i’m so f-ing frustrated.

I made Kendra and Preston go to dinner with me on Monday so we could discuss birthday plans. It’s my twenty fifth birthday and between work and trying to make Brady fall in love with me, I haven’t had a chance to plan the extravagant ball I’ve always envisioned. Oh well. As long as I get to drink and wear a pretty dress I don’t care what we do.

“Let’s just have dinner and get drunk,” Preston said.

“John and I are going out of town. It’s Labor Day weekend,” Kendra said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “But it’s my birthday. That’s more important.”

“Quit being dramatic. We can get drunk anytime. And I’ll give you your gift beforehand.”

I couldn’t help smiling at her mentioning a gift.

“You know what size shoe I wear, right?”

Kendra rolled her eyes. “Yes, Reese.”

“So I’ll find a restaurant and make reservations. And I have the perfect place we can go afterwards,” Preston said. “You just show up looking like a vixen!”

I told them that I think I have a boyfriend and explained what happened on Saturday night.

“Wow, you haven’t had a boyfriend since-” Kendra started.

“Don’t say his name,” I warned.

She said his name.

“Ugh. I don’t want to even think about him,” I sighed.

“It’s okay. We all have that one person where we’re like ‘what the fuck was I thinking?!'”

“That’s the thing. I know exactly what I was thinking. You guys didn’t get to see the real him. He was hot and funny and flirty and sweet. I like, loved him.”

“Yeah, too bad every girl in school felt the same way.”

Kendra was trying to be funny, but I didn’t laugh. He and I had the most ridiculous “relationship.” It was like my thing with Eric, but for months and months on end. And I was less mature and drank more back then so you can imagine the kinds of scenes I caused on campus. How fucking embarrassing.

“Well, you’ve learned your lesson, right? Don’t make the same mistakes with Brady,” Kendra said.

Of course. Because I was the one making mistakes, not my unfaithful “boyfriend.”

Kendra took me home after dinner and then Brady called. He had just gotten off work and I invited him over. I wondered if tonight was the night. I showered and put on a matching La Perla set just in case.

“Hi, how are you?” I said, letting him in.

“I’m exhausted. You look very nice,” Brady said and hugged me.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a tank top and jorts, but maybe he could tell I had cute lingerie on underneath. I grabbed us waters and joined him on my couch.

“What happened today?” I asked.

He explained that he had spent the day running around trying to fix a patient complaint that was brought on by one of his colleagues. While he didn’t specifically call anyone out or place the blame, it was the first time I’d seen Brady kind of complain. And the little stress wrinkle in his forehead was so cute.

“But you worked everything out, right?” I asked, tugging at his tie.

“Yeah, of course. It was just a long process,” he said.

I started untying his tie, hoping he would get the hint. “You poor thing.”

“How was your day?” he asked.

“It was okay. Let’s go to my room.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to my room. I got on the bed and Brady followed, pushing me back with his body so we were laying side by side.

We started kissing and he made his way down to my neck. His hand was positioned on my waist just below my boob and it felt like he was afraid to even touch me. Like, just grab my tit. You’ve already made out with my vagina so why not?

I got his shirt off and then reached down for his pants.

“Hey,” Brady said, pulling away slightly. “I’m kind of tired.”

I stopped and looked at him. He did look tired, but seriously? He was so tired that he didn’t want to hook up with me?

“Okay,” I said shortly and got out of bed.

I was so irritated that I went to the kitchen and dug the pack of birthday cake Oreos out of the back of my cabinet and wolfed two down. Then two more for good measure. I was completely at a loss as to why this keeps happening. But then I started thinking about how Brady told me he was exhausted and the story of his day. But still. Wouldn’t sex make it so much better? Whatever. I decided to offer him some Oreos before he went home.

Except he was already sleeping by the time I got back to my room. So maybe he really was tired.

I’m so fucking frustrated.

do i have a boyfriend?

I spent the night with Brady on Friday night (literally nothing happened) and he insisted we go for that run on Saturday morning. This is exactly what I meant by I don’t know how long I can fake it. I’m not a runner. I don’t like running and definitely not at 8:00 AM when I just want to snuggle in bed.

Brady took me home after that because I looked and felt disgusting. He told me he would come pick me up at 6:30 PM for the charity event.

I got lunch with Preston then we got pedicures and he waited while I got a trim. He said that he and Mr. Murphy went and looked at cars last week and he has his eyes on a Jeep. I wonder when Brady and I can go look at cars. I’m definitely ready for a new one.

I did a light smokey eye for the event with a matte red lip and I was surprisingly 100% ready by the time Brady came to get me. I got out of the elevator and walked through my sprawling apartment lobby.

“Looking good, Reese! Hot date?” Frank, my doorman, called.

I smiled. “I suppose.”

Brady was parked illegally in the alley next to my building and was waiting outside his car for me.

When he saw me, he broke into a warm smile. “Wow.”

Brady looked really, really good in a tailored charcoal suit and black bow tie. We didn’t even plan it, but we were totally matching. Soulmates, I tell ya.

He kissed me on the cheek – probably because my red lips scared him – and opened the passenger door for me. The gala was held at a hotel not far from my apartment, in the ballroom on the 80th floor. There was a stage in the back of the room then a ton of circular tables with black tablecloths on them and rose centerpieces. Everyone was walking around the back half of the ballroom mingling and there were waiters running around with what looked like trays of champagne. I immediately snagged one from a passing waiter.

