i feel like you’re judging me.

On Saturday morning when I woke up, I had an iMessage from Brady. It said, “Up for a run this morning?”

It was from thirty minutes prior and while I did not particularly want to go for a run, I did want to see Brady. I replied, “Yes.”

“Should I come and get you? We can run by the lake.”

“Give me thirty minutes,” I told him.

I jumped out of bed, showered and threw on lululemon shorts and a t-shirt from college. I hoped Brady didn’t want to run far because I was fucking tired and didn’t want to sweat my face off.

Brady called exactly thirty minutes later and let me know that he was waiting outside my apartment. I grabbed my wallet in case he wanted to get breakfast afterward and met him downstairs.

“Morning,” he said when I got in the car. He drove us to the beach a little bit south of both of our apartments, away from the Lollapalooza and tourist craziness.

We stretched and he told me we could do a short run (“only” two miles). I silently prayed before we began that I could pull this off like I did the 5K. I’m still recovering from that by the way.

Prayer works. I managed to finish the run – alive and not completely drenched in sweat. I even managed to talk to Brady about the weeks we’d had at work. Afterwards, we walked a short “cool down” lap and Brady mentioned that there was a pizza place he wanted to try. At first he just kept talking about how he heard it was really good and they had a large beer selection and yada, yada, yada then finally he asked if I wanted to go with him later that evening.

I, of course, said yes and he said that he would reserve us a table and pick me up later.

I spent the majority of the day out shopping with Preston. We had paid off our credit cards so we were celebrating by maxing them out again. And also I needed something to wear for my pizza and beer date so he helped me.

Brady texted me at 6:30 letting me know our table would be ready at 7:30. Luckily I had already showered and blow dried my hair because an hour is just not enough time to get ready. I’ll have to let him know for next time.

The place was packed, but Brady valeted his car so he didn’t have to find parking. Our table was right by the large open window that faced the street and we ordered a pizza with a ton of random toppings on it (I mean, sundried tomatoes? So unnecessary) and a pitcher of some craft beer the waitress recommended.

Brady asked what I did with my day and I told him about celebrating paying my credit card off.

“That seems a little counterproductive,” he said.

“I feel like you’re judging me.”

“No way. I’m offended that you think I would judge you.”

“I’m offended that you would call my day counterproductive.”

“My apologies. I’m sure you have a logical reason for your actions today.”

Was this our first fight?

“Thank you. I get cash rewards for spending a certain amount. How could I not participate in that?”

“You make a compelling argument, Reese. Cash rewards are certainly a lucrative incentive.”

I just wanted to shake him. Did he ever snap out of it? The night went on with us playfully bantering back and forth like that. Even though he talks like a college professor sometimes, we have the same sarcastic sense of humor. And, he knows how to have fun. After we finished our pizza and beer he ordered us tequila shots. It’s like he knows the way to my heart. After we left the pizza place he invited me back to his place. Chris was home (sans Carly who was nannying) and the three of us drank beer out on the patio. I felt like one of the guys.

Eventually Chris went inside to bed, but Brady and I stayed outside. At around midnight or one am we were tired and slap happy and laughing at anything and everything.

“I’m tired,” Brady said, yawning. “Do you want to just stay here and I can take you home in the morning?”

Oh my God. Immediately I thought of Kendra. She would definitely tell me not to do it – we had been drinking and things could happen. I wasn’t supposed to have sex with him. But he didn’t feel like taking me home. What was I supposed to do, walk?

“Okay,” I said.

We went inside to his room and he started pulling out extra blankets and sheets and a t-shirt for me to sleep in. I changed, got in his bed and started getting comfy.

“Well it appears that you’ve already claimed the bed. I’ll go sleep in the basement,” Brady said.

He tucked a blanket under his arm and reached for one of the pillows on the bed. I grabbed his arm.

“You can stay here with me,” I told him as if it was actually my bed.

He didn’t object. Instead, he changed into just shorts with no shirt, flipped off the light then climbed into bed with me. I noticed another small tattoo on his chest and made note to ask about it later.

“I’m physically unable to sleep with a shirt on,” he explained.

What about laying horizontally makes you lose inhibitions? That’s pillow talk, I guess.

“Brady, have you ever had a girlfriend?” I asked.

“Where did that come from?”

“I’m just wondering.”

“Yeah, I’ve had one serious girlfriend.”

“What happened with her?” I wanted to know. The reason they broke up would give me a lot of insight into how Brady operates as a boyfriend.

He looked off past me for a moment and I almost felt bad for asking him. Was that too personal? I didn’t want to pry or anything, I was just curious.

“She accepted a job in New York City. We tried the long distance thing for a little while, but it wasn’t coducive to a satisfying relationship.”

“So if she was still here, do you think y’all would still be together?”

“Hard to say.” Brady paused. “We are two completely different people now. That was almost two years ago so our lives and circumstances have considerably changed.”

I immediately wondered what the girl is like. She is probably a doctor or rocket scientist or something I will never be smart enough to do. She probably owns a condo, has $100,000 in retirement already and has her finances on lock because she doesn’t spend money on designer shoes, handbags and clothing. She’s probably super low maintanence. The thought of Brady with another girl actually hurt.

“I imagine you’ve had a ton of boyfriends,” he said.

“Hey!” I said, poking his bare chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you could have any guy you want. You’re probably constantly fighting them off.”

I considered this. I’ve never had trouble getting guys or anything, but I do have trouble with relationships. I think I expect too much. And I’m also very needy emotionally. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

“I’ve dated around,” I said. “But only one serious relationship, like you.”

“Yeah? What’s the story there?”

I didn’t even want to get into it. “It just didn’t work out. We wanted different things.”

Different things = I tried to turn a player into a relationship guy.

Somehow we started making out. I can’t remember who initiated it – I think it was mutual. Unlike last time, I was (mostly) sober and it felt right to be kissing him at that moment. It was almost innocent for some reason – I knew things weren’t going to go further and I was okay with that. Plus we were both really tired.

We pulled apart and laid there for a moment then I turned so that my back was to him and I was the little spoon.

“Your hair smells really good,” Brady said. And then he brushed it aside and planted a light kiss on my neck. Y’all know how I feel about my neck – it sent a sexy chill down my spine. Brady draped an arm around my waist and we immediately fell asleep.

When I woke up, Brady was still sleeping but facing away from me. Something about waking up next to a guy makes me so turned on. I wanted to flip him over and do naughty things to him.

Instead, I found my phone and texted Kendra. “I slept with Brady last night.”

She responded, “Of course. I’m not even surprised. Are you capable of not immediately having sex with a guy?”

