat at the foot of the bed.

“What do you have to do this morning?” I asked, to break the silence.

“I have an appointment,” he said shortly. 

“Oh, that’s nice. Who with?” I pressed on. 

“My physical therapist. It’s starting in fifteen minutes,” he replied.

I assumed that meant I needed to hurry so I finished getting dressed and met him at the door. The car ride to my apartment was completely silent but he leaned over and kissed me when he dropped me off. 

“I hope your thing goes great,” I said as one last ditch effort to smooth things over.

He simply said, “Thanks,” and that was the end of that. 

I spent the rest of Saturday nursing my hangover.

*note: I’m doing a Q&A on the blog next week. Send your questions to hotmessinhighheels@gmail.com.

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drunk reese comes out to play.

Between the launch of the Nantucket Cottage line, the warehouse sale, and the deal with the Indonesian artist, I was swamped on Monday and Tuesday. I didn’t get out of the office until almost midnight both days and obviously passed out as soon as I got home.

On Wednesday, I gave my ad team a long list of tasks to keep them busy and snuck out by 5:30 to meet Kendra for drinks. We went to a place in between both of our jobs and got a pitcher of sangria. It was gone before I even finished recapping my day so we ordered another. And another. After a while, I needed a bathroom break but it was one of those singular bathroom situations so Kendra told me she would meet me outside. Which was honestly kind of offensive because we always go into the bathroom together. But whatever. 

Is it just me or do you never realize how drunk you are until you’re alone in a bathroom? I was sitting on the toilet handling my business, giggling like a fucking weirdo. While I was washing my hands I realized that I wanted to see Eric. I hadn’t heard from him all day even though he usually texts me in the morning. I pulled out my phone and called him, but he didn’t answer. Determined, I tried again and he picked up. That’s more like it. 

“Hello?” The background sounded loud, like he was in a bar or something. 

“Hey E!” I shouted. I had never called him “E” nor had he given me permission to. 

“Hi Reese. How are you?” he replied. 

“I’m good. I miss you. Wanna hang out?”

“I’m a little bit busy right now. Can we tomorrow?” 

Drunk Reese does not like rejection. 

“Why? What are you doing?”

“I’m at a bar watching the game with my friends,” he said. 

“So your friends are more important than me?”

It sounded like he stepped outside or into the bathroom because the background noise went away. 

“I didn’t say that,” Eric said. 

“I’ve been busy all week. Don’t you even want to see me?” I cried.

“I do want to see you, Reese, but I’m busy right now.” 

“If you really want to see me, come and get me.”

“I can’t right now.”

“So you don’t want to see me. Wow, Eric, I hope your friends are really worth it!”

He let out a deep sigh. “Are you serious right now, Reese?”

“Dead!” I exclaimed. 

He paused for a moment before saying, “Where are you?” 

I told him and he said he would be there in fifteen minutes. I emerged from the bathroom and Kendra said, “What took so long?” 

“I’m leaving,” I announced.

“Um okay. Where are you going?” she asked. 

“Eric is coming to get me,” I said, happily.

We still had a quarter pitcher of sangria left so I insisted we finish it before leaving. When we got outside, sure enough Eric was waiting at the curb in his Bentley.

“Do you want a ride home?” I asked Kendra, who had taken the subway to the restaurant. 

She said sure so we climbed in.

“Hiiiiii,” I sang. “You remember Kendra, don’t you? She just lives a few minutes away.”

Eric turned to Kendra in the backseat and said hello. I talked nonstop the entire way to Kendra’s while they listened and didn’t say anything. She thanked him for the ride and gave him what looked like a “good luck” look. 

“Did you want to come over?” Eric asked as we left Kendra’s apartment. He sounded exasperated. 

“Duh!” I said. I insisted he stop at a 7-11 so I could use the restroom again and get some Twizzlers (I don’t even like Twizzlers).

When we got to his condo, I immediately stripped off my dress and wedges and sat on his sectional eating my Twizzlers. Eric turned on the game and sat next to me, but didn’t say anything. I totally planned on going to his place and having wild, raunchy sex, but Drunk Reese passed out.

This morning, I woke up next to Eric in his bed. I felt awful about the stunt I pulled, but I’m not good at apologizing so I just gave him the best blow job of his life instead. He dropped me off at home so I could get ready for work and told me he would be busy but in touch. It irritated me a bit that he was claiming busy when I was actually the one who would be busy. But whatever.

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