“Well, this is nice,” I said, sipping my champs.

“Yeah, the hospital does it every year. It’s proven to be quite successful, I believe last year we were able to bring in almost $100,000 for the hospital,” Brady said.

“That’s amazing.” My champagne flute was now empty. Luckily there was a waiter nearby and I grabbed another one.

“How is it physically possible to not get lipstick all over the glass?” Brady asked.

I smiled and started to say, “Magic,” but a blonde girl was rapidly approaching us.

“Hi, Brady!” she sang loudly and threw her arms around him.

When they pulled apart, Brady said, “Reese, this is-”

And before he could finish his sentence, Blondie said, “Jessica,” and stuck out her hand for me to shake. I shook her hand like a professional adult and she gave me one of those limp princess handshakes.

I gave Jessica the once over. She stood at about Brady’s height so she was a few inches taller than me. She wore a cobalt blue midi dress that hugged her curves perfectly without being too Kim Kardash and dainty nude colored heels. I didn’t see her stop smiling once, but it was almost a condescending smile. I couldn’t put my finger on it. She looked like your stereotypical contestant on The Bachelor. I automatically hated her.

“Jessica is one of the nurses at the hospital,” Brady explained.

“We do our rounds together sometimes,” Jessica continued.

“That’s fascinating,” I murmured.

“Wow Brady, I had no idea you had a girlfriend,” Jessica said with her smile still plastered on her face.

I quickly brought the champagne flute to my lips.

“Ummm…” Brady started and paused for an unnaturally long time. I couldn’t wait to see how he was going to handle this. I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.

“Yeah,” Brady finally uttered.

“Nice meeting you,” Jessica said to me then grabbed Brady’s forearm. “Come find me later.”

“She was nice,” I said once she walked away. I sensed something between Brady and Jessica and I wanted the deets.

Brady didn’t give anything away. He just said, “She is. It is nice to have someone to talk to at work.”

I met Brady’s immediate boss, his boss’s boss and other important people from the hospital. It seemed like the champagne was never ending and it got to the point where the servers were handing me full glasses. Lol thanks.

There was dinner and some speakers which was boring. I kept rubbing Brady’s leg with my foot and he would glance over smiling, but looking confused. Ugh, hasn’t he ever heard of playing footsie? After dinner, a live band starting playing so people could dance. I was drunk but not drunk enough to dance. I did however want to get out of there to hook up with Brady. I was horny and he looked so damn hot in that suit.

I waited while he stood talking to some coworkers and discreetly took some pictures for SnapChat. Finally, Brady turned to me and said he was getting tired.

“Me too,” I said with a smirk, hoping he caught my drift.

He said goodbye to everyone (including Jessica who insisted they hug again).

“So nice meeting you!” she smiled big at me, but I couldn’t help being annoyed with her.

Out in the hallway leading to the lobby, Brady stopped to use the restroom. I waited outside the door and texted Kendra that I planned on hooking up with Brady tonight. And then I got a brilliant idea.

As soon as I heard the bathroom door open, I pushed Brady back in and locked the door behind me.

“Wha-” he started, but I started kissing him. I wanted to hook up with him – now – in the bathroom. It would be so scandalous and risky. It was the perfect setting for our first time.

He tried to say something again, but I kissed him harder and pushed his suit jacket off so it was hanging off his arms. Brady was rigid, but he was returning my kiss so I thought he was into it. I made my way down to his belt and started undoing it. He started trying to push me away, but he was being way too gentle for Drunk Reese.

“Reese,” Brady said, pulling away. He was pinned against the sink so he couldn’t go anywhere.

“Let’s have sex,” I said with a sneaky smile.

“Reese, no,” Brady said, pushing my hands away from his pants. I took this opportunity to try to get his suit jacket the rest of the way off.

“Live a little,” I continued on.

Every time I would try to take off a piece of his clothing he would say stop very nicely which obviously doesn’t mean anything to Drunk Reese. Finally, he grabbed both of my wrists and roughly yanked them down in front of me.

“Reese, stop!” he said in a loud stern voice. The usual Drunk Reese wouldn’t have liked being almost-yelled at, but I was actually turned on by his assertiveness. I broke into a sly smile. Okay. We could wait until we got to his house.

We filed out of the bathroom and rode in silence to his place. He was obviously annoyed with me, but at least he didn’t immediately take me home, I reasoned with myself.

We got to his room and he went into the attached bathroom while I took off my dress and bra and changed into one of his t-shirts. I really need to start packing clothes in my purse (although I’m not sure they would’ve fit in my clutch last night).

I sat at the foot of the bed waiting for him to come out from the bathroom. I was thinking he would probably want to go to sleep right away since he seemed to be irritated with me.

Brady finally came out of the bathroom – he had taken off everything except his undershirt and slacks. I couldn’t read the look on his face. We made eye contact and he watched me while he crossed the bedroom and slowly made a beeline for me. It was an intense moment, almost creepy, and I thought he was going to kill me or something. I gave him my most innocent smile hoping he would spare my life.

He stopped in front of me and kneeled down. I was confused and scared because I don’t know what Brady is capable of. And then he slid off my thong and put one of my legs over his shoulder. I had no choice but lean back on the bed and before I knew it, he was eating my vagina so good that I couldn’t see straight. I mean, this man knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn’t like he was just licking and sucking aimlessly, he had perfected the art of eating pussy. I’ve heard that when you enjoy performing oral your partner can tell, and I could definitely tell he was enjoying making me squirm like that.