I knew she would react like this and I couldn’t help grinning at her predictableness.

“For your information, we slept in the same bed but we didn’t do anything sexual. We just kissed.”

“I don’t believe you have that kind of willpower.”

“It’s true. I want to have sex with him eventually of course, but I think waiting until it feels right is best. I don’t want to rush in to anything.”

“Is this Reese I’m talking to?”

“Yes it’s me!”

“You sound so mature. I’m actually proud of you.”

“Thank you. I just realized that I actually like this guy. I don’t want to ruin it like I always do.”

I couldn’t even believe what I was typing. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not into romance or sappiness. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’m really guarded with my emotions. I don’t usually share how I really feel which has been detrimental to my past relationships.

I laid there for a little while longer, pinning food on Pinterest. I was pinning something about quinoa when I felt Brady beginning to stir and wake up. He turned on his back and stretched.

“Morning,” he said.

Just as I was about to respond, the door flew open and Chris shouted, “Hey jackass, do you want to-”

He saw me laying in the bed and his eyes widened. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t even know you were still here, Reese.” He backed out and closed the door.

“I guess he didn’t want anything,” Brady said.

I smiled and shrugged.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Your bed is so comfy. I could stay here all day,” I said.

“You’re certainly welcome to. I like to stay in bed as long as humanly possible on Sundays.”

“Me too,” I said.

We laid there for a while, just talking. Then we got hungry and decided to go to the kitchen to find food. I had worn a dress over and didn’t want to change so I just wore his oversized t-shirt down to the kitchen. We poured bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios and sat at the dining room table eating. We lounged around for the rest of the day, watching tv and generally just being lazy. Chris told us he was going to meet up with Carly and I quickly texted her that Brady and I didn’t have sex because I knew Chris would tell her that I spent the night.

Brady finally took me home at 6:30. I didn’t want to go because I was enjoying being lazy with him, but I was excited to shower and put on my own clothes. Before I got out of the car, Brady said, “Do you want to get dinner this week?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Okay. Monday or Tuesday will likely work best for me,” he said.

“I’m glad you’re squeezing me into your packed schedule.”

“I’m going to be cutting it close, but I’m certain it will be worth it.”

mediation of my own.

Kendra and I met for margaritas and chips and queso (not sorry) on Wednesday. We went to a neighborhood I don’t frequent so naturally I had to mix and mingle with the other patrons. We ended up talking to this group of guys and pushing our tables together.

They had come directly after work in the financial district and and all looked dapper in smart suits. The guy I was sitting next to, Cole, was the hottest (not Brady hot, but still hot) and was all over me. He is one of those guys who knows how to work a room. As soon as I told him my name, he used it every opportunity he had.

“Do you want another margarita, Reese?”

“So Reese, do you live around here?”

“Are you going to Lolla, Reese?”

I heard that when you first learn someone’s name you should use it several times to make it stick. Cole was definitely doing just that and it was obvious. I ended up giving him my number even though he’s kind of cocky and I have no interest in dating him. Not when I kind of have Brady who is much more attractive and doesn’t act like God’s gift. Brady hasn’t talked to me at all since Saturday though so whatevs.

When I got to work on Thursday morning, Whitney followed me into my office again.

“Reese,” she started before I even put my stuff down.

“Yes, Whitney?” I said, exasperated. I knew it was going to be something about Amanda/gossip/drama and I just don’t have the time.

“I know you’re unhappy about what’s going on in the office, but you can’t just threaten people because things aren’t going your way,” she said to me like I’m a seven year old child.

“What are you talking about?”

“Amanda told me you called her into your office and threatened her because she’s talking to BJ again.”

I rolled my eyes again. Good grief. Did I ever even mention BJ to Amanda? I’m convinced that they both just pull all this stuff out of their asses.

“I’m not even going to entertain this,” I said, booting up my computer. I started logging in and pretended she wasn’t still standing there.

“Amanda is really upset. I think you should talk to her and maybe apologize…”

“I’m not fucking apologizing to her,” I said, not looking up from my computer.

“Reese, I know you’re not used to being in a higher position with a company, but you can’t just do and say whatever you want. There are consequences.”

Now she was lecturing me.

“Okay,” I said.

I felt her staring at me for a moment before walking out.

I was surprised, but not surprised when Tracey called me and asked me to come to her office later. Amanda and Whitney were already down there when I got there. Seriously? I actually had real work to do.

“Thanks for joining us, Reese,” Tracey said as I slid into the open seat in front of her desk. “So Whitney and Amanda have a few concerns with you and wanted to be able to do so with me present to make sure nothing goes awry.”

Of course. As if I’m some big bad wolf.

“Thanks, Tracey,” Whitney said. She turned to me. “Reese, I tried to discuss things with you this morning before having to get Tracey involved, but you weren’t receptive at all. I was just trying to express to you that Amanda is upset that you threatened her.”

“What was the nature of this threat?” Tracey wanted to know.

Before I could answer, Amanda piped up. “Aron told me that Reese is upset because BJ and I are on speaking terms again. So Reese called me in her office and said that she would send me back to school with a negative recommendation.”

Tracey didn’t say anything so Amanda went on.

“Because Reese and BJ hooked up, you know? So she is upset that he and I are friends again and they aren’t. I feel like I’ve done a great job this summer so a bad recommendation would be unfair.”

“You have done a great job,” Whitney said.

Tracey gave me an odd look that let me know that she had no idea about the BJ thing. Shit. If they could just lie, I could too right?

“I didn’t hook up with BJ. Everything you just said is a flat out lie,” I said calmly.

Amanda and Whitney looked at each other.

“I don’t know what you guys did, but he seemed to be pretty familiar with with your apartment and where you live,” Whitney said. “And your body….”

“We all know BJ is trouble. Didn’t you two have a falling out earlier this summer, Amanda? In fact, weren’t you in this office before, having a mediation? What’s the common denominator here?” I said, sweetly.

Amanda’s face began to flush and she smiled sheepishly at Tracey.

“I’m offended that y’all would even think I would involve myself with him in that way. That’s insulting to my character and integrity.”

Whitney wouldn’t look at me.

“I have no reason to be threatened by you at all, Amanda. I find it appalling that you would sit here and lie to Tracey when we both know the truth. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. You too, Whitney,” I said.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then Amanda said, “You did say you would give me a bad recommendation.”

“Because you were talking shit and gossiping. I think your professors and future employers should know that you can’t handle yourself in a professional work environment.”

Amanda was looking straight ahead avoiding eye contact, but I could see that her face was turning scarlet.