I came in under ten minutes which I don’t think has ever happened before. I don’t know what I did to deserve that but I wasn’t complaining. Brady stood up and looked at me. I thought for sure this was it. We were finally going to have sex and I couldn’t fucking wait. If he could do that with his mouth, imagine what else he could do.

He walked away and started getting undressed and I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. I watched Brady take off his shirt and change into a pair of shorts. Then he walked back to the bed and started pulling the comforter and sheets back.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” he said. It was the first time either of us had said anything for at least half an hour.

So we weren’t hooking up? I nodded and crawled under the blankets. Brady climbed in after me and we laid there looking at each other. I kissed him lightly.

“Hey,” Brady said, putting a hand on my hip. “Was what Jessica said weird?”

At first I didn’t know what he was referring to and almost told him that Jessica is weird all around. And then I remembered her “girlfriend” comment.

“No,” I said. “Not at all.”

“Okay.”

Brady pulled me closer and that was it. Was that our DTR? Do I have a boyfriend?

We woke up and had cereal then watched tv for a little while. I couldn’t stop thinking about the night before and how much I had underestimated him. How could Anna ever let him go? I want to marry him and we still haven’t even had intercourse yet.

typical thursday night.

No one was available for happy hour on Wednesday so I sat at home texting Brady and drinking wine. I realized that my birthday is in two weeks so everyone needs to be fucking available to party with me.

On Thursday we had a little office party to say goodbye to the summer interns. Diana ordered in cupcakes from Sprinkles and called everyone to the break room. She gave some speech about how helpful they were and blah blah blah and announced that we would be hiring one of them full time when he graduates in December.

I grabbed a cupcake and went to the privacy of my office to scarf it down. I checked my phone and saw that I had a new text message from BJ. I almost vommed.

The message said, “Hey, it’s my last weekend in Chicago before I go back to Georgia. Do you want to grab a drink or something?”

I couldn’t believe the nerve of this kid. I started drafting a scathing message back, telling him what an immature prick I think he is. But then I thought of Brady. If Brady knew the situation he would tell me to be mature and take the high road. I’m almost twenty five and I’m a director. What would bitching out BJ help? He was leaving anyway. I decided not to respond at all.

After work, I went to Nordstrom to settle the dress situation and ended up getting a dress, earrings, and two pairs of boots for fall/winter. I texted Brady saying that if he got off at a decent time, did he want to come over? I started watching tv and had almost fallen asleep when he responded, “I can be there in 45 mins.”

I jumped up happily, showered and put on something comfortable. I get way more excited to hang out with Brady than I have with any other guy in a long time. I think it’s because he makes me actually use my brain and doesn’t try to immediately get in my pants (although I kind of wish he would).

Brady and I had wine and talked about our days. He mentioned the charity event on Saturday just briefly which I think is weird because we haven’t talked about it since he asked me. Are we even still going together?

We decided to go out to grab a few drinks at a place not too far from my apartment. Well, a few drinks turned into a few more and some shots. Typical Thursday night. I knew that Brady was getting drunk when he started kissing my neck right in the middle of the bar. It was funny, but it only made me want to screw him that much more. We decided to get out of there and Brady left a really generous $80 tip for the bartender.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked on our way to the parking lot.

Brady shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you want to drive?”

I didn’t say anything and he tossed me the keys. He obviously doesn’t know my driving history, but he was way drunker than I was. I found his car in the parking garage and said a silent prayer before pulling off. The last thing I need is to wreck Brady’s beautiful car. He would never want me if I did that and couldn’t afford to buy him a new one.

We made it back to my apartment in one piece and after driving Brady’s Audi I decided that I’m ready for a new car. I will start looking for something modest soon.

We got inside and ended up making out on my bed in the complete darkness. All of our clothes were still on and I started to think maybe Brady wasn’t going to try anything with me since I had turned him down twice. He moved down to my neck and said, “I want you,” flat out.

But he made no moves to show it. I was completely open to having sex and let Brady know it. I ran my hands under his shirt and tugged at his belt. There were only so many clues I could give him without physically ripping his clothes off and doing him.

Eventually, we grew tired and fell asleep. We were woken up by Brady’s alarm at some insane hour and it was still dark outside. Surprisingly Brady was able to get out of bed and become alert immediately and get ready to leave.

“I would like you to come over later. You can stay the night and we can run tomorrow morning,” he said, leaning down to me in bed.

I couldn’t help smiling. I don’t want to run, but it’s cute that Brady is trying to plan things.

worst case of blue balls of his life.

All four of us met for happy hour on Wednesday and I was so glad we were all being reunited. We’ve all been so wrapped up in our own things that we haven’t had a chance to see each other. Carly swung by and got me from work so we could meet Kendra and Preston at a spot on the west side.

We sat at a hightop table and ordered drinks and mozzarella sticks.

“How’s your new position?” I asked Kendra as we waited for our goodies to come.

“Honestly, it’s kind of stressful. Before I was basically just the office bitch and now I’m transitioning into a more important role. I’m helping do research and making appearances in court. This is actually what I went to school for,” Kendra said.

“And they still have you dressing like Kohl’s had a liquidation sale, I see,” Preston said.

We all laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t mind it though,” Kendra said.

“It probably helps keeps the guys at bay. We don’t need another scandal with an intern.” Preston looked pointedly at me.

“Whatever happened with that? Have you talked to him?” Kendra asked.

“No. Fuck him,” I scoffed.

“I think that was the problem,” Preston said and everyone laughed.

I rolled my eyes and explained to them what’s been going on in the office lately with Whitney and Amanda.

“Reese, you’re so above that,” Kendra said. “Those girls are loving getting under your skin. Don’t let them distract you from doing your job.”

“That’s exactly what Brady said!” I practically shouted.

“How’s our favorite nerdy pharmacist doing?” Preston asked.

“Good,” I said coyly. I couldn’t help smiling and blushing at hearing his name. Ugh. What’s happening to me?

“Chris said he really likes you!” Carly put in just as the waitress brought our drinks and a tray of mozzarella sticks.

“Really? Chris said that?!” I exclaimed. Obviously Brady likes me, but if he’s discussing his feelings with Chris then that’s major.

Carly finished chewing the stick she had shoved in her mouth. “Yeah. He said Brady talks about you all the time.”

“What does he say?!”

I was dying to know what Brady thinks. Does he think I’m relationship material? Does he think I’m a dumbass? Does he want to fuck me?!

“Chris didn’t say. Good things obviously.”

I made a mental note to ask Carly to pry Chris and find out exactly what was said. I must know!

Preston began telling us about his boyfriend, who he refers to as Mr. Murphy which is weird. Apparently Mr. Murphy is very successful in the stock market and just bought a Tesla S.

“I’m hoping he buys a car for me next,” Preston said.

I would love a boyfriend who would just take me on random vacations and buy me a car. I wonder if Brady is opposed to it. I mean, apparently he does like me “a lot.”

After happy hour and several beers, Carly was supposed to drop me off then go to Chris and Brady’s. I told her that I would just go with her. I could surprise Brady! I wasn’t sure what time he got off work, but it was almost 9:00. Surely he wasn’t still slaving at the hospital.

Chris let us in and I immediately asked if Brady was home.

“Yeah, he’s in the dining room,” Chris replied and I pushed past him.

I found Brady sitting at the dining room table engrossed in his laptop. He didn’t see me approaching so I squealed, “Hiii!” and jumped in his lap.

“Hey!” he said, surprised.

I kissed him. “Long time no see, huh?”

“I was beginning to forget what you look like,” Brady said.

“What are you working on?” I asked, turning toward his MacBook. A spreadsheet with a bunch of names and numbers filled the screen.

“Just some stuff for work.”

“You’re off the clock now. Put your work away and have fun.” I turned back toward him and tugged his tie. I do believe in working hard – when I’m at work. As soon as I leave the office, I want nothing to do with any of that shit.

Brady didn’t say anything or move so I reached over and shut his laptop. I felt his body kind of deflate.

“Are you a workaholic, Brady?” I asked, sensing that he wanted to continue working.

“Not really, but I wanted to finish that tonight,” he answered.

“Finish it later. Let’s go to your room.” I hopped up and dragged him out of his chair and down the hall to his bedroom.

“What did you do tonight?” Brady asked as he untied his tie.

“We went to happy hour. It’s our Wednesday tradition, duh,” I answered. I sat on the bed and started taking selfies for SnapChat.

“Duh? Is that something I should’ve known?”

“You should have my entire life and schedule memorized by now,” I said, not looking up from my phone.

“Got it. Give me a second to write that in my planner.”

I looked up and Brady was taking off his dress shirt so he was just in slacks and a white undershirt. He looked so damn hot. I watched him place his tie and shirt in the closet then come back out and sit on the bed next to me. I could smell his cologne – Armani or something – and it was intoxicating.

“You smell good,” I said.

“Thank you.”

We just kind of looked at each other and for the first time I could actually feel the sexual electricity between us. It wasn’t just me this time. He had a lusty look in his eyes and I could tell that he wanted me. We leaned in and started making out, kind of timidly at first then he wrapped an arm around my waist and used his body to push me back on the bed. He pulled my shirt over my head then I took his off and ran my hands along his smooth toned back. He began kissing me with more aggression and rubbing my bare thighs. Thank God I shaved.

I reached down and fussed with his belt buckle until I got it undone then unzipped and unbuttoned his pants. I could feel that he was hard. Brady moved down to my neck and I let out an agonized moan. I could feel his dick on my leg and more than anything I wanted him inside me. My vagina was literally pulsating for him. But then I got these images in my head. Kendra rolling her eyes. BJ smirking up at me in my bed. Eric. Eric’s breakup text. Diana glaring at me across her desk. I couldn’t have sex with Brady. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I’ve denied guys sex before (all the time actually) but only when they were douchebags and I didn’t care if they were pissed. But Brady wasn’t being a douchebag and I didn’t want him to have to say no to him. So I had no idea what to do.

I quickly pushed him off and jumped off the bed.

“Let’s go hang out with Carly and Chris,” I said, putting my shirt back on. It was the only thing I could think to say. I turned back to the bed where Brady was laying, shirtless with his pants undone. He looked bewildered, hurt almost, and I felt awful that I had gotten him all worked up.

“I will meet you there,” he finally said after almost a full minute.

I found Carly and Chris in the basement and by the time I got down there I was so aggravated with myself. Could I have handled it any more ungracefully? Brady probably thinks I’m some sort inexperienced, prude virgin. I should’ve politely explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing anything more than kissing. He would understand. But I was the one who started undressing him so he probably thinks I’m bipolar and crazy in addition to everything else. Which I am, honestly.