“Sorry,” she said quietly.

“Do you accept her apology, Reese?” Tracey asked.

“Sure.” I wasn’t going to be friends with the girl though.

“Do you have anything to apologize for?” Tracey asked.

Honestly I didn’t, but I also didn’t want to seem like a cunty bitch. “I’m sorry that you thought I was threatening you.”

Amanda accepted my apology and Tracey said we could leave. I bolted out of there before she could ask me to stay and elaborate on the BJ situation. Plus I had ~~Pinterest~~ work to do.

confronting amanda.

My dad was in the city for business on Monday and treated me to lunch. I never realize how much I miss my family until I see them. We met at an Italian restaurant not far from the office and my dad already had a table by the time I got there. When I spotted him sitting there in his slick navy suit I nearly cried. I haven’t seen my parents since Christmas and it has been way too long.

In some ways my mom and dad are polar opposites. He is in charge of the entire financial department for a Fortune 500 energy company so he makes like, a ton of money. He’s very business-minded. It’s all work, work, work with him even on holidays and weekends. I don’t blame him – working hard is how he got to where he is now. Even though he brings home enough money per year to buy a small jet, he is still very humble. He drives a Honda, buys his suits from Dillard’s and gets excited about free samples at the grocery store.

My mother, on the other hand, drives a super unnecessary white BMW X5, has a personal shopper who buys groceries for the house, and has an average of fourteen credit cards at any given moment. She was a practicing therapist for several years before starting a cupcake business with a friend. She never went back to therapy and relies on the profits from her cupcake shop (and my dad’s money) to support her extravagant lifestyle.

They met in college and bonded over their love of food. My mom says they would go out to eat six days a week which honestly sounds really awesome. Except now my mom isn’t a very good cook. They got married as soon as they graduated and found out they were pregnant with me on the first day of their honeymoon. They obviously love each other and get along great, but sometimes I feel like my dad wishes he would have married someone else.

I’m the perfect mix of them both.

“Hi Daddy!” I greeted him.

He stood up and hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe. I needed that hug though.

“You look amazing, pumpkin,” he said, kissing me on the cheek.

I’ve told my dad nine billion times not to call me “pumpkin.” It insinuates that either a) I’m big and round like a pumpkin or b) I overdid it with the self tanner and am the shade of a pumpkin. Both of which are unacceptable and downright mean.

“Thank you. I’ve been working out and stuff. I even ran a 5K!” I told him as we sat down. The “working out” part was obviously a lie, but whatever.

“Good for you! And you ran the entire thing?”

I nodded. “Of course. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

“That’s mighty impressive, doll. The Reese I know would’ve had a horse and carriage take her to the finish line.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, but couldn’t help thinking that was a great idea. Next time.

We ordered small plates and talked about my mom and other family back home. Mom is up to her old tricks, maxing out the credit card and hoarding expensive, vintage furniture. In her defense though, our house does look like a grand, french provincial estate. It was even photographed for a local magazine a couple years ago.

All of my grandparents are retired except my maternal grandmother who owns and manages a highly successful high rise apartment complex downtown. We are convinced she will never retire. Daddy says they are all doing great except missing me tremendously (who wouldn’t?).

Catching up with my dad was fun and I was sad when we both had to go back to work. He made me promise to make a trip home soon and I told him I would.

When I got back to the office, I started chatting with Aron outside the break room. Since I had him alone I decided to casually mention the whole Whitney/Amanda thing and find out his involvement. He assured me that he didn’t tell Amanda anything about me and I believed him.

“Between you and me,” he said, looking over his shoulder. “Amanda is talking to BJ again. She told him that you caused a bunch of drama in the office and he said you’re a high schooler stuck in a 24 year old’s body.”

I saw red. I really didn’t think that I cared about the opinions of those peasants but that really pissed me off. How was I causing drama? What lie did she tell BJ to make him think I’m some immature drama queen? And why would Amanda be stupid enough to get back in contact with him after all he did to her? Ugh.

I thanked Aron for the information even though I wished he hadn’t told me. There was no way I wasn’t going to confront Amanda now.

Unlucky for her, I caught her walking past my office later that afternoon.

“Amanda!” I called after her sweetly. “A quick word?”

She turned and looked at me curiously then walked into my office.

“How’s your day going?” I asked in my best sorority girl voice.

“Good,” she smiled. “Whitney is letting me write the blog posts for next week so that’s what I was working on.”

“Nice. Blogging is fun, right?”

She nodded.

“Just really quickly,” I said, getting into it. “People have been telling me that you’re saying things about me – inappropriate things – and I wanted to address it before it goes too far.”

I had barely finished the sentence when she said, “I haven’t said anything about you,” and crossed her arms defensively.

“Okay… But I do think you must have said something to make people think you were talking negatively about me.”

“No I didn’t. I haven’t said a word about you,” she said defiantly.

The little bitch was bold. I definitely expected to just say a few words and scare her out of my office, but she wasn’t backing down.

“Whatever you say, Amanda. Just know that if I hear anything else, I’m going directly to Tracey so she can handle it.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Oh so is Tracey actually disciplining people for their actions now?”

For a moment I didn’t know where she was going with this then I caught her drift. I hadn’t been fired over the BJ incident.

“Yes she is. So continue talking if you want to be sent back to school with a bad recommendation.”

Amanda smiled and said, “Okay, Reese.”

Even though she looked angelic in her Lilly Pulitzer shift dress and matching turquoise headband, I wanted to snatch her hair out.

“Have a nice day,” I said and watched her walk out.

—

note: thanks for the recent comments everyone. most of y’all are so sweet and I appreciate it. 🙂 I’m going to be adding a FAQ page to this blog this week or next to address some of the questions I’ve been getting. if you have any you think should be added, email or tweet me. or leave it as a comment obviously. bye!

hotmessinhighheels@gmail.com
twitter.com/hotmessReese

what an amateur mistake.

Brady and I texted all day on Friday. Well as much as we could with him being busy with work. We decided that we would do the beach Saturday afternoon so after work I got a wax and a new suit (obviously).

We met at Brady and Chris’s place at 1:00 PM. We were supposed to just meet them there then immediately go the beach near their house, but Chris and Carly disappeared to his room. Those two have turned into horny teenagers lately, hooking up whenever they get an opportunity (and making opportunities when necessary).

While we waited for them to be ready, Brady asked if I was hungry. I was actually starving because I had fasted all morning and the evening before (who wants to look like a beached whale in front of their future husband?). I told him I was fine so we sat at the dining room table talking. It was really sweet because he asked about things I told him on Friday. He actually listened and cares and I’m not used to that. Then I started to feel bad that we were just talking about me so I asked him to tell me more about his job since I’m not even sure exactly what he does.