I sat down watching Chris and Carly for a moment then I realized that I really, really just wanted to leave. I didn’t want to see Brady.

“Carly, can we leave?” I suddenly asked.

“Right now? Can Brady take you?” she asked.

“Yes now! Please.”

Carly looked at me, concerned, then turned back to Chris. “I gotta go.”

I knew I was being a brat, but at that moment I didn’t care. She and Chris took ten minutes to say their goodbyes then I dragged her out of there without saying goodbye to Brady. I’ll make up an excuse later.

“What was that all about? Did something happen with you and Brady?” Carly asked on the way to my apartment.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “I probably just gave him the worst case of blue balls of his life.”

“Did you guys hook up?!” Carly’s eyes got wide.

“Not quite. But he wanted to. And I wanted to. But I’m trying to refrain from having sex with him.”

“If you both want to then why are you still waiting?”

“Because…” Carly obviously doesn’t realize what I’m trying to achieve here. “Kendra concluded that sex always ruins things with me and guys. And I actually don’t want to ruin things with Brady.”

She gave me a warm smile. “That’s the cutest thing ever, Reese. How long are you going to be able to wait though?”

Good question.

little does he know. [please comment with your opinion]

On Thursday when I got to work, I walked past Amanda on my way to my office. She avoided eye contact with me and I thought about confronting her about lying to Whitney. The fact that she was gossiping about me, a director, was not okay and I needed her to know that. But then I thought it might cause more drama than it’s worth and she will be gone once the summer is over. Still pissed at her though.

Before I could get to my office, Diana shouted my name.

“Reese! Come in here!”

She sounded excited so I rushed into her office. She looked ecstatic.

“I just got the email from Martin. They want to do it. Look.” She showed me the open email which started with: “Diana, hello beautiful.”

So apparently Rob wasn’t the only one who was straddling the line between professional and unprofessional. The email basically said that they wanted to our stuff for their website. There were some legal terms and a bunch of stuff I didn’t understand plus a contract attached.

“This is very exciting news, Reese. We’ve never done anything like this before,” Diana enthused.

So I’m glad it worked out despite Rob trying to ruin it. Diana was in a great mood all day meaning the entire office was in a good mood.

After work, I stopped by Kendra’s. John wasn’t home luckily so I got her undivided attention. I wanted her opinion on Brady plus just catch up with my best friend.

I let her go first.

“I got promoted at the law firm so now I’m a practicing attorney,” she announced.

“Kendra! That’s amazing!” I said, hugging her.

“I know! I’m so excited. Now I will be able to pay rent without dipping into my savings. And maybe even get some new work clothes.”

I hugged her again. I am genuinely happy for Kendra. Of all people, she deserves it.

“How did your date with Brady go?” she asked.

I couldn’t help smiling. “I think it went really good. He’s like, the epitome of a gentleman,” I said.

“So like everything you’re not used to?”

“Exactly. He is so sweet, but so politically correct. He hasn’t even kissed me. Little does he know I would fuck him instantly if he asked.”

Kendra laughed. “Don’t. Sounds like things are going well between you so far. Wait as long as you can to have sex with him. You know sex always ruins things with you.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yes it is. After you have sex with a guy things go down hill. Every time.”

“Besides Eric, who did that happen with?”

Kendra began naming every guy I’ve ever had sex with which was really uncalled for.

“Fine. You’ve made your point,” I said. “But what if I fall in love with him then we have sex and it sucks?”

“That’s okay. Sex can be fixed. It sucked for me and John at first.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He couldn’t make me orgasm for the first three years.”

I looked at her, appalled. Excuse me? Three years with no orgasm? Why would anyone subject themselves to that kind of torture?

But maybe she is right. Do you guys think I should wait longer to have sex with Brady? What is longer? I usually have sex with a guy after the third/fourth/fifth date. 😬

three minutes in purgatory.

On Saturday night I was so bored I literally thought I would die. Kendra and John were at a play, Preston and his boyfriend were in Puerto Rico for the weekend and Carly was at Chris’s place and not responding. I’ve never felt so single in my life.

Finally, in one last ditch effort before I croaked, I texted BJ to see what he was doing.

He responded, “At this bar with some of the guys. Come out.”

Within thirty minutes, I was in a Finders Keepers dress, Guisseppe Zanottis and a pair of Target earrings because these were college boys I would be hanging out with so I wanted to be modest.

I finished a glass of wine and then taxied to the bar. BJ and about ten of his frat brothers had taken over a corner of the bar and had several pitchers of beer already.

“Well, look who it is. I thought you only existed in the office,” BJ said, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on my temple. Even though he’s almost four years younger than me, I still felt teeny tiny in his arms. He was wearing khaki shorts, a trendy denim button down, and Sperrys with a backward Polo hat on his head.

“Guys, this is who I was telling you about, Reese.”

The guys said hi and gave me appreciative nods. We got to talking and I learned that one of them is from a town thirty minutes away from the town I’m from so he bought me my first drink. The guys were all over me and asking tons of questions. I was obviously loving it and eating all this attention up.

Three hours and several Patron shots (they insisted) later, the frat was gone and only BJ and I remained at the bar. We were completely drunk and had spent most of night dancing, arguing about everything and laughing about nothing.

Once the bar started clearing out, we made our way outside to the muggy night.

“I’m glad you came out tonight. It took you long enough,” BJ said.

“You lucked out because all my friends were busy tonight. I was just bored enough to hang out with you,” I said.

“Oh yeah? You had fun though, didn’t you?”

I smiled. “A little bit.”

“I knew you would be a good dancer,” BJ said.

I started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and BJ grabbed my waist and pulled me close so that my back was to his chest. I quickly pulled away and pretended I didn’t like it.

I turned back toward him and he was staring down at me with a fiery look in his eyes – not smiling or looking goofy like he normally does. The truth was I wanted BJ. I wanted him badly. And it wasn’t just because I was plastered. He looked so hot in his southern preppy attire that I wanted to lick him head to toe.

There were so many reasons I shouldn’t though – he’s four years younger than me, he’s an intern and if anyone found out I would be fired, he had that “thing” with Amanda, etc. But none of that seemed to matter. No one would find out. How would they? And who cares if he’s younger? People say I have a youthful spirit anyway.

“Do you want to come over?” I asked.

“Yeah,” BJ answered.

We cabbed to my apartment and sat so close to each other I was practically on his lap. We talked about college or something and every time the driver would go over a bump or take a turn too fast, we would almost kiss.

I let us into my apartment, immediately kicked off my shoes and padded to my room to change into something more comfortable (cropped tank, lace shorts). BJ was sitting on my couch waiting.

“Damn, you look hot,” he said in a low voice.

I spun and he caught my wrist. He pulled me on his lap and I let him, no longer playing hard to get. We instantly started making out. It was urgent and a little bit sloppy, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I pulled his head back by his hair and kissed his throat. BJ let out a moan and I continued licking and sucking his neck.

We started kind of dry humping and I couldn’t even pretend not to want it anymore.

“Take me to my room,” I said.

He picked me up with my legs still wrapped around his waist and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and pulled off his shirt, seemingly simultaneously. I never knew it, but BJ has a huge tattoo of his last name going down the side of his torso which looked cool but was super pointless. Such a bro.

We ripped each other’s clothes off – my top then his shorts then my shorts. BJ was standing over my naked body in just boxer briefs. Even though he’s on the skinnier side, his body is really lean and ripped and he had a nice sized bulge in the front of his boxer briefs.

BJ leaned down and frenchkissed my hipbone then got back up and rolled on a condom. That’s when I realized that this was actually happening. It was too late to go back now (and I didn’t want to) so this had to be worthwhile.

He climbed on top of me and kind of fumbled around for a moment trying to put his penis in. Wtf. Just when I was about to blame #whiskeydick and call the whole thing off, he got it in. He started going in and out really fast like a jackhammer and it was unpleasant. I was actually bored. I knew that when I noticed that my ceiling fan needed to be dusted, something had to change.

I made BJ flip over so I was on top. He gave me a lazy version of his normal smirk and said, “You’re so sexy, Reese.”

I started riding him like California Chrome and all he could do was grab my hips and hang on. All of that sexual tension we built up came down to this so I was going to make the most of it.

“Oh my God,” BJ moaned.

I looked down and his brow was furrowed, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip so hard that it was turning white. Somehow he still looked hot and I kept going, harder.

Before I could pull out any of my signature moves (the spin), BJ let out a low groan that sounded almost like a whimper.

Um, okay.

He sighed and I felt his whole body relax. So he was finished. I climbed off him and sat there, baffled and mortified. I couldn’t believe that was it. I’d risked my job for three minutes in purgatory.

BJ wasn’t saying anything and it was pissing me off so I called his name. When he didn’t answer, I said it again and elbowed his ribs.

He let out a deep breath and rolled away from me. He was sleeping.

i can’t believe i’m thinking like this.

BJ must have felt bad about the way things ended on Wednesday because on Monday morning he brought my usual chai, a vanilla bean frappuncino and a strawberry cheese danish from Dunkin Donuts. He has no idea that I’m boycotting Dunkin Donuts (personal reasons) and couldn’t even eat the danish but it’s the thought that counts.

I spent the majority of the day following up on emails and making phone calls and then in the afternoon, the advertising team presented a campaign to me in the conference room. I was really impressed that BJ led the presentation like a seasoned professional and even threw out some buzzwords. Maybe he was learning something from his internship after all. Once they finished, I made them write down the few pointers I had then they started to file out.

“I missed you this weekend,” BJ said, joining me at the end of the conference room table.

I scoffed. “Shut up. No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. Four whole days without my favorite boss lady. It was miserable,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and gathered my things.

BJ stepped closer and put a hand on the table in front of me so I was kind of pinned in.

“Brandon, if you do not step away from me right now…” I warned.

“If I don’t step away from you, what? What are you going to do, Reese?” he challenged.

“I’m going to kick your ass. Now move.” I tried to push past him, but the kid is a lot stronger than he looks. I rammed into his arm and he didn’t even budge.

BJ began laughing which only pissed me off further. I tried to duck under his arm but he lowered it. An epic battle of me trying to get free and BJ refusing to let me ensued. It was completely childish and unnecessary. Then he put his other hand on the other side of me so that I was completely pinned in with my back against the table. I could feel his hips on my tummy.

“Whatcha gonna do now, Reese?” he taunted. He was so close that I could smell the dark chocolate he’d eaten during lunch on his breath.

I was super irritated but oddly turned on. His body pressed against mine felt way better than it should’ve.

“BJ,” I said as evenly as I could. “I have a lot to do. Will you please let me go?”

“What do I get out of it?” he asked.

“You won’t get reported to HR,” I smiled.