Finally, Chris and Carly emerged so we walked down to the beach. It was obviously packed, but we managed to find a spot to set up camp. Carly and I immediately took our caftans off and oiled up. The sun wasn’t really out, but it was hot so we took advantage.

“Seriously? That’s what you guys came here to do?” Chris asked.

“What?” Carly said. “What else are we supposed to do?”

Chris picked Carly up and threw her over his shoulder. “This!”

Carly and Chris played in the water while Brady and I sat back on the towels. He kept his shirt on which I found really annoying and childish.

“Aren’t you going to get in the water?” Brady asked me.

“Yeah, maybe later,” I said even though I knew it wasn’t true. I love going to the beach and pool, but I actually hate getting wet. I can’t be the only one, right?

We sat there and people watched and talked until Chris and Carly got back. The four of us hung out and lounged and it was really laidback. I did notice that I never caught Brady checking out my body or chest which I found weird because my boobs looked really good. I even caught Chris looking at my chest.

Eventually we got hot and tired of the tourists so we decided to get food. We walked to a bar and grill not far from their place. We started with a round of shots then ordered food. Everyone ordered cheeseburgers and fries and heavy stuff, but since I was still in my bathing suit (with a coverup over it but still) so I got two avocado and prosciutto crostinis. Oh and a Long Island. Brady asked if I was sure that’s all I was going to eat and his concern was really cute.

We had another round of shots and I noticed that I was getting more talkative and touchy. I kept grabbing Brady’s hand and rubbing his thigh. He didn’t seem to mind and started grabbing my hand back and putting his arm around my shoulders.

Carly needed to go to the restroom and obviously I went with her. As soon as I stood up, I realized I was drunk. I hadn’t eaten in almost twenty hours so of course. What an amateur mistake.

When we got to the bathroom, I explained to Carly the situation.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep eating and you should be able to drink whatever you want,” she assured me.

I got back out there and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries, but I was drunk and grossed out by the thought of eating anything. Chris kept ordering us shots and the day started to get fuzzy.

I recall walking to the duplex from the bar (and venting to Brady about something work related), causing a scene in their kitchen with Carly, and making out with Brady on his bed (!!!???). I passed out at some point after that.

I woke up freezing under a mound of white blankets. At first, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized that I was in Brady’s bed and started remembering the day, being intoxicated and making out with Brady. God. So much for keeping Drunk Reese underwraps. Brady probably thinks I’m psychotic.

I laid there for a moment, checking my phone. It was 10:30 PM and I only had one new text message from my mom who said she was going to a party and wanted my opinion on what to wear.

“LBD and lace up pumps,” I told her without even asking what kind of party, who would be there, etc.

I sent a text to Kendra next. “Got drunk and made out with Brady. What do I do?”

I pushed back the thick comforter and saw that I had ditched my coverup and was laying there in just my bikini. Ugh. I found it abandoned on the side of the bed, threw it on and headed out the door. Brady was walking into his room as I was walking out. He had changed into a pair of lightweight sweatpants, a t-shirt and sleek black glasses. I had no idea he even wore glasses, but he looked so, so sexy.

“Hi,” I said, shyly.

“Hey! You’re up,” he said smiling. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. Just fucking starving. Is Carly still here?”

Brady laughed. “Yeah. We’re all hanging out downstairs. There’s pizza.”

“How did you know that’s exactly what I wanted?”

“Telepathy, I suppose.”

I just smiled back.

“So we’ve got pepperoni and peppers and plain cheese. I’m sensing you’re a cheese girl.”

“Are you calling me boring?”

“Not at all. I think you’re too sophisticated for pepperoni.”

“Thanks. There are few things I’m too sophisticated for though,” I said.

Brady crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. “I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. Just petty drama at work, bottom shelf vodka, and polyester. I really am quite simple and easy to please.”

He smiled at me, amused. “Good to know.”

We talked for a while longer then headed to the basement. I wolfed down two slices of pizza (one of each topping) then I was ready to leave. Carly planned on spending the night so Brady offered to take me home. On the way to my apartment he mentioned that he had fun and wanted to hang out again, but we made no plans. When we got to my place, he hugged me and we kissed briefly.

So there’s that.

little does he know. [please comment with your opinion]

On Thursday when I got to work, I walked past Amanda on my way to my office. She avoided eye contact with me and I thought about confronting her about lying to Whitney. The fact that she was gossiping about me, a director, was not okay and I needed her to know that. But then I thought it might cause more drama than it’s worth and she will be gone once the summer is over. Still pissed at her though.

Before I could get to my office, Diana shouted my name.

“Reese! Come in here!”

She sounded excited so I rushed into her office. She looked ecstatic.

“I just got the email from Martin. They want to do it. Look.” She showed me the open email which started with: “Diana, hello beautiful.”

So apparently Rob wasn’t the only one who was straddling the line between professional and unprofessional. The email basically said that they wanted to our stuff for their website. There were some legal terms and a bunch of stuff I didn’t understand plus a contract attached.

“This is very exciting news, Reese. We’ve never done anything like this before,” Diana enthused.

So I’m glad it worked out despite Rob trying to ruin it. Diana was in a great mood all day meaning the entire office was in a good mood.

After work, I stopped by Kendra’s. John wasn’t home luckily so I got her undivided attention. I wanted her opinion on Brady plus just catch up with my best friend.

I let her go first.

“I got promoted at the law firm so now I’m a practicing attorney,” she announced.

“Kendra! That’s amazing!” I said, hugging her.

“I know! I’m so excited. Now I will be able to pay rent without dipping into my savings. And maybe even get some new work clothes.”

I hugged her again. I am genuinely happy for Kendra. Of all people, she deserves it.

“How did your date with Brady go?” she asked.

I couldn’t help smiling. “I think it went really good. He’s like, the epitome of a gentleman,” I said.

“So like everything you’re not used to?”

“Exactly. He is so sweet, but so politically correct. He hasn’t even kissed me. Little does he know I would fuck him instantly if he asked.”

Kendra laughed. “Don’t. Sounds like things are going well between you so far. Wait as long as you can to have sex with him. You know sex always ruins things with you.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yes it is. After you have sex with a guy things go down hill. Every time.”

“Besides Eric, who did that happen with?”

Kendra began naming every guy I’ve ever had sex with which was really uncalled for.

“Fine. You’ve made your point,” I said. “But what if I fall in love with him then we have sex and it sucks?”

“That’s okay. Sex can be fixed. It sucked for me and John at first.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He couldn’t make me orgasm for the first three years.”

I looked at her, appalled. Excuse me? Three years with no orgasm? Why would anyone subject themselves to that kind of torture?

But maybe she is right. Do you guys think I should wait longer to have sex with Brady? What is longer? I usually have sex with a guy after the third/fourth/fifth date. 😬

i need to read the dictionary.

Kendra had us all over for dinner on Tuesday evening. She made some sort of chicken, broccoli and rice dish that was delicious. Ever since John moved in, Kendra has turned into a complete grandma/stay at home wife. We used to do everything together and get crazy every weekend. Now I barely see her. Just like I suspected.

After we left Kendra’s, Preston came over. I hadn’t heard from Brady at all since Friday night so I wasn’t sure if we were still going to dinner. I know we were both completely trashed when we agreed on it, but still. Drunk words = sober thoughts?

Preston convinced me to text him to confirm and before I could talk myself out of it, I said, “Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?”

Almost immediately he responded, “If you want.”

I read it over several times. “If you want.” Excuse me? Of course I wanted to! Didn’t he want to, too? Before I could show Preston and have a complete freak out, Brady texted me again.

“I will probably be at the hospital until 8:30 or 9, but we could do something after that.”

That was more like it.

“Okay, just let me know. :-)” I said back.

Preston helped me find an outfit that would work no matter what we decided to do (late fancy dinner, late casual dinner, drinks, Taco Bell, rendezvous in his car, etc). We picked out a romper, a printed kimono and wedges with my hair in a fishtail braid. I hope he thinks I look cute.

When I got to work on Wednesday, Whitney followed me into my office.

“We need to talk,” she said.

“Okay… What about?” I said back.

She shut my door for privacy. “The comments you said to Aron on Monday were extremely inappropriate and unprofessional.”

“What comments?”

I had no idea what the girl was talking about. I vaguely remembered talking to Aron on Monday, but I couldn’t even recall what was said.

“That I told Diana about you and BJ, that I’m drama, that I wanted to get you fired because I’m jealous if you. He told Amanda everything. Reese, we are all adults here. There is no need to gossip.”

Wtf? I had to stand there thinking for a moment. Then I remembered that on Monday I talked to Aron in the break room during lunch. He asked how I was doing after the whole situation and I told him that I was fine and it sucked that people were gossiping. He mentioned that Amanda told him that Whitney was the one who informed Diana about BJ and me and I rolled my eyes and said I wasn’t surprised. That was the extent of our conversation. I didn’t elaborate on the Whitney issue (even though I wanted to) and certainly didn’t claim she was jealous of me or anything like that. And there were a lot of people in the break room while we were talking, including Amanda, but I never said anything directly to her. Which means that not only was Amanda eavesdropping, but she also lied about what she heard. Unless Aron lied to her about what we talked about, but that doesn’t seen like something he would do.

“Whitney,” I said as calmly as I could. “I didn’t say that about you at all. One of them is lying. If you want to get caught up with what a bunch of people are talking about then that’s on you, but I’m not. I’m not doing this. I am almost twenty five years old and I have a job to do.”

Whitney saw how upset I was getting and her face softened. “Really? I didn’t think you would say that, but I just wanted to make sure.”

I didn’t say anything so she continued.

“All of this is getting blown out of proportion. I don’t know what happened with you and BJ, but it’s really none of my business and I don’t want to get involved at all…”

“You’ve already involved yourself.”

Whitney looked frightened. “I think BJ is the real problem here. I’m so glad he’s gone.”

“Okay, well I’m going to get to work. Have a nice day,” I said, ushering her out.

Ugh. So I’m really irritated with Amanda/Aron/Whitney for trying to create even more drama.

After work, I stopped and got a facial and a mani/pedi. I needed to relax before hanging out with Brady. I started getting ready at 7:00 so I had plenty of time.

Brady texted me at 8:40: “I’m just getting off work so I can come get you whenever you’re ready.”

Obviously, I was already ready and just sitting on my couch drinking a Red Bull and watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I texted back, “I’m actually ready now.”

I hoped I didn’t sound too desperate and available.

“I’ll be there in 15 mins,” he said back.

Naturally, for the next fifteen minutes while I waited, I downed the rest of my Red Bull plus a glass of wine. Brady called when he got to my apartment and he was double parked in front of my building.

“Hi!” I said, getting in. Brady looked hot in his dress shirt with his tie undone and hanging freely around his neck. Clearly he couldn’t wait to take it off.

We talked about our days then he asked if I was hungry. I told him I was. He drove us to a little ethnic restaurant not far from my apartment. He said that he loved it and would be surprised if I didn’t too.

The place was small, dark and intimate and we snagged a table near the door. It was a little modest given his background and how much I know he brings home yearly, but I liked the vibe.

“So what’s good?” I asked, opening the menu.

“They have a platter I usually get. It has chicken, beef, lentils, potatoes, and bread. It is plenty of food for two people,” Brady said. He was so laidback and chill on Friday, but he was back to being formal and uptight.

As the night went on he started relaxing and I could tell I was making him more comfortable. He was even kind of flirting. I told him about New York City/Rob and Brady said, “I guess you can’t really blame him for being attracted to you.”

Which was sweet. And then he said, “It’s good you had the sagacity not to allow things to go further with him.”

I consider myself pretty intelligent for the most part, but I’ve never heard that word before in my life. He used several words I’ve never heard before and I made a mental note to start reading the dictionary while I do my squats. Then there was a joke about Napoleon that I didn’t understand. Brady explained it once then when I still didn’t get it, he said nevermind. I haven’t taken a history class in four years and Napoleon just isn’t someone who stuck with me. I even went home and Googled him to see if I could understand the joke, but to no avail.

We finished dinner and stayed at the restaurant until they closed. Afterwards we weren’t ready to go home so we walked to a little bar down the block. We got drinks and sat on their outdoor patio. I found out that he actually owns the duplex he lives in and rents to Chris which is super impressive because he’s only 26(ish?) and it’s a prestigious neighborhood. I can’t even imagine how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it costs him. I told him that I’m looking to purchase a home within the next few years (which is true, but my down payment is currently hanging in my closet so). He said he would get me in contact with his realtor who would be able to help me.

We talked about how we enjoy going to the beach and he suggested we go this weekend together. And then he said we could invite Carly and Chris which I didn’t agree with but whatever. As long as I get to see Brady shirtless.