He bit his lip as if thinking about it then finally released me. Before I could get far, he ruffled my hair all over my head. I flicked him off before walking out the door.

Whitney was standing outside the conference room when I walked out. She gave me a weird look, but I just smiled and walked past her.

When I got back to my office I started thinking about the pros and cons of hooking up with BJ. I could definitely lose my job if I did, but that was only if anyone found out. BJ and I could enjoy a night of fun and keep it between the two of us. But the best part of flirting with BJ is knowing that both of us want to fuck each other (him more than me obviously) but not being able to act on it. If we did, it would ruin that whole relationship completely.

I can’t even believe I’m thinking like this.

drama in the office – pt. one.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I did my laundry, tried to lay out (thanks, Chicago, for having shitty weather), cleaned, worked out, read, and organized my nail polish. On Sunday morning, Kendra and I went to brunch then loitered in Nordy’s for a few hours. I didn’t buy anything except a totally necessary Kate Spade iPad case and another bottle of Prada Candy.

On Monday morning, I ran into a college classmate while I was picking up my lunch at a deli on my way to work. I haven’t seen him since we graduated and I had no idea he even moved to Chicago so we stood there catching up for awhile. We are going to try to grab drinks soon. I don’t get to see my friends from college much these days so it will be nice to be able to hang out with him.

When I got to the office, Whitney and Amanda were huddled in the lobby of our building. It appeared that Whitney was consoling Amanda, whose face was partly covered by her hair but clearly red. Interesting.

BJ was waiting with my morning chai when I got to my office.

“Morning,” I greeted him. “I just saw your girlfriend. She seemed upset.”

BJ followed me into my office. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s fucking insane.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“First she got us matching t-shirts made which is weird because we aren’t even in a relationship. And then her parents were in town over the weekend and she wanted me to meet them. When I told her no, she started bawling,” he explained.

Classic behavior of a girl who gets attached after intercourse. “Maybe you shouldn’t have had sex with her if you weren’t interested in a relationship. She probably thinks you led her on,” I said.

“That’s the thing – we didn’t have sex. We went on one date and just fooled around and stuff. I don’t know why she went crazy.”

I actually felt bad for the girl. No one wants to feel rejected like that (been there). And you can’t help it if you’re a clingy psychopath. Poor Amanda.

I got a text message from Whitney a few minutes later. “I’ll explain later, but something happened over the weekend and Amanda and BJ need to be kept far away from each other. We will be blogging from the Internet cafe until 2:00.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course Whitney had to pretend to be all in the know about everything.

By lunchtime everyone had heard the story and BJ was enjoying telling it. I sent him and Ryan out of the office to network when Whitney and Amanda were due to arrive back so the confrontation could be avoided. And I was pretty proud of myself for not fueling the fire because I definitely wanted to see that altercation go down.

As I was leaving for the day, I ran into Whitney and we headed to the subway stop together.

“Sorry about earlier. Apparently Amanda and BJ were dating and had a falling out over the weekend,” she explained.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure they were actually ‘dating.’ I think she thought it was more than it was,” I clarified.

“I think she thinks BJ led her on and was a total jerk when she asked where they stood,” Whitney said.

“I think she was coming on too strong and kind of scared BJ away. They’re only here for the summer and he probably wasn’t looking for a relationship,” I said.

“Well BJ should have told her that upfront,” Whitney said curtly.

I realized that we were bickering about two twenty one year old interns and I have much bigger things in life to worry about.

“Maybe. But neither of us really knows what happened so….”

“God, that BJ kid is such a douche,” Whitney went on. “He planned on sleeping with her and then kicking her to the curb. What an asshole.”

“You don’t know that,” I said defensively.

“But I know the type of guy he is. He crosses girls off a list like they’re groceries. He’s disgusting.”

Even though she may have been right, it was not fair for her to make accusations about BJ like that. I’m pretty sure they’ve never even had a conversation.

“I don’t think it’s fair for you to call him disgusting when you don’t even know him. Don’t make hasty generalizations because you’ve dealt with guys like that,” I said.

Whitney gave me a weird look. “Uh okay, Reese. See you tomorrow.”

She put her headphones in so we didn’t have to speak anymore.

i know i’m not a walk in the park.

I was so excited for Wednesday happy hour. Preston and Carly were joining us and Kendra found a place that was having two-for-one frozen drinks. We ended up getting this adorable server who I spent most of the evening flirting with. I realized that I had no desire to date a waiter (personal preference) so I decided to hook him up with Carly instead!

He stopped by our table to check on us and I took the opportunity to begin my matchmaking scheme. I subtly asked if he (Chris) had a girlfriend and when he said no, I pointed out that Carly was also single. I began finding other random things they had in common like both of their names started with the letter C and they both had neutral colored shirts on. They were practically meant for each other. I insisted they exchange numbers after we paid the bill and Carly awkwardly obliged.

As we walked out of the restaurant, Carly asked, “Reese, what the fuck was that?”

I feigned surprise. “What do you mean? I was doing you a favor.”

“Reese, do you remember what happened last time you tried to set one of us up?” Kendra asked.

“What?” I replied.

“I was harboring a fugitive for two weeks because his parents threw him out!” Carly exclaimed.

I erupted in laughter. I completely forgot about that. How was I supposed to know the guy had several warrants out for his arrest? People don’t tell you these things right away.