After two drinks, he drove me home. We had a fun and friendly evening, it wasn’t super romantic, but it felt right. I realized that every relationship doesn’t have to be driven by sex like me and Eric’s. He leaned over and hugged me before I got out of his car and then when we pulled apart he kissed me. I don’t know if he was trying to aim for my lips and missed or if he meant to kiss me on my cheek, but it landed in the middle on the corner of my mouth.

date me then.

On Friday night, I texted all my friends letting them know that I’d had a long week and needed to drink. Kendra, John, Carly and I were going to a club that none of us had been to so I wanted to look hot/sexy/dtf/etc. I decided on a white bodycon dress with my hair down and wavy. Carly came over to pregame and by the time Kendra and John came to pick us up, Drunk Reese was ready to party.

When we got to the club, I immediately went to the bar and found a guy to take a tequila shot with me. Turns out he is a cop, a really effing hot one too. I hung out with him while Carly, Kendra and John danced. I can’t remember what we talked about, but somehow we are now friends on Facebook.

Carly came skipping over after a while.

“Reesie Cup!” she squealed, hugging me. “Chris and Brady are coming!”

“What? They’re coming here?”

“Yes, they’re on their way. They were at a bar nearby so I told them to come see us,” she explained.

“Carly, I’m drunk as fuck. Brady can’t see me like this!” I exclaimed.

“You’re fine, babe. He won’t even notice.”

I turned to the bartender and ordered a water in the largest cup they had. I needed to sober up fast – I couldn’t let Brady see me in this state. The bartender slid me a glass of water and I downed it. I demanded another and downed it too. Then I ran to the bathroom and peed it all out. While I was in the bathroom I checked to make sure that I still looked like a bombshell and the bathroom attendant girl assured me that I did.

When I got back out there, Carly was screaming on the phone trying to explain to Chris where we were. She hung up and said, “They’re here.”

For the next thirty seconds I stood there trying to give myself a pep talk. I hadn’t seen Brady in almost two weeks and he ignored my text when I did try to reach out. So I wasn’t sure what to say.

Carly squealed loudly which alerted me that they had shown up. Brady walked in behind Chris looking sexy in a white short sleeved button down and nice jeans.

They both hugged Carly then Chris gave me a drunk hug and Brady followed suit.

“Hey, how are you?” Brady said then he lightly grabbed my waist and pulled me into a hug.

“Hi,” was all I could think to say. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

We pulled apart and he kept a hand on the small of my back. “How is your night going?”

“It is going extremely well,” I said slowly, so I didn’t fumble over my words. “How’s yours?”

“Same here. We just witnessed a bar fight. Crazy stuff.”

“Mmm,” was all I said.

“What are you drinking?”

We made our way to the bar and ordered Bud Lights and stood there drinking. He asked about my week and I vaguely told him about my trip to New York. I couldn’t let him know the details of my hot mess life yet.

Suddenly, Brady said, “You are really pretty.”

I was caught off guard, but said “Thank you” automatically.

“No really,” he went on. “You are beautiful. And you look especially beautiful tonight.”

I studied his face to see if I could read him since all of this was coming out of nowhere. I noticed that his eyelids were low and his eyes were bloodshot. Brady was hammered.

“Thank you,” I said again.

“You know, it is kind of intimidating,” he said, leaning on the bar.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pretty, you’re confident, you’re smart, you have a great career… Usually pretty girls are just pretty, but you have it all together.”

I have it all together? That was so far from the truth that it was hilarious. I was going to let him believe that though.

“Like, you’re the full package. I would love to date you, you know?”

“Date me then,” I said boldly.

“You’re only saying that because you’re drunk.”

Normally I get annoyed with insecure guys, but Brady made insecure look totally adorable. I wanted to hug him and rest his head on my boobs.

“No I’m not. Ask me on a date,” I said.

He smiled. “Reese, will you go on a date with me?”

I couldn’t help smiling back. “Of course.”

He suggested dinner on Wednesday night and said he could pick me up after he got off work. I really hoped that he wasn’t just saying all this because he was drunk.

Brady and I spent the rest of the night hanging out. We talked, drank, held hands, and danced. He even waited outside the bathroom while I talked to the attendant girl for fifteen minutes about how I was in love. I wondered if this was what having a real boyfriend was like.

After a while, we were all hungry and decided to get food. There was a food truck down the block so naturally that’s where we ended up. The guys stood in line to get the food while Kendra, Carly and I stood close by.

“You guys,” I whispered loudly. “Brady and I are going on our first date on Wednesday. I think we’re actually a couple!”

“You’re a couple and you haven’t even been on a date yet?” Kendra smirked.

“I know!” I whisper-yelled back. “Things are moving really quickly!”

I turned and looked longingly at Brady. He and John were having a conversation and laughing. My heart just swells for him in a way that I can’t explain.

They brought back tacos or something I wanted nothing to do with, and we all sat at the curb eating. Afterward, Kendra and John were ready to leave and offered to take me home. Carly was going home with Chris so the six of us split in half. Before we parted ways, Brady said, “I will see you on Wednesday.”

He kissed me on the cheek and we hugged before the three of them walked to the el stop.

So now I think I have a dinner date on Wednesday. I’m actually kind of nervous. What should I do/not do/wear?

hot mess in nyc.

I managed to lay low until Thursday and I was happy to be getting out of the city even if it was for business.

Diana treated me to lunch then a car took us to the airport. Things were back to normal between us and neither of us had mentioned the “incident.” I really just want to put it behind me because I’m embarrassed beyond belief and honestly it was not worth it.

When we landed in NYC, we checked into our swanky hotel and changed into nicer clothes because we were meeting some of Diana’s friends for happy hour. We were each booked our own room which was nice, but a little bit unnecessary. Not complaining though.

Happy hour was a few blocks away from our hotel so we walked. Diana’s friends were already there looking like the the cast of the Real Housewives. I just want to be that hot when I get older. I gave myself a two drunk limit because I didn’t need to be a hot mess in NYC and with my boss no less.

Obviously, I surpassed two drinks within the first fifteen minutes. But in my own defense, Diana and her friends (who I found out are her sorority sisters) kept buying me drinks and it would be disrespectful and rude to turn them down, right?

I was tipsy when I received a text from Rob saying, “Hey lady. Heard you’re in my city already. What do you have planned for the evening?”

I grabbed Diana, who was dancing to that “Loyal” song by Chris Brown, and showed her the text.

“Have fun! Invite him! It looks like he fancies you,” she said.

“You don’t think that would be like, unprofessional?” I asked.

Diana narrowed her icy eyes at me. “Are you really trying to convince me that you care about professionalism?”

Good point.

I quickly sent Rob a text back letting him know where I was and that he was free to stop by.

Diana ended up getting belligerently drunk which is uncharacteristic of her, but very entertaining. One of her sorority sisters took her back to the hotel while the rest of us continued drinking. The girls were so much fun that I started wondering why I never joined a sorority in college (then I remembered that I hated all those try-too-hard bitches).

Rob showed up an hour later. He was cuter than I remember (maybe from all the rum) and greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“You’re looking good,” he smiled, revealing a row of blindingly white teeth.

“So are you. It’s good to see you again,” I replied.

Rob wore an expensive looking light gray dress shirt, a chic paisley tie complete with a tie clip, slacks, and shoes that probably cost more than my entire outfit.

We walked over to the bar to get drinks. He ordered a whiskey on the rocks which was impressive and made up for the fact that he’s obviously very metrosexual. We began talking, mostly about work and our respective companies. Then he started telling me about some of his previous jobs and college. While listening to his stories I tried to put some pieces together and figure out how old he is. I decided that he’s probably between 32 and 35. He made no mention of a wife, ex wife, girlfriend or fiancée so I assumed he is single and ready to settle down.

We had several more drinks and continuing talking. Well he did. I definitely think of myself as a talkative and outgoing person, but Rob wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. I kept zoning out and people watching and then he would ask questions to make sure I was paying attention.

At some point, all of Diana’s friends had left so I was alone with Rob. It was only 11:00 (8:00 by New York standards) but I knew we had that morning meeting so I told Rob I needed to go. We walked outside and he hailed a cab.

“My hotel is actually only a few blocks away. I can walk,” I said.

“Come over for a bit. It is only 11:00,” Rob said.

“I shouldn’t. I need to go check and make sure my boss is okay,” I protested.

I didn’t notice before, but Rob and I were holding hands. He pulled me closer and grabbed my waist and I felt his cold fingers on the skin between my crop top and skirt. “Come on…”

Even though Rob is hot, I was not about to put myself in that situation. And I didn’t particularly want to hook up with him or anything anyway.

“No, I really can’t. Plus I’m getting tired,” I said. This was actually true and I felt a yawn forming.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m one thousand percent sure.”

Rob looked at me for a few seconds as if he was going to say something and then let me go. “Fine. Enjoy your night.”

He climbed into the cab without saying anything else and slammed the door.

What a douche.

The next morning, I woke up feeling fine and called Diana to see if she wanted to grab breakfast before our meeting. She didn’t answer so I showered and got ready. She hadn’t called back by the time I was finished with my makeup which struck me as weird so I decided to go to her suite next door and check on her.

After I knocked for five minutes, Diana finally answered her hotel room door. She was wearing a robe and what looked like last night’s makeup was running down her face. Her normally stick straight blonde hair was pulled into a knot on top of her head and I can’t guarantee that there wasn’t vomit clumped on the side. Perfect Diana looked like hell.

“Reese, I’ve been throwing up all night and morning. I couldn’t even sleep. What did you guys make me drink?” she greeted me.

“You had a little bit of everything,” I said. I had to refrain from laughing. I really needed to get a picture of this situation for blackmail.

“I feel like shit,” she said.

“Are you going to make it to the meeting? It starts in an hour.”

“You’re going to have to take over this one, Reese. I’m about to die.”

Before I could object, Diana shut the door in my face. I stood there for a moment waiting for her to come back and when she didn’t, I knocked and waited and knocked again. She refused to answer the door so I had no choice but to go to the meeting by myself.

I met with Martin and Rob at their headquarters along with two men from their sales department. The meeting and everyone was very chill except Rob who kept demanding answers from me, making me elaborate, awkwardly staring at me when I finished talking and saying that he didn’t know if our company was a good fit. It was complete bullshit.

We ended the meeting exactly where we started and accomplished nothing. Martin assured me that he wanted to move forward with us and that he would email the final details to Diana within a week. I wanted to say “fuck you” to Rob on my way out, but decided that wouldn’t help anything.

Diana got a Mighty Kids meal from McDonald’s which is the best hangover cure so she’s going to be fine. Back to Chicago we go.

i can’t believe i’m getting fired.

I don’t know why I thought BJ wasn’t going to tell anyone about our little tryst. Of course he was going to tell the whole office, this is BJ we’re talking about.

I waltzed into the office on Monday morning and ran into Whitney, who was walking away from the executive office area.

“Morning,” I said.

She looked weirdly surprised to see me.

“Hi, Reese,” she said shortly.

“Good weekend?” I asked.

“It was pleasant.” She continued walking without another word which was rude, but I don’t expect any more from Whitney.

I walked past the interns’ desks and the guys kind of snickered and Amanda gave me an unenthusiastic smile and an eye roll. BJ was nowhere to be found, but had obviously already told everyone about our weekend. Whatever.

I spent the morning replying to emails, and re-uping on tea/avoiding curious looks in the break room. BJ must have decided to play hooky for the day, which was not surprising because he’s a pussy and can’t handle the heat.

Right before lunch Diana called me into her office. Call me naive, but I thought she was going to ask how the meeting with the magazine publisher went last week so I gathered the notes and walked down to her office.

“Shut the door,” she told me when I walked in. Her reading glasses were perched on her nose about to slip off and she didn’t even bother looking up at me.

I closed the door and sat in the white Hepplewhite chair in front of her desk. “I hope you had a good weekend. I have the notes from my meeting with the publisher from Thursday if you want to look over them. It went really well.”

Diana out her hand up to silence me. She slowly took her glasses off her face and stared at me coldly. “Reese, you may not realize this, but I know everything that goes on around here. Everything.”

I nodded. I knew exactly where this was going. She had obviously caught wind of what was being talked about in the office.

“When you started here, Reese, I saw something in you. You were ambitious, driven, aggressive, passionate. You reminded me a lot of myself.”

I nodded again.

“And you’ve done some amazing things in your time here – things no one has thought to do. You’ve created valuable relationships and outstanding partnerships.” She turned to her computer. “I just got an email from Martin, requesting we come to New York City on Thursday.”

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually getting fired. How was I going to explain this to my parents? They were going to have to help me with rent until I found another job. I have hardly any money saved. Would I have to move back home?

“You know about our no tolerance non-fraternization policy here, don’t you, Reese?” Diana continued.

I nodded. I couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“Brandon is an intern and he’s your subordinate. What I’ve been hearing is extremely inappropriate and clearly against policy. I can’t believe that you would even put yourself in a situation to let something like this happen.”

I felt my eyes filling up with tears. This was mortifying. I wanted her to just fire me so I could get out of there and figure out what I was going to do with my life. I would probably have to sell my shoe collection and all my expensive designer furniture. I would actually rather die.

“You’re such a smart girl, Reese. I’m extremely disappointed in you. You are an invaluable asset to this organization.”

She paused for an uncomfortably long time. I thought about asking her not to tell my mom what happened and assuring her that my office would be cleaned out in an hour.

“And for that reason, I’m going to overlook this temporary lapse in judgment,” Diana said.

I looked up at her, incredulous. I wasn’t fired? “Seriously?”

“You don’t see Tracey here, do you? I am keeping this between us.”

She was right. Normally Tracey would’ve handled a situation like this.

“But you have to assure me that we won’t ever, ever have to have a conversation like this again.”

“You won’t, I promise,” I said.

“To be sure, we have already transferred Brandon to the distribution center to complete the remainder of his internship. This should prevent any further issues.”

Thank goodness. I don’t want to have to avoid him in the office for the rest of the summer. Although it’s going to suck to get my own lattes now.

I scurried back to my office and took two deep breaths to calm myself. I could not cry at work. I wanted to though. I was so fucking embarrassed. I hid out in my office for the rest of the day. Diana sent me the itinerary for the NYC trip later that afternoon. We would be leaving at 3:00 on Thursday, staying at the W, meeting with Martin’s people then flying home at 1:00 on Friday.

I can’t wait to get out of Chicago.

three minutes in purgatory.

On Saturday night I was so bored I literally thought I would die. Kendra and John were at a play, Preston and his boyfriend were in Puerto Rico for the weekend and Carly was at Chris’s place and not responding. I’ve never felt so single in my life.

Finally, in one last ditch effort before I croaked, I texted BJ to see what he was doing.

He responded, “At this bar with some of the guys. Come out.”

Within thirty minutes, I was in a Finders Keepers dress, Guisseppe Zanottis and a pair of Target earrings because these were college boys I would be hanging out with so I wanted to be modest.

I finished a glass of wine and then taxied to the bar. BJ and about ten of his frat brothers had taken over a corner of the bar and had several pitchers of beer already.

“Well, look who it is. I thought you only existed in the office,” BJ said, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on my temple. Even though he’s almost four years younger than me, I still felt teeny tiny in his arms. He was wearing khaki shorts, a trendy denim button down, and Sperrys with a backward Polo hat on his head.

“Guys, this is who I was telling you about, Reese.”

The guys said hi and gave me appreciative nods. We got to talking and I learned that one of them is from a town thirty minutes away from the town I’m from so he bought me my first drink. The guys were all over me and asking tons of questions. I was obviously loving it and eating all this attention up.

Three hours and several Patron shots (they insisted) later, the frat was gone and only BJ and I remained at the bar. We were completely drunk and had spent most of night dancing, arguing about everything and laughing about nothing.

Once the bar started clearing out, we made our way outside to the muggy night.

“I’m glad you came out tonight. It took you long enough,” BJ said.

“You lucked out because all my friends were busy tonight. I was just bored enough to hang out with you,” I said.

“Oh yeah? You had fun though, didn’t you?”

I smiled. “A little bit.”

“I knew you would be a good dancer,” BJ said.

I started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and BJ grabbed my waist and pulled me close so that my back was to his chest. I quickly pulled away and pretended I didn’t like it.

I turned back toward him and he was staring down at me with a fiery look in his eyes – not smiling or looking goofy like he normally does. The truth was I wanted BJ. I wanted him badly. And it wasn’t just because I was plastered. He looked so hot in his southern preppy attire that I wanted to lick him head to toe.

There were so many reasons I shouldn’t though – he’s four years younger than me, he’s an intern and if anyone found out I would be fired, he had that “thing” with Amanda, etc. But none of that seemed to matter. No one would find out. How would they? And who cares if he’s younger? People say I have a youthful spirit anyway.

“Do you want to come over?” I asked.

“Yeah,” BJ answered.

We cabbed to my apartment and sat so close to each other I was practically on his lap. We talked about college or something and every time the driver would go over a bump or take a turn too fast, we would almost kiss.

I let us into my apartment, immediately kicked off my shoes and padded to my room to change into something more comfortable (cropped tank, lace shorts). BJ was sitting on my couch waiting.

“Damn, you look hot,” he said in a low voice.

I spun and he caught my wrist. He pulled me on his lap and I let him, no longer playing hard to get. We instantly started making out. It was urgent and a little bit sloppy, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I pulled his head back by his hair and kissed his throat. BJ let out a moan and I continued licking and sucking his neck.

We started kind of dry humping and I couldn’t even pretend not to want it anymore.

“Take me to my room,” I said.

He picked me up with my legs still wrapped around his waist and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and pulled off his shirt, seemingly simultaneously. I never knew it, but BJ has a huge tattoo of his last name going down the side of his torso which looked cool but was super pointless. Such a bro.

We ripped each other’s clothes off – my top then his shorts then my shorts. BJ was standing over my naked body in just boxer briefs. Even though he’s on the skinnier side, his body is really lean and ripped and he had a nice sized bulge in the front of his boxer briefs.

BJ leaned down and frenchkissed my hipbone then got back up and rolled on a condom. That’s when I realized that this was actually happening. It was too late to go back now (and I didn’t want to) so this had to be worthwhile.

He climbed on top of me and kind of fumbled around for a moment trying to put his penis in. Wtf. Just when I was about to blame #whiskeydick and call the whole thing off, he got it in. He started going in and out really fast like a jackhammer and it was unpleasant. I was actually bored. I knew that when I noticed that my ceiling fan needed to be dusted, something had to change.

I made BJ flip over so I was on top. He gave me a lazy version of his normal smirk and said, “You’re so sexy, Reese.”

I started riding him like California Chrome and all he could do was grab my hips and hang on. All of that sexual tension we built up came down to this so I was going to make the most of it.

“Oh my God,” BJ moaned.

I looked down and his brow was furrowed, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip so hard that it was turning white. Somehow he still looked hot and I kept going, harder.

Before I could pull out any of my signature moves (the spin), BJ let out a low groan that sounded almost like a whimper.

Um, okay.

He sighed and I felt his whole body relax. So he was finished. I climbed off him and sat there, baffled and mortified. I couldn’t believe that was it. I’d risked my job for three minutes in purgatory.

BJ wasn’t saying anything and it was pissing me off so I called his name. When he didn’t answer, I said it again and elbowed his ribs.

He let out a deep breath and rolled away from me. He was sleeping.