On my way home, I got a text from Eric inviting me to come over. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I told him yes and he said he would be over in an hour to pick me up. Though the whole Brooke situation was unclear, Eric expressed that he wanted to continue seeing me and I thought that was really sweet. Plus I had a fresh Brazilian that I needed to show off.

We got to his place and snuggled on the sectional while watching Netflix. Naturally this turned into me bouncing up and down on his dick. Afterwards, Eric began getting dressed and said he was willing to take me home whenever I was ready.

I sat there naked, looking at him. Usually I spent the night without question and now suddenly he was kicking me out?

“Um okay. Do you have something to do tonight?” I looked at the clock on his cable box. “It’s 10:30?”

“Not tonight, but in the morning. I have a meeting really early…” he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Can’t you take me home on the way there?” I pressed on.

“I would rather not. Your place is not on the way to my meeting. In fact, it’s in the opposite direction. It would be an inconvenience.”

“I’m an inconvenience?”

Eric rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say that. I would just rather you not sleep here tonight.”

I really didn’t care about spending the night with him that much, but the fact that he was so adamant about me leaving was pissing me off.

“Is this about Brooke?” I asked, in an accusatory tone.

Eric sighed. “No. This is about me.”

“Lies. It’s totally about her.”

“Reese,” Eric started, but I interrupted him.

“You and Brooke are totally a couple. I’m not stupid. I know that’s why you stopped calling me,” I continued.

“No, I stopped calling you because you’re fucking crazy!” Eric shouted.

I was silent. It is rare that a guy can just shut me up like that. But that stung. I know I’m not a walk in the park, but crazy?

“Um, okay,” was all I said. I began getting dressed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Reese. You just do some crazy shit sometimes,” he backtracked.

I ignored him and finished getting dressed. The drive to my apartment was relatively silent and when we got to my apartment, Eric put a hand on my knee.

“Bye, Reese,” he said with such finality that I knew it was the end of us. I wasn’t particularly sad, mad or upset because I knew I had fucked up any chances with him anyway. But I know I am going to miss our sexcapades. Oh and riding through the city in a Bentley.

“Bye!” I sang and slammed his car door.

He sped off before making sure I got inside safely which was actually really rude.

that bj must have changed his life.

I didn’t hear from Eric until Sunday afternoon which was fine because work was insane. On Saturday morning, Kendra and I went to a friends and family sale at Preston’s boutique, spent a ton of money and regretted nothing. Afterwards, we got lunch then Kendra abandoned me because John made plans.

I went home and took a bubble bath, watched Frozen (overrated), then went out for drinks with Carly. I met this hot guy from Boston (that accent – my loins) and spent the majority of the night talking to him. He worked as a project manager and was in Chicago on business. He was hilarious. Carly was busy making out with his friend/coworker in the corner of the bar which I didn’t really approve of, but who am I to judge? Afterwards the four of us went to a pizza place and sat around talking for an hour. Boston tried to get me to go back to his hotel with him but I politely declined. We did exchange numbers in case he is ever back in Chicago. And honestly it was nice to have a distraction so I didn’t tipsy-text Eric and have a repeat of Wednesday night.

I was doing squats with whitening strips in on Sunday when Eric called. He said he was ordering Thai for dinner and wanted me to join him. I said yes, but needed two hours to get ready. I showered, packed an overnight bag and put on something comfortable (high waist leather shorts, loose tank, Bombshell bra).

“Hey there, pretty lady,” Eric said when I got in the passenger seat. Then he grabbed me and kissed me and it was really affectionate so either he really missed me or that blow job changed his life.

He stopped and picked up our food then we sat at his new chrome bistro table and ate our noodles and vegetables.

After we ate, I retreated to the couch while Eric cleared our mess, and he joined me when he finished. We spent twenty minutes trying to find something to watch on Netflix and finally settled on Side Effects.

“Did you have a good week, Reese?” he asked as the movie started rolling.

“I did,” I replied. “It was busy, but I didn’t mind. Big things are happening in my company and it’s amazing to be a part of it.”

“That’s awesome. I’m sure it’s all because of you,” he said.

I giggled modestly even though he was absolutely right. “It is all of us. We have a great team.”

“And you’re still down to earth,” Eric smiled.

“Thank you. How was your week?”

“Fine. Busy. I’m happy we’re getting to hang out now.”

At some point, he’d grabbed my feet into his lap and was massaging them and it felt amazing. I don’t know why Eric was being so sweet to me, but I obviously wasn’t complaining.

We talked about his condo decor and him possibly adopting a dog and then finally he pulled into his lap and kissed me. He pulled off my tank top then my bra and squeezed my boobs in his hands. Eric is like the sweetest giant I know, but he’s so rough sexually. I love it. He doesn’t actually hurt me like Christian Grey (eye roll), but it’s just enough to keep me on my toes.

His shirt came off and then my shorts. I could feel his hard penis between my legs and I really just wanted to fuck his brains out. He wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me so he could pull his shorts down and then brought me back down right onto his dick. Bliss.

I bounced up and down while he alternated between kissing my lips, kissing my boobs, and groaning my name. Then I spun so that my feet were on the ground and my back was to Eric. Basically I was riding him while sitting on his lap. Girls, if you haven’t tried this yet do so immediately. It’s a game changer. He pulled my hair off my neck and kissed me until I came. I was exhausted.

Eric, however, apparently wasn’t and bent me over the side of the sectional and fucked me from behind until we both came. Then we both collapsed and fell asleep on the sectional.

hot mess in high heels.

Tag Archives: